Your Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

More squadoos playing? You bet. TO THE GAMES!

Bengals/Chargers:

Cincy is likely to get stomped given that wr Green is done for the year and rb Mixon was limited in practice all week. On top of all that The Fecund One, Mr. P. Rivers, has placed yet another sperm bomb into Tiffany’s nether region. But perhaps this game catches the Bolts off guard, given the emotional win last week vs. Pitt and their upcoming battle with K.C.

Broncs/Niners:

The fellas that poor Nick Mullens had to lean on in the passing game go by the handles of Goodwin, Pettis and Kittles. That last guy is a tight end that has proved this year that he belongs but all I can think of is cat food when I read his name.

Eagles/Cowboys:

They came, they played, they caused people to boo uncontrollably. Philly’s running back trio of Adams, Clement and Smallwood have a collective average of 4.3 yards per carry so far this season. Each one brings a little something different to the game and it helps to keep opposing D’s a wee bit off balance. Though you wouldn’t call the Cowboys D a difference-maker they have played capably in that they’ve yet to give up 30 points in a game.

Steelers/Raiders:

Raiders have a mere 10 sacks so far this year so Ben should have all the time in the world for Brown and Smith-Schuster’s patterns to unfold. Quick! Name a player in the Raiders secondary. I thought so-if they did have someone of quality Gruden would have traded him by now.

Lions/Cards:

An inter-conference tilt that means nothing to no one.

Let’s get some soup!

 

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litre_cola

LETS FUCKING GO!!!!

Spur

That was a catch

Romonobyl

Shit shitty shit shit shit….

Mr. Ayo

Dakota Jesus delivers!

Redshirt

D.Carr pass short middle to S.Roberts to OAK 7 for -47 yards (Te.Edmunds).

Either that’s a typo from CBSSports dot com, or else Derp has transcended into physical form in Oakland.

Spur

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Gratliff

Reducing the amount of material vulnerable to staining. smart

Romonobyl

That reminds me, I’m out of Spray N’ Wash.

Horatio Cornblower

Sunset hearthands gf needs to be shoved off that cliff.

Spur

Double J needs to go remind these refs he knows where they all live and where the kids go to school.

Gratliff
Spur

Flag Goedert for not strapping on his helmet.

Romonobyl

All kinds of parity calls against Dallas for the blown OPI penalty.

Gratliff

Dallas needs to strap his fucking helmet. C’mon, son.

Mr. Ayo

Goedert, fix yo fucking helmet already!

Doktor Zymm

Hey, you know what would be great? If they FUCKING REVERSED SHITTY CALLS AT THE TIME instead of trying to make horrible makeup calls

Romonobyl

Only a matter of time before calls are eligible for review. Not a bad idea actually.

JustStopDude

You know…is there a way we could slow this game down. Its like boom, boom, boom.

We need some more flags or something to slow it down…

Mr. Ayo

How about a commercial break?

litre_cola

What the fuck is going on here

Gratliff

ERRBODY hates these fucking refs at this point

Horatio Cornblower

These guys are why NFL stadiums don’t sell anything in glass bottles anymore.

Doktor Zymm

If they make me take the batteries out of my flashlight next game I go to, I blame these refs

King Hippo

a BLEERGH on every play!

JustStopDude

Okay…that was a makeup call for the offensive PI right?

That is the only fucking thing that makes sense…

King Hippo

dueling bribes?

King Hippo

FUCK YOU, ROGER GOODELL

Gratliff

Dallas Cowboys have one more playoff win in the last 23 years than the Eagles have Super Bowl wins in the last year. Fuck you.

Spur

Fine now the BS calls are even.

Horatio Cornblower

This crew has been garbage since I turned the game on in the second half, and it doesn’t sound like they were any better in the first.

Doktor Zymm

Hrm, put me down for a marge style disapproval on that one

Horatio Cornblower

This crew is fucking terrible.

JustStopDude

Silly defender, you can only blow towards the QB…

Gratliff

ALL TEH MAKEUP CALLZ

King Hippo

WHAT???

litre_cola

done fuck this.

King Hippo

LOLZ

Mr. Ayo

BLEE’RGH will not be denied

Gratliff

LORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD FUCK YOU

Gratliff

Huh.

Horatio Cornblower

OPI. You can tell by Goedert’s reaction.

Mr. Ayo

YEE HAW!

Horatio Cornblower

Upon further review, JJ has clearly bribed, threatened, or both, the officiating crew.

Horatio Cornblower

Remember Bill Bates?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQkYA0CoMqQ

Bill Bates hit like a goddamn truck.

Mr. Ayo

Gruden Grinder

Fronkenshteen

Oh well! Too bad Dallas. But at least Dak ALMOST scored that fancy, looooong touchdown. He didn’t. Why flip the ball out to that boring RB who had nothing but open field in front of him, probably gets the first down, and chews 3 more minutes off the clock late in a one score game? It sure was EXCITING though. Better luck next time!

Horatio Cornblower

This aged well

Brick Meathook

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Horatio Cornblower

Ban this man!

Brick Meathook

Don’t hate him because he wears chaps, which by definition are assless.

Horatio Cornblower

I was talking about you.

Spur

Bears and RAMMIIT thread is up?

Petronel

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Gratliff

I hate when Red Zone cuts to a highlight and pretends that it’s live like the entire internet hasn’t already responded to it

Mr. Ayo

How is that not picked off?

/derm joke

Spur

Dak found out the Eagles have no corners.

Petronel

Well, that didn’t take long. Bonus points for the “act like you’ve been there before” walk to the sideline after.

Horatio Cornblower

This Dak-to-Cooper thing today is going to make Cooper a very rich man, because JJ is going to back up the truck before the 4th quarter ends.

Doktor Zymm

Never mind. RAIDERS NATION BLOOD CLOT SAYS COOOOOOOOOOP

King Hippo

crazily stupid throw by The Ben, but of course it works out

JustStopDude

This game is going to end up 44 to 43, without going into overtime, because one team’s kicker misses another extra point.

Spur

COOPER!!!!!!!!!!!

Gratliff

Hrm.

Doktor Zymm

The percentage of me that is totally ok with a tie here: 100

Mr. Ayo

I’M MARILYN MANSON NOW. HARF HARF!

Gratliff

Mayhap Wentz got a head owie and is just throwing to big white guy he thinks is Ertz

Gratliff

That Dallas lineman biting on the draw was delicious