Ever get picked last for any sport? Ever showed up to a store one minute after it closed? Did your fave resto run out of the ‘special’ that caught your eye? Ever gone to the fridge for that one last beer and realize that the one you just finished off was your last one?
Sure you have. These are First World problems and these are the sources (among many, many others) that cause us to feel disappointment. If I was a Seahawks/Niners tilt that gained sentience, I too would be disappointed about having to play the only other game in the 4pm window across from the Pats/Stillers tussle. I’d be wracked with self-esteem issues and would morbidly check the game’s ratings the following day so that I could wallow in inadequacy once again. TO THE GAMES!
Seattle/San Fran:
The one working headlight on the Seahawks “We’re Going To The Playoffs” bus can almost spot the post-season off on the horizon. A smackdown of a Niners team jockeying for draft position is just the ticket that is likely to get punched.*
*I’d like to make it clear that not in any way, shape or form is ‘ticket’ regarded by me to be gendered as female. Domestic violence is a serious issue-besides, the ticket was like that when I got here.
Pats/Steelers:
I yinzed up my basement by letting the toilet overflow, slashing the leather couch and drunk-texting my hot 20-something cousin. For today we are all free to let out that inner yinzer as we cheer against the Pats. [runs thru backyard wearing only an ill-fitting t-shirt] WWWWOOOOOOOOO!!!
There was beer at the beer store.
Balls and WCS just came a little bit.
The OT otter has shown up in SF, with this fun otter fact : Otters engage in necrophilia!
?quality=70&strip=all&w=720&h=480&crop=1
Stupid sexy dead otter….
That seems like something they “otter” not be doing.
/ducks to avoid rotten fruit
exciting!
The 500’s the #2 seed?
Neat to see Shazier on the field with the guys just then
No, that was Brady falling over.
/goes directly to hell.
GAH
Brady isn’t very good anymore.
I think maybe I won’t draft him next year.
Nice of Brady to call the penalty on his own lineman…
It’s the Sharpie.
That is hypnotic.
Sorry, did you say something?
There’s your fucking holding call, Tawwmy
Are we watching NE break down? That’s pretty neat
I still believe Pittsburgh is going to fuck this up
Go Tahmy
JEWKAH WOO!!!!
I really hope the night game is good. I have an Eagles fan friend who’s going to the game, and has never seen them play live before. I’m also just super amused because Nick Foles.
Is it me, or did every NFL player wear gold chains today?
Is that not normal?
Josh McDaniels is really showing his offensive genius as Brady ages.
18-17, LET’S DO THIS!!
We must haz uglee tie.
ACCEPTABLE!
The obnoxious drizzle at the SEA/SF game fully encapsulates my feelings about the 49rs
YUUUUUUUUGGGGGGE
Damnit. pats not looking good.
The surpise in Romo’s voice when he realized the penalty was on the Pats speaks volumes.
GEAUX HEAUX
/Steelers get a crucial first-down, allowing them to bleed time off the clock
//Steelers gain a yard on a run
///Ben flings the ball 50 yards downfield in the general vicinity of several players, some his, some not. Clock stops.
////Ben calls a time-out
I love how one guy’s job was to hold Winona back during that speech.
if they would stick with Samuels, they’d be up 3 scores
oddly enough, SeaTruthers/Tomsulas turned into the best-played match of the day.
And a Steelers win might eliminate the Bengals. Great.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tm_WYRkZvYk&t=2m3s
I just love the announcers reaction to Brady making a mistake. They act like its the first time they seen someone common like a cloud or grass.
I CALL THIS GAME CAMELOT BECAUSE IT IS A SILLY PLACE
Brady makes a godawful pass, resulting in an INT.
Romo: “Brady never makes that kind of mistake!”
He just did. Just now. You saw him do it.
Well, it’s hardly surprising that Romo is fellating Brady. Romo always goes down in December.
BANNER THIS MAN
Seconded.
I’m trying, but wordpress is being a bitch today.
I look forward to reading this comment for the next few days or weeks on the top of every page of DFO.
They do seem to hang around, don’t they?
HOT TAEK – neither of these chucklefucks is a Top 5 QB in the NFL (anymore)
Neither is Aaron Rodgers, and believe me I know, because I drafted his dead ass in the 3rd round this year and have been reaping 15-18 points a week from him ever since.
agreed
That moment when you’re happy Brady did something stupid, but then remember you had to start him this week because Carson Wentz is a pussy.
Brady brain farting that he’s Wilson for a sec there
Dreamboatception? DREAMBOATCEPTION!
If I was a rival fan, I would so sneak onto the sidelines and replace the oxygen tanks with helium.
Oh hell yeah!
goddamnit, Dreamboat
Do platypus’ make a noise? I bet they go ‘GROOOOOONK’
GRONK 1st down!!!!!
GRONK WOO!!!
BLEERGH with the verbal backspace/retcon.
I’m amazingly ambivalent about this game
“That Challenge makes sense because you were going to time out anyway.”
Is it just me or did Tony Romo make perfect sense?
I was just told by tWLS that she was mad at me earlier because of something I did in her dream.
I’m hesitant to find out what dream sequence tWBS did for fear of having to admit that I probably really did it foar realsies.
As someone who sometimes remembers his dreams, don’t ask her. Dreams can get very weird.
My suggested retort: “Well in my dreams you’re not such a bitch”
/does not have many friends
I would love to say that. LOL.
/not yet drunk enough
The Wee Leopard Seamus?
That checks out.
Shady refereeing for the P*ts? Get the fuck outta here.
I don’t think there’s a group of referees in the entire NFL competent enough to effectively rig a game.
Wow, I haven’t had a whiskey and coke in ages, forgot how sweet it is, blegh, soda only after this
YEAH, that’s ow-ah JEWKAH!!
I was just about to say that there was no way the Steelers were winning this game, and then Big Ben went ahead and Big Ben’d it.
HARFcertion 2: Rapey Boogaloo
That’s what he gets for trying to force it in.
About time he faced some consequences for doing that.
YES!!!!!
pats gotta do something with it!!!
Rothlisberger’s blind optimism on some of these passes is frankly hilarious.
Jaylen Samuels is absolutely gashing the P*ts, but they have to try and let The Ben play hero ball.
THAT is roughing??
I was literally at the book store just the other day having this exact conversation with myself.
And now I have three more books.
I just bought a new shelf; problem solved.
Just put it in a place that won’t flood (basement). Its a bitch to empty and move.
One of the advantages of the Kindle, I can successfully hide from myself how many books I have
I’ve had that conversion with myself at the store in regards to snack cakes.
The assailant was aged between 18-20 and 5’5. He may have some anger issues.