First off, losing to the 2018 49ers is a Michael Irvin sized bump, Seattle media.
Anyways, I am just now remembering that you all deserve results from last week. I straight up forgot. I guess I was too busy WINNING fantasy while starting Josh Rosen!
2018 Quotables – Week 15 (Submissions)
[…] 2018 Quotables – Week 15 (Submissions) – December 18, 2018 […]
I accept your application to be the next Eli Manning, Jared, but can you beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl twice first?
Hey, look everybody! It’s Enrico Pallazzo!
Coach Reid ate my pregame meal AGAIN???
“Man, these European concussion tests are really hard!”
/that’s a Man With Two Brains reference for the kiddos.
At the worst possible time, Jared Goff’s alter-ego Jeered Goof makes his appearance.
Jared Goofus or Jared Gallant?
“Where did he go? Where did he go?” – Orlando Scandrick, after being stricken with fast-onset Chris Conte Disease.
“Tch. Lamar gets put in as starter, and next thing you know, he thinks he can be vice president or something.”
“Rah, rah, sis boom bah!
Tyler’s down, ha ha ha!”
Like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone when the opening comes
When the line is broken, like a bat out of hell, I’ll be gone, gone, gone
Like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone when the opening comes
But when the play is done
And the Case goes down
And we’re one point over the Blue
Then like the old Browns before each year’s draft
I’ll come crawling on back to you
Ah, Meat Loaf…my most hated of loafs. (Respek for song parody)
“Wife says, the way I’m playing this season, I need to get my post-retirement plans up and running. So…ya think this suit will look good in the booth?”
[Like I said in the thread – insufficient RRRAAMMMITT! can make your game look like shit.]
“Check it out, guys, Mike thinks he’s Merton Hanks or some shit like that. Let’s see if he can break his neck again.”
This is actually the scene where Joe Pendleton switches bodies, in the newest Heaven Can Wait, but the timing was messed up.
When you want that moment to last forever…but it just ain’t gonna happen.
He truly is the Windows ME of QBs.
Son, you were just a turd out there. – George Bluth
Ballerina girrrrlllll….you are so love-ly!
“Is there a new sex cannon in the league? One that can shoot twice and go deep? Maybe.”
Two snaps and a backfield in motion.
P*ts/Yinzers?? HA-ted it!
Cobra Cam’s o-line should have swept the leg
“Aw, thanks everyone!”
– Trent Green, just after finishing a grand jeté while naked in church
DAVIS, DEMARIO – QUESTIONABLE (stigmata)
John Elway continues to ensure his status as the best QB by being the worst executive in Broncos history.
John Elway’s GM decisionmaking is conclusive proof that playing football causes CTE.
THIS CASE KEENUM I CALL HIM “CALIFORNIA” BECAUSE HE IS GETTING OVERRUN BY BROWNS WHO ARE MURDERERS AND RAPISTS AND SOME OF WHOM, I ASSUME, ARE FINE PEOPLE.
“Thanks to the Make-A-Wish Foundation, this next play will be run by Timmy Johnson, a thirty year old Jared Goff fan from Los Angeles, who really wanted to make one play as the Rams’ quarterback before ALS completely wrecks his sense of balance and coordination…oooh, that’s rough for Timmy, as it looks like the disease has taken over his movem- wait, I’m being told that Timmy ran his play during practice last week, and that what we just saw was Jared Goff making a really stupid play. Well, that’s good news, as I really didn’t wanna keep making fun of poor Timmy and his condition. Of course, ALS is incurable and Timmy will be dead soon, but to be clear, that bit of graceless failure was perpetrated by Jared Goff and not a diseased invalid. Booger, your thoughts?”
Riveting story. I laughed. I cried. I came.
As long as you came.
back in my day, Buccaneers shot the ravens.
/ties onion to belt
Fuck Hue, Joboo, I do it myself.
https://twitter.com/BleacherReport/status/1074475540612997120?s=20
You know what’s more effective around loose balls? Nick Foles’s hog.
Do we…light that on fire?
–Jeff Sessions
Not topping this one. Moving on…
The Bowlen family isn’t as confused as the Bronco defense.
Or you know, the Broncos offense. I may have CTE.
Another victim the NFL is trying to silence.
No one dances more embarrassingly than Captain Dingleberry
It was an itsy bitsy teenie weenie purple case of instant C-T-E
This rules.
Now these are the LA Rams I grew up with.
Joe Flacco’s wife feels tingly all of a sudden
“She showed us her tits!!!”
These guys do the YMCA like Christian Hackenburg throws passes
unintended Village People/YMCA double shot joke
Disturbed minds and all
The non-union replacements for the Village People really need to work on their choreography.
I guess the tree doesn’t fall in the forest
I assume they think the season is over and are cheering to not have to endure any more pain
It’s shocking how few of them are giving the double middle fingers salute.
“THESE JETS FANS I CALL THE IRAQI AIR FORCE BECAUSE THEY’RE FULL OF SOUND AND FURY BUT DO FUCK-ALL WHEN IT COUNTS!”