Gazing Into Balls’ Crystal Balls – Week 15

This is my weekly outlook as to who will make the playoffs,  who won’t,  who will win,  and who won’t.

As promised,  I’m keeping track of what I say week to week so you can call me out on any bullshit you may see. At the end of the season,  I’ll recap and highlight in green any predictions I got right.

If any.

Without further ado, TO THE STANDINGS!

AFC

So, big surprises this week,  huh?

Who would have thought that New England would lose two games in a row twice in a season? That shit never used to happen!

And then San Diego goes into Kansas City, puts their large black balls on the table, and ends up taking the game with a two point conversion at the finish?

Classic stuff. 

The dogshit pile of contenders got a little smaller as the Bengals were officially while the  Browns and Dolphins are realistically eliminated from the playoffs.  That leaves Baltimore,  Indianapolis,  and Tennessee as the only teams available to overtake Pittsburgh for either the division or the Wild Card. 

I now DO NOT see Baltimore overtaking the Steelers for the AFC North although that won’t mean much for both teams in the big scheme of things.  The two teams will probably lose this week and then win on the last week.  That leaves the Steelers in as the division champ. 

A Baltimore victory against the Chargers,  of course,  would obviously change that, but the Chargers are still trying to get the #1 overall seed, so they still have incentive to play hard. 

Also, Harbaugh proved to be the only sane member of the Harbaugh coaching clan as he officially decided to go with hot sauce over mayo.

No,  that’s not racist. Hot sauce is red and typically associated with Mexicans. 

Here is how I see them finishing this week:

1. Kansas City
2. New England
3. Houston
4. Pittsburgh
5. San Diego
6. Baltimore

Yes,  that’s New England in the #2 spot and not Houston.  After watching this week’s games,  I’m not sure the Texans beat Philly next week. 

Here is the comparison to previous weeks:

AFC Playoffs

The matchups have changed again,  but the results will be the same.  No one is getting in the way of a New England-Kansas City AFC Championship. 

NFC

The Cowboys were due for a bedshitting. And Oh My what a Taco Bell Diarrhea bedshitting it was! Shut OUT on the road against the Colts. Although they still have the inside track for the NFC East crown, the Eagles are hot and coming at them!

No,  that’s not the tag line for Debbie Does Dallas,  but it could have been. 

The Seahawks are solidly in the #5 spot even though they themselves shat their own day-glo green beds against San Francisco. It’s obvious they overlooked the 49ers and that cost them.  The Chiefs game at home this week will tell a lot about the Seahawks’ chances to make some noise in the playoffs this year.

Meanwhile, the Rams’ second straight loss means the Saints are basically assured the #1 seed. The race for the last Wild Card spot is tightening up as the Eagles, Washington,  and Vikings all won. The Packers are done for the year and, for all intents and purposes, so are the Panthers. 

I’m still putting the Eagles in and the Vikings and Potato Skins out. I think the Eagles will win out and the Bears will beat the Vikings on the last weekend of the regular season.

I also maintain that the fact that the Eagles are the defending Super Bowl champs counts for something and with Super Bowl MVP Nick Foles back at the QB spot, there may yet be a repeat in the cards…

Here is how I see them finishing this week:

1. Saints
2. Rams
3. Bears
4. Cowboys
5. Seahawks
6. Eagles

Here is the comparison to previous weeks:

NFC Playoffs

I’ve now changed the matchups yet again. I think the Cowboys,  Bears,  and Rams  make too many mistakes at critical times. I reserve the right to add the Seahawks to this list pending the outcome of the Chiefs game. That really only leaves Philly and the Saints as veteran teams that can go all the way. 

I still say that the NFC Championship will be the real Super Bowl as the winner will handle New England in The Asshole.

Superb Owl

Saints beat New England.

***

One more thing: José Mourinho has been fired as Manchester United’s coach! 

Couldn’t happen to a nicer fella even though the timing is extremely odd. 

Are the Reds the new Browns?