Your “Guess Which Games Count, Ha, Ha, Ha” Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

Let’s dig in right away shall we? I’m running late.

TO THE GAMES!

Bengalis/Brownies:

Cincy is without both wr’s Green and Boyd so if you’ve got notion to go in motion with Mixon, follow it through. Also, Cleveland have dramatically increased their Chubb usage (a bit too late, but whatever) so he’s a lovely play given that he tore the Bengalis a few new holes last time they played.

Buckos/Boys:

Go Tampa Bay! That’s probably the only time I’ve uttered those three words. Huh…

Vikes/Leonidas:

Striking a victory for fake history, I’m betting that Leif and his Lucky Bunch push the Maned Ones down the Well of Lost Seasons.

Giant Putzes/Horsemen:

Indy’s sackage percentages have gone through the roof lately and look, over there-it’s a wobbly old guy that has no lateral movement whatsoever! It was nice knowing Eli.*

*sentiment valid from 2007-2011 only

Crying Jags/No Porpoise:

I’m supposed to comment on this game? I’m going to have my lawyer pore over the details in my non-existent contract.

Overdue Bills/Rules Molesters:

It’s about time that we get to revel in the end of the line for Brady. Perhaps a heavy dose of Jerry Hughes and Company can hasten that inevitability? Asking for a friend, er, the universe.

Cheesemongers/Canceled Flights:

Winners get pizza, losers get mocked until Homer’s throat is sore.

Redundancies/SB Hangovers:

Not only do I not care about this game, I… Actually, I’ll just leave it at that.

The Undefensibles/Newton’s Void:

So much to not choose from here…

Good luck to those that are still fantasizing.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
391 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
The Maestro

DID YOU KNOW THAT JULIAN EDELMAN PLAYED QUARTERBACK IN COLLEGE

Senor Weaselo

Goodness, next they’ll say something outlandish like Jimmy Graham playing basketball!

tomsellecksmoustache

Nice to see Marvin is playing to not get shut out rather than to win.

WCS

That’s worth another two-year extension in Mike Brown’s eyes.

King Hippo

JEWKAH WOO!!!!

King Hippo

will NAWT stand

Spur

Cowboys are going to fuck up this game.

King Hippo

Run Zeke from the 2? THAT’S WHAT THE GLOBALIST CUCKS WANT!

Spur

comment image

King Hippo

in full PPR, Ertz has to be a Top 5 player

Gratliff

ALSHON

The Maestro

Hue Jackson has gone from being merely the foreman of the Factory of Sadness to majority shareholder and Chair of the Board.

Redshirt

Oh my God, we’re worse than the Browns.

King Hippo

and not even a close contest

ArmedandHammered

The handshakes after the game will be interesting.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Mayfield should seek him out for a Nelson Muntz greeting.

tomsellecksmoustache

That’s no longer a shameful thing. If their two wins on the year came against just the Bengals then you would be right to throw yourself off of a bridge.

King Hippo

Weaselo – I was left with the same desperation sub – Breida. Watch him go out after 3 touches.

ArmedandHammered

So it looks like Hue is some sort of Typhoid Mary for the NFL. He infects every franchise he works for with incompetence and sadness, can’t forget the sadness.

King Hippo

drowning sorrows with the 2 oxy I been saving, plus a bowl of Kashi cereal

Gratliff

The oxys probably taste closer to food

King Hippo

the cinnamon varietal ain’t bad

/also NAWT a cruncher so dunno if oxy’s are as delicious as nutritious

Gratliff

In my mind, every pill popper is Gary Oldman in the Professional.
comment image

King Hippo

Oh, I can saves up spit and swallow ’em dry. VETERAN MOVE!

litre_cola

All about balance my internet friend.

Brick Meathook

comment image

Spur

Zeke got lucky

Spur

Big Pick Nick

Spur

Broke his arm for that Tampa player

Gratliff

Guh Part Deux

King Hippo

and with that Ryan bomb, I am officially ded in money league. Ertz’ checkdowns are saving me in DFO

Spur

comment image

Gratliff

That was a weird ass fumble sequence in Philly

Spur
King Hippo

of course, my money league opponent had the SMRTS to sit Dreamboat and Gronk. I started Edelman (of course, the alternative was Tate who has sucked harder).

Brick Meathook

comment image

herodotus450

Well Mr. Brickhook, some gorillas, like people, are just jerks

Brick Meathook

Those guys had it comin’ to ’em

Game Time Decision

Brady turn over. Right through Gronk s hands

King Hippo

my money league side may not hit 60

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

THIS GUY JEFF DRISKEL I CALL HIM GETTING SENTENCED FOR METH BECAUSE EVERYTHING ENDS IN A THREE AND OUT

Horatio Cornblower

Sam Darnold looks like the special kid at the grocery store who is really interested in whether you want paper or plastic.

King Hippo

Touch of Downs!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I was wondering what they meant when scouts said he had a little something extra.

King Hippo

oh FUCK that’s good

Spur

“I brought my own bags”

Mr. Ayo

Legohead

Gratliff

Not a single Lion jumped for the ball. Holy shit that was terrible hail mary coverage.

Spur

comment image

Game Time Decision

Vikes with the end of half Hail Mary. Maybe cover everybody you silly LioUns

Senor Weaselo

I LIKE THAT!

Spur

DAK IT!

rockingdog

that was cool!

Mr. Ayo

lol DET

King Hippo

motherfucker

Spur

comment image

Mr. Ayo

Gurley man is OUT.

Senor Weaselo

Fuuuuuuck. Well, Hippo wins the DFO League.

King Hippo

I am soooooooooo on tilt now.

Romonobyl

Are we using replacement officials? I never heard about a strike.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Neither did the NFL with regard to KHunt.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s not a penalty either, although in fairness when I saw it at game speed I thought it was.

Spur

Woods used his shoulder.

King Hippo

to his SIDE

Petronel

WOW dude got lit up.

King Hippo

goddamnit zebras

rockingdog

what wrong with Thielen and the vikings?
guys? hey you guys!!!!!!

Senor Weaselo

The Redbox Bowl? Redbox is still a thing?

Romonobyl

Yes, according to the wife.

Romonobyl

That’s roughing the passer? Was he wearing a Tom Brady mask or what?

Horatio Cornblower

That roughing the passer call is some BS.

Gratliff

Refs are extra useless today

King Hippo

you can give up 3, but NO MOAR you fucking bastards

Horatio Cornblower

The officials say otherwise.

Gratliff

Have they been doing these fucking Picture in picture commercials during 2 minute drills all season? This is fucking insanity.

Brick Meathook

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

Pictured: The GOP linking it’s future to Trump.

Romonobyl

I guess they really do like peanuts.

King Hippo

Bilbo done tossed a pickerception.

Spur

he can’t see over his lineman

Game Time Decision

The visor with a winter jacket is an interesting attire choice

ArmedandHammered

Heinickie back, must have put him up on the lift and found nothing wrong.

Horatio Cornblower

Quick oil change was all he needed.

Spur

comment image

Spur

Watson with the walk in.

Gratliff

If the refs were allowed to score TDs, he wouldn’t have had to

Spur

comment image

Game Time Decision

Lion vs vikes or Bills vs P*ts. Damn my viewing options suck.