Your Sunday Night NFL Football Open Thread

The thing that they never talk about when they talk about the homeless from what I can remember, is the boredom. When you’re not begging in one spot you’re looking for another and time slows to a crawl. If you get lucky and somebody throws a ten bill at you, you can wallow for a while behind the booze store, sleep for another while, wake up and go back at it again. Things gotta change.

It was never gonna be this way. I had Tanya and little Summer and I couldn’t be happier. Sure, Summer wasn’t mine and she didn’t know that but that made no difference to me. She loved me and I loved her. I met her mom on the bus-she was headed to the motel where she worked cleaning rooms and I was at a construction site nearby. Weird how some folks just click sometimes…

We moved in after a few of what people would call ‘dates’. An ice cream here, a trip to the zoo there-I think we both did the math in our heads and realized one rent was way better than two. Those six months before I wrecked my back were the best of my life.

No money coming in from me meant that I was on my way out. That’s how it happens sometimes. I got a bit better, sleeping in bushes in parks and working light labor jobs for $5 an hour. Things finally started turning around when I met Mr. Turner. He spotted me outside that Lowe’s place and asked if I was good with sod. “Sure”, I said. I figured my back was strong enough to handle whatever he had in mind.

The fancy place we ended up at was outside of town at a huge estate. He has me doing work right at the edge of the property that is next to a forest. A good man Mr. Turner is. It’s been four days now and I’ve got a bit of money in these old jeans and am giving serious thought to giving Tanya a call. I shared this with the boss and he even offered to drive me over! Things are finally turning around. There he is now. I’ll just lay these last few pieces of sod to show him how hard I’m working. He’s the kind of guy that doesn’t take offense if you turn your back to him while on task…

TO THE GAME!

Chiefs/Seahawks:

Should be good. You should indulge your eyebulbs.

Let’s fling verbal poop at each other.

 

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Senor Weaselo

Those of you on the East Coast, if you’re still alive, you have survived the Little Drummer Boy Challenge. Seven more minutes, Central Time Zone!

WCS

Not so lucky. Definitely part of my Air of Grievances.

rockingdog

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Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

Mahomes-y and R-Dubs gonna trade shirts like European Lesser Footy socialists!

rockingdog

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Dunstan

Can it really be true that the Cleveland Browns might end up with a winning season?

blaxabbath

Browns 2020

Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

GREAT fucking kick. But nobody got far enough downfield

Col. Duke LaCross

That’s where they dropped the ball on that rule change, they should’ve pushed the returning team back to the fifty, but kept the ten yard rule. Would’ve made things a lot more interesting.

Dolph Ucker

And there it is…

Dolph Ucker

Andy Reid clock management is legendary shit, yes?

King Hippo

wasted a full minute and the 2-minute warning

rockingdog

I scored 132 points in fantasy football today and LOST by 20points!!!
bahahahaha…..shit.

Wilson + Mahomes are BALLLLLING OUT! this game is banananananas

litre_cola

Day drunk made me not read that. Hope there were dead hobos.

Dolph Ucker

“The Olympics of Talent”

Dunstan

“By which I mean that it’s a corrupt enterprise designed to enrich the figurehead leader. Meaning me.” — Simon Cowell

King Hippo

my wealth is being managed by hope Daddy dies while he’s still on the firm’s life insurance policy, kids!

Dunstan

Me when the market goes up: “Excellent. It’s like I had a second job this month! I should go reward myself with frivolous expenditures!”

Me this month: “I don’t need to look at my account statement. I’m investing for the long term. Doesn’t matter what happens this… oh god oh man oh god oh man….”

Brick Meathook

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Dunstan

Good to see Drew Magary back in action

Brick Meathook

I’m still curious what happened to that guy, that no one will talk about it. My guess is autoerotic asphyxiation.

Mr. Ayo

No doubt he’ll write about it. LOOKIT ME!! POOR ME!!

Brick Meathook

I had to google “autoerotic asphyxiation” to make sure I spelled it right, and I learned that someone who does that is called a “gasper”

Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised

Discussing beer with Peter King gave him a stroke.

King Hippo

kick the FG now

Senor Weaselo

Evening lizard people. I just got a call and finally get to play my first Midnight Mass tomorrow.

King Hippo

that’s awesome!

Mr. Ayo

I’m an idiot.

King Hippo

There has indeed been some good QB play in this match.

Mr. Ayo

BALDWIN!!!

Mr. Ayo

LOCKETT!!

Dunstan

That really was a hell of a throw. I get irritated with announcers constantly praising the QBs, but, damn.

Dolph Ucker

Seahawks ought to buy them refs a nice fruit basket.

King Hippo

make one stop, you fuckheads?

King Hippo

they just can’t tackle

Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

I wonder how many times West is confused for another Charcandrick ,, smh

Dunstan

Pete Carroll very emphatic with the refs there. JET FUEL CAN’T MELT STEEL!

King Hippo

just go to the website!!

King Hippo

I love a non-Monday Monday

King Hippo

Jesus Christ, Chefs

King Hippo

gotta hold ’em to a drop kick here

King Hippo

Nice play by Two Arms

WCS

Hello. The Steelers cannot inevitably lose the Patriots in the playoffs now. I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad one.

King Hippo

Dropped an absolute dime, but Tyreek ded

King Hippo

4-down territory now

King Hippo

That anti-Christ fella sure can run

Dunstan

Al: “You know what I’m thinking about?”

I was trying to figure out if it was “scotch” or “the point spread”

King Hippo

YES

Dunstan

The whole thing came close to “are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

And now I can’t stop thinking about Al & Cris as Pinky and The Brain (not in that order)

Mr. Ayo

BALDWIN!

King Hippo

JEEBUS WEPT at that tackling

Mr. Ayo

Dammit Seabass. Get your shit together.

rockingdog
King Hippo

Make love to sleepy-time lady? OK! – SeaBass

herodotus450

MappleThorpe Leafs playing “Sweet Caroline” in their arena; as if we (or at least me and Scotchy) needed any more reason to look down on them.

Brick Meathook

I think it’s marvelous that FIOS hired that retard kid to be in their TV commercial. This kind of inclusiveness is very heartwarming.

King Hippo

You get a Peanut Punch, and you get a Peanut Punch…