Your “Playing in a Winter Wonderland” AFC Playoff Game Open Thread

They (people) are saying as of the morning time that the snow’s a’falling and will taper off during the afternoon. WHO WILL THIS FAVOR? HOW? WHY? I MUST KNOW! WILL THERE BE SLUSH? WILL SOMEONE THAT DOES’NT USUALLY WEAR GLOVES BE WEARING GLOVES?

Sorry for the rampant capitalization folks-I was just preparing you for the most important screeching queries the pre-gamers will be filling air-time with. That said, ‘snow football’ is a precious treat that doesn’t come along nearly as often as it should. Anyone remember that game where no one could see the sideline or the yard markers? I do, sorta. I recall that there were two teams involved and that one of them beat the other. God, memories… [sighs]

TO THE GAME!

Young Horsies/Old Native Americans:

As far as injuries are concerned wr Sammy Watkins is expected to parka up but safety Malik Hooker (on the hook to help tamp down the influence of Tyreek) is questionable.

The delightful A. Schefter has pointed out-as have many others-that the Colts have won as many playoff tilts at Arrowhead as have the Chiefs themselves. So there might be something to my theory that the stadium was built on an old Indian’s* Pet Cemetery Scorned Woman Wrongfully-Executed Man Burial Ground. Subscribe to my blog if you want to learn more.

I am a bit concerned that if one combines the above with Andy Reid’s playoff adventures/negative clock juju, the Chiefs might have too much going against them. The Colts have scored TD’s on their first two drives in each of their last two games but then tend to settle into the running game and let the D do the lifting the rest of the game. You and I [winks] both know that a two-score lead is nothing to a fella that tossed 50 six-pointers this past regular season. The Colts OC Nick Sirianni (why is this guy not more prominently mentioned these days?) says that his #1 job is to put up points today and he’ll most likely have to do a 40-spot ’cause them KC’ers average 35 overall.

Is the laundry folded? Okay, now you can watch the game.

*forgive the outdated nomenclature but damnit, I needed it in order to make the joke work

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Spur

That field all ready looks like shit

Col. Duke LaCross

This is glorious.

Unsurprised

Mission Accomplished
— Dan Snyder

King Hippo

Think this Damien Williams is better than that dusty old KHunt ever was.

Redshirt

NBC playing “Applebees” commercial with the song “Lets Get it On” while having long shots of Andy Reid… too easy.

herodotus450

Looked like somebody threw a snowball and almost hit the punter on that one.

Redshirt

What would that be? Dead ball, redo? Palpably Unfair Act?

King Hippo

and is it subject to review?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Three nigh pickerceptions. HODOR! does not look too comfy out there, in contrast to the young’un.

Spur

just wait till late 3rd Quarter. Then we’ll know if Reid will happen.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“OH FUCK LIN ELLIOTT’S GONNA MISS ANOTHER ONE”

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
King Hippo

there was a GLEAM, men

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

This one cost me money in 8th grade. All four of my divisional picks lost, fuck.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRpJIclqEDQ

fleshwound_NPG

fortunately marty does not remember any of these games

WCS

I see Andy’s already well on the path for the crushing second half collapse.

fleshwound_NPG

which is why the clots aren’t even bothering right now

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Blair Walsh the pilot

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Calling my shot: Colts turnover coming up.

Mr. Ayo

I was just thinking the same.

WCS

Almost. Twice, even!

Mr. Ayo

Almost thrice! They did everything but turn it over.

WCS

Thrice!

Spur

turnovers? where? – Andy Reid

Redshirt

Luck did his best to make you a prophet that last series.

King Hippo

I did that rare GAMBLOR thing where I bet Villareal to score as a hedge (they tied it) and then when Getafe got up to +1199, I tossed another $25 on them.

Then Villareal had the decency to miss their injury time penno.

chuh fucking chuh!

Spur

Colts aren’t allowed to use a Horse Collar? Seems wrong.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Andy Reid coming out of a bye is legitimately terrifying.

Spur

Andy Reid coming at as bi. Equally terrifying.

King Hippo

I mean, he can’t see YOUR genitals during the sex act, either. Why not?

King Hippo

I completely forgot about that stat when making my bet. WOO!!!

Gatoraids

Andy coming into a buffet you own is terrifying

Redshirt

Colts are in Pre-Season form.

rockingdog

ohhh man

Spur

NOW Sammy Watkins decides to play a meaningful game.

Mr. Ayo

That looked easy.

King Hippo

looked it, was it

herodotus450

Was one of Mahomies’ cadences “Coach O”?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

whadda wit this snow buwlshit. coach o need to get da fuck outta here

fleshwound_NPG

humps completely have forgotten football

Spur

There is something I don’t like about Kelce.

hippofant

I suspect he’s not that fun-loving a guy when things aren’t going well. Dunno why. Just gives me that vibe.

Spur

Exactly.

King Hippo

yeah, Mahomes-y looks fine in the elements

herodotus450

Fifty touchdowns for Mahomies? Did someone forget to tell him he’s not in the Big12 anymore?

King Hippo

better play intramurals, brother!!

Gatoraids

Haven’t used a timeout yet that some discipline Reid

...
Unsurprised

Nailed it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ugh, is this going to be one of those games where the Chiefs’ opponents forget how to do basic things like catch the goddamned ball?

King Hippo

let’s hope so, good #HAILGAMBLOR day so far.

Spur

Snowflake blindness, the silent killer.

herodotus450

Snowflakes triggering blindness smh

litre_cola

One of my friends just texted me, he is a Clots fan. “Snow os a huge advantage for us”
Umm you guys olay indoors.

hippofant

Indoors is the proper pace to moisturize and cleanse though. In the mornings or night before you sleep.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
fleshwound_NPG

there’s the ebron we know

Spur

Nice block by #56. O-Line trucking

fleshwound_NPG

FSU does the stupid chop, Duke wins on a last-second 3-pointer 20 minutes ago

Chiefs do the stupid chop….

Redshirt

I have to go with the Boy Horses. I’ve marched on the Colts field (my final position of my last show in High School was the center of the midfield logo), and my friend’s psycho bitch of a girlfriend is from Kansas.

Also, if you think about it, the name Chiefs is an accepted version of R*d*k*ns.

rockingdog

found a cool!
The Bauhaus is celebrating 100 yrs and theres gonna be some sort of celebration! I’ve never been to Germany…..
Sounds like a good excuse to check out the country and some cool design stuff……

https://www.bauhaus100.com/

Alright……ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALLLLL!!!!!!!!!!

King Hippo
Spur

Bring back Otto Man!

Redshirt

That’s what I loved about The Men Who Built America mini-docu-series. Vanderbilt, Rockerfeller, Carnegie, Morgan and even Edison came off as flawed people, but Ford came off as a bold visionary.

Spur

Best thing about the snow it keeps the flies away from the ribs on the KC sideline.

fleshwound_NPG

best case scenario: chiefs/pats lose, nfl has to decide if a franchise is or isn’t worth hosting an afc title game*

*refs will do their best tomorrow in NE

Redshirt

Local paper complained that Bengals aren’t getting someone from the Andy Reid coaching tree. That makes me feel better about their pick.

fleshwound_NPG

that tree has been far better than its root lately

Spur

i really want the chiefs to win but then i’ll have to hear about Brady winning on the road next week.

King Hippo

worry nae, Chefs would beat NE easily in their house.

Spur

but Reid????

King Hippo

Reid is breaking his narrative. He’s got his QB now.

Mr. Ayo

You’ve apparently forgotten the timeline.

Gratliff

Me: Andy Reid is an amazing head coach. He’s the best coach in Philadelphia Eagles history, and led through a golden era of unmatched success in franchise history (pending current season results). When my cousin got very ill, Andy happened to be in the hospital one day while he was there and surprised him in his room, being a shining moment in a shitty situation. It’s a moment my family will always remember.

Also me: comment image

Unsurprised

I’ll allow it.

Spur

Folks

litre_cola

So it wasn’t nefarious websites that killed my laptop, was the power connection. If I had bet on that I would have lost a lot of money.

Redshirt

Based on the updated Over/Under, snow is worth 2.5 points.

fleshwound_NPG

in THIS economy?

...

The Cody Parkey Challenge is going exactly as well as you thought it would.

https://twitter.com/ESPNMichele/status/1084183263726522368

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This game could finish with a score of 87-81 in triple overtime and it would still be a distant second to this video.

...

That’s the official DFO video.

Unsurprised

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Unsurprised
Redshirt

Snowing outside. Snowing at the Playoff Game. You bet I’m eating a pint of ice cream straight from the container.

Unsurprised

ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

(Only a pint, eh?)

Redshirt

I have a weakness for Mint Cookies n’ Cream. Its the love child of my two favorite flavors.

Unsurprised

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Spur

Who got more trim that night Double J or Post?

Unsurprised

It depends. Post didn’t have to pay for what he got.

Mr. Ayo

7 minutes between plays in a basketball game?

And another timeout.

Mr. Ayo

And another. Plus another review of the clock?

This is maddening.

Unsurprised

Nuts. I was hoping this idiot would’ve eaten shit instead of just made a perfectly normal and inept kick everyone would make.

https://twitter.com/MatthewColler/status/1084184955628994561

...

There is one where a guy ends up on his ass but I’d have to go find it.

Unsurprised

I’m sure there is. There always are. But this was RTed by Drew, so I feel defrauded.

Gratliff

Never forget that Andy once named an O-line coach his defensive coordinatorcomment image

Gratliff

comment image

rockingdog

HODOR ready to SMASH!!!!!!!
YEA!!!!!
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fleshwound_NPG

besides the possible impending yearly playoff andy reid fail (now with 100% more snow!) this is easily the funniest thing you’re gonna see today:

https://twitter.com/serenjty/status/1083900464784134144

Gratliff

Nice tits. Sorry, was something else going on there?

Unsurprised

BIG tits. HUGE.

ballsofsteelandfury

Is there really something that can track the eyes? I’d love to try that and see how I focus completely on the goodies.

Unsurprised

Yes. That’s how some quadriplegics operate computers and other input devices.

Gratliff

They’re developing digital menus that can track your eye movements so they can further datamine your fucking soul and figure out how to wring more money from your bones.

ballsofsteelandfury

Tell me more!

– A. REID

Unsurprised

mmmmmm. Marrow.

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