Your “Playing in a Winter Wonderland” AFC Playoff Game Open Thread

They (people) are saying as of the morning time that the snow’s a’falling and will taper off during the afternoon. WHO WILL THIS FAVOR? HOW? WHY? I MUST KNOW! WILL THERE BE SLUSH? WILL SOMEONE THAT DOES’NT USUALLY WEAR GLOVES BE WEARING GLOVES?

Sorry for the rampant capitalization folks-I was just preparing you for the most important screeching queries the pre-gamers will be filling air-time with. That said, ‘snow football’ is a precious treat that doesn’t come along nearly as often as it should. Anyone remember that game where no one could see the sideline or the yard markers? I do, sorta. I recall that there were two teams involved and that one of them beat the other. God, memories… [sighs]

TO THE GAME!

Young Horsies/Old Native Americans:

As far as injuries are concerned wr Sammy Watkins is expected to parka up but safety Malik Hooker (on the hook to help tamp down the influence of Tyreek) is questionable.

The delightful A. Schefter has pointed out-as have many others-that the Colts have won as many playoff tilts at Arrowhead as have the Chiefs themselves. So there might be something to my theory that the stadium was built on an old Indian’s* Pet Cemetery Scorned Woman Wrongfully-Executed Man Burial Ground. Subscribe to my blog if you want to learn more.

I am a bit concerned that if one combines the above with Andy Reid’s playoff adventures/negative clock juju, the Chiefs might have too much going against them. The Colts have scored TD’s on their first two drives in each of their last two games but then tend to settle into the running game and let the D do the lifting the rest of the game. You and I [winks] both know that a two-score lead is nothing to a fella that tossed 50 six-pointers this past regular season. The Colts OC Nick Sirianni (why is this guy not more prominently mentioned these days?) says that his #1 job is to put up points today and he’ll most likely have to do a 40-spot ’cause them KC’ers average 35 overall.

Is the laundry folded? Okay, now you can watch the game.

*forgive the outdated nomenclature but damnit, I needed it in order to make the joke work

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is that why eating ass is fashionable now?

Horatio Cornblower

Now!?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There we go!!

Brocky

FUCK YOU MONKEY BUSINESS!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I don’t hate the Colts, but I still fucking hate that fucker.

Horatio Cornblower

Battleship Manning is meeting the Bismarck as we speak.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

The Colts end up a game short of another banner.comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

2018 AFC SEMI-FINALIST

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Only the worst people rail against participation trophies and then demand them.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

#theConfederacy

Horatio Cornblower

Can’t wait for the “1-1” T-shirts.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Why isn’t there (more) traffic for a home playoff game in LA?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

(I jinxed myself)

Horatio Cornblower

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This game went exactly how I predicted!

*Game did not go how I predicted.

Game Time Decision

Haha. Couldn’t even get the play off

Redshirt

HODOR just wanted to go home.

Senor Weaselo

HOMEDOR.

King Hippo

CATCH YOUR GARBAGE DOWN!!

/now am mad

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Wow.

Redshirt

Michaels: (on mic) “First time #he’s been target tonight.” (off mic) “He just showed the world why.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Garbage TD to Ebron or Colts RB would help me in my insanity playoff fantasy thing

Horatio Cornblower

Seems like a good time to grab a shower, put on my lucky Emmitt Smiff jersey, (Dallas literally never wins when I wear it), and load up on some high-octane Lagunitas so that I don’t feel the pain when LA runs train on the Cowboys tonight.

See ya in a bit!

Recovery Whiskey
Recovery Whiskey

Dallas literally never wins either way. But if they beat LA I won’t mind

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Jerrah going to unveal his tomahawk missiles installed in his new yacht during the game yeeehaw

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Emmitt Smiff is in Vegas signing autographs this weekend, but I had to get out of there before I could see what havoc he would wreak on the written word

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Game blouses

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

SNOWBALLS!!!!!

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:

[snail newsroom]
“Another slow news day, fellas?”
*newsroom erupts into laughter*
{snails eventually high-5}

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I came home and found a snail on my front porch, so I picked it up and tossed it out in the yard.

6 weeks later I came home and the same snail was on my front porch. “What the fuck was up with that?” the snail queried me, in perfect British accented English.

Horatio Cornblower

Awfully nice of the Colts’ defender to pull Williams into the end zone after stopping him on the 2.

Senor Weaselo

Welp, Hippo’s pissed.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Garbage time TD upcoming.

King Hippo

there is still some garbage time! Plus, the bulk of the bet was still Chefs -3.5

WCS

It’s just a little slimy! It’s still good, it’s still good!

Recovery Whiskey
Recovery Whiskey

New England over-under against KC. 40?

King Hippo

center it, kick the FG at 2:00

Horatio Cornblower

Or, you know, not.

Sharkbait

Holy damn. Bad penalty is bad.

WCS

That was New England-esque.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait…did he not get a hand on that punt? I could have sworn he made contact.

Redshirt

Kansas City….gonna…win?

Gratliff

That can’t be a fucking penalty.

WCS

That was awful.

King Hippo

the fuck was that??

WCS

That’s So Andy!

King Hippo

Hold My Beer! – Hobo Reich

King Hippo

Ideal margin is ideal.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

No backdoor cover please!

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Yeah!!!!

King Hippo

hee hee, why I goosed the spread down to 3.5 (or 4.5?)

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

At least it’s snowing again, which is the only reason I turned this game on in the first place

King Hippo

they tried Redshirt’s onside kick!

Redshirt

Not on purpose, from what it looks.

tundrajim
tundrajim

We’re going to find out that Vinatieri was playing with two sprained ankles, an injured clavicle, and suffered three heart attacks during the game.

King Hippo

I call that Tuesday – Andy R., Kansas City, MO

Brocky

How the fuck does andy Reid have 3 time outs this late in the fourth quarter?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Was that Robert E Lee who missed that PAT?

WCS

That rhymes!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

i’m a poet and didn’t know it

King Hippo

the previewer I have pimped all season (That’s Good Sports’ Brandon Perna) mentioned the fuckety misses Old Man Vinateri has had this season (leading up to this game)

herodotus450
herodotus450

I haven’t seen a Reich let down by an Italian like this since 1943

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We’ve secretly replaced Adam Vinatieri with a ninety year-old man…no, just kidding, we didn’t.

Senor Weaselo

Adam Vinatieri’s job is to fuck the Colts over with kicks, right?

Horatio Cornblower

Looks like Father Time has caught up with Vinatieri.

King Hippo

WOMP WOMP redux

WCS

SHANK’LOR

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

the doink looms large

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

lol

Redshirt

Colts must’ve entered the Game Genie code for 5 Quarters before they started the game.

WCS

HOLD ONTO YOUR BUTTS

King Hippo

let’s go FG!!

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