Your “That’s a Face Only a Mother Could Love” NFC Playoff Open Thread

Check out the smashed-into-the-windshield-several-times visage of Blake Jarwin. The toothfull grin that indicates that the keys shaken by the photographer please him. The too-small, beady eyes that have no doubt silently observed more than one grandmother undressing at bedtime. The throat devoid of an Adam’s Apple. The sloughing forehead that indicates him thinking, “I hate that Mr. Purrsident Trump! He ain’t bombed a single Guata-mawcallit Caravan yet, like’n he promised!”. Why do I call attention to him? He’s got himself the ‘Questionable’ status after not practicing all week. He showed what a weapon he could be after scoring three TD’s vs. the Giants and the Evangelicals are a bit worried because you know how much they love their ‘Revelations’. [Snickers to self-also, Milky Way’s to self]

TO THE GAME!

Wr Cole Beasley is in the same boat injury-wise but as everyone’s cliche-dar goes off, yeah, he’s going to ‘gut it out’ like the hero puppy he is. “Gut it out” also just happens to be the title of my evisceration-centric autobiography.

Worrying Trend: In their last four games DAK!’s QBR rating has been 4th best in the league. Goff? Before the bye week he was ranked 4th-in the last 4 tilts he’s ranked 25th. Probably has something to do with Kupp’s ACL snapping and Josh Reynolds not doing nearly enough to fill the void despite single coverage.

Just Plain Silliness: The Cowboys D is being called The Hot Boyz? Way to embrace the homo-erotic undercurrent running thru your sport, fellas.

Rams Other Wideouts: They go by the name of Woods and Cooks. That’s also the name of the YouTube channel I head to when I want to watch animal-skinning vids.

Gentlemen, place your bets. You too, commentariat.

 

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PetronelMoose -The End Is Well NighMr. AyoBrettFavresColonoscopyDoktor Zymm Recent comment authors
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Moose: Binggoogleduckduckgo, give me data on estimated casualties for the British during the Crimean war.

Binggoogleduckduckgo; Here are the British MILF spanking GIFs you really wanted.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Shhhhhhhhh

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Are you hunting wabbits?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

I missed some hot takes, and i’m sorry for that, but goddamn if you aint half as good as this scallion pancake. I’ve eaten this pancake, and the day Danny is marinating in my gut with this delicious scallion pancake will be the day I’ll be a Redacted fan again. Yup, I will eat him, and maybe we’ll have an ok owner

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Scallions4LYFE

Doktor Zymm

I saw the game! I drank lots of fairly weak beer, some of which was bought for me. But I saw thw game! The Rams are good! I walked back, went to the market, got delish scallion pancackes. Y’all don’t even know

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

AGDQ ends having raised $2.395 million in 6.5 days.

WCS

Is that good?

/doesn’t know what it is

Gratliff

It’s an annual video game speed running event/telethon type thing that raises money for different organizations using straight donations, gaming incentives, and prize raffles. AGDQ in the winter for Prevent Cancer Foundation, SGDQ in the summer for Doctors Without Borders. They also pop up here and there for impromptu fundraisers for hurricane relief and such. Some of it is silly shit like 5 minute Strider runs, others are races and such, some are insane mods of games like Super Mario World, and they like to do unwatchable shit like 9 hour Final Fantasy 9 runs at 12 am. Some of the runners are like hyper serious robots, others act like they’re putting on a talk show. It’s a hugely mixed bag, but it’s very entertaining all around.

Gratliff

And, of course, everyone involved are just massive, massive, shameless nerds. comment image

Petronel

Late, late reply, but one of my favorite things about *GDQ events is watching runs of games I’ve never played or have never even heard of – sometimes the runner is so entertaining and/or informative that I’ll watch him/her in the future regardless of what the game is.

yeah right

Go ahead and double my money!

Brocky

I love reddit so much guys

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No wonder she’s the most famous weather girl in the world.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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The Cuban contingent has stepped up.
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Non-Union Mexican Equivalent
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From Dusk Til Dawn will always have a special place in my … heart.
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The champion will not take this lying down. Not that she could in this dress.
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A new player has entered the game.
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Spur
Spur

Daddario is no Lake Bell

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True.
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Spur
Spur

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Boobs so big you can see them from the back.
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Unsurprised

Maybe I should’ve started taking Aleve earlier for this … whatever this thing is. I don’t know if it’s a bruise or infection, but it doesn’t hurt as much now.

(I wish I had booze)

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This cough ain’t going away on its own, so time for some Laphroaig

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The Layover should’ve been a better movie. DD even has a sex scene in it, but it’s like once she went fully nude for that episode of True Detective she’s completely written off ever showing off the goods again.
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Christ. The resolution on that sucks.
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I guess we’re onto DaDDario
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Onto her….?
*snicker*

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Horatio Cornblower

Not all of us.

Goddamn restraining orders.

Fronkenshteen

BFC alive & well on that 4 team parlay ticket!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Woot woot

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL, we had snow and ice earlier. It has changed over to rain for the time being.
But the funny part is that the local news has crews out telling us…..that the road is wet.

LMFAO

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I mean, they’re not wrong! And it could freeze.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Five minutes into the Solo movie and I’m already indifferent to the fate of any of the characters.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It doesn’t get better.

Spur
Spur

Welp. It’s Spurs season now. I’ll cum my pants if the Lakers miss the playoffs. You’re not playing the East LeBron.

King Hippo

you’ll be back here tomorrow and next Sunday and YOU’LL FUCKING LIKE IT!

Spur
Spur

Hippo decree comment image

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Spur
Spur

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Gonna step out on the back patio and savor the sound of rending garments and gnashing teeth echoing through the neighborhood.

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Brocky

Eddie lacy?

Brocky

I’m sorry….

Who is eddie lacy?

Horatio Cornblower

Cowboys did much better than I thought they would, and they certainly deserved to lose this game, probably by more than they did.

Prescott needs to get a lot more consistent and much better at making decisions.
Cowboys need to resign Cooper at WR and hope Gallup develops into a legit second option.
Zeke needs to keep his hands to himself this offseason.
Defense needs to figure out what went wrong tonight, because they clearly could not stop a power running attack.
Defense desperately needs to ditch that ‘Hot Boyz’ nickname, with sounds like a name for a club on Fire Island.
Also need to resign Lawrence and let Lee go to a farm where he can play with all the rest of the retired MLBs.

BUT NONE OF THIS WILL MEAN A GODDAMN THING IF THEY DO NOT FIRE GARRETT INTO THE SUN AND BRING IN A NEW HEAD COACH AND COORDINATORS!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The Rams also had a great game plan.

Spur
Spur

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Gratliff

Super Mario Odyssey all the way to Darker Side of the Moon in 3:21:12 bullshit. Super Metroid – Reverse Boss Order is this year’s finale.

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Hey ‘Boys!
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