Your “Playing in a Winter Wonderland” AFC Playoff Game Open Thread

They (people) are saying as of the morning time that the snow’s a’falling and will taper off during the afternoon. WHO WILL THIS FAVOR? HOW? WHY? I MUST KNOW! WILL THERE BE SLUSH? WILL SOMEONE THAT DOES’NT USUALLY WEAR GLOVES BE WEARING GLOVES?

Sorry for the rampant capitalization folks-I was just preparing you for the most important screeching queries the pre-gamers will be filling air-time with. That said, ‘snow football’ is a precious treat that doesn’t come along nearly as often as it should. Anyone remember that game where no one could see the sideline or the yard markers? I do, sorta. I recall that there were two teams involved and that one of them beat the other. God, memories… [sighs]

TO THE GAME!

Young Horsies/Old Native Americans:

As far as injuries are concerned wr Sammy Watkins is expected to parka up but safety Malik Hooker (on the hook to help tamp down the influence of Tyreek) is questionable.

The delightful A. Schefter has pointed out-as have many others-that the Colts have won as many playoff tilts at Arrowhead as have the Chiefs themselves. So there might be something to my theory that the stadium was built on an old Indian’s* Pet Cemetery Scorned Woman Wrongfully-Executed Man Burial Ground. Subscribe to my blog if you want to learn more.

I am a bit concerned that if one combines the above with Andy Reid’s playoff adventures/negative clock juju, the Chiefs might have too much going against them. The Colts have scored TD’s on their first two drives in each of their last two games but then tend to settle into the running game and let the D do the lifting the rest of the game. You and I [winks] both know that a two-score lead is nothing to a fella that tossed 50 six-pointers this past regular season. The Colts OC Nick Sirianni (why is this guy not more prominently mentioned these days?) says that his #1 job is to put up points today and he’ll most likely have to do a 40-spot ’cause them KC’ers average 35 overall.

Is the laundry folded? Okay, now you can watch the game.

*forgive the outdated nomenclature but damnit, I needed it in order to make the joke work

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fleshwound_NPG

IT BEGINS

Mr. Ayo

SUDDEN CHANGE

King Hippo

Frank Reich really looks like a hobo. I’m sure scotchy has noticed…

Doktor Zymm

Lots of Maryland alums look like hobos

Doktor Zymm

Hey, there’s a bar in xinyi showing the next game at 9:15 am, woo! Also, on my food tour yesterday I met an Aussie who’s a huge 49rs fan

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

At a bar in Phuket I met a 69rs fan!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Xinyi sounds like an ambiguous hooker’s name

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“He keeps yelling and making us think he’s going to snap it! Is that even legal?” – Colts defenders

King Hippo

and he’s not even saying HODOR!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I mean really you gotta give all the credit to Travis Kelce…”

King Hippo

50/50, based on teh pre-game show ,, smgdh

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Colts providing absolutely zero entertainment value here.

fleshwound_NPG

to be fair, they’re from indianapolis

Spur

agreed, i may put some pants on and watch the 2nd half from the bar.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Andrew Luck completion, take a codeine

WCS

“Amateur.”

Jim I., Indianapolis, IN

Redshirt

3rd and 7? Time for a 6 yard route!

King Hippo

hedged my bet, $50 on Humps +16.5 live at -108. Could pull a double!

Mr. Ayo

SMRT

King Hippo

also after that punt, $13 Humps ML at +1012

Spur

Is that Kareem Hunt’s mom?

Doktor Zymm

Ok, if Mahomes is broked I’m not going to mess around trying to set up a VPN on my phone so I can stream the game. Instead i’ll watch what appears to be two guys trying to teach a third, inept guy how to pole dance

hippofant

He’s still in the game.

Also there are probably ways to stream it without a VPN. Cough.

Spur

Mahomes will finish and win this game, tomorrow we find out he has a tear and out for Sunday against the Pats.
There is no God.

Mr. Ayo

This seems accurate.

litre_cola

Kinda have to agree with ya here. The brees -brady fellating shall happen!

WCS

/laughs hysterically
//devolves into continuous weeping

Senor Weaselo

So it shall be written…

Senor Weaselo

Well everything is shit again.

fleshwound_NPG

not ded.

Redshirt

(JR voice)

“Good God, King! That’s Chad Henne’s music!”

herodotus450

You can take Bernard Pollard off a team, but his spirit remains…

Senor Weaselo

That would be Tom Brady though.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Bob Sanders, the eight-game pro bowler

litre_cola

Oh oh Chef fans. Who is the backup?

rockingdog

utttt ohhhhhh Mahomies hit his kneee…..

Spur

Shit Mahomes is hurt. There goes next week for sure

Mr. Ayo

Mahomsey ded?

King Hippo

o noes

Redshirt

Intentional Grounding much?

hippofant

Damn, Kelce played that block well on that screen. A lot of players would just run ahead and get taken down by the safety.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

comment image&f=1

Doktor Zymm

What time is it in football world? I’m in Taipei and it’s 6:15 Sunday morning and I have no goddamn clue when the games are supposed to be on or if I can even watch them here

Senor Weaselo

Got yourself cheap 7-11 The Beer from the airport?

Doktor Zymm

Say what now? I’ve been distracted by all the boba tea

Doktor Zymm

Taiwanese tv is weird

herodotus450

“You mean Chinese TV.”
-Hidden speaker in your hotel room

King Hippo

Q2, 12 and change left. Chefs up 17-nil

King Hippo

I wouldn’t give it to the LSU guy that much in these conditions.

Unsurprised

Fans suck.
comment image

Redshirt

“Needs more snowplow.” – Ron Meyer

...

I kinda wish I’d have gone to see this.

litre_cola

Just turned it on. Is Luck hurt?

King Hippo

just hilariously ineffective

WCS

There’s Playoff Andy.

herodotus450

1st Quarter timeout, drink!

King Hippo

Mahomes-y is really damned good, y’all

hippofant

aLeX sMiTh mAdE ThE pRo-BoWl ThReE TiMeS

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So far, teams that beat the Texans in the playoffs are 1-3 in their following game. Seems like it’s going to become 1-4. The Texans are playoff poison.

WCS

Does a win over a team that doesn’t exist mean anything?

King Hippo

or that the 500s are just a different flavour of hot garbage, each season

Spur
fleshwound_NPG

captain smallhands checkdown ain’t the qb anymore, tho

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Ah Cris and Al going to for the “your uncle’s ‘friend’ who always comes to family events and vacations together” wardrobe.

Senor Weaselo

“The thing about the Chiefs is they hit you from so many angles.” Wasn’t that when Hunt and Hill were both on the team?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Andrew Luck off to a hot start I see

Unsurprised

Slow-mo money shot. I tried to be clever, but whatever.
comment image

Spur

smothered baby horse. Andy’s favorite.

King Hippo

man’s gotta have an appetizer sometimes

/deep wheezing

Unsurprised

What else are you going to put Arby’s horsey sauce on?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Uncle Ed used to put it on prostitute’s lab… never mind

Redshirt

Okay, so I think we can safely say the Chiefs are slightly better than the Texans.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ah, there’s that feeling of emotional numbness that I’ve come to know so well this season.

Mr. Ayo

Hippo sharing his pills?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised

What’s that from?

Spur

John Wick looks old.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Burnt out, even?

Spur

Can Mahomes build a lead not even Andy Reid can waste it? We’ll find out.

hippofant

The unstoppable force vs the immovable object.

rockingdog

SHEESH!!!!! chiefs rolling early

herodotus450

Chiefs making this look like a game of Madden on Rookie difficulty.

King Hippo

HAIL MUTHAFUCKIN’ GAMBLOR!!

Mr. Ayo

That would have been easier without all the drops.

King Hippo

GO ANDY GO!!

King Hippo

3 consecutive shitty drops

fleshwound_NPG

snow game, mandatory beef moe post:

https://twitter.com/xmasape/status/948970971809157127

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

rockingdog

those dogs ROCK!!!!!!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Gotta Czech your trunk space