Your “When Does AAFL Season Start?” Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

So, there is no news today, as the league basks in the warming glow of the positive vibes from yesterday’s thrilling matchup. Let’s take a look at some highlights:

Fuck all y’all, Rams. You let the continent down.

Oh, and do the fine folks in New Orleans – who believe that they should have been playing this game instead – have an opinion on “The Big Game”™®©?

Courtesy Low Commander

They seem over it.

Remember: It’s only 80 days until the Draft.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL: the Leafs & Canucks are regional broadcasts in Canada tonight
    • Kings at Rangers – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Nuggets at Pistons – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
    • Bucks at Nets – 7:30PM | TSN / NBATV
    • Spurs at Kings – 10:00PM | Sportsnet1 / NBATV
  • NCAA:
    • hoops:
      • Men’s
        • Louisville at Virginia Tech – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN3
        • North Carolina Central at Florida A&M – 7:00PM | ESPNU
        • Penn State at Northwestern – 8:00PM | FS1
        • Iowa State at Oklahoma – 9:00PM | ESPN2
        • West By-God Virginia at Texas Tech – 9:00PM | ESPN / TSN3
      • Women’s
        • Baylor at Texas – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • hockey:
      • Beanpot Semifinal #2 – Northeastern vs. Boston University – 8:00PM | TSN2 / nesn.com
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

The football offseason is actually [DFO]’s real time to shine, as the lack of football draws out quality writing from our stellar list of contributors. Many authors have their own genre or milieu that they enjoy exploring, and others will discover their talents going in new directions. I think the time leading up to the Hall of Fame Game in August will be some of the site’s most enjoyable reads to date. THANKS, AND KEEP WATCHING!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Your “What’s Worse – A Pattern or a Trend?” Tuesday Evening Open Thread – [DOOR FLIES OPEN]

[…] up on a balls comment from last night’s Open Thread, the Super Bowl viewership rating was a 41.1, or an average of […]

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Well I was stopped at a light this afternoon and what should drive by? A caravan of chartered coach buses carrying RAMMIT from the airport to wherever! Because they drove by slow all the other cars could see the “RAMS” signs in the door windows and they were getting flipped-off continuously. It was pretty cool.

yeah right

Saw my final best picture nominee today.
Vice.
It was really well assembled. A bit kinetic for some tastes but a well constructed film.
I can’t say I liked because I don’t like the subject.
He was brought into the light which says something but did he really need to be brought into the light?

Final verdict!

Redbox!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

He was brought into the light which says something but did he really need to be brought into the light?

No, because what difference does it make?

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

I was disturbed by how sympathetic they made him look

Redshirt

I remembered why I don’t like “Deal or No Deal”. Watching some loveable fool gamble $117.000 for a chance to turn down $176.000 and not realizing he has a 20% chance for the offer to drop to around $10,000.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The Onion had some good SB takes.
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ballsofsteelandfury

Just saw on ESPN.com that the Super Bowl had its lowest ratings in 10 years.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
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Wakezilla

Stay tuned for next year when the P*ts don’t get a million calls go their way, resulting in them not making the Superb Owl

Gratliff

Is there another AFC team that can actually win a Super Bowl?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If Brian Flores can depose them as AFC East champs, I’d consider that Coach of the Year stuff

Gratliff

All I can think of with any Pats castaway is Josh McDaniels starting 6-0 including a win over New England, and missing the playoffs at 8-8, then fired at 3-9 the next year

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

*Eli Manning perks up*

Redshirt

Good question. I would at first say KC, but they removed that doubt in the AFC Title Game.

ballsofsteelandfury

The Steelers had the talent but fucked it all up and will now lose the talent and become irrelevant.

The Ravens can possibly step up but Lamar has to improve in Year 2, not regress.

Likewise, Houston is close, but needs to take the next step.

ballsofsteelandfury

FYI, AFL season starts in March!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I made a gif
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

And another
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ballsofsteelandfury

Perfect!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I think I’d genuinely hate the NFL and owners less if they were corporations rather than individually wretched billionaires. Like Lockheed doesn’t deserve to own the Washington Football Team when it already owns everything else, but also, as shitty as it is for streamlined and consolidating war profiteering, Lockheed is still less despicable than Dan Fucking Snyder. Most teams wouldn’t even change (49ers, Seahawks, Rams) and some would be noticeably improved with the cold hand of a multinational corporation directing their operations rather than some syphilitic geezer (You know who) or wannabe gangster shitbird like Haslam or just a cheap bastard like Mike Brown.

Senor Weaselo

Which team would the Umbrella Corporation own?
/All of them, naturally

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Buccaneers

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Oh that’s just good hustle right there.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I am a genius.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Raccoon City S.T.A.R.S.

rockingdog
rockingdog

last funny:

DOCTOR: I’m afraid you have bone cancer

ME: so you might say I’m “bad to the bone”

DOCTOR: it’s terminal

ME: duh nuh nuh nuh nuh

DOCTOR:

ME:

DOCTOR: ba ba ba ba baaaad

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

If you gotta go, go with a smile.

ballsofsteelandfury

We NEED a weekly hockey post/ roundup…

Fronkenshteen

Can I do it?

ballsofsteelandfury

Please!

Fronkenshteen

I’ll email.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Obligatory

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

How did it take me 40 years to figure out hydrogen peroxide can take out blood stains? And I’m a klutz, so it’s not for a lack of opportunities to deduce it.

Now I’m trying to remember what I was using for non-white clothes. Fuck. I bet it would’ve been a lot less volatile than bleaching the fuck out of everything whenever I had to clean up blood and other body fluids.

ballsofsteelandfury

Pfft… amateur!

– Scotchy

Gratliff

Flyers win 8 straight; are only 40 points from a Wild Card

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

And to think, people were mad at him for running. He’s doing more than any Democrats who’s announced to show that billionaires don’t deserve to exist and if they don’t give away their money we’re going to take it back by force.

https://twitter.com/_waleedshahid/status/1092589787259781125

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Waleed forgot to add a 100% inheritance tax.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He’s going to take a page out of Tom Brady’s playbook and declare that he’s the underdog simply because so many people hate him.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Which I guess in politics is actually true.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

He seems to be doing that already.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Just talking about the Ducks got me all riled up about Chris Pronger again. If I was locked a in room with Pronger, Matt Cooke, and Sean Avery and had a gun with two bullets, I’d shoot Cooke and Avery and delight in spending the rest of my life watching Pronger’s concussion-addled brain torturing him from the inside.

ballsofsteelandfury

Sean Avery is the type of asshole that you’re surprised still exists because you would think at some point he would be an asshole to the wrong person and that wrong person would make him stop being an asshole (read: stop breathing)

Gratliff

Avery ended up being a decent human being outside hockey, Pronger got karma right in his fucking eye, and Matt Cooke once met Evander Kane.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s beautiful.

Gratliff

Best part was he got that MMA-style freebie ground shot because the fight technically hadn’t ended yet

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

DAMN! That was a Hell of a punch.

Gratliff

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

“Yo, I already disciplined him.”

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

God damn. That’s some good-ass hate.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Mapplethorpe Leafs padding their stats by beating up on the lowly Ducks; can’t wait for Tronno to fold like like a two Looney whore in the second round.

litre_cola

Carlyle HAS to be fired after this. The Jets pump them and now this shit kicking.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Haven’t they had like, historic levels of injuries though? Save the new coach bump for a year where they can actually make some noise.
/But also fuck them and I hope the entire franchise and everyone connected to it gets swallowed up by one of them Cali-for-ny-a sinkholes full of fire ants

Gratliff

Gonna use this thread to get back on my soapbox and reminds everyone that Scott Stevens was a fucking scumbag and deserves to be remembered as the headhunting piece of shit that he was
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litre_cola

Yeah they have been banged up all year. Gibson is the only reason they are where they are.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

What did Robert Mapplethorpe do to be associated with the Leafs?

ballsofsteelandfury

Piss on a beloved national icon?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Ah. That’ll do it.

That was Serrano. Mapplethorpe mostly just stuck bullwhips up asses.

Gratliff

So Alexander Edler just almost died on the ice

Gratliff
rockingdog
rockingdog

Like “skate blade across the throat” almost dying?

Gratliff

Stick got caught under voracek’s skate while Voracek while was going by him, Edler instinctively tugged the stick back, which ended up slingshotting him face first into the ice. Apparently they spent like 10 minutes cleaning up blood.

rockingdog
rockingdog
herodotus450
herodotus450

Nhl offering Coyotes-Stars as the free game of the night. It’s like they WANT people to watch basketball…

litre_cola

My lunch beers have ganged up and formed one huge acid re-flux. DAMN YOU OATMEAL STOUT!!!

Gratliff

BREAKING: President Trump has invited a boy who was bullied for his last name to the State of the Union. Jimmy Pisstape, 8, says it will be the “proudest day of his life”

— who pixelates the boatmen? (@pixelatedboat) February 5, 2019

Senor Weaselo

Wait, there’s ANOTHER pisstape?

rockingdog
rockingdog

Found a weird:
Regarding that Andy Warhol eating a burger commercial…

https://twitter.com/thatbilloakley/status/1092279504611889153

Wakezilla

I don’t have much to add about the Superb Owl except Todd Gurley is going way under the radar for being blamed. Andersson too.

Anyway, I’m looking forward to NXT’s WrestleMania and The Rugby World Cup.

Senor Weaselo

“He needed more bike.” -LaDanian T.

Sharkbait

I still think he was hurt.

rockingdog
rockingdog

bahahaha!!!!!
Next presidential executive order looking like…..comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

When can we retire?

ballsofsteelandfury

Pfft… Amateur!

– Dr. Mrs. RTD

Gratliff

2019: The year where every NHL team takes a turn as the worst team that’s ever played hockey

WCS

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

DFO Radio will be back soon!
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Gratliff

Now with Football out of the way, we can ramp up to the second most important sports event of the year.
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Gratliff

And of course, WrestleMania’s unofficial festival, WrestleCon, where 15 of the best non-WWE wrestlers in the world will work roughly 40 shows in 3 days and possibly die.
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Sharkbait

Mrs Sharkbait went to Northeastern and will be all about the beanpot. I still owe her one after they finally won it last year.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m with New Orleans.

It’s AFLW season!!

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:
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ballsofsteelandfury

That’s awesome!!