Due to extenuating circumstances (“Nailed the Vocab words!” – Blair W.), today’s installment of Sexy Friday is being brought to you by the pervert that brought you AVN Week.
Balls: Why thank you, TWBS, for such a gracious introduction!
TWBS: I’m not here and you are writing this.
Balls: Oh yeah. Hey, that chick we saw at lunch today was pretty cute, right?
TWBS: Again, I’m not here, you are talking to yourself, and you should probably seek professional help.
Balls: Now, that’s not nice!
TWBS: Seriously? You’re gonna keep this up the whole post?
Balls: Fine! I guess not. BE that way!
TWBS:
***
Dr. TWBS always has something to share in these Sexy Friday posts and I’ve often read them, thinking, “What can I, a simple Balls, share with the Commentist Party?”
The answer is, “Not much.”
You guys pretty much know me through my writing. If I come off as a bit of an asshole, a bit of a perv, and a person that loves to push people’s buttons, then that’s pretty close to the real me.
Granted, I do have some redeeming qualities, but very few people ever get to see them. It’s better that way.
They say you can tell a lot about a person by the things that person likes. I’m guessing this post will tell you a lot more about me.
Without further ado, TO THE CHEESECAKE!!
Updated for 2019:
In case you haven’t figured it out, I’m about to ruin your childhood:
Are there any fond childhood memories I haven’t completely destroyed? Please share in the comments!
He looks like someone pasted googly eyes over him with MS Paint
Hey DJ keep playin’ that song all niiiiight and on and on and on …
I am home!
I legit thought of you when I saw this.
New gif
I remade some gifs.
This looks better as a video due to length (Phrasing!)
https://giant.gfycat.com/HastyHospitableChihuahua.mp4
Component clips
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Shit. I’m drunk.
Good to hear from another drunken party.
Come on down to San Diego County we’re going to celebrate Low Commander’s birthday with dignity.
And drinks!
I lost the thread on when. I need to juggle trips to SD with work and wedding planning travel.
Sorry I’ve been awol this week. Work sucked. Send in questions to [email protected] and I’ll get the advice mailbag back up and running asap.
I’m in my hotel room watching an edited version of Predator and I feel like I should live blog some of it.
Jesse Ventura definitely had time to bleed.
Arnold did ALL the steroids.
As soon as Anna started speaking English they should have given her to the predator.
Did production values mean nothing?
I’m still watching goddamnit.
Long Tall Sally she built sweet.
Carl Weathers had some dedication but not near the steroid connection as Arnold.
Oh shit.
Max is strawberry preserves.
And now Carl “Just call me lefty” has time to bleed too.
So we know the line but why did he tell the filthy sandinista to “Get to the choppa?!”
Nothing good can come from this.
Ahnold is going to give this filthy alien a himena.
Now the predator is freeze drying bits of his kills. Jeffrey Dahmer thinks this is metal as fuck.
I’m watching the hacked up version of Predator on AMC and their about midnight ads consist of boner pills and knives.
What is your core audience again AMC?
Arnold is lathered in whale blubber and angst.
I’m certain the similarities of Arnold covered in muck from head to toe have nothing to do with Martin Sheen in Apocalypse Now.
Nope. Strictly coincidence. Move along.
The predator in this version looks like a stream lined Chrysler Lebaron nothing like the modern Dodge Chargers that all the noisy kids are driving. Old School.
Force Factor commercial just showed a gas handle going into a tank followed by a bursting bottle of bubbly.
I’m missing the connection.
Oh shit Arnold’s got a nuclear harpoon.
A quick rinse in the pond and he’s sexy as an Austrian steroid abusing motherfucker.
Dude! The Predator vapes!
He truly is an ugly motherfucker.
With crab claws for jowls.
Seriously? He crushed the predator with a rolling pin?
Predator is weak as fuck. He just spit in his own face.
By the way Mac the line is “Long Tall Sally, she’s built for speed, she’s got everything that Uncle John needs.”
Do some fucking research, Marine!
He’s Army. He and JV have lighters with the Special Forces insignia.
Faye Reagan was in the wkrp porn parody?
I mean, who are these people?
She had to have been Bailey Quarters which in itself is a fantastic porn name.
I could never dig her for some reason I can’t even remember anymore, which is weird since she hits so many of my buttons. Of course, no Lauren Phillips and to a lesser extent Lena Paul and a few newcomers way further behind her hit those buttons and more. Goddamn redheaded Amazon. Woooo.