Your “Okay – Time For The Good Stuff” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

The very good boy in the banner pic is GCHS CH VON ENGELS DESIGNATED DRIVER FROM INDIAN HILL, the 2019 Westminster Kennel Club Best of Breed winner in the Bernese Mountain dog category.

I don’t know if that sobriquet is true – most DD dogs are jerks.


NFL News:

  • The Texans have cut DeMaryius Thomas.
    • They got him from the Broncos for a 2019 4th & 7th, but tore his Achilles in Week 16.
  • The Bruce Arians era has begun in Tampa, as the Bucs cut DE Vinny Curry.
    • He was set to make $8 million, but not guaranteed.
    • Todd Bowles is changing the defence to a 3-4, which made the expensive Curry expendable.
  • Stealing from Crimebeat!, Antonio Brown was found guilty in absentia of reckless driving.
    • Police cited Brown on November 8th for allegedly driving a black Porsche more than 100 miles per hour through Ross Township, Pennsylvania.
      • He has already paid $426.77 in fines.
      • By not showing up to the hearing, he faces additional fines and possible licence restrictions. He could also face 30 days in jail, but that’d be highly unlikely.
  • Good thing, then, that he’s asked for a trade out of town. Again.
    • He’s under contract for three more seasons, and the Steelers face a $21 million cap hit if they trade him before June 1.
    • But this time, he’s pre-empting the Steelers by posting a “farewell” tweet before its even happened.


Big news: there was a snow day in Vancouver.

I settled on day drinking + day nachos, with a Lord of the Rings marathon as the main course.

I did not, however, take my alcohol tips from birthday boy Michael Ironside.


Tonight’s sports:

  • Dog show:
    • Westminster – Day 2 – 7:30PM | FS1 / NatGeo
  • NHL:
    • Blackhawks at Bruins – 7:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Celtics at 76ers – 8:00PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
    • Jazz at Warriors – 10:30PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
  • NCAA:
    • LSU at Kentucky – 7:00PM | ESPN
    • Michigan State at Wisconsin – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Pittsburgh at Boston College – 7:00PM | ESPNU
    • Duke at Louisville – 9:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Kansas State at Texas – 9:00PM | ESPN2
    • Arkansas at Missouri – 9:00PM | ESPNU
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

Monday night’s Westminster winners were:

  • Hound:  Dachshund (Longhaired)
  • Toy: Havanese
  • Non-Sporting:  Schipperkes
  • Herding: Bouviers des Flandres

C’MON REAL DOGS!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is it the weekend yet?

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We are watching 90 Day Fiance. One of the guys is hilariously transparently gay and just brought home this girl from Columbia to keep his Okie parents from figuring out the real deal.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I hope it sweeps the nation.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

At least some parts of it anyway.

Brick Meathook

I got the clap just watching that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

His second big hit was better:

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More of a thought piece.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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We need some tunes down in this place.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Yeah, some tunes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Both dogs hate that fucking song and video. Without opposable thumbs they are unable to do anything about it, much like a close relative’s wedding DJ.

Mr. Ayo

I still think they’re good boys.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That would ad to the good.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rex had irritated glands, then the static build gave him a shocking new sensation.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Alright, alright, just to be fair.

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Brick Meathook

Speaking of show dogs, here’s Flutter at a Glance, a comedy short from NASA featuring two minutes of catastrophic failure:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhwLojNerMU

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Col. Duke LaCross

Who layed the Reliant Stadium turf in the garden? Just about took out that old man!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

Who is the PA announcer? I’ve heard that voice before.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Michael J. LaFave

I have no idea who that is.

Col. Duke LaCross

Poor Bean just wants that damn collar off.

Col. Duke LaCross

Wait, it just walked out!

SCHIPPERKES IS GOING TO FIGHT!

Col. Duke LaCross

It should’ve dropped a giant deuce right on the winner’s circle on the way out.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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ArmedandHammered

I really wish they would or could use something besides those damn choke collars

King Hippo

said no BDSM sub EVAR!!

ArmedandHammered

A dog show is probably the only place where the phrase “I had to choke a bitch because she was getting out of hand” could be acceptable.

herodotus450

“…then I shoved my finger up her ass.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

y’all think a decent percentage of teh Louisville cheer squad might be exotic dancers? For if so, a road trip could be in order…

ArmedandHammered

Didn’t they get in trouble for outsourcing the strippers before? Guess the only way to be NCAA compliant was to have them as students.

King Hippo

Like the West Virginians say, keep it in the family!

WCS

At least we’re not in blackface!

/looks around nervously

Col. Duke LaCross

The PA announcer is starting to sound a little punchy.

litre_cola
Gratliff

Happy to report that I was wrong before and that hockey is good again.

King Hippo

what’s to worry? Everybody in the NHL makes the playoffs (except the Geographically Disparate Whalers), and home ice is nothing more than a crapshoot.

litre_cola

Ahem, I would like to direct you to my neighboUrs ton the north….

King Hippo

Edmonton is even MOAR North than you, imaginary pal?

/they don’t count, they got Gretsky so other folk need their turn

litre_cola

It has been entertaining watching their dumpster fire from afar. HOW MANY #1 PICKS DO YOU NEED????

litre_cola

Or give veterans huge contracts who do NOT deserve them, or Chia’s goalie extension before he was fired.

Brick Meathook

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herodotus450

Jonas Gustaffson, now 20 years younger and playing D and changing his name to Erik, gets the Hawks to within 1.

Gratliff

5th day in 3 weeks that I don’t have work due to snow and I may be getting tired of staying home

ArmedandHammered

A Boxer, really?

Mr. Ayo

It happens.
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King Hippo

my racist grandpa had a long line of boxers. They were all stupid assholes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No, they just learned from your kin.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hippo has lost some money too.

Col. Duke LaCross

Miniature barrel of whiskey should be mandatory for the St. Bernard.

ArmedandHammered

Was just thinking that, plus a drool bucket.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes, if I have to wear one so does he.

Col. Duke LaCross

Maximus fucking rules.

Col. Duke LaCross

Crush is one majestic looking bastard. And he wants that fucking ill-fitting collar off of him NOW.

Gratliff

Welp, Flyers are bad again, as is tradition.

Col. Duke LaCross
WCS

Drew is going on a full FUCK BIG MAYO rant on Twitter right now, and it should be entered in the Library of Congress.

Gratliff

I am pro-Mayo, but someone in that thread declared mayo on grilled cheese to be a good thing, so I have to fight him in the streets with a knife.

WCS

And I liked it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’d suggest if one does not like mayonnaise that one doesn’t fucking eat it.

litre_cola

Gimme some damn pug action.

Col. Duke LaCross

Bean! Grandson of Stump!

Gratliff

Law of averages says Flyers follow up with that bullshit 50 shot, 1 goal game by beating Minnesota by 32.

Gratliff

There’s #1. Poor Wild.

SonOfSpam

Bouviers des (Stupid) Flandres

rockingdog

Those are some rocking dogs.

herodotus450

Badder guys score, Bruins up 3-1. Wait, when did they score the other two? Anyway, as long as it wasn’t–oh, it was Marchand. Well a bet’s a bet.
/Licks TV

Col. Duke LaCross

Lagotto Romagnolo Fister Roboto!

Col. Duke LaCross

Whoa! The Schipperkes has been DQ’d from the Best In Show competition! Possible fuckery afoot!

herodotus450

Not sure how that was a penalty, but since it was on Marchand, I’ll take it. Plus he got smashed into the goalpost pretty bad, too.

herodotus450

Bruins v. Blackhawks, and the bad guys are up 1-0 early.
No, the other bad guys.

Mr. Ayo

Stupid sexy Flandres

SonOfSpam

Sorry. I missed this somehow and executed your joke more poorly-er. I will think about my misdeeds.

Mr. Ayo

I support posting quick fire jokes over reading all the comments like a total nerd.

rockingdog

found a funny:

“sir, can i ask why you’re smoking TWO huge blunts?”
“officer, I’m…”
*turns to camera*
“double jointed”
*cop starts breakdancing*

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Schipperkes? Quit making shit up.

scotchnaut

“Cheering for the best dog to go on to the next round? I’m Lovin’ It!”

-M. Vick