Welcome back, though the FA Cup semis (nae exactly raging, MOAR LIEK a quarter-chubb, just enough to make you glad you wore jeans).
As such, ALL the Prem action on Saturday is in the 10:00 window (Daylight Savings Times are back in alignment). Palace and Newcastle are the featured match (NBCSN), while you get the similarly meh Leicester/Huddersfield (ded) and Cherries/Burnley (could still die) on NBC Gold. Anyway, the Cherries often play entertaining matches. Give it a spin.
Sunday Funday only has one offering, but it is quality. Suddenly flying Everton host the up-and-down Arsenal crew (9:00, NBCSN). You could say it is a Hippo/Horatio Derby of sorts, which will have to do until #BFIB face the Bombers in the World Series. Yeah, I am semi-predicting this, wanna fight about it? Anyway, this should be a highly entertaining match, something I wouldn’t have said a month ago. Confidence is a fickle thing in sport, but the Toffees have it, Goodison is finally roaring more than moaning…but the Gooners also need this in the crowded race for Champions League spots. Yes, deffo worth setting one’s alarm.
As to the FA Cup, it is perhaps the easiest leg of Man City’s desired quadruple (League Cup already done and dusted). Hopefully, stupid fucking Saints will take a point off the Shite Friday night, and make leg 3 an easier road. City take on Brighton & Hove at 12:30 on Saturday (ESPN+), and I expect to see the Mancs locked and loaded. No upset bet potential, I’m afraid. Wolves and Moose Hornets are the Sunday offering (11:00, ESPN+), and that’s an absolute coinflip. Should be fun.
Unless the Mancs win out in FA Cup play, the race for 7th is irrelevant. The Cup winner would take the final Europa place, leaving no more room at the inn. Not really sure such an early start of the season would really favour Wolves or Everton (the most likely 7th finishers), but it’s still a goal for the players.
Elsewhere in Europe, Juve draw AC Milan as Saturday’ best (11:50, ESPN+), and Inter v. Atalanta (I hear yew callllllin’) also seems pretty interesting in Serie A (11:55 Sun, ESPN News). Our Young Boys try to swallow up Thun at Wankdorf (10:00 Sun) though one can only guess at their motivation.
Wait, that leaves out an absolutely titanic Nazi clash, with 1st position Borussia Dortmund visiting 2nd place Bayern (12:30, Fox). That’s right, a rare Big Fox sighting, with the winner almost surely winning the Bundesliga. Don’t miss it.
Lastly, Barca host Atleti, in a powerhouse La Liga clash (2:30, BeIn). I will let my more knowledgeable Lesser Footy brethren weigh in on that one.
New thread is open and ready for busy-ness!
I have to figure out how to keep the kids distracted while I watch the Final Four in the bedroom. Wifey and her sister went to a concert, so I’m solo tonight.
HELLO BOURBON
cut it with apple juice, it should do the jerb for your chill’uns
Have some mayo with it!!
*Sponsored by Big Mayo.
THANKS!
Inside the Chieftain’s Hatch
NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!
up $1K, pissed that I didn’t cash $73 on Atleti wringing out the Draw
fuck off, you racist, bitey fuck
“I’m a little bit racist, I’m a little bit bitey.”
-The Donny and Marie Show’s intro song in one of Rick’s universes
White Mormons racist? GTFO!
*Non-white mormons are unicorns.
or Samoan
Yes, but volume wise; a small portion. Also Samoans do not do well in Utah unless they play football.
its all about noeing ur place ,, ppl forget that
As to the running stuff below, I ran for about 15 years (for fitness) before my knees and c-spine sent me back to the exercise bike. Usually somewhere between 2 and 3.5 miles, though I did 5 once in law school (which almost killed me).
Number of times I got that “runner’s high?” Nil.
Girls are shooting from beyond the 3 point line at the State Farm Championships! How are the later-round winners going to jack off their boyfriends tonight if their arms are sore? This is a perfect example of white men in power not thinking things all the way through. smgdh
hee hee, they kiss GIRLS silly
/just no fisting for a bit, mebbe
Hey! Reds are scoring runs again!
Preview to one of tonight’s games-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7X62ulMaJRg
Mania weekend continues unimpeded
Ass Man Hour, eh?
I’m debating turning my WWE Network account back on to watch it. I want to watch Kofi and Becky win, but I’m afraid I’ll be validating this years horribly shitting WM-build.
I subscribed to three different streaming services for exactly one month because this is the closest approximation of a sports weekend that I have between the Flyers being eliminated and September.
Also, last night’s Takeover may have been the best NXT show they’ve ever put on. Just insanely good everything. There should be a way to identify it as the only reason you’re subbing in the first place
Just made the mistake of searching that hashtag for more gifs and sweet baby jesus fuck the Q zombies are terrifying
The grill is on! I repeat: the backyard grill is on! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Whatcha gonna grill?
Hamburgers and Turkeyburgers.
Tater Tots or Fries on the side?
/giggles maniacally
I really wish turkeys would just be themselves instead of trying to be burgers and bacon.
The grill is not a drill? In what way?
Went for what ended up to be a 9k run this morning. Right now I’m not sure whether my left knee is arthritic or just ‘fuck this jogging shit-ritic’.
my right knee is the arthritic one
mirror spirit animals…
I’m the opposite. My knees are fine, but my body has no core strength or running endurance. I run for about 1/2 mile and then my body just goes “Nope! I’m done!”
If I’m not mistaken, you’ve just started, right?
Started after a decent layaway. Had a rather nasty case of plantar fasciitis that keep me off the track and on the coach for a season or two. Before that and 20 pounds ago, I could jog a 5K in about 35-40 minutes. Not great, but something.
I played basketball all thru high school and beyond but when I first started running to get back into shape (mid-30’s) it was fucking hell until someone told me to focus on breathing rather than the running. It all came together after that.
For me its my running pace. I’m trying to go too hard too fast. Its like I’m trying to learn how to drive stick, but I’m trying to shift from 1st to 4th.
up about $1K today 😀
feel so strong re this La Liga tilt that I put 20 whole dollars on Draw!
Sooooo….when UVa and Texas Tech both win later tonight, and I win the DFO Bracket Pool….what’s my prize?
Just not getting my ass kicked by everyone? I can live with that.
I read that as licked.
We can negotiate.
Ok, boys, the real game has started. I trust everyone is watching Barça-Atleti…
muted, so I can hear KMOX
/thank fuck mlb.tv audio overlay option works great this year
It’s the freaking Padres, man.
(no offense, LCSS)
Here have a duck. I sneaked up on this lazy shithead yesterday in my back yard. I wish I’d gotten a shot of his “Oh Shit!!!!!!!!!!” reaction when he woke up and took off. It was humourus.
Well, he might not agree with that, but I thought it was.
Don’t you hate it when your phone autocorrects to duck?
I actually have a story about that, but I shouldn’t tell it.
Yeah, I shouldn’t tell it. Meh fuck it….
About two and a half years ago, someone who you may or may not know….
Told me by text msg, she wanted me to stick my duck in her pussy.
I laughed for like a month.
Autocorrect is the bestest.
“Mmmmm. I love duck breast so much!”
-excerpt from the recent bio, “Kenneth Pinyan, The Early Years”
Nice eye, Marp!
cracker of a header seals it for Rayo and HAILGAMBLOR
That cross by The Broom was exceptional. Wow!
shockingly turned into the match winner, too
You should hit him up for some betting advice. Because he knows all the angles! Get it?
/I killed in The Catskills back in the 50’s, I tells ya!
I’m watching lacrosse….(18)Rutgers @ Johns Hopkins.
Rutgers is 6-4 and ranked #18?
How fucking shitty is lacrosse?
Hopkins up 2-0 btw.
True story Bro….my HS won the state title my senior year.
LOL, there are literally dozens of fans in attendance.
They all look bored.
Welp, I just spent 2 hours walking around a shitty piece of land for sale in Rural Orange Co. NC for no good reason.
But I did stop at the booze store on the way home so at least there’s that.
As I pulled up in the driveway after work yesterday it was 69 degrees. I instinctively yelled “NIIIIIIIIICE!”
Got a bit of an odd look from the neighbor who already knows I’m a bit off the cake.
Juve are going to be a force to be reckoned with in Europe next year or two, I thinks.
…so you’re saying that Steve Bannon is a fan?
and Juve get the winner!
DOWNLOAD HOT GILF ACTION FREE!!
Just went to the Jamaican place in Willimantic to get lunch. Standing in line while the woman behind me, also Jamaican, comments in what is most certainly not a whisper that the prices are high. Then her mid-teens daughter comes in and starts the same commentary.
I got my patties and fried chicken and got the fuck outta Dodge.
“Theeese is waugh cheeeeper in Jaumacauh, mon.”
*racist
Horatio attempting to start a conversation while waiting in line (artist’s conception):
If she just read Sunday Gravy.
Juve back level
4 nil to Bayern. Jeesus they have an actual challenge for the title and are putting their jack boot on the Dortmund throat.
this looks more like that silly 9-nil PSG got over Guingamp earlier this season. But Dortmund were in 1st coming in to the day.
Just looked it up and Mrs Cola looked at the score and stated “Bet you this isn’t how they saw this going”
nice wordplay, Mrs. Cola!
Moving over to Rayo, whom I bet $40 on HT and FT. Almost got first half in the barn!!
Jeebus, this a full-on snuff film now.
Pure class on das gol.
like a herd of buffalo, they was. SKILLED buffalo.
/commentator had it spot on, Bayern are rampant
Okay-I think I just saw this in black and white. Ereck Flowers, the guy that was cut by the Giants and released by the Jaguars, was signed to a [takes deep breath] four million dollar one year contract by the Potato Skins? How is that front office-ably possible?
I mean, they jerb is killin’ QBs, when you look at it from that standpoint, totes makes sense.
Brighton Hove & Albion calling themselves the Ducks these days?
see below, would love to have your genius game intros tonight, if willing and able
ah haven’t seen slaughter like this in Germany since…
Anna Merkel’s first election win?
I was gonna say Webster Slaughter’s family vacation to Munich, but yours works too.
rare good penno decision in Juve game
Never seen better than that wonder cross by Kevin teh Broom (h/t scotchy)
Dang! Just missed it!
hey spirit animal – want to write the hoopsball Raging Semi thread for this evening?
I’ma few beers in but I’ll give it a shot.
scotchy crunk musings WOO!!!
/you’ve done some of your best work when highly inebriated and angry at Los Gigantes
#FunctionalAlkies
No Pulisic = Bayern easy win (methinks)
fuckadoo, only bet $50 (-101) on Bayern to win the first half. This is a slaughter.
If they go to hard Brexit does it all become grey?
Yes, except for Farnborough.
looks like somebody ded in Barcodes match
This dish is for drunk and/ or stoned as hell people.
Reporting for duty sir.
OK, but take that clear jelly stuff of before you microwave it.
Not featured on Sunday Gravy.
Cherries getting dry-bummed now
“Wish I’d thought of that.” – David Carradine
Nice.
Seriously what the fuck with these guys? We started out playing fierce and now we can’t beat fucking Burnley?
Probably lose to fucking Brighton next week for fucks sake.
Dry-bummed is what Jim Tomsula calls it when he manages to take refuge in a boxcar during a thunderstorm.
You see because the O-face is angry.
Currently like 15 hours of wresting to catch up on today, which will probably double by the end of the night. Mania week is so good, you guys.
It’s certainly better than Depression week, I’ll give you that.
Yeah, let’s do something that makes us feel good.
At least there is Barca Athleti today
Burnley and the Cherries entertaining so far. Plus GAMBLOR to watch (c’mon, your Metz!)
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=ulHR8C4ZZes
perhaps there is some situation where Archer clips aren’t the best remedy, but I ain’t found it yet
well this looks fun!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9APLXM9Ei8
Chernobyl absolutely fascinates me. I am a morbid, sick fuck.
There is some good travel shows of people that went there.
HBO had a documentary like that, of a local gal on a motorbike. Really haunting shit.
Well good news, thanks to the civil war between the people who want to go back to being Soviets and the people who want to go back to being Nazis, there’s a thriving, practically glowing community of Ukrainians currently rebuilding their lives in Chernobyl.
But enough about BrittFarr’s junk…
I feel like time travel would wake people up to the fact that the past was always worse than the present. Even during so-called “golden ages” people were still washing their clothes in piss.
In general perhaps, but it depends on who and where you are at.
That assumes your socioeconomic status stays the same. Of course it could be nice to go from, say, having to give Robert Kraft handjobs to make ends meet to being a king’s concubine or something.