Your “Raging Semi” College Basketball Game Intro And Saturday Night Open Thread

King Hippo gave me the raging semi, by the way. He’s good like that-a real solid internet buddy, as opposed to all you viscous, semi-transparent folks out there in the ether.

So kiddos, we all know who’s playing who and where they’re playing and what sport they’re playing and which planet they’re playing on. Why don’t we get to know these schools? Maybe even rub up against one of their players, smell them-get to really know them? As Guga from Sous Vide Everything would say, “Lessss do it”.

Auburn:

This delightful learning center is located in the very appropriately-named community of… Auburn. The 25 member naming committee spent nearly three weeks in The Seychelles coming up with that doozy. Expletives were tossed, noses were bloodied, skin was burned and copious bottles of rum were consumed before the 30-23 vote sealed the deal. (Mathematics is not one of the stronger programs here) But hey, I can tell you that the Cat Drowning: How to Turn Your Hobby Into a Profitable Business course is full year after year.

Player to Watch:

Jared Harper is a cheeky fellow that pushes the play upcourt, can seemingly get to the basket at will and never asks, “Does anyone want that last chicken wing?”. So alpha…

Virginny:

As it says right there in the name, students here are all virgins-just like Sally Hemings was until she turned 14. Mr. Jefferson’s birthday ‘gift’ didn’t go over very well initially but he did keep on giving until an understanding was reached. Jefferson apologist Sandford Fleming would later qualify the former’s actions by saying, “It was a different time!”. Some courses offered in the Agricultural Sciences Program include How to Lick The Gucci Loafers of Monsanto Executives and Still Maintain Your Dignity. Mike Tyson is a guest lecturer in the summer and his The Chickens, They Cry in my Dreams: Why I Sold Tyson Foods for Pennies on the Dollar is back by popular demand.

Player To Watch: Kyle Guy came out of nowhere to burn Purdue for 25 points. His pre-game speeches to his teammates consist solely of quotes from Girl, Interrupted.

Texas Tech:

Should you bother to do a quick Googgly map search of this precious college you’ll see that it’s nestled softly between Gus’ House of Stuffed Newts (not a sponsor) and a barren wasteland being traversed by a boy and his father. (Spoiler-the dad dies and so will Gus, eventually) One course offered that has raised more than a few eyebrows is Dennis Rader’s All Trussed Up and Nowhere To Go: Examining the Predator/Prey Dynamic in Hitchcock’s “Rope”. Obviously this is only available on-line.

Player To Watch: Jarret Culver is 195 pounds of coiled steel. He’ll spring at you when you least expect it. Don’t dismiss this dude just because he has a 25+ fanny pack collection.

Michigan State:

This pride and joy of the lower peninsula is situated in East Lansing because-and I’m quoting from the school’s mission statement here-“We’re gonna teach (HA!) those retards in North Lansing how to run a proper fucking school!”. Seems like there’s a bit of history there… Anyhoo, one of the profs teaching Fluid Dynamics 101 is certain that a solution to the age-old ‘why can’t a free-standing colander ever be filled with running tap water?” problem is just around the corner.

Player To Watch: Joshua Langford has a tendency to score in the teen’s and with the teens. Let’s all hope that he grows out of that last tendency in the next few years.

There you have it. Bet accordingly.

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Rikki-Tikki-DeadlyBrettFavresColonoscopyUnsurprisedALXMACCol. Duke LaCross Recent comment authors
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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

🎶 Mammaries … 🎶

h

ttps://i.redd.it/v5329wkxfnq21.gif

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Didn’t know that I had to see her honkers, but that is a plus one.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I totally forgot how nice they are.

It’s Melanie Griffith, BTW. Her daughter’s are nice but smaller. But she makes up for it with a great ass.

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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

OH crap. I thought it was the chick from Mad Men

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I thought it was Beverly D’Angelo

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not a plus two?

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Time to get comfortable.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You like it…..

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The fun part is the cleanup.

I wish I could post the gif of the Ukrainian prank show where they set up people to “accidentally” and amazingly, through the genius of breakaway clothing, suck up a big-titty model’s shirt. I guess the description will do since I also don’t want to hunt for it and just post a bifurcated link

I guess I’ll share anyway.

h

ttps://imgur.com/2xZLb

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You like dat espresso on your tits, don’t cha?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

.

Trying to post or upvote on mobile fucking blows.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anybody bring this guy back yet in honor of Texas Tech’s win?
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He brought himself to the edge.

yeah right

I am higher than Judy Jetson.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Maybe Michigan State would have won if Republicans hadn’t poisoned Flint’s drinking water

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

Got four new flavors today:
• Coco
• Herijuana
• Northern Lights x Blueberry
• Greaseball

Any Canadiauns or Mountain/Pacific time zoners recognize or relate to these strains?

yeah right

I’ve tried northern lights and blueberry and remain a big fan.
Of both.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

In a delayed follow up to what I said to unsurprised below:

What was the worst movie you’ve seen in theatres, discounting novelty films and such. I.E. going to a special screening of “the room”. Movies that going into you had no particular reason to believe it’d be as awful as it was.

Gratliff

I walked out of Godzilla 40 minutes in, but Jurassic World was probably the angriest I ever felt at spending money on a movie.

Brocky

Hmm. admirable picks. Honestly i never saw the 98 zilla as being “walk out of the theater bad”, simply, “realize how dumb it was later that day bad”.

Jurassic world, yeah, doesn’t even try to hide its stupidity

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It’s amazing how every movie in the franchise except the original not only sucks but manages to get increasingly worse than the last. Because as bad as JW is, Fallen World is so much worse.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Gird your loins because I walked out of the theaters during Casino. It was long, boring, overacted, derivative of the good work Pesci and Deniro had previously done, and Sharon Stone didn’t even get naked.

Also Vanilla Sky.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I thought Casino was not good, but don’t rate it as bad as you. Mine was Independence Day; what a POS. I bitterly hate Tom Cruise, so any movie with him I can’t really judge.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

How far did you get. Because when Ginger really goes full drunk/mental batshit is weird because I actually love that movie but her breaking down and all that shit was basically my grandmother for the last decade of her life. Bipolar is a motherfucker and especially before anyone had any real treatment. Not that she was being treated properly, which is a whole other thing that just made it worse.

It does make me loathe all the times people have won Oscars or other awards for playing broken people like when Stone won because it’s fucking bullshit but it’s easy Oscar bait so long as you don’t go full retard.

Beerguyrob

Atonement. I thought it was going to be like “Dunkirk” instead of a fucking “when I woke up” love story. My wife & her friend were crying at the ending and I declared it “the worst fucking movie I had ever seen.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I am watching 60s, 70s, 80s, really bad SF movies, MST3000 worthy and enjoying them just as much as any new movie…. but I’m fucked up so take it for a grain. Dunkirk was the last one I liked, but it had footage of a Spitfire in the air, that alone puts it up a few points in my book.

Col. Duke LaCross

Never walked out of a theater, but Indiana Jones IV made me genuinely angry.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The Gambler. Hands down.

It’s funny, too, because it was so bad it almost came back around to be a great “Fuck You” movie where it seemed like the director was intent on making that statement to the audience just because he could. But it wouldn’t be Marky Mark if the bastard was in a movie where he says fuck you to John Goodman standing in for us only to fade to black. No. He did that and then ran off through half of L.A. to hook up with Brie Larson (granted, who wouldn’t. But still.). It was the same disappointment I felt when Minority Report continued after Tom Cruise got haloed and Tim Blake Nelson says something like “welcome home.” That’s when I turn it off, but The Gambler I cannot ever watch again.

I should also add that I hate Mark wahlberg more than any other actor and it is fitting that the only movie he was good in and was itself good is Boogie Nights, the same movie his stupid self righteous ass regrets making now. Which is doubly shitty because Leonardo DiCaprio almost and should’ve played Dirk. Oh well.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I walked out of Unsane halfway through because it bothered me so much. But it was good. Just not for me at the time.

I can’t rewatch Requiem for a Dream since my mother died. Or Mid90s and Don’t Worry He Won’t Get Far on Foot yet for separate reasons.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Bevis and Butthead: The Movie

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am going to have to take back every nice thing I said about you. That movie is a cinematic treasure and I will not hear otherwise. Even the opening credits sequence is pure perfection.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Big Hit. Curiously enough, even though I didn’t know it at the time the female lead (China Chow) was going to college across the street and was friends with friends of mine.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Just want to point out that TT’s win assures tWBS of winning the bracket challenge.
Yes, I’m awesome.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Congrats!

theeWeeBabySeamus

You’re kinda sounding a bit sarcastic there.
Jealous much?

lmfao

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I got third! I’m leaping for joy!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Tallest man on Pygmy Island!!

Fronkenshteen

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theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s disturbing.

Fronkenshteen

He would eat his own face in a SECOND!

Fronkenshteen

I’m sweating. Just sweating from eating food. Maybe if I eat ice cream, the sweat will become a viscous, cooling gel. Fronkxema, perhaps?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Couldn’t hurt.

yeah right

Save that with your bacon grease.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Shit, man. This movie is too fucking real.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I can’t tell you how many hot women I’ve lost to spilled coffee.

Fronkenshteen

One guy. One cup.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

One guy….. forever alone, but caffeinated.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

TOP OF THE WORLD, MA!!!!

Beerguyrob

It’s still a great movie.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

If TT plays the way they did tonight on Monday? UVa gon’ beat the shit out of them.
Bet accordingly.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Also, tWBS now can’t lose the pool. I win, muddafukkas.

Fronkenshteen

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

Usually when yellow things come out a dogs ass its cause it has worms, and needs a trip to the vet

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I’m finally watching Hell and High Water. I forgot all these Sheridan movies are filmed in and around Albuquerque until I recognized the Indian casino. And goddamn it I wish I couldn’t.

Brocky

Occam’s razor says just simply stop watching, but hey don’t take it from me.

Following up on a question you asked like a month ago: why exactly did i see the love guru in theaters?

Again, occam’s razor. Me and friends were bored after grabbing dinner, had seen every movie in that summer, and decided to give mike myers a try. We simply hadn’t seen any trailers for it, jessica alba wasn’t fully annoying yet, and we hadn’t noticed why mike hadn’t done a live action movie since goldmember.

Was it bad? Of course it was. But it wasn’t like “the room” bad

yeah right

I’m sensing a theme.

Brocky

Also, fuck that guy who jumped bret hart

Brocky

Oh hello Patrick “you had one fucking job” mahomes

Brocky

Not gonna lie, part of me wanted to see Michigan state win just so i could brag about IU beating them twice

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Game

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Drunk ice cream is even better without the wrapper.

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

A goal for this summer’s brewer festival.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I think I’d like to meet her.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’d like to meat her……

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

and by that I mean I’d be perfectly willing to buy her a pastrami sandwich.

theeWeeBabySeamus

9/10… would cook my ass off for her.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Normally you have to pay for that kind of action!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh, he’s getting paid…..

Fronkenshteen

Live money line on MSU to win?

King Hippo

me no pull up GAMBLOR on work laptop, other is charging. But the notion crossed my mind.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

No betting app?

King Hippo

this is like watching a bunch of retarded kids drive around bumper cars

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hahahahaha.
You ain’t wrong. UVa gon’ kill these fuckers.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

ooooh, Headband Guy got the bestest dope!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yep, he got a shot.
And TT’s white boy ain’t smrt.

King Hippo

is his Christian name Cleetus? Surely it is.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

HEEEERE’S ROCKET!

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

FAHK YOU I’M A RACCOON!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

This stretch is the worst thing ever to happen involving Michigan State – Tom I., Lansing, MI

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Come on TT, just kill clock now.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Orrrrrr….drain another trey, that’s ok too I guess.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oooooh, the CLOCK!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dammit Yanks!!!!! Orioles about to be above .500 for the last day of the season.
/sighs heavily

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

O/U average age on the floor right now is set at 23 years 4 months. WHO YA GOT?!

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Under

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Under. They all would have to be Seniors with a birthmonth in December.

yeah right

Way the fuck over.

King Hippo

yup, that leg’s a fallin’ off

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Minor sprain. He’s fine.

King Hippo

actually, looks like they were taking him out back to shoot him. RIP.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

We’re owned and ruled by human goldfish

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King Hippo

I really think he’s “running” on a dare or lost bet.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Can we put him and Clay Bennett on the next rocket out of here?

Redshirt

What are you talking about? Funny Unsurprised!

(goes to fishbowl)
“The fly is flying too close to the buglight.”

theeWeeBabySeamus

TT about to fuck Sparty up methinks.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Son of bitch, shit….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

sex slaves come in all shapes and sizes ppl forget that

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I cannot shake this cough. I think the only solution is more beer.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I just wish I hadn’t drank all that cough syrup….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Try the home remedy for your head cold.

Redshirt

“Well that was fun playing Xbox with my friends. Let’s see what’s going on with the world.”

https://www.cbssports.com/wwe/news/fan-jumps-barricade-attacks-bret-hart-at-2019-wwe-hall-of-fame-induction-ceremony/

“Wow. Even shittier. Also, wrestling being fake doesn’t mean they don’t know how to fight. If there wasn’t fans there or if that wasn’t be shown in the network, they’d be picking him up with a Wet/Dry Vacuum right now.”

Gratliff

This did nothing to stop them from each getting their free shots in. He got cleanly blasted by Cesaro, Davey Boy Smith, Jr, and Dash Wilder while being dragged out and I’m sure they did a fucking conga line across his head once they were out of LoS of the cameras.

Redshirt

That’s the rule: If a fan rushes the ring and attacks another wrestler, expose his vital organs to air.

Gratliff

Also, apparently Ring of Honor had a worked shoot angle where Enzo and Cass jumped the rails and attacked the Briscoes. They didn’t acknowledge it in the broadcast and it happened like 20 minutes after the Hart incident. Ring of Honor is somehow still the worst thing in wrestling.

Redshirt

Agreed. Even when NWA-TNA/TNA/Impact Wrestling was relevant, ROH was still the fourth best horse in a three-horse race.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Orioles steal 3rd in a tie game in the 7th.
Ballsy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s one way to do it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Then a sac fly to take the lead.
Nicely done.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

This may be the only good Trump joke tweet

https://mobile.twitter.com/dril/status/1114073208255275008

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Two kills, one bullet.

King Hippo

that’s good parenting!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Big brother is toughing those little shits up. “HEAD ON A SWIVEL, PEOPLE!!”

King Hippo

That is a big brother’s calling in life!

/yes, I have a younger brother and sister, why do you ask?

litre_cola

Pitchers duel?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

and the half comes to a mercy killing…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Hey boys

King Hippo

yo! Enjoying the crappy hoopsball finale after the bananacakes opener?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

What’s basketball?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Who you calling “boy”?
Oh wait, I’m white, never mind.

King Hippo

ain’t no Vietcong evar call me cracker

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hippo don’t surf.