Your Wrestlemania Sunday Open Thread

You’ll have to forgive me, but Redshirt, Gratliff & I will be contributing tonight with one eye on the 8-hour spectacle going on in front of us. There are, by my count, 15 matches taking place, including two Battles Royale. Of all that noise, here’s what’s important:

  • WWE Championship: Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan
    • the B+ player versus the “Original B+ Player”™. It should be the best match on the card.
  • WWE Universal Championship: Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins
    • if Brock’s fighting Cormier, or Cormier is shown in the crowd, he’s losing.
  • Winner Take All: Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Becky Lynch
    • the Main Event. If Becky pins Ronda, Ronda’s gone for a while. If Becky pins Charlotte, Ronda’s staying. No one expects Charlotte to win, despite her being an actual Flair.

This ‘Mania has had just the worst build up to it – racism, sexism, &  Shane McMahon have been booking staples this season. The quest to give everyone something to do has bloated the card to the point where only the obsessed can watch the whole damn thing. You can find a list & breakdown of each match here.

Me – I’m going to settle for updates during the day, and then hunker down for a serious watch about 6:00 PT.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL: first round playoffs begin Thursday
  • MLB:
    • Dodgers at Rockies – 8:30PM | ESPN / TSN5
  • NBA:
    • Clippers at Warriors – 8:30PM | Sportsnet
    • Jazz at Lakers – 9:30PM | NBATV
    • G-League Playoff:
      • Game 1: Rio Grande Valley Vipers at Long Island Nets – 7:00PM | ESPNU
  • NCAA:
    • Women’s Championship Game – Notre Dame vs. Baylor – 6:00PM | ESPN / TSN5
  • Futbol:
    • Women’s International Friendly Soccer:
      • U.S. vs. Belgium – 9:00PM | ESPN2
  • WWE:
    • Wrestlemania Kickoff show – 6:00PM | USA

The Men’s Final Four concludes tomorrow, and either Hippo or Scotchy will have you covered. YOUR BETS ARE YOUR OWN RESPONSIBILITY!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

“No judgment. I’m just waiting until that machine bends you backwards.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ve never understood WrestleMania. Or women. But I’m still interested in one.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I could do that but I don’t wanna

Unsurprised

At least Wrestlemania doesn’t break your balls and leave you broke. Just $35 for PPV, right?

KidFlash

Depends on if you have a cable/satellite provider. Dish Network was charging $60.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

About to watch NXT Take over and Wrestlemania over the next few days (Yes, I already know what happens).

Honestly, Vince should make Wrestlemania a 2 day, 3 hour/day event. One 10 hour day or whatever it is, ending at midnight for east coasters is stupid.

Senor Weaselo

Ending at midnight in the time zone it’s located in, so all those people… well they probably were gonna call out to work anyway.

Gratliff

I don’t think it’s ended before midnight in 3 years. Maybe he should let some of the 150 wrestlers out of their contracts so they don’t need 8 hours to get 75% of the roster into the show

Wakezilla

They’d likely get stronger crowd reactions if they were more recharged by having a shorter event.

Unsurprised

Batista’s grand entrance

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Redshirt

BLEERGH reigns supreme at WrestleMania!

Unsurprised

ALL HAIL BLEERGH!

Gratliff

7.5 hours of Mania later, it ends on a botched pin

Wakezilla

The convoluted booking continues tomorrow!

Wakezilla

Thanks everyone for your replies and validation that “Discuss the representation of violence” is a stupid question. The book in question is Timothy Findley’s The Wars

@beerguy: “What drives someone to volunteer for war?” . . .In the case of the protagonist, he joins out of guilt because his severely mentally disabled sister died due to the fact the protagonist was too busy jerking off in the washroom instead of baby sitting his sister. (I’m not joking)

: “I would take it (and this is probably simplistic), is how did the author justify the violence in the book, was it justified, righteous, or something to be abhorred?”

Oh, it is abhorred.

: “Based on how the question is worded I would focus on 1) How and 2) Why the author decided to make the those decisions.”

That’s pretty good advice, too. Thanks. (And Welcome!)

Wakezilla

In highschool!?! I’m shocked that would have gotten approved with how graphic it is. Can you give me a hint as to what path I should follow?

It’s obviously a negative critique about violence in WWI. Should I go down the path that it changed the collective psyche of Canadian society where violent acts went from private to public?

Or should I keep it simple(r) and discuss how it’s negatively represented and the use of flames can also symbolically represent pain and emotional distress?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Here we see the origins of the handshake in Canada.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL

Senor Weaselo

“Get on with it!” -The refs

Redshirt

The Triple H/Batista and Baron Corbin match took a lot out of me. Is Trump still President or did the dolphins finally rise up and overthrow humanity?

Senor Weaselo

Snorky 2020!

Unsurprised

He has my vote unless Meteor decides to run.

Gratliff

Video recap of women’s title match story at 11:48 pm. Match should start by 12:10 am. This is a war crime.

Gratliff

It is hard to imagine a time when it wasn’t WrestleMania XXXV. It is the only life I can remember ever knowing.

Gratliff

It is 11:12 PM EST and there are at least 3 more matches on this card.

Gratliff

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Col. Duke LaCross

Holy shit!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Does Alexa still have her clothes on?
I’ll change channels if not.

Gratliff

Same dress but with a lower neckline and it’s green

theeWeeBabySeamus

Tempting.

Senor Weaselo

Isn’t a symptom of mania hyperactivity, so an increase in speed or energy? Clearly this is not a Wrestlemania then.

Unsurprised

I had to jury rig Gratliff’s bills mafia gif link because Fuck ESPN.

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blaxabbath

Love bills mafia

Horatio Cornblower

Jay is retired and has no idea what he wants to do right now.

So pretty much exactly what he was like when he dropped back in the pocket.

Unsurprised

Cats gonna cat

blaxabbath

They should let him fill in on the price is right for just one week.

Unsurprised

Anyone who gets the exact price has to reach into his pocket to get the $100 bill, but once in the pocket they find there’s nothing there – just like when Cutler was playing.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh god, two horrible women are talking about freezing their eggs and ruling the world together.

I just want to watch Jay Cutler get fucked up and make horribly awkward conversation.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Unsurprised

His summer coat is coming in nicely. He’s still intent on showing off his ass like every other cat, too.

Horatio Cornblower

Round 2, an excellent IPA from Connecticut Valley Brewing.
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Horatio Cornblower

There’s a show about Jay Cutler and his wife and Jay is fucking hammered.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s on E!. I was channel-flipping. But this is awesome.

Horatio Cornblower

Direct quote “Drunk Jay is usually the best Jay.”

nomonkeyfun

Was this a quote from a Bears fan, or TyphoidMarryMe?

Unsurprised

Probably Jay himself.

Senor Weaselo

Paging Joel McHale!

Gratliff

Holy shit Dave Batista tripped stepping in the ring and I can’t stop laughing. HALLO BIG HOLLYWOOD ACTOR GUY

Horatio Cornblower

Isn’t he closing in on 50?

Gratliff

Just turned, actually, but that isn’t gonna stop me from crying watching Drax almost die because he didn’t lift his foot high enough

Senor Weaselo

Where/who/why is the turnstile?

Unsurprised

I guess those quick reflexes only work on things above him.

Unsurprised

Hey

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ballsofsteelandfury

Howdy!

theeWeeBabySeamus

She seems nice.

Unsurprised

Candice Swanepoel after having her first kid, I think. Hence how she actually has boobs in this gif.

Gratliff

The Gang Gets Racist
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blaxabbath

J to the R O Muthafuckin’ C

Unsurprised

JFC. It’s definitely white boy day today.

Horatio Cornblower

Let’s all guess how many calories I’m drinking right now…
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ballsofsteelandfury

They’re all delicious, so why bother counting?

Horatio Cornblower

You sir, are a scholar and a gentleman.

Unsurprised

I’ll vouch for the scholar, but I dunno about a gentleman.

ballsofsteelandfury

Now it’s Fiona Apple. The groove is smooth…

ballsofsteelandfury

My whole life I’ve gone between hating David Bowie’s Let’s Dance and liking it.

It’s playing in the pub I’m in right now I have to say I’m liking it.

I’m turning into Make It Snow on Greece.

blaxabbath

What ever happened to that dude?

Horatio Cornblower

Very active on the Twitter.

blaxabbath

Who ran him off? Beerguyrob I bet.

Horatio Cornblower

I think he’s more of an in-season contributor.

blaxabbath

But that’s why we have the AAF!

Oh.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s like we hardly knew them.

Because we didn’t.

Brick Meathook

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blaxabbath

Alma Matter won the WNIT.

I’m not sure if that’s worse than the no postseason for the men.

Wakezilla

Question for Beerguy and other educators/English Majors out there:

Based on a novel I read on WWI, I have an essay question of “Discuss the representation of violence”

What do you think that means? It’s so freaking vague.

Does it mean, how violence causes a shift in the psyche of people?

Or how violence tends to only occur to animals in the novel?

Or is violence just represented in a negative way?

Any help would be appreciated because my distance education English teacher is the worst

Horatio Cornblower

That seems like a very subjective question that depends entirely on what your teacher’s view of the representation of violence was. I’d need to know what the novel was and what was discussed in the class. Otherwise it’s just a bullshit question.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m related to several. We have these discussions all the time.

Brick Meathook

Write about how much you enjoyed the violence, and that now you understand why they called it “The Great War.”

Horatio Cornblower

“In conclusion, the Somme was a land of contrasts.”

Brick Meathook

“Adversity often brings out the finest in men . . . “

Horatio Cornblower

“There once was a man from Nantu…”

Oh, sorry, thought this was my poetry class.

blaxabbath

“What’s so civil about war anyways?”

– W Axl Rose

Redshirt

I would have to know what the novel was about. But as for the “representation of violence”, you can always assume literal violence and implied violence. Feelings, hatred, threats, language.

Everyone knows one of the Ten Commandments is “Thou Shalt Not Kill”. However it is written 1 John 3:15 “Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that eternal life does not reside in a murderer. ” Violence itself doesn’t have to be an action. It can be an attitude. A belief. A way of life.

However I finished college with a 2.5 GPA. Take my advice with a grain of salt and a shot of Jack.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And a lime?

ballsofsteelandfury

“how violence tends to only occur to animals in the novel?”

Was this novel written by Marty Mornhinweg?

Brick Meathook

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Redshirt

Also, include how to do you turn it off. How do you tell someone “Go be an unstoppable killing machine.” and then go “We don’t need you. We’re at peace. Go home.”

I guess that would be “First Blood” or the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode “The Hunted” (3×11)

Horatio Cornblower
Redshirt
Horatio Cornblower

DIDI MAO!!! DIDI MAO!!!!

Unsurprised

War is good for business. So is peace.

Last night I was reminded of the time Rom formed a union at the bar and they went on strike. When Quark offered him an under the table deal to end it like Mr. Burns did to Homer, Rom fucking quotes The Communist Manifesto. Today, we like DS9.

ArmedandHammered

I would take it (and this is probably simplistic), is how did the author justify the violence in the book, was it justified, righteous, or something to be abhorred? Or was the author neutral, just pulling a Joe Friday and giving just the facts maam?

blaxabbath

I’d submit this comment tree as proof that this is a stupid question.

ThurberHerder

I would take it to mean the literal words/prose used to depict acts of violence that take place in the novel. Is it flowery, symbolic language, or cold, distant, and scientific? Are there instances where some violence is related distantly and some are related emotionally/personally? Why did the author decide to portray it in this fashion?

Based on how the question is worded I would focus on 1) How and 2) Why the author decided to make the those decisions. If there’s other literature in the course compare it to the decisions other authors have made and why they made them.

Horatio Cornblower

Hey. New guy.
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Redshirt

That was one hell of a match.

Gratliff

If there is one thing true for both pro wrestling and actual sports, it’s that it being garbage 98% of the time can be instantly forgotten in the truly great moments

Unsurprised

— Andre Rison, upon arriving at what’s left of his home.

Gratliff

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...

Poor Joey. He had but the briefest glimpse of true love, only to be denied.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

STIFFLER’S MOM!!!!
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Horatio Cornblower

Also, holy shit you (non-gender specific) guys!
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Unsurprised

I’m okay with this.

Unsurprised

Is that Amanda Plummer from Pulp Fiction?

Gratliff

Kofi Kingston-Daniel Bryan happening now. If Kofi wins, WWE gets to retcon itself as Not Actually Racist. Those are the rules and Vince takes them very seriously.

Gratliff

But seriously, strap Kofi, you fucking cowards.

LemonJello

THIS GUY GRATLIFF, I CALL THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE BECAUSE HE’S TALKING ABOUT A SPORT I ONLY HAVE A PASSING INTEREST IN, AND IT SOUNDS LIKE HE’S SPEAKING A FOREIGN LANGUAGE.

Gratliff

It stuttered a bit, but picked right back up

...

Imagine Da Vinci’s The Last Supper but awesomer and kick-asser:
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...

It’s just so beautiful
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LemonJello

Suitable for framing.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It really is magnificent.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m screaming with joy!
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rockingdog

warriors sporting some sweet jerseys…

https://twitter.com/NBCSWarriors/status/1115052444004655104

Unsurprised

They look slick but I’m lacking context.

yeah right

From 2007, the year they were an 8 seed and beat Dallas a 1 seed.

Homage to the last regular season game at Oracle. They’re going across the bay next year.

Unsurprised

That’s cool

Gratliff

Bills Mafia in WrestleMania form
https://twitter.com/i/status/1115032387036033025

ThurberHerder

And like a scissor lift in the wind, Notre Dame ultimately falls to Baylor

LemonJello

Baylor just wouldn’t take “NO!” for an answer and had their way with their opponent?

litre_cola

Art Briles didn’t see anything.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When I said I wanted some scissoring out of the women from Notre Dame and Baylor, that isn’t exactly what I had in mind.

Brick Meathook

A lot of you have been asking for a picture of my desktop, so . . . here it is. Part of it anyway. Peeking in from frame right is the severed head of a former business rival of mine.

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herodotus450

Now I’m afraid (or… aroused?) by the thought of Brick’s forearm.

Gratliff

Your viewing options tonight are the Country Music Awards or Wrestlemania. One is a bloated, over long mess filled with people pretending to be something they're not. The other is pro wrestling.

*giant MISSION ACCOMPLISHED banner unfurls behind me as confetti falls*

— Juggalocialism (@UweBollocks) April 8, 2019

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

LemonJello

Which one has the more outlandish outfits?

Gratliff

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LemonJello

Country Music Awards. Got it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wrestlemania and CMA’s went head to head? Talk about cannibalizing your own audience.

...

Eric is good people and, quite often, right.

Brick Meathook

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LemonJello

Professor X and Cerebro, circa 1951?

Brick Meathook

1947

Horatio Cornblower

“racism, sexism, & Shane McMahon” Add Pestilence and the NWA’s 4 Horsemen are back, baby!

yeah right

Three solid hours of kitchen work for next week’s Sunday Gravy and the hard part is done. Now I’ve got an hour to appreciate National Beer Day before the final assembly.

Serious fucking work today.

It’s gonna be so fucking worth it.

LemonJello

Tonight is the sprots equivalent of the windswept moonscape of Wichita. Maybe.

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Gratliff

Somebody probably paid 1000+ for these seats and those lights stay on whenever a match is taking place
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Just saying….
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Gratliff

Top guys! Who lost to fucking Hawkins and Ryder.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I would not want to be Dash Wilder’s lawyer right now. Oh wait, yes I would – there are many, many billable hours incoming.

Gratliff

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Unsurprised

“He slipped. We have ten thousand eyewitnesses who will corroborate. Are you going to believe them or your lying eyes?”

ballsofsteelandfury

The fucking Nets managed to win, btw. It seems they won’t be happy until ALL of Ian’s sanity is gone.

ballsofsteelandfury

According to ESPN, they’ve also clinched a playoff spot.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Didn’t we already get there a while ago?
Nope, that’s just me.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Let me know when Alexa shows up. And what channel. And what is her favourite flower. And her home address. And her social security number. And when she drops the restraining order against me. And….

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Gratliff

She’s the host, so she’s popping up here and there between matches
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh dear god…5′ 1″ in that dress?
/grabs remote
//wait, that’s not the remote

Horatio Cornblower

///tWBS’s garage door opens and closes repeatedly

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe

herodotus450

I thought Wrestling ended after that 90s Fox special investigative report finally exposed how faaaaaake it is?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Weren’t there also rumors of steroid and HGH use?

Gratliff

Fake news!
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Horatio Cornblower

Wait, pro wrestling is fake!? Next you’ll be telling me that pizza delivery guys aren’t making out like bandits.

Gratliff

Racist ass old grandpa Hulk Hogan opening Mania for some fucking reason so let’s go back to a photoshop OG
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Unsurprised

Fuck the hulk hogan

Gratliff

It is the biggest night of the year for this particular fandom, and I’m disappointed by it before it even begins. It is like everything else that is important to me.

Gratliff

That being said, WWE video package crew remains the undefeated GOAT