Your Sunday Evening Even More Playoff Games Open Thread

What’s up,  kids? It’s your friendly neighborhood Balls of Steel here filling in for BeerGuyRob, who has been called away on duty.

(Read: Taking care of business down at WineWife Country if you know what I mean and I think you do.)

Anyhoo, I just want to point out that Tiger Woods can DIAF. If I could,  I would hire Carl Spackler to give him the Judge Smails treatment:

 

One cut hamstring is all it would take.  Does anyone know any Waffle House waitresses that I can hire to take care of this?

Seriously,  Tiger Woods is the all-time worst.  He’s:

– an asshole

– a cheater

– got horrible taste in skanks

– as black as I am

– undeserving of all the praise he gets.

 

If you think for one minute that the white establishment that runs golf loves Tiger,  you don’t know your institutionalized racism.

He’s the perfect Token

That Zoeller guy that made a comment about watermelon at the Masters wasn’t kidding.  That’s what they really think of him.

Think English people and Indians at the start of the last century.  I just read an article on the 100th anniversary of the massacre at Amritsar and read that the English didn’t think the Indians could govern themselves for 500 years!!

There are some choice paragraphs in there about how essentially the English thought the Indians were subhuman.  It’s delightful reading for a Sunday…

Anyway,  where was I?

Oh yeah,  FUCK TIGER WOODS.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL: all Game 3s
    • Lightning at Blue Jackets – 7:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet360
    • Jets at Blues – 7:30PM | CNBC / CBC
    • Sharks at Golden Knights – 10:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet1
  • NBA:
    • Pistons at Bucks – 7:00PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
    • Jazz at Rockets – 9:30PM | TNT / TSN
  • MLB:
    • Mets at Braves – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
  • MLS Soccer:
    • Sporting KC vs. New York Red Bulls – 7:00PM | FS1
    • Seattle vs. Toronto FC – 10:00PM | TSN2
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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Gratliff

This is delicious.
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ALXMAC
Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook
ALXMAC
Wakezilla

Kristin Cavallari says Jay Cutler unclogged her milk ducts by “sucking harder than he’s ever sucked”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Challenge….Accepted.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe

theeWeeBabySeamus

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ALXMAC

I just watched the Susperia remake last night and this was pretty much what the plot was

theeWeeBabySeamus

I know it sounds horrible, but trust me….
Peanut Butter topped with yellow mustard is a good sandwich.

BC Dick

Peanut butter and pickle too

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Mr. Ayo

The iditarod has really changed.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Suck it again, San Jose.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

Gratliff

God bless Jonah Ryan

Gratliff

“. . . the African Nation…”
“African-AMERICAN Nation”
“…the African Nation of Niger
“Jesus Christ, your’e standing right next to him”

yeah right

Quin Snyder is the best Dick Tracy villain ever.

We’re not gonna take this see!
We’re not gonna stand for this see!

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

Look at those jars. They’re exactly the same! Both were made at the same giant peanut factory!

Also, on both labels: WARNING CONTAINS PEANUTS

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theeWeeBabySeamus

One has a red top, one has a yellow top.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Also, Sandy Koufax is distracting me.

Mr. Ayo

Who’s the dead guy?

Brick Meathook

Sandy Koufax isn’t dead

theeWeeBabySeamus

His left or my left?

Mr. Ayo

Sandy’s right

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah he’s always right.
Dammit, now I’m just more confused.

yeah right

Sandy’s a leftie

theeWeeBabySeamus

Is it just me or are they just not calling offsides in this game?

Mr. Ayo

I only watch for the fights, so I have no idea.

theeWeeBabySeamus

THEY CALLED ONE!!!!!!

Brick Meathook

I once went to a hockey game and a NASCAR race broke out

Fronkenshteen

I STILL haven’t seen the goddamn puck crossing the goal line on San Jose’s goal; and I’ve seen the replay twenty times.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL…

Kathryn Tappen….DAT ASS!!!!!

Fronkenshteen

Hiya boys! How’s the action? I done good today. We ran a smooth brunch, just what the doctor ordered. Then I came home, gave my wife a much needed break and danced around with the baby till he was chilled out, and THEN made yeah right’s corn & green chili chowder. It’s fucking amazing, REALLY amazing.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Really thought “gave my wife a much needed” was going to be followed by a different word/phrase.

ballsofsteelandfury

We think so much alike…

Fronkenshteen

So did she

yeah right

Thanks man. It’s a really solid recipe and I’m glad you liked it.
Sweet, heat smoky savory. All the notes.

Keep dancing.

Spur
theeWeeBabySeamus

Haha. Suck it San Jose.

Mr. Ayo

Not so fast.

But yes, they can eat shit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Neither side is defending well. This game ought to be like 6-4 already.
The rest should be interesting.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL…. “Please welcome to the ice…Darnell….”
Yeah I’m out.

Brick Meathook

Fuck “all-natural” peanut butter. It’s more like peanut soup. I tried the Whole Foods 365 Peanut Butter and that shit would just separate into oil and peanut mush and never mix properly. If I stored it upside down it would all be stuck to the lid.

Let’s compare WF365 with Kroger brand Honey Creamy Peanut Spread (2 TBSP serving each):

WF365: 200 calories, Total Carbs: 7g, Sugars: 1g
Kroger: 190 calories, Total Carbs:10g, Sugars: 7g

WF365 ingredients: Dry roasted peanuts, salt
Kroger ingredients: Peanuts, sugar, fully hydrogenated vegetable oil, more sugar, honey

VERDICT: WF365 Peanut Butter is basically pre-chewed dry roasted peanuts. Kroger Brand Creamy Roasted Peanut Spread is a product, a medley, a work of art. While I was writing this I ate the whole jar with a spoon. Winner!

The Contestants:
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herodotus450

So Big Corn got to you too, eh?

Brick Meathook

Big Rapeseed

Gratliff

The only good one is JIF Natural which means it’s almost certainly not natural

theeWeeBabySeamus

You still got Krogers?
They shut ’em all down here.

Brick Meathook

Kroger owns half the grocery chains in America

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yep, I know. But here they either shut ’em all down or got bought out.
In Arizona, Fry’s was my local store. Also owned by Kroger.

rockingdog

stay back he has blue eyes!!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– K. Kardashian

Gratliff

ok so this is like white black panther with the family stuff but also if michael b jordan fucked his aunt?

— Desus Nice (@desusnice) April 15, 2019

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

theeWeeBabySeamus

At least Winnipeg is finally figuring it out.

litre_cola

Still not moving back.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sup

theeWeeBabySeamus

My blood pressure?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Deep breathing and blocking people on your phone should help

theeWeeBabySeamus

I was actually considering resuming drinking heavily.
Bad Idea?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Right now? Yes it’s a bad idea.

Mr. Ayo

Great idea actually. Do it.

Gratliff

Take a quick break from GoT to laugh at the Lightning

herodotus450

In the books, Columbus’ play was much better foreshadowed smh

rockingdog

yoooo jon snow be riding a dragon…..

The Maestro

Nah, he already fucked Dany last season… 😉

herodotus450

Tampa deserves to lose for not using my suggestion “Vasilevctomy” every time they pull their goalie.

rockingdog

Found a funny:
Leak the Mueller Report during Game of Thrones you cowards

theeWeeBabySeamus

Now watch, when Columbus gets the empty netter, TB will put the goalie back in net.
Which makes no fucking sense.

Brick Meathook

I guess it was Big Titty Day down at the local Ralphs this afternoon. Young ones, old ones, and just sort of middle-aged ones: they were up high, stuck out, wrapped tight, and on display.

rockingdog

what part of L.A.?

Brick Meathook

That was the El Segundo Ralphs, where all the movie stars and Boeing employees shop.

theeWeeBabySeamus

/has HS girls’ beach volleyball photos from El Segundo
//as god is my witness I thought they were college girls
///still has not deleted the photos

yeah right

That’s my Ralph’s.

Brick Meathook

That’s the Sunday Gravy Ralphs!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I would not want to have to be the one to drop the puck on a faceoff.
Good way to lose a finger.

Col. Duke LaCross

Watching that Bronn scene with my buddy, his wife and their sixteen year old boy. I’m about to piss myself laughing at the look on their faces.

The Maestro

“That fookin’ family.”

rockingdog

“you want a whore, buy one. You want a queen, earn her.”

The Maestro

sly glance

yeah right

I’ll be going radio silent soon for Game of Thrones but just chiming in to say that next week’s Sunday Gravy is going to be the balls.

DAMN that was delicious.

herodotus450

(Please be metaphorical balls. please be metaphorical balls. please be metaphorical balls)

ballsofsteelandfury

– Me

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO

Brick Meathook

Sometimes the bullfighter wins, and sometimes the bull wins.

Gratliff

I hear that HBO Go is crashing endlessly. The one time where living with a crazy person who actually pays for cable pays off.

rockingdog

“what do dragons eat anyway?”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Anything they want.

The Maestro

“Whatever they want.”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Great minds.

Spur

Danny: Ginger Cunts

theeWeeBabySeamus

What’s up with Tampa Bay? Did they just play the Coyotes all year or what?

theeWeeBabySeamus

In about six minutes they’re gonna pull the goalie, then this will get worse for them.

Mr. Ayo

Their ten fans must be really worried now.

theeWeeBabySeamus

@Mr.Ayo….I cannot find the photo I mentioned. It is either on a different hard drive I’ve replaced, or I’m just too stupid to remember where it is.

But it is a certain someone getting dressed into a green dress with white polka dots….from almost three years ago. It’s not an untoward photo. Quite the contrary actually. It’s a nice photo. And also our last happy day together.

I’ll keep looking.

Mr. Ayo

No worries.

herodotus450

Callahan is a loose cannon out there, dammit, Cooper wants to take his stick and gloves away but he’s the best damn cop they’ve got and he knows it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

But can she make the throw to first while her helmet is falling off?
She actually looks like she could.

litre_cola

Oh yeah she is turning 2 and then spitting her chaw out.

Gratliff

Dope ass iron throne intro