Your “Get Off My Damn Lawn!” Saturday Evening Open Thread

It’s 4/20 this weekend, and this shit is being played live withing listening distance of my house:

As has been established, I’m a drinker, not a toker,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVmNpRPoRaE

so, I’ve fucked off to my brother’s in Seattle, with the good scotch. Hope y’all are having a good long weekend.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Jets at Blues – 7:00PM | NBCSN / CBC / Sportsnet
    • Hurricanes at Capitals – 8:00PM | NBC / Sportsnet1
  • NBA:
    • Bucks at Pistons – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Rockets at Jazz – 10:30PM | ESPN / TSN
  • MLB:
    • Dodgers at Brewers – 7:00PM | FS1
  • MLS:
    • Toronto FC vs. Minnesota – 8:00PM | TSN2
    • Orlando vs. Whitecaps FC – 10:00PM | TSN2

I’m coming home Sunday afternoon, too late to help clean; just in time for family dinner. THE PERFECT CRIME!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

My 420 story:

Growing up I asked my mom what was the meaning of Passover. She told me it was when God passed over the earth.

We still laugh about it to this day.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is a LOT of bong hits.

Senor Weaselo

“Don’tcha wish your shepherd girl was hot like me?” -Nefertiri

WCS

Nefertiri can tend to my flock whenever she pleases.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL

theeWeeBabySeamus

@Brick Meathook, I’ve been going thru my father’s old stuff. I think I have something you might be interested in having. I’ll email you to get an address, if you want it.

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Brick Meathook

Is that aluminum? Yeah I love stuff like that. I had a cheap plastic E-6B back in the day and I don’t even know where it is anymore.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ll email you tomorrow for an address and get it shipped.

Brick Meathook

This was next to me yesterday afternoon, at the intersection of Lincoln and Manchester near LAX.

Some things to note:

1) The license plate is PSY GLR. Does this mean “pussy galore?” That’s some old dude driving it.

2) Across the street, just out of frame left, is a restaurant that is now renamed and remodeled but used to be a dive bar known as The Fireside; it was the inspiration for Moe’s Tavern on The Simpsons.

3) Two blocks to the left out of frame is Yeah Right’s favorite weed store.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, is Coors Light really the world’s most refreshing beer? And how does one even measure such a thing?
That sounds like false advertising to me.

Senor Weaselo

In that it’s the most like water?

Dunstan

Well, DUH, it’s the COLDEST, so it only stands to reason.

Brick Meathook

How do you measure how “crisp” a beer is?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It is very refreshing to pour that shit down the toilet.

Senor Weaselo

Hooray, the Draft will be on AB… DOOOOOOOON’T CAAAAAAAAAARE.

Dunstan

They’re playing Laura Branigan in St. Louis, and I am all in favor.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Gloria or…um…uh…that other song?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Did she do “Hell is for Children”?

/looks it up

//oh, no, that’s Pat Benatar. Sorry, Pat.

Dunstan

Self Control probably the best, with a weird 80s video to boot:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=za5tFh99VjA

theeWeeBabySeamus

Don’t get me started on Pat Benatar.
Aw dammit….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuPFhDQRKzw

Dunstan

I love all my 80s ladies. Branigan, Benatar, Sheena Easton, Go-Gos, Bangles, Joan Jett….

theeWeeBabySeamus

I concur.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Caps go up 3-0 on a really weird play. Should have been a 3 line violation.
But I’ll take it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nope, replay shows it was legal.

Senor Weaselo

“Get your hands off me, you damn dirty ape! Wait, shit, wrong movie, can we do that again?” -Charlton Heston as Moses, in the scene he is brought to the pharaoh in chains

Dunstan

The idea of supporting “a Canadian team” is stupid. Maaaaybe the rest of Canada would get behind the Jets, because nobody really hates them and they went without a team for so long, but that’s a moot point now.

Senor Weaselo

At no point do they say “Cower before the wrath of my Egyptian Rage,” and that’s a problem.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Pizza will be here soon.

Dunstan

I’ve got dinner in the oven, and yet I still went “hmmm… pizza.” Such is its power.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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This is great cleaner for when you murder someone in their sleep.

Dunstan

People have been wondering why I keep throwing out mattresses

Unsurprised

Shitter was full.

Unsurprised

It’s a shame they couldn’t get Brynn Hartman’s endorsement.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay, I’m back.

Mr. Ayo

Alright, let’s fuck up some time lines!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

They did that on Jackass!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

One or the other said “That looks like a good idea to try!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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The Maestro

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Senor Weaselo

Ice BFIB using the Schwartz tonight

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dunstan

I haven’t seen Jets go down like this since Boeing introduced the Max

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

sheeeeesh Padres have lost 5 in a row…..
already down 1-0

Mr. Ayo

Caps year!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I thought that was last year??????

Mr. Ayo

*another

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

lower case year!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

PP Gooooooaaaalllll!
There ya go Caps!!!!

herodotus450

I ate some broccoli once, does that count as a weed story?

rockingdog

Yup!

ballsofsteelandfury

My 420 story:
One year, don’t remember when, I went with my Raiders fans friends to Oakland to watch the Raiders play the Steelers. The Raiders were HORRIBLE that year and only won two games the entire season.

This one was one of them.

The entire stadium smelled of weed.

I don’t remember much else.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

Think it’s pretty cool that the Denver Nuggets are wearing their “Mile High” jerseys on 420.

That is NOT a coincidence.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

My Funny 420 Story-

“I’ll admit it it. I was super jealous of the other two buildings and I didn’t even have explosive charges wrapped around my foundations! Anyway, I decided I wouldn’t be shown up by those front-running bastards. I did it all by myself. No one will ever know the truth!”

-Building #7

theeWeeBabySeamus

My sad 420 story…
I ain’t got no weed this year.
But my weedlings have sprouted and have been put in the soil.
And I’ve got beer.

Let’s go Caps!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

That’s a good sponge!

theeWeeBabySeamus

The foot in the cooch is a nice touch.

Unsurprised

Sponge-worthy

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m not sure if it was even referred to as 420 in 1974.

scotchnaut

My Funny 420 Story-

I convinced a bunch of my shithead Bro buddies to invest into my completely bogus TB12 venture. Can’t believe the whole scheme hasn’t collapsed yet. Just a matter of time though.”

-Tom B.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Funny 420 Story:

Some guys was driving in a country town high when they were pulled over. They were arrested, but because this was a country town in the 1990s and they had violent criminal record, they were given a court summons and released of their own recognizance. One of them saw the drugs on the table and decided to take it home with them. The cops called them to remind them they weren’t supposed to take the evidence, so they’ll be sending a squad car over to pick it up. The problem is, they already smoked it all. So they had to quickly go to their dealer to replace the evidence they smoked.

And that’s how they had to buy drugs for the cops.

Unsurprised

What evidence?

Don T

My 420 story:
I knew weed was for me when I blazed up, got paranoid, and thought “smoking more will relax me”.
Plus the music / movie thing OF COURSE.

yeah right

I went through an era in the 80’s where I would drop acid and go to the movies. I saw Apocalypse Now, Monte Python’s Meaning of Life, The Who The Kids are alright, the first Mad Max, Alien – where I almost shit myself in fear, The Blues Brothers etc. We drove 45 miles to see the original Ghostbusters and I was so fucking high I saw giant rips in the sky.

Later I would rent movies and trip balls at home.
I get the movie thing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I saw The Exorcist on acid and we all laughed our asses off. Split pea soup still cracks me up.

yeah right

I thought I was going to have a seizure when I saw The Life of Brian tripping. Still one of my favorites.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That movie gets me high, straight, and after so many watching still.

Senor Weaselo

Evening lizard people. Is this our 15 Commandments liveblog?

Redshirt

My 420 Story:

This may come to a shock to you all, but I’ve never smoked pot. This has something to do with the fact that I don’t know anyone who sells it and any sellers would take one look at me and instantly scream-think “narc”.

However in college while studying for a Chemistry 121 final exam I had no business passing, I walked to clear my head and passed by a group of people with a weird smell. Thirty minutes later, I had a sudden craving for a Meatball Sub at 12:30 AM. My roommate confirmed that I most likely got a “contact buzz”. I continued my studying.

The next day, I was the first person out of 500 people to finish my exam. Next week, I checked my results, I got a B+ in the class.

I aced a Chemistry 121 Final Exam I had no business passing, let alone acing, due to pot.

Senor Weaselo

You have not had two whole marijuanas?

Redshirt

Nope. Closest I had was CBD oil.

Don T

That’s inspiring.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

“Back in the heyday of these flappers, a ‘Nip Slip’ was a term describing a Jap getting into the U.S. undetected.”

-Bill Parcell’s voiceover for PBS’s “We’ll Come Right Out And Say It-Foreigners Suck!”

Col. Duke LaCross

Holy shit!

scotchnaut

My 420 story-

A buddy of mine was stealing small amounts of his older brother’s stash and we were trying to get high but it wasn’t happening. We were frustrated because we’d heard all kinds of good things.

Star Wars finally came to our shitty little cinema (about 3 years after the initial release). We hot-boxed in a small tree house and went to the show. We sat in the very first row and when the spaceship came across the screen at the beginning I gripped the armrests and hoped that I wouldn’t be sucked into the screen by the ship’s backdraft. Best. Movie. Ever.

Redshirt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEB6ibtdPZc

I saw this music video in line at Kings Island. It was a long six hours for me to go home and figure out what the hell I just watched.

herodotus450

aaaaaaand the Blues score 20 seconds in. These Jets I call them the Boeing 737 Max cause they are done for.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m gonna go blaze up. I’ll be back in a few minutes.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I honestly think this Harold and Kumar F**k Up the Timeline idea I mentioned on the other thread has legs. I am going to try to move forward with this.

/man, if I think it’s a good idea now, just wait ten minutes until I’m actually high!

yeah right

I first started blazing up in the late 70’s. I didn’t continually smoke, took a decade off here and there but now?

Sheeeit!

I remember back in the 70’s and early 80’s we would smoke and tell each other “This shit is just another prohibition, man! We’re gonna see this shit LEGALIZED in our lifetimes, man!”

We were some smart motherfuckers.

scotchnaut

/still watching Predator

It’s early, so I must assume that Jesse has time to bleed right now.

herodotus450

A response, Mr Body?
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Oh.

herodotus450

If Winnipeg loses tonight, just pack up the whole franchise and move it to New Mexico, I say.

rockingdog
Brick Meathook

My collection of Zippo lighters. All four have been used to ignite marijuana:

A) 1983 solid brass, inscribed with the logos etc. of the Canadian submarine HMCS Ojibwa. I got this while visiting the Ojibwa in Halifax in 1983, and I traded my dolphins for this lighter. They had beer on board the Ojibwa but no torpedoes; we had nuclear weapons but no beer. The Ojibwa is now a museum ship in Ontario.

B) 1999 brass plated steel. This was my long-time go to lighter when I smoked cigarettes and wanted to look even cooler by using a Zippo. The Zippo lighter is the greatest thing since the invention of fire back in the 16th century, but if you keep it in your pocket you’ll get a rash on your thigh from the slight fuel leakage. Store them upright.

C) 2008 Super shiny chrome Nat Sherman lighter. I bought this at the Nat Sherman store in NYC near Grand Central Terminal.

D) 2015 World War II style black crinkle-finish, purchased at the actual Zippo factory in Bradford PA in 2015. I’ve always loved the crinkle-finish on old American steel machinery and always wondered why it ever went away. Some modern crinkle-finishes are pretty poor (the texture is too big) but this Zippo is perfect. Just right. Also, during World War II, particularly in Europe, the U.S. Army ran exclusively on high-octane aviation gasoline because it simplified the supply logistics if they only had to stockpile one kind of fuel. AvGas powered all the airplanes, tanks, trucks, jeeps, etc., and all the Zippo lighters too.

I rarely smoke pot but I will today. I’ll use one of these, probably the ’99 workhorse.

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Brick Meathook

Note the hinge on the black lighter; it is a four-barrel hinge, not five, 1941-style.

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