Beyond Infinite Nets Game 86: “Well, damn.”

Part of following the Nets all year long has meant that while I could decide to live my life, the Brooklyn Nets also exist, and continue playing games regardless of my personal schedule. Were I not bound to this column, I could act like a normal person, spend a day in Westchester with my wife and daughter, and merely catch up with the scores on my phone in the small refractory moments of relief after she had passed out for her daily nap. But seeing the score would mean knowing the outcome. And once you know the outcome, can you really enjoy watching to see how it all shook out? Or will you just use it as an excuse to lay on the FFWD button in an attempt to get this over with.

And then at 5:30 pm, I get the text from a friend and longtime reader.

Well, damn.

Well, damn can mean anything. It could mean a 40 point blowout, or a buzzer beater. I told him that I was DVRing the game and don’t know what happens, and he said he’d just checked the final score. But now it was burrowed into my mind.

When I was in college, I had a friend who was kind of an idiot, but a good guy. A drummer who had gotten over a whole rave phase, and had battled with addictions to ecstasy and ketamine. The kind of guy who had a tongue stud and mentioned that he used to let guys go down on him for money, even though let’s face it, he’s the guy with the tongue stud. I don’t know if any of these details are pertinent to the story, but they do paint a picture, do they not? Anyway, he’d just watched the classic M. Night Shyamalan movie Unbreakable, and before I saw it, he’d assured me that he wouldn’t ruin the movie, but that the twist ending was fucking sick, man. This was before everybody picked up on the fact that MNS was prone to twist endings, but knowing that there would be one, I was able to suss out that the comic book expert who frequently described all villains as having looked pretty much exactly as him, was really the secret bad guy. Knowing there was a twist ending, ruined the ending. I never told him I figured it out. The guy got oddly emotional over the slightest shit, and I didn’t want it to accidentally become a thing. Have you ever had a guy with chest glitter poke you in the ribs and accuse you of not being a real friend? I have. I got to give it up to him though, the guy was a pretty mean drummer.

Anyway, I got home having successfully tuned out any radio banter that might have mentioned the results of the game, parallel parked into a space that I should not have been able to fit into, put my daughter to bed, and watched the game with my dad, who came down for Easter to check out the new apartment. Did you all watch the game? It was pretty intense.

The Nets decided to dedicate roughly 25% of their plays to guys attempting to lob Jarrett Allen alley oops. Sometimes they went down. Other times they did not. After a while it kind of got to be predictable, but Jarrett Allen really doesn’t have many offensive moves so it’s kind of the only way to feed the 7 footer. There was no Ed Davis. Rodions Kurucs was said to be available off the bench, but I never saw him. Instead I saw an odd amount of action from Jared Dudley (No offense meant. I really, really like Jared Dudley), DeMarre Carroll, Rondae Hollis-Jefferson, and of course my favorite, Treveon Graham. It’s not ideal if your goal is to even a series, but the Nets stayed in it. A part of me hoped that “Well, damn.” meant that the Nets had blown them out of the goddamn water, but as enough time passed, I knew that wouldn’t be the case. I feared that Philly might blow them out of the water, but again, those fears subsided.

Then in the 3rd quarter there was a fiiiiiiiight. Sort of. I mean, punches weren’t actually thrown. But people got shoved. I know. Serious business. How did we get here?

Well noted piece of trash Joel Embiid threw down a pretty hard foul on Jarrett Allen, a guy he’d previously elbowed in the goddamn mouth and was unable to get through apologizing to through the media without laughing. You know, as one does. Anyway, if it were anybody else, doing it to anybody else, I would have argued that he was committing a hard foul while making a play on the ball. But given that Embiid is a noted shithawk, Jared Dudley took exception and bumped him. After the play was blown dead. Fuuuuuuuck. Then Jimmy Butler crashed into him, a bunch of guys fell down, and fouls were assessed. Embiid got the usual Flagarant 1, Jimmy Butler and Jared Dudley got ejected. All in all, that’s a pretty good trade as far as Brooklyn should be concerned. For all I knew that’s what “Well, damn.” could have meant.

But in my heart I knew that it wasn’t. The Nets never used the Butler-free stretch to stake out any real advantage. They hovered about 6 points in front, letting Philly lurk. I knew something was going to happen. And in my heart, I knew how it would end. With a dagger. And as Philly inbounded the ball with 25 seconds, down one, I knew something bad was coming. A quick three put the Nets down two with 18 to play. The Nets were a team built for a three. “Well, damn.” did not mean they were going to OT. It meant that it was going down right now. Would they fire off a three to win the game and even the series?

They would not. Jarrett Allen got the ball way too far away from the rim to do anything good, turned the ball over with four seconds to go, and the Nets lost the game.

After the game, Embiid and Butler laughed at Jared Dudley in the press conference, with Joel calling him a nobody. See, there’s the reality to confronting a bully. Sometimes you take a stand only to get savaged anyway. Sometimes all the fight and heart and want and grit doesn’t mean a damn thing when faced with talent and physicality. Even if that means that the bad guys win.

Well, damn.

The Brooklyn Nets trail the Philadelphia 76ers 3-1 in the first round of the Eastern Conference playoffs.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Ian Scott McCormick
Ian is a New Yorker, a father, a husband, a sports fan. He covers a variety of subjects but really only appreciates burgers and cola.
https://ianscottmccormick.com/
Subscribe
Notify of
74 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
BrettFavresColonoscopy

You know what they say, sometimes you win, and sometimes life just rips your heart out whether or not you deserve it.

rockingdog

Kirby Yates with the save. Padres end the loosing streak and get the win.
Go team!
Couple big games against the Mariners this week. Hopefully the offense shows up….
comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Weren’t we already over our Padres fan quota?

Gratliff

I know we all justifiable want to watch the Maple Leafs fail, but can we all agree that Boston fans deserve exactly zero more good sport moments?

Dunstan

Indubitably.

My main reason for preferring a Boston win this round is that a first-round victory will mean less to the spoiled Bruins fans than it would to the Leafs.

rockingdog

good stuff!!! padres up early 4-1 against the Reds.
really need to end this loosing streak….

King Hippo

104 mph for strike three, and #BFIB take 2 of 3 from the Dirt Jets WOO!!!

rockingdog

clippers hitting shots.
we got a close game!!!!

rockingdog

klay thompson feeling it early..

scotchnaut

[feeling it after the drugs kick in]

-Bill Cosby

Senor Weaselo
rockingdog
Gratliff

The series has not gone well for Jared Dudley.
comment image

Gratliff

And while I have only a passing interest in the NBA, few things bring me as much pure joy as the set-up 3 pt air ball.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-z4EFHDEGo

rockingdog

good one!

rockingdog

walked to the corner store and got some snacks.
smoked a little weed….ready to watch this warriors game.
go dubs!

Senor Weaselo

NAILED IT! -Chad Green and Adam Ottovino

scotchnaut

[obsessively combs elaborate beard]

“Haven’t seen a single transgender wolf-adjacent individual during this entire Beverly Hills Dog Show. iT’s a gReaT pRoGRam, ThOuGh.”

-SJW fella

scotchnaut

*SPOILER*

Ray Rice’s Doberman Puncher didn’t finish in the top ten.

King Hippo

Janay apologizes for this inexcusable performance

theeWeeBabySeamus

There are literally dozens of fans in the stands in Baltimore.

scotchnaut

The remaining Oriole fans are oscillating as to stay or go.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dude, I agreed to pay $520 to the girl formerly known as tWLS to keep the rights to her share of a season ticket. Obviously before we went down the toilet. I’ve given two of the pairs away for free to friends in Baltimore just so I don’t have to pay for hotels four times. Still have Yanks in May and Nats in July. Can’t get rid of ’em.

I’m really excited to pay $120 a night for hotels to watch these chumps. /sarcasm

But I am gonna throw batteries at Gary Sanchez, so I got that going for me.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Chris Davis just struck a guy out.
Oh wait, it was him.

scotchnaut

#oversharing #wordy

Senor Weaselo

Well you tried, but instead they went right past him because he forgot how to block.

scotchnaut

“Nobody remembers who comes in second.”

-A Silver Retriever

Dunstan

This rule also applies to gang bangs.

scotchnaut

NBC Network: “Okay, advertisers-time for roll call for The Beverly Hills Dog Show.”

Purina: “HERE!”

Pets 2 Trailer: “HERE!”

The Pioneer Woman Dog Treats: “HERE!”

Dog Dating App: “HERE!”

Lucas Oil Products: “HERE!”

[everyone turns towards last advertiser]

Lucas Oil Products: “I.. umm… [light goes on] The dogs walk in circles just like the race cars do!”

[whispered exchanges]

NBC Network: “Goddamn it! Get in here, ya big lug.” [gives Lucas Oil Products a nuggie]

theeWeeBabySeamus

In news that will not surprise anyone, Chris Davis just ground out to first on weak ground ball.
And literally….LITERALLY….the Twins had so much of a shift on there was no one on the left side of the infield. He could have bunted up the third base line and gotten a double.

If you’re earning $17 million a year, why can’t you fucking learn to go the other way??????

Senor Weaselo

Well he can strike guys out.

theeWeeBabySeamus

He strikes one guy out regularly.
Oh wait…that’s him.

scotchnaut

“The Non-Sporting Group? I say, so these dogs don’t have a sense of humour? Pity!”

-A British announcer

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dangit, I need to go the ATM.
comment image

Also need to buy some hand sanitizer.

rockingdog

found a funny:
[last supper]

Waitress: what can I get you

Jesus: we’ll have one fish and one loaf of bread

Judas: I’ll have the spaghetti and meatballs

Jesus: *glaring* and a round of waters

Judas: and a coke

Jesus: *mouthing* you’re dead to me, traitor

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

rockingdog

finished up my art for school just in time to catch the start of the celtics game.

scotchnaut

Poon is missing from the Hound group.

scotchnaut

Newfoundland breed owners-rumour has it they still haven’t figured out the recipe for ice cubes.

Dunstan

Careful with the Newfie jokes, or else the Codfather will make you an offer you can’t understand.

scotchnaut

Whoa. That judge’s finger was a little too close to that Schnauzer’s butthole.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, you haven’t lived until you’ve charged $10 bucks to empty some anal glands.

scotchnaut

Stupid pet owners. You would have given them $50 to do the very same thing. smgdh

theeWeeBabySeamus

To the owner maybe.
Depends upon how nice her anus was.

theeWeeBabySeamus

9/10….would pay $50
Maybe even more.
comment image

King Hippo

I have made 14,008 posts on the Everton board in my lifetime. Good thing I don’t believe in re-assessing my life priorities…

litre_cola

Dating back to KSK I wonder how much time wr have all spent together.

scotchnaut

If you’ve been dating that long, I suggest you put on a ring on it.

theeWeeBabySeamus
scotchnaut

Let’s agree to disagree. Here’s a peace offering-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJLhKd9yoO8

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL

scotchnaut

Apparently you can’t train a top-end Toy breed if you have a BMI of less than 30. Who knew?

theeWeeBabySeamus

1/3rd inning in, Orioles already behind 1-0.
100 losses or bust!!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

2/3rd inning in, 2-0.
Even Jesus wouldn’t put up with this.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jesus, the Celtics look good so far.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

RTD: Man, this old patio umbrella frame is too big to put into the garbage. How am I gonna get rid of this thing?

also RTD: Man, I sure would like one of those clothesline umbrella things…

[lightbulb goes on]

scotchnaut

[lightbulb goes on]

Sooo… you’ve got the clap?

scotchnaut

Beverly Hills Dog Show, NBC, right now! I believe their motto is “Westminister Can Suck It!”.

King Hippo

saw a preview during the Lesser Footy, and I was like oh noes, we have another “conversion to The Larnin’ Channel” going on.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So what country would it be funniest for the U.S. to be a vassal state to? Someplace tiny and obscure, like Tonga? Or someplace familiar like Ireland or Scotland?

King Hippo

anything would be better than being a Russian oblast

/sign me up for Canadia province

Game Time Decision

Not sure you’re ready to be a province. We’ll set you up as a territory on probation first and go from there.

King Hippo

harsh but fair

Game Time Decision

Mexico and then make Trump pay for his own damn wall….

King Hippo

ah mean, we due noe how 2 b a corrupt petro-state ,, smh

Gratliff

Would gladly rep for King Haku.
https://www.thesportster.com/wrestling/top-15-insane-stories-that-prove-menghaku-was-the-toughest-wrestler-ever/

Heenan once witnessed Meng get into a bar fight where the wrestler “took his two fingers on his right hand – his index finger and trigger finger – and he reached into the guy’s mouth and he broke off the guy’s bottom teeth.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The most disappointing part of that Nets game was how they managed to sabotage themselves by throwing away not one but TWO inbounds passes down the stretch. It would have been a lot more fun to have three more games of this to look forward to.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s the most frustrating part of watching the Nets period. There are plays to be made and sometimes they make them and sometimes they sabotage themselves. You never know which it will be.

King Hippo

OT, but mad props to NBCSN for sticking with the Goodison crowd a full 2-3 minutes after the final whistle, allowing me to hear the crowd roar And if you know your history! from the club anthem.

Special Easter for a Blue. Too bad Wakey never took me up on my proposed #ShameBet.

King Hippo

Game 5 needs to be about BLOOD FOAR TEH BLOOD GODS, and nothing but.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It will be known in history books as “Hell by the Bell”.