NFL Nuggets:
-
Relive the majesty. Likely solely brought in for the inevitable headlines when he was cut, the Bears have indeed cut Chris Blewitt from their kicker competition at camp, after only one day.
- During a photo-op, all three kickers they brought in to camp for trials – Blewitt, Eddy Pineiro, & Elliott Fry – missed consecutive kicks from 42-yards.
- Only five more and they’ll equal Cody Parkey’s total number of misses from last season.
- Meanwhile, Robbie Gould continues to sit out Niners camp due to his franchise tag.
- During a photo-op, all three kickers they brought in to camp for trials – Blewitt, Eddy Pineiro, & Elliott Fry – missed consecutive kicks from 42-yards.
- Seahawks news, because my feed is full:
- Shaquem Griffin is going to be upgraded this season.
- He will move off special teams and into the pass rush rotation as an edge rusher.
- Pete Carroll expects convicted insider trader Mychal Kendricks to be on the roster sometime this season.
- It doesn’t hurt that his sentencing hearing has been delayed multiple times, giving Carroll hope he might be eligible to play a good part of the season.
- Also, ol’ Rog can’t do anything until the courts make up their minds. So Carroll is playing with house money.
- Based on the size of the illegal trades, Kendricks – even with a plea – is looking at between 30-37 months in prison.
- Also house money – Kendricks’ deal. According to ESPN:
- It doesn’t hurt that his sentencing hearing has been delayed multiple times, giving Carroll hope he might be eligible to play a good part of the season.
- Shaquem Griffin is going to be upgraded this season.
He received no signing bonus and no guaranteed money. The $4.5 million base value of his deal includes $2 million in per-game active roster bonuses plus two bonuses worth $250,000 apiece that are tied to Kendricks reporting to training camp and being on the 53-man roster in Week 1. He could make an additional $1 million in incentives tied to playing time and sacks, bringing the max value of the deal to $5.5 million.
Finally, the Titans announced late today that they will be retiring the jersey numbers of Eddie George & Steve McNair.
The two of them combined for an 80-48 record in their time at Tennessee.
As the first (mostly) Titans to be given this honour, they will be joining the ranks of retired Oilers jerseys Jim Norton (No. 43), Elvin Bethea (No. 65), Earl Campbell (No. 34), Mike Munchak (No. 63), Bruce Matthews (No. 74), and Warren Moon (No. 1).
If you want to feel old, it’ll be 10 years (July 4, 2009) since Steve McNair was killed.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL: GAME 7, BAY-BAY!
- Blues at Bruins – 8:00PM | NBC / CBC / Sportsnet
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSTyAiCaoG8
- MLB:
- Jays at Orioles – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
- Brewers at Astros – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN3
Hottest day of the year so far, but I still have to wear my Bruins jersey to school.
So, is Internet Dad still alive? Or, did his liver just jump out of his mouth in advance of what’s to arrive?
Headline, morning edition…
BLUES BOOT BRUS, BOOZY BOSTON BRUTES BRUISE BROADS
Kings win Cup.
Boston loses Cup.
My range of hockey reactions are pretty binary.
Fuck the Kings.
I take far more pleasure from Boston losing, trust me. The Kings are just like, hey I used to live near by those guys.
Oldie but goody.
-L. Trotsky, México
Alright, you’re off broadcast TV, turn that mic on. I want to hear more “exaltations.”
Their trainer just gave a “OH FUCK YEAH!”
Yep, and they turned the mic right back off. Ha!
https://twitter.com/yankees6432/status/1135748525856370689
That is awesome.
Portnoy being unhappy is one of the best part of this.
I’d also like to think they he lost a bunch of money on it.
Please tell me Stan Kroenke doesn’t benefit from this.
Nope. He owns the Avs.
God doesn’t exist, but every time a Boston team loses, we all believe he does.
This has to be some kind of record for audible F-bombs in network TV.
Can’t wait for Deadspin’s FCC blog post about it!
FUCKIN’ FUCK!
I haven’t seen anything get kissed this hard by sweaty men since Tom Brady’s kid after the Super Bowl.
I presume Trump will still invite Boston to the White House for celebratory white people food.
So, Big Macs and Whoppers. Again.
Did… Bettman just say the Cup is finally going BACK to the fans of St. Louis?
He sure did!
Bettman’s knowledge of hockey history is on full display right there.
If the Stanley Cup ever disappears know that it is in my attic and will remain there until the Whalers are returned to Hartford.
Oh, and also shut up about it.
THESE BLUES, I CALL THEM A DOMINICAN GUNMAN BECAUSE THEY COULDN’T FINISH THE JOB… is what I was planning on saying if the Bruins won.
Yeah, well, Bill Simmons had 5,000 words written about how he and Jack-Off and House-O and O’Queef FACKING WILLED THE BRUINS TO VICTAHRY!
You could go with
The Bruins were legit as a Dominican birth certificate.
Smart move giving that guy the Conn Smythe; no way anyone named Ryan O’Reilly gets booed in Boston.
Give it to Matt Kelly! (200 drunk Irishmen step forward)
Hell, I might engrave “BOUWMEESTER” on my own goddamn cup. That’s a cool name.
“You’d be surprised how quickly you run out of writing space. Trust me.” — B. Favre
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
I was saying TUUUUU-ka!
Motherfucker had my NHL.tv account auto-resubscribe for NEXT SEASON before this series ended. Cancelled that shit toot sweet. Fucking grifter.
I have to drive to my office tomorrow, which I ordinarily hate, but I am going to have EEI on the entire way, even when it gets staticy, and it is going to be wonderful.
An f-bomb during a hockey interview? Someone please cover my virgin ears.
Thank God a team from America won.
Zdeno Chara is an absolute monster. All respect to that guy.
Fuck Missourah, but as for Boston…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cccJhMVFrLs
Brad Marchand crying justifies every St. Louis cheap shot.
We need a separate camera feed just of his crying face
Oh, thank God.
–no one ever after a Street Louis team did a good
Senor, when the fuck did Michael Del Zotto go to St. Louis??
Somebody please make a .gif of that shot I just saw of Brad Marchand crying. I MUST HAVE IT.
GIVE ME ALL THE CRYING MARCHAND GIFS
Gotta believe that was a too many men on the ice penalty against St. Louis with 1.5 to go.
This is absolutely fucking glorious.
Gloria-us!
Who the fuck leaves Game 7 of a Stanley Cup Final before the end? I don’t care if your team is down 12-0 with :30 to go, you plant your ass in your seat and you stay right there until you have booed the unholy Christ out of Gary Bettman!
Fact.
Amen!
Gotta beat traffic.
“Hopefully they’re worn out before they get home.”
-Wives
As if you really need to ask. We all know the reason we hate boston is the simple fact of how shitty their fans are
And the city and the people and the local climate and the government and …
Where are you when diarrhea strikes?
I just didn’t time the acid right again.
And Christ-you applaud your team for making it to game 7 of the fucking finals!
The Bruins can still hold their heads high-they’re 3.25 times better than the Thai women’s soccer team.
Banner.
Asian women haven’t been involved in something that shameful since Robert Kraft’s last massage.
Well, sorry Scotch, but you just set the record for shortest banner.
NO ONE DENIES THIS
Fuck your duck boats.
“And duck the charges from your fuck boats” — Minnesota Vikings alumni
Don’t knock it; in the right waves it add to the pushing motion.
They legit just cut the game audio at the bar and turned the music back on
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=355Fk8drgZE
Hey, did you all know that Glenn Howerton is an antivaxxer?
The hell you say!
Aw, c’mon. Don’t harsh my buzz.
That is somehow both surprising and not surprising.
So he’s not acting in IASiP.
Starting to look like US-Thailand out there.
AS A BOSTAN FAHN, I AM O-FENNDEDDD AT THE LACK OF CLASS FROM-AH THE BLOOS FANS!
I googled rask to find footage of him giving up goals to the Blackhawks, and i found this, feel bad for laughing:
https://boston.cbslocal.com/2019/06/12/cancer-patient-tuukka-rask-radiation-mask/
How much will you savages give me if I play Gloria at the end if the game on the bar jukebox?
I’m in for $20
Start it now, on repeat.
Not enough to pay your eventual medical bills.
I’ll donate $100 to your estate.
YES
Boston is going to burn to the ground tonight.
Someone run out and get a shitload of salt so we can make sure it doesn’t come back.
Oh, now this is just too delightful
IT’S A BOSTON MASSACRE
BURY THEM!
I just realized that the shaved head lady I saw at that Pride party on Saturday was probably Riley Nixon. Now if I can only figure out who the 6’2″ blonde Russian model is.
NAWT FAYUH! WE DESAHVED THIS AFTAH WE SUFFAHED SO MUCH THIS WEEK WITH DAVID ORTIZ!
So the new rumor is that he was screwing around with a drug lord’s woman and that’s why he got shot. I have no idea if this is true, but it was on the internet so it must be at least reliable.
The song “It’s a Living Thing” makes me think of the final scene in Boogie Nights, which I’m sure is what Pixar’s marketing team was aiming for when they made that ad for Toy Story.
Then you’ll really enjoy when you find out that “I’ve Got A Brand New Pair of Rollerskates” is on the soundtrack.
Well, that’s the ol’ puck game.
Like Eddie Shore. And Toe Blake.
St Louis fans are awful and racist and still preferable to Massholes.
Sorry to anyone insulted by that, even though it’s well-deserved.
Enemy of my enemy and whatnot.
Just make sure you are close to a toilet.
Oh, sorry, ENEMY.
It’s really hard to root for the Blues, who are basically a bunch of jumped up thugs, but then I see Curt Shilling rooting for the Bruins and remember that they pay Marchand and suddenly I’m willing to fuck the St. Louis Arch at high noon on a Sunday if that’s what it takes to send Boston home empty-handed.
I am operating under the assumption that all American hockey fans are equally racist, so that way I don’t have to think about awful people having cause to celebrate.
“Commissioner Bettman has just announced that, as a matter of fairness, games will now be decided by whichever team has the most shots on goal. Effective immediately. Congratulations, Bruins!”
[Sam Adams cries into his beer]
I don’t know the context, but I still find this funny.
OH FACK YEEEEAAAHHHHH