Remember the Bay City Rollers? They were huge for …. like about two weeks I think, back in the 70s. I think I was in third grade at the time. Maybe it was fourth grade.
But anyway, it is Saturday night. And there’s not much going on. Let’s do our best to get through this together.
–
Sports 2Nite
MLB
Regional action….
- Atlanta @ Washington – 7:00pmEDT – TV: FOX
- Houston @ NYY – 7:00pmEDT – TV: FOX
- ColorAdo @ LAD – 7:00pmEDT – TV: FOX
NHL Draft
- Yep, still going on. And it’s still funny that you can’t pronounce the names – 7:00pm – NHLN
And that’s about it.
I suppose you could tune into ESPN2 at 7:30 and watch a replay of Duke/U*NC from this past March. But I don’t know why you would.
And moreover, if you do, King Hippo and I will have to come find you.
No, seriously, we will come find you and hurt you.
And shame your pets. I mean I’ll try to keep Hippo back, but he’s a mean sumbitch. I mean just look at this….
That poor puppy will never be the same.
But you’ve been warned.
DAMMIT HIPPO!!!!!!!
–
OK, Go Try Not To Be Bored
Good Luck.
Imma go get high now. And probably also drunk.
–
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DyziWtkfBw
Pro Tip: Drunken redneck white trash people do not like to be called white trash while partying in the corner of a fast food parking lot.
Yes, I need to learn how to keep my mouth shut sometimes.
But i got mah cheeseburgers.
Fuck, they didn’t give me a straw.
You doing coke?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nveZYvyIERA
I’m hungry. I’m going to the drive thru.
Pick me up a double cheeseburger
@Unsurprised, I’ll probably eat it on the way home. No promises.
@Mr. Ayo, I plan to get hammered when I get back.
I was going to do that. Unfortunately I’ve been drinking for that past 12 hours.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpDQJnI4OhU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Je-CPZRwbh8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfF4t9-wpCM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vN_PEmeKb0
hehehehe…yep, still funny.
Apropos of nothing.
I’m curious what she’s digging for.
And also what she’s chewing.
Also, nice cleavage.
Grade A mid-90s Denise Richards
1) A macguffin. It was an excuse for her to lean over so George could get caught eyefucking her on Seinfeld.
2) Gum
McMuffin? Sure I’ll have two.
Ha ha I know I think it’s legal
I’m not taking it down.
I love the caption. The buck naked guy is the one on the far right. I think we figured that out.
Just saw one of those late night attorney ads talking about gangrene of the genitals and now I want to hang myself.
“Oh you got turned on by that too?” – Michael Hutchence
I just drove like 35 mins to the north end of town to load up river rock (Free!), 35 mins back, and then unloaded it all to a planter in our backyard.
My wife has the weirdest things she thinks need to be done for the house to sell. I’m like, paint the ugly room, patch/paint any holes, and schedule a good cleaner and landscaper. My wife is suddenly maximum focused on the curtain rod brackets and the miscellaneous planters in the back — like, just really time consuming and/or spendy little to-do’s that aren’t going to matter to the sale at all.
At all.
last funny:
It’s weird how no one knows how to dance yet everyone thinks they’re good at sex
For the record, more than one woman has called me “adequate” at sex.
ESPN is showing the women’s double’s cornhole championship.
Man, the jokes just write themselves.
“They utilized the sticky bag really well.”
Really?
Gentlemen, (I believe were currently low on the fairer sex): So here’s how my night went: Trip to the dump. Trip to the gym. Mow lawn which is 3′ because of all the rain. Curse out the sudden rain squall that appears when I’m ten minutes from finishing the lawn. Spend 20 minutes mowing a wet lawn. Friend’s daughter’s graduation party. Beers swapped back and forth among various beer snobs, your truly included. Mrs. Cornblower advises that there are no kids in the house tonight and it would be in my interests to leave the party NOW. Leave the party. Turns out that the lingerie that friends of mine sent Mrs. Cornblower for my birthday fits very well.
/Walk dog/recuperate
HOW THE FUCK YOU DOIN’, BOYS!?
?w=640
Now THAT’S a HELLUVA day!
/slaps Horatio on the ass. Hard!
Eh, it’s been done.
Huzzah!
I have a bat trapped in my garage. And when I say “trapped”, I used the term loosely. Because there’s this gigantic hole, about 24 feet by 8 feet, called the garage fucking door….which is open. And the stupid little shit won’t fly out. He’s just flying around and bumping into things.
So now I gotta go get my niece’s butterfly net, catch him (or her as the case may be) and toss him out.
Fortunately, I am vaccinated for rabies.
Flying mammals are stoopid.
I would watch that on pay per view.
But will he keep texting with the bat after she bites him and leaves?
Jesus, I got rabies from that comment.
Of course. And then he’ll add it to his dating series of blog posts.
With the bat’s name changed for posterity.
You guys are just sooooooo fucking funny.
If the bat looks like this none of us will blame you.
Still break your balls about her? Oh absolutely.
Whoa. I’d definitely catch her in butterfly net and toss her around. Allegedly.
Anywhoooo….
Bat has been caught and banished. Garage door is now closed. Time to get high.
Yeah, I always knew I’d end up running around with a butterfly net just before they showed up with a straitjacket.
I was considering closing the garage door and firing Dave up and just gassing the little jerk with carbon monoxide, then I realized Mom is asleep and her bedroom is just above the garage. It’s probably best I don’t kill mom.
Hey tWBS: You have more flying bat chasing stories than any real person I’ve ever known.
Actually, it’s usually squirrels. I hate living in the sticks.
Squirrels are the worst
15-30 minute wait for carryout? I should wait to order. [Ordered] 26-46 minutes? Damn but ok. [50 minutes later] What. The. Fuck.
One of the lost things in this whole Grubhub, Door Dash shit are the restaurants that deliver themselves. We ordered delivery from our local Chinese restaurant and it was here hot and fresh and delicious in 20 minutes.
They know us and we always tip very well so that helps.
I only order from restaurants that deliver. Otherwise, I pick up the order. Fuck doordash and grubhub.
I’ve never been disappointed by Postmates.
This was me picking up
Seconded.
I’m gonna wait an hour for a delivery where you’re gonna add on $10 in fees? And all so that, when there is an issue, Grubhub shrugs and says it’s the restaurant and the restaurant says Grubhub is just all fucked up.
We have such a tiny kitchen here — I’m so stoked for the real kitchen in our new place.
Damn skippy.
Awkward boner.
One 450mg CBD gummy engaged.
Make it so!
Hell yeah!
To answer your question from below, pretty damn good! Cousin got married in Paris last week and I’m waiting for him to come back stateside so we can celebrate!
Nice. Eldest granddaughter just got “promoted” from junior high to high school. Had a couple of great weeks back to back exploring downtown LA including an epic pub crawl with the DFO crew. No complaints man.
Good to see you.
Anyone else remember Pro Beach Hockey? There was a “league” some very 90s names.
The Web Warriors
¡Salsa!
And such and such.
Did the whole team salsa dance every time they scored a goal? That’s some marketable shit right there.
USA vs TRI soccer
I want to see this Christian Pulisic dude rip it up
This has rapidly turned into an ass kicking by the US.
Hello boys. I missed you.
Work, work, work.
– Iraq, 2006
By?
A power vacuum.
3’s Company
3 Headed Monsters
Aliens
Ball Hogs
Bivouac
Enemies
Ghost Ballers
Killer 3’s
Power
Trilogy
Tri-State
Triplets
These are some of the worst goddamn team names I’ve ever seen.
The Mice
The Jew Bastards
The Boy Fuckers
The [*Redacted] s
The Stuck Pigs
Let’s be real, Dan Snyder is a hard coke bender away from going full heel and renaming his team the Washington Enemies
If he thought he could get the copyright dirt-cheap and then drain the company broke, Dan Snyder would change the team’s name from The Washington [*Redacted] s to The Washington Generals.
Anus and Andy
Anus the Menace
Asspocalypto
Babewatch
Backseat Confidential
Ball in the Family
Ball Street
Bareass in the Park
Bat Dude and Throbbin
Beaver and Buttface
Beverly Hills -Ho!
Beverly Hills Cock
Bi-Curious George
Bitanic
Black Cock Down
Boldfinger
Bonfire Of The Panties
Boobarella
Bridge Over the River KY
Buffy Down Under
Buffy the Vampire Layer
Crocodile Blondee
Saving Ryan’s Privates
Splendor in the Ass
Once in Paris, twice in the ass.
Splendor in the Ass is fucking hilarious.
I’m currently watching Big 3 basketball on CBS and it’s… sad. I don’t even have a joke, it’s just fucking sad man.
Is this the LaVar league?
I guess Ice Cube started it? And he doesn’t want Lavar anywhere near it which goes to show how business savvy Cube is or isn’t depending on your perspective.
I like how ESPN pretended to ban Lavar for a sexual innuendo when they really just no longer gave a shit once Lonzo left the relevance of Los Angeles for NO, and needed an excuse that didn’t involve admitting that part.
USA! USA! USA!
Do we get a World Cup exemption invite for winning the US Euro’s?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S72nI4Ex_E0
Happy fucking Saturday.
One day closer to fucking Monday.
nomonkeyfun had the brains to make that Kennedy shot joke.
Original name for a circle jerk?
Impressive; rounds were five minutes in those days.
Hey! That’s where milk and cheese come from, not eggs! Eggs come out of your ass!
You need to bone up on your chicken anatomy.
Phrasing?
found a funny:
[raccoons looking at garbage can blueprints]
“here’s the plan boys…(puffs cigar)…we walk right up to it and knock the son of a bitch over”
[*Redacted] s
In honor of Pride Month and the Stonewall anniversary:
Mike Pence *cough*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7f_19nxNfjs
That She Blows! is the musical dinner-theater adaptation of Moby Dick.
They always put the male chorus dancer with the strongest back in that one crucial position.
Better version:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0tu6kclScY
Over 7.5 miles for today’s walk and I’m A little creaky.
But!
Still had enough energy to prep 2 dishes for Sunday Gravy.
Now that that’s out of the way let’s go ahead and get crunk.
Howdy everyone!
Howdy!
How you doing SKOL brother?
padres shit the bed. damn.
This dog is patiently and obediently waiting for a treat. “Shit, it’s just an apple,” he seems to be thinking. “Who’s a good boy? You are! Here’s an apple peel!” The dog then walks slowly and dejectedly back to his bed and lies down and decides to die.
NHL draft is over, buddy! That might be a replay at 7? Is that a thing?