Your “Lots To Say; Nothing To Watch” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL Nourishment:

  • The Texans appear to be approaching the 2019 season with the intent of having no GM.
    • Since their attempt to recruit Patriots personnel man Nick Caserio ended with a tampering allegation, it appears management is going to be fine with no one overseeing Bill O’Brien.
      • Because if there’s anyone you can trust with no oversight, it’s a former head coach at Penn State.

  • The deadline for franchise tagged players to sign multi-year deals is Monday, July 15.
    • There are three left on the table:
      • Robbie Gould – 49ers
      • Jadeveon Clowney – Texans
      • Grady Jarrett – Falcons
    • Each player could be sitting a while, as there are no compelling reasons for the teams to push for a signature on any contract:
      • Clowney & Jarrett want too much money than the team can afford long-term against the salary cap.
      • Gould wants to leave & go to another NFC contender (the Bears), and they want to get something in return.
    • SBNation has a pretty good 2019 tag breakdown here, although they haven’t updated it to remove players who have signed or been traded.
  • The Cardinals made the only pick in today’s Supplemental Draft.
    • They picked Washington State safety Jalen Thompson in the fifth round.
      • Thereby surrendering their 5th rounder in the 2020 Draft.
  • The NFL & the Dolphins announced they will pick up the medical bills for recent amputee Kendrick Norton.
    • There is also discussion of placing him on the non-football injury list, so he can draw his base $495,000 salary in addition to having his bills covered.
    • He faces at least two more surgeries on his arm before they can begin determining the viability for a prosthetic.
  • Did you know Larry Fitzgerald is about to pass Tony Gonzalez for second in all-time receptions? You do now!
    • Current standings:
      • 3rd: Larry Fitzgerald – 1303
      • 2nd: Tony Gonzalez – 1325
      • 1st: Jerry Rice – 1549

Finally, in Hippo-interested news, former Patriot Richard Seymour is in the top-40 remaining players at the 2019 World Series of Poker.

  • As of Tuesday night, Seymour had 2.75 million chips, which was the 35th highest chip total of any player.
  • As of my typing this Wednesday afternoon at about 3:30, he’s since dropped to 102nd place & is down to $2.0 million chips.
  • You can follow the chip counts here.

Just because: CBS – who had the link to the Poker details – issued a new poster for their “Picard” All-Access series today, and I think this tweet sums it up best for die-hard fans:


Tonight’s sports:

  • 2019 ESPY Awards
    • 8:00PM | ABC / TSN
  • NBA Summer League Basketball:
    • Pelicans vs. Cavaliers – 7:30PM | ESPN2 / TSN4
    • Knicks vs. Lakers – 9:30PM | ESPN2 / TSN4
  • World Series of Poker:
    • 2019 Main Event Day 5 – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN3

Dear Lord, that’s a lot of wasted broadcast airspace. Well, at least baseball’s back tomorrow.

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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ALXMACUnsurprisedCol. Duke LaCrossyeah rightBrettFavresColonoscopy Recent comment authors
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

That soccer lady sure is something.

https://pixxxels.cc/qgY8Z2dY

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

yeah right

got a lot of words about this shit.

And if you know me I’ve got a lot of words.

https://deadspin.com/jalen-richard-for-the-good-of-everyone-please-vaccina-1836258580

yeah right

If your religion actually advises not getting optimum health care for your OWN children and that in turn endangers other peoples kids?

Man, FUCK your religion.

You did religion wrong.

yeah right

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

yeah right

There will be 3 make up courses on religion but of course that will cut into your family’s holiday plans.

Aren’t you shameful!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Since apparently none of you knew what I was talking about, here ya go:

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/skbaer/bagel-boss-man-rants-women-dating-sites?origin=web-hf

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

We didn’t want to know

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Hey, everybody

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Debating whether or not to get up at 2:30 a.m. for the cricket. We shall see.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s a sticky wicket

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

TRIPLE TRIPLE TRIPLE!!!

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!!!

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

FIRED FIRED FIRED!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Mind if I join the party?

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Of course I don’t mind; the more the this:

yeah right

Now if we’re gonna do Roxy Music.

Directed by Phil Manzanara.

yeah right

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Dr. Mrs. just cued up a show called “love island” which appears to be the British version of Paradise Hotel. I feel like an absolute fool for every having wondered how Brexit happened.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

We need a review of Sex Island

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There is absolutely zero shade anywhere at this place. They should call it Melanoma Island.

WCS

Perhaps “Darwin Experiment Island.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There’s a girl on here who’s supposedly twenty-six. If true, it is a HARD twenty-six.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I guess some people do like watching NFL games on their iPads.

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

If any organization would be stupid enough to send a PDF back that could be unredacted, it would be the Bengals/City of Cincinnati.

https://deadspin.com/officials-respond-to-public-records-request-on-bengals-1836243120

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Hamilton County claimed to the Enquirer that everything had to be redacted because it falls under attorney-client privilege. But as the paper points out, elected officials aren’t allowed to shield their discussions from public view just by copying their attorneys on every single communication, which is what appears to have happened here.

The county’s lawyer in the negotiations insisted to the Enquirer that making public these public documents would “place the county and its taxpayers at a competitive disadvantage.”

And people have the balls to say we live in a democracy. Or a republic. Fuck difference does it make.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Tracy Morgan: I heard you can deadlift 600 lbs

Saquon Barkley: Yeah

Tracy Morgan: Good, cuz you’re going to have to carry the Giants this year.

😂😂#ESPYS

— The Undefeated (@TheUndefeated) July 11, 2019

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

theeWeeBabySeamus

Have you folks seen the story about the woman who went to the fertility clinic, gave birth to twins, and they both genetically belong to two other (different) women?

Oooooops?

theeWeeBabySeamus

My opinion….she carried them and birthed them.
They belong to her.

What say you?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m of that opinion too. Mainly, though, I think everyone who got involved with the clinic needs to end up very, very rich.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

She has the right of first refusal.

Wakezilla

The Clinic should give her freebies with her fertilized egg(s).

In Canada, legally, she’s not the mother, but just a vessel, so those kids belong to the woman’s whose egg they’re from.

Either way, this is tragic and a fucking nightmare to the woman who gave birth. Compensate her well and make sure those kids go to where they belong.

yeah right

No but if you hum a few bars I’ll fake it!

I would involve a serious attorney to sort out the drothers

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Are we not talking about the bagel asshole?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

LISTEN! PEOPLE IN ST LOUIS DO NOT ACTUALLY SLICE THEIR BAGELS THAT WAY!

Wait, is this something else?

theeWeeBabySeamus

The bagel asshole? I thought that was when Balls wandered into a synagogue by mistake.

ballsofsteelandfury

No, that was when I dated a nice Jewish girl that loved anal sex.

SonOfSpam

You did her lox of times, right?

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL

ballsofsteelandfury

I gave her a schmear or two.

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL. I am not saying a thing.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Albert Haynesworth needs a kidney? Let me see if I can find the effort to see if I’m a match.
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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Hahaha. NC State is the first to receive a notice of allegations from the NCAA.

herodotus450
herodotus450

At least they got something good out of it though, all those wins and championships…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, as if any of us didn’t see that coming.
But at least we won….

Oh, wait.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Just checked and Seymour is now at #86.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It has been pointed out to me that the following looks like a mermaid jacking off two guys.
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herodotus450
herodotus450

Get you mind out of the gutter! The HJ foundation doesn’t go in for those types of shenanigans.

SonOfSpam

Yeah – beat it with those jokes.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I do not expect to encounter anything funnier this month.

SonOfSpam

That’s great hustle all around.

Redshirt

Damn, Ariel’s gone completely downhill since being replaced.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

…in what world did someone think it was a good idea to put circles above the H lines?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Middle out?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Would any of you consider coming here and killing me and making it look like a suicide?
I’ll pay your airfare, and will make sure you get away clean.

theeWeeBabySeamus

NOT YOU BALLS!!!!!!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

Awwww…

theeWeeBabySeamus

You had your chance.

SonOfSpam

Premium Economy? And one, no, TWO drink coupons.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Business class. No drinks other than what’s already in the liquor cabinet at the house.

SonOfSpam

Never flown in Business. Let’s do this.

theeWeeBabySeamus

FWIW, we got vodka, tequila and bourbon in the cabinet. Might also be a little bit of kahlua and other shitty liqeuers.

Ammo is on the first door to the left.

SonOfSpam

Aw, I was gonna go sharpened post right up the poop chute until it pierced something vital. Spam The Impaler.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The Transcontinental Line

Col. Duke LaCross

Wasn’t that the plot of Fletch?

Redshirt

I am so looking forward to Picard and Locutie the Space Dog.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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Legal disclaimer: This GIF’s opinion does not reflect that of the commenter, who doesn’t consider an ESPY to be an award at all.

SonOfSpam

Zion just beat Dexy’s Midnight Runners!

ballsofsteelandfury

Hey, at least Stripes is on BBC America.