I’m giving Scotchy the night off. The man works hard, and shouldn’t be forced to labour under the aspersion there is meaning to the first preseason games of the year. Thus, this thread will serve a dual purpose of entertaining & preparing for the evening contests.
NFL Nuggets:
- It’s worse than they thought: Nick Bosa will sit out the whole preseason due to his ankle injury.
- It’s a high-ankle sprain, which comes on the heels of his hamstring injury, which followed the “core muscle” injury that cost him most of tOSU’s season.
- Laughably, GM John Lynch forced through his teeth that, “[w]e don’t feel he is injury prone. […] Yesterday he had a big human being fall on his leg while he was engaged with someone else.”
- Apparently seeming full of riches, the Browns have traded Duke Johnson to the Texans.
- In exchange, the Browns get a guaranteed 4th-round pick in 202, which becomes a third-rounder if Johnson plays in ten games.
- This has to gall the Benson family: The Saints have had to join the NFL in opposing the fan petition to sue the NFL & force Roger Goodell to be deposed.
- Quoting ESPN, “[i]n a Wednesday-night filing with Louisiana’s Supreme Court, the Saints said allowing the lawsuit to proceed would “open the door to countless legal claims” that would overburden courts, the league and its teams.
- The ultimate goal is to have it dismissed before it proceeds to pre-trial, and Roger Goodell is forced to answer questions under oath about NFL operations.
- The only reason it has gotten further than any other case is because of the guy who filed it.
- Again from ESPN: “The lawsuit crafted by Saints fan and attorney Tony LeMon is put together in such a way to avoid having it taken over by a federal court, in part by keeping the damages sought low. The lawsuit alleges fraud by NFL officials.”
- Quoting ESPN, “[i]n a Wednesday-night filing with Louisiana’s Supreme Court, the Saints said allowing the lawsuit to proceed would “open the door to countless legal claims” that would overburden courts, the league and its teams.
Oh, and this guy had something to say:
5am. 5 days a week. For 3 years. Still Ready. pic.twitter.com/AGczejA1rM
— Colin Kaepernick (@Kaepernick7) August 7, 2019
- If all the GMs ignore it now, it’ll be easier for them to ignore it in October.
Tonight’s sports:
- NFL Preseason: the picture serves as game analysis
- Jets vs. Giants – 7:00PM | NFL Network
- Watch Eli sip juice on the sidelines while Dukey Duke tries to not look like a bust.
- LA Galaxy’s tenants vs. Cardinals – 10:00PM | NFL Network
- Watch Philip on the sideline contemplate his eighth kid while the False Prophet of Arizona gets his first pro snaps.
- Jets vs. Giants – 7:00PM | NFL Network
- CFL:
- Stampeders vs. Blue Bombers – 8:30PM | TSN / ESPN+
- Beisbol:
- MLB:
- Yankees at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- Little League World Series Regional Semi-finals:
- Washington D.C. vs. New York – 7:00PM | ESPN
- Northern California vs. Hawaii – 9:00PM | ESPN
- MLB:
- WNBA Basketball:
- Phoenix Mercury at Los Angeles Sparks – 10:00PM | ESPN2
- Fisticuffs:
- Professional Fighters League: PFL 6 in Atlantic City, N.J. – 8:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
That’s it for me this week. I’ll be back in aboot 10 days. Have a swell time!
movie night:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-xxdtZcXeE
KYLER TIME!
First play – exciting no-gain handoff for D Johnson. Like Rosen never left!
KK is just setting up the Air Raid attack. They’ll never see it coming.
KKK is also setting up an attack. Just like the Air Raid, it involves crosses.
You know this can’t be bannered but man did I laugh.
Damn, that is a LOT of cucumber GIFs.
It’s 5 o’clock! What’s the problem?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIBv2GEnXlc
oh snap, Vance Joseph is Birdcano’s DC??
Ok, San Diego at St. Louis is about to kick off!
/listens intently to earpiece
I’m being told that this is Los Angeles at Arizona. Must be expansion teams.
Turf #BFIB?
(shrug) Both teams have white trash fans, so sure.
CARSON, CALIFORNIA: Home of the Chargers, a big IKEA, and a bitchin’ refinery.
(Kyler) Murray? PRESENT!
im saving this for the 1st Rodgers comeback.
2/10 bad actress would not bang
Sure, sure.
I think the Canadian White Stripes are playing the CFL half-time show. They’re not bad, though.
Did they play Seven Province Army?
This is magnificent.
New Pornographers reunited?
they just do what they’re tooooold
am being censored! “waiting for moderation” notice? This site turned into FARK?
Weiner technology not yet capable of swiping right or left.
hey Moosey, how teh Donks look tonite? Too impatient to wait until the morning’s NFLN re-run
It’s on in 10 minutes. I’ll tune back in so you can….. Lock into what is happening.
oopsie doodle, thought it was Donks’ time zone, not fish tossers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4UKied_qXU
Hey I just remembered it’s Thursday! That means the New York Times crossword puzzle is a trick theme, and the CFL plays on my teevee! Fuck the NFL preseason scrubs!
Also, during the TSN studio segments the broad on the left end has the most Canadian accent ever, like she’s exaggerating it on purpose. That’s like some New England Irish dickhead trying to sound like a “southie” or Billy Ray Cyrus trying to sound like a NASCAR driver instead of the male stripper he was. It’s too much and too phony, although I guess Billy Ray Cyrus really is a hillbilly.
Jennifer Hegert? I do not watch the halftime show.
Never mind it is Kate Beirness. She wears waaaay too much makeup.
ah’d let her ROLL MY TIDE
On the 28th day even.
She is actually quite funny when she has been on the Jay and Dan podcast.
Did Duke boy play?
Talking about “well-traveled” coaches as if that doesn’t just mean “been fired a lot but at least isn’t black.”
A “young 30” in boxing means the guy did time
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXGYDVKNCd4
Equanimeous St. Brown is like the 10th most insane name in this Hou-GB game. What a time to be alive. There’s a Kingsley Keke AND a Keke Coutee!
LOL…. where have I see that face before?
There it is!
Folks
oh Scotchy, I did order Peter Hook’s “How Not to Run a Club” book – taking that on the aeroplane with me tomorry
Hooky is a funny bunny. To this day I smile when I think that Joy Division’s unique sound was primarily* due to his frustration with Sumner’s inability to assert himself in the early days and Hooky’s response to it.
*let’s set aside Ian’s haunting lyrics/voice for a moment
https://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/players/30623/
Will be heartbreaking when he is cut for Brefrigerant34 Jones.
As opposed to being cut for Ebook’s takeover?
Did, did I just see the Giants run a fade route?
Well, now that uppity OBJ is out of town…
Giants have been running the fade route since 2011.
I really hope you’re talking about the San Francisco Giants
Sadly, no.
Michael Vick preferred the faded route.
That’s Ron Mexico to you!
So I’m on a NFL Network Game Pass free trial and I can’t believe I’m watching the Jets/Giants.
Seriously! When the Colts and Bills are playing against each other?
Bearistocrats! new kicker fitting right in.
He made up for it?
Speaking of people who we thought were dead, running star Rosie Ruiz IS dead.
I heard that Subway is sponsoring her funeral.
#DieFresh!
Catanzaroooooooo for 2, praise be to Shan’khor.
Holy shit, I just found out that Gale Sayers is still alive. Ever since I was a kid I thought he died of some tragic disease. I guess that was Brian Piccolo who died, but I thought Gale Sayers died with him because they were such a cute interracial couple. But I guess not. James Caan played Brian Piccolo in a movie, and he also died in his next movie, where he was shredded by machine guns at a tollbooth. But still, I thought Gale Sayers died 50 years ago.
Never saw the movie, but hear tell the sex was HAWT
Lookit Siemian barely complete that TD pass, with ZERO Gigantes in the flat!
/better keep that Ret….Special Young Man healthy, Jest
Fantasy-wise, if you’ve got a tight end playing against the slow-footed Giants linebackers… you play that guy. All. The. Time. Ogletree? Goodson? It’s a fackin’ joke.
only problem is, up 4 TDs, most sides will eventually stop throwing
You son of a bitch…
hey, my team depends on Flaccid Flacco, I have NO CHOICE but to revel in schadenfreude
/also think RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! falls off this year
Given as this is preseason, I’ve been screwing around on the internet.
You know that the Democratic Socialist of America had their convention?
The highlights are utterly insane. It was the weirdest thing I ever watched…
Weirdest thing I ever watched was in Patpong, Bangkok. Some things you can’t unsee.
The DSA has this strange reality where they’re extremely effective on the local and regional levels, especially in terms of direct action, and some sort of cruel joke on the national level where they do things like elect a union leader to be president before revealing “Oh, btw, it was a police union” like some 1990’s wrestling heel turn.
yeah, they’ve actually had quite a positive effect on local politics. The left NEEDED that grassroots energy.
I think what broke me was them demanding people use the the American sign language hand shaking for applause so as to not upset participants who are triggered by lound noises…bit they failed to have an ASL interpreter for the actual hearing disabled in the audience.
a national convention, I’d guess, is dominated by attention-seeking weirdos.
*Delayed draw on first down for no yards*
Never ever,ever,ever,ever,ever,ever,ever,ever,ever change Giants.
“Oh, figured that one out, have you? How about a delayed… counter!”
Methinks if I was an NFL coach, I would run trap plays every fucking pre-season snap, with no 1st or 2nd stringers. And the defense would play “punt safe.”
I may not be able to watch Donks/SeaTruthers until tomorrow am’s NFLN re-run, but the Donks/Obama shirt be ON
“This just in: Giants/Jets game delayed due to poor weather.”
Eli: “That’s a new one. I’ve never been called ‘weather’ before.
Anybody go onto NFL.com and see if you can get a LOLfins #3 “Krist Killa” jersey?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvKAX5Kq3qo
I don’t give a shit what anyone says, Bobby Lee is an amazing actor and he doesn’t get enough credit for his serious roles.
Wow, that’s like an Asian midget chick with a mustache and an Australian accent. There’s such depth here. If Bobby Lee had given clearer orders to Stuart’s cavalry the battle of Gettysburg might have turned out differently. Probably not, though, because Bobby Lee was facing George Meade now, not Joe Hooker. Meade wasn’t going to lose.
What did Meade think about auto-erotic asphyxiation?
Here’s Meade hiding his raging hard-on as he’s waiting for the photo shoot to end so he can get some hot hot doorknob action.
yeah, u can tell that fella PARTIES
Victorious generals GET THE PUSSY
2/10, no “uh oh hot dog”
3 and out with 2 yards to go after the failed challenge.
And a fumble on 4th down to turn the ball over.
Fuck yeah… Browns in regular season form already!!!!
#ThePauls
1st and goal inside the two yard line… Two blown throw attempts and a challenge flag.
PRESEASON BROWNS FOOTBALL YEEHAW!!!!
I’m a putz… I just now realized this game is in Cleveland.
It’s hard to tell with both teams having the same colors and only about 1/3rd of the stadium filled.
I should have noticed the lack of underage congressional pages getting molested in the stands…
Preseason football fact!
Washington DC is the US capital… But not the most populous city in the US. 34 other countries have thar same distinction from Australia…to Vietnam.
Me: (Mildly excited to watch some, even preseason, football for the first time in a while.)
Me: “Oh, it’s on NFL network and I spent my last billion on that yacht.”
Me: “Oh well.” (Restarts youtube playlist of Pavel Datsyuk highlights.)
“Buffalo Bills Preseason football? Don’t mind if I do!”
-Ikea’s new line of collapsible tables
Browns at DC. I have to watch the DC feed.
I think it is hilarious that Joe Theismann change how he pronounced his last name in a pathetic attempt to win the most overrated trophy in sports.
I can’t think of a more Notre Dame football thing… Well I guess killing kids…
Hey, just learned the Black Panthers’ “Catman” is ded.
Holy mortality, Catman!
/Too soon?
Betting big money that the song played at Catman’s funeral is “The Last Post”.
Evening you fucking animals…
Am watching MLS because #BFIB off-day and HAIL GAMBLOR
WELL, FUCK THAT.
/had money on Lesser 500s
What booky-book you reading right now?
just finished Robert Harris’ “Munich” – pretty solid
Giants sitting at 3rd and 8 and run a draw play? Gotta give the OC credit-he’s in mid-season form way ahead of schedule.
If you told me in March that Gio Urshela would be hitting 3rd for the Yankees in August, I’d respond “Who the hell is that?”
Unfrozen Caveman Quarterback is starting the first preseason game? That’s no good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqu132vTl5Y
Also no good?* The Giants secondary.
*right now
they miss Fiona Apple, even if he had been a bad, bad girl