Your Thoroughly Unnecessary Preseason Colts/Browns Preseason Tilt Open Thread

I shouldn’t have bothered with it but this is a NFL footballing site so this is sorta what we do. And the thing is, I’m lowkey cheering for these teams to continue the success they seemed to have backed into the latter half of last season. I do the same thing with the Bills every year as well. Why? I guess there are some teams you end up feeling sorry for, that get piled on to the point where said piling seems forced after a while and so I hope the narrative changes direction-if only for a year or so. TO THE GAME!

Cle/Indy:

Andy Reid, when asked about Freddie Kitchens responded, “Not sure why but I really like the cut of that man’s striploin steak, er, jib. I meant jib.” Kitchens is trying to change the culture of the Browns but not necessarily in the locker room a la the Giants. (after all, they did trade for a certain OBJ) No, apparently the organization was rife with Negative Nelly’s that ran to the media and anonymously dropped bombs on co-workers that reinforced the notion that the whole place was a shit show.

Speaking of shit shows, Jim “I’m not a doctor but if you need pills, I’m your guy” Irsay muddied the Luck injury waters with his ‘a bone in the calf’ diagnosis. It turns out the issue might be with the talus bone at the base of the shin. But he was close! Similarly, Beckham had a hip pointer but then not-it’s just a plain old hip injury.

News from these teams joint practices can be condensed into the old ‘these teams just don’t like each other’ chestnut. I’m curious to see how scrappy the actual game gets.

Fantasy-wise, if you’re docking wr Hilton a few spots that might be a mistake. The guy that had the most yards receiving in the second half of the season in 2018 has been targeted 30 times in full scrimmages and has caught 29 of those balls. He’s eating up cb’s right now.

I had a few more tidbits but I can hear your yawns. Just type, okay?

 

 

 

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s not the only thing, handsome.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Winston Churchill referring to his depression as “the Black Dog”?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

So proud of that kid…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

The Colts are going to be good this year but they’re just so bland.

Fronkenshteen

Humps vs .500s should be track meets.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Eating up CBs? I thought you were done talking about Andy Reid

Spur

School just started and my nephew, Jay, had to fill out some forms at school. He checked Hispanic on a form and he said the teacher gave him back the form and told him to fix his ethnicity mistake. Jay explains, Hispanic is correct and that the they shouldn’t make assumptions. Jay gets written up by the teacher for being disrespectful. Jay says this is a new teacher.

This all happens on Monday and my sister finds out about it that night. She raises hell Tuesday morning at school. My other nephew went with my sister and said the principal did everything but offer money to get my sister to keep quiet. Jay has a new schedule now, he’s not in the 1st period class anymore with that jackass teacher.

My sister has the 1st school board meeting on her calendar now. You better believe I’m trying to find this teachers social media accounts. On LinkedIn I see he moved here from Wisconsin.

ballsofsteelandfury

Nail that idiot teacher!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BC Dick

Goddamn board meetings. Am I right?

Brick Meathook
Spur

Brisket sounds like a great idea for dinner

Mr. Ayo

Great appetizer idea!

— A. Reid

Spur

Afternoon People.

Let’s get Drunk!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

HEY IT’S ME FREDDIE KITCHENS, INSTALLING THE BEST IN CLEVELAND SINCE 1987! DON’T BELIEVE ME, ASK MY BROTHER FREDDIE MERCURY ABOUT GETTING YOUR AIR CONDITIONING REDONE

(bad parody then brutalizes)
“WHO WANTS TO FREEZE FOREVERRRR”

DON’T HESISTATE, FROM NORTH OLMSTED TO LAKEWOOD WE’LL HAVE YOU COOKIN’, RIGHT ART?

(Skeleton that’s supposed to be Art Modell is in a makeshift electric chair in Hell giving a thumbs up)

CALL US NOW!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Tampa Bay is -324 tonight at home against Detroit (+280).
Boston is -328 at home against Baltimore (+263).
That’s just turrible.

But I am considering laying some on…..Detroit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Even though I don’t bet baseball, I don’t bet baseball, I don’t bet baseball.

Fronkenshteen

$25 parlay wins you $320.
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rockingdog
rockingdog
King Hippo

The Mets got a clean sheet, my spoiler to finish in top half of Ligue 1 (aka League unh)

King Hippo

I am mad at the #BFIB lineup, so methinks I shall turn this on and take a nice nap.