THE ANDREWLUCKY
’Twas brillig, and the boring Colts
Did gyre and gimble in the ‘Nap:
All drunkish were the cheering dolts,
Gravy’d sacks of fatty crap.
ω
“Protect the AndrewLuck, my son!
The fragile arm, the aching back!
Beware the Watt and Clowney pair,
And hand it off to Mack!”
ω
He took his ovoid ball in hand;
Long time the tiny Hilton sought—
So checked it down to Funchess now
And gained in yardage naught.
ω
And, as in Hodor-face he ran,
The AndrewLuck, with eyes of flame,
Came lumb’ring through without a plan,
And fumbled as though lame!
ω
Hut one! Hut two! And through and through
The punter’s foot went doinky-doinks!
He pinned them back, and with a sack
The defense got the team two points.
ω
“And hast thou helped the AndrewLuck?
Come to my arms, my defense thugs!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
Then Irsay took more drugs.
ω
’Twas brillig, and the boring Colts
Did gyre and gimble in the ‘Nap:
All drunkish were the cheering dolts,
Gravy’d sacks of fatty crap.
ω
Author’s note: The symbol between each stanza is a representation of the Greek letter omega, but I included it because it looks like boobs or a butt. For more information, visit a public library.
[…] retrospect, it may not have been wise to make the 2019 Indianapolis Colts Preview post all about Andrew Luck. Just before the season started, Andrew’s agent gave Jim Irsay the […]
Visit my local library? Why can’t I masturbate at the office? I thought this was America.
It goes without seighing, but THANKS, Obama!!!11111
Hell, masturbating at the office is why your forefathers stormed the beaches of Trenton FOR !
Because the people at the library won’t say this about you after you’re gone. NSFW
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ttps://i.redd.it/vctzidcjyoe31.jpg
Welp, can’t unsee that.
Oh that was amazing.
truly
Now THAT’S a proper team preview DFO style.
Awesome.
This is where my stomach started hurting from the laughter.
Brilliant.
Now I’ve got a picture of Jim Irsay surrounded by bottles that say DRINK ME and piles of powder that say SNORT ME.
God Bless Xmas Ape:
Excellent!
I’m not reiterating that NFL players are nothing more than pieces of meat — but I can’t believe Jim Irsay hasn’t already ground down Andrew Luck’s ankle and snorted it through whatever straw he found on the ground in a White Castle parking lot.
Maybe that is why they never protected Luck. Irsay wanted Luck to be filled with drugs and has his body act as a catalyst chamber for some new super drug! The kidney injury was so his body wouldn’t be able to process all the drugs and the medicinal power would settle in the bones, to be slowly chipped away and powdered down. Or I have been reading way too many Chinese webnovels.
It can be two things!
I forgot that White Castle has a parking lot (there’s one a block from Lucas Oil Stadium), but even joking … ew. EWW.