Well, that was lovely! Would you care for more? TO THE GAMES!
Colts/Chargers:
No pressure, Jacoby. Perhaps it was because he was brought up in the Pats system but Brissett is a very conservative player that rarely throws downfield despite a good arm. Still, the Chargers are ripe for an upset here because of Gordon and his situation, Derwin James not being around and a weak O-line missing left tackle Okung. That’s three difference-makers subtracted from a game. Enticing a gambler even more is the fact that the Colts D unit came together in the 2nd half of the year and the line on this game has blossomed from 3 to 6.5 after a certain retirement.
Bengals/Seahawks:
When I think of superior edge defenders the name Carl Lawson doesn’t come up but his two year win rate of 20.1% is second behind only Joey Bosa. Rb Mixon is the more talented back but Chris Carson will get the better numbers by game’s end here.
Lions/Cards:
Let The Kyler Murray Era begin! (unless Arizona management falls in love with yet another qb in next year’s draft) The preseason game I eyeballed he seemed to be all over the place-like 1 good play, 1 bad, then a head-scratcher but he did end the season with a 65% passing average and a 76 qb rating. I’m guessing that the Lions aren’t going to be remotely ready for what Murray’s legs bring to the table. (table, legs? Woo!)
Giants/Boys:
Here’s the afternoon feature because America’s Turd and New York-area ratings. I’m not complaining however. I wouldn’t even mind Dallas running train on the Giants as long as it means that questions regarding Eli grow louder and speeds his inevitable demise. I WANT NEW THINGS!
Niners/Bucs:
Tampa’s secondary as a whole ranked 28th of 32 teams. Their San Fran counterpart gave up the 2nd-most passing TD’s last year. The over/under is 50. You do the math.
Let’s break that figurative huddle and get out there.
BLEEE’RGHs authority is being challenged. This will not go well.
REALLY bad call
The arm was hooked but I am slightly biased.
Time to play “What is Pass Interference?”!
Anything that annoys Grumblelord
YAY, Petey make challenge
I’m still baffled by how Ape isn’t writing for at least Deadspin.
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
Eight!
EIGHT!
One for each of the Ivies. Harvard Boy once again doing the league proud.
.
.
9-29 for Kyler Murray
Don’t think they understand the definition of raid.
Koach K’s got this!
Now that they’re down 25 with 16 minutes to go perhaps Shurmer will look to establish the running game and use Barkley some.
The OL DOUBLE J is hiring every hooker in the Metroplex tonight!
I wish I could repost that Dallas Orgy Party announcement
Santa Clara DOINK!
They heard that all the way in San Francisco!
Now back to beating the shit out of Eli
Robert Kraft is intrigued and would like to discreetly subscribe to your newsletter.
So are Florida police
Thigh mole. 3.5/10 Woud bang.
We need to do a close and thorough examination to rule out cancer. First, completely strip.
ZEKE ZEKE ZEKE
I have Dak and Gallup on my FF roster today. My opponent has Cooper.
It’s been a day of mixed feelings.
#MeToo, but Gallup on bench. Thank fuck no Cooper opposite me,
Could be worse; he has Desean Jackson and his 31.4 points on the bench.
Giants defense is god awful
“Leave Me the hell out of this”-God
Evergreen
I love you Russell.
You too Lockett.
Great defense there Bungles.
SURVIVAL!!
Kind of making yourself into some kind of slut here, aren’t you?
They don’t call us the 12s for nothing.
your my WR 1 now that tyreek hill is out
GIF THAT MANNING FACE IMMEDIATELY
Me during the 4th down:
I mean, fuck the Cowboys forever, but, that was pretty damn funny.
LOL, that Eli run looks funny as fuck in slow-mo
Wait, so, (and I ask this as a Cowboys fan), if the QB runs out of the pocket the defenders can just run over the receivers now?
ball not in air, then YES. No illegal contact. Can still be PI, though
Looked like a pretty clear case of PI to me, but the Giants deserve it for not giving the ball to their best player on 2 straight plays before that.
It’s not PI because Eli held onto the ball.
I just said “What the hell, Eli?” three times in one play.
TOLD YOU Vander Esch was going to pile drive Eli
The Giants strategy of using Barkley as little as possible intrigues me.
Oh my God, the Giants are so retarded.
Have to save him when they’re 5-7, trying finish at .500.
Damn, Elisha. That was Helmet Catch-esque.
Yeah, that was impressive. Many people forget that if Eli didn’t escape that sack, the helmet catch doesn’t happen.
I guess Aaron Rodgers is the power-top in the after-hours aspect of his relationship with his agent Mr. Gabriel there.
In the Bengals defense, I doubt they practiced playing with the lead this week.
I can’t believe I chose the Seahacks in all my elimination pools.
same here
fortunately, took the ‘Dacteds in loser, otherwise in same boat.
Bungles really want me to stay alive in DFO suicide pool
Bud Light Platinum needs to dump The King and bring in Silky Gerrard.
That would be fantastic.
Time to send Vinatieri to the glue factory
Carli Lloyd bidding war is imminent
I guess “defense” is purely a theoretical concept for the Gints.
The Giants secondary looks like they just met in the parking lot before the game.
Giants really bad
Jeebus, Gigantes secondary
So it’s gonna be a two team race in the East again this year
Bleergh is pleased with the NY-Dallas game
I dont know guys this Bud Light Platinum is sounding good. The humor from those commercials are winning me over.
After the first 7 the 8th tastes pretty good.
LOL Jamies giving them away!
Winston always liked getting it for free
And without permission to take it.
Big Dick Nick has a broken collarbone. Yeah, that adds up.
basic particle dynamics, that hog plus gravity equals extreme joint tension
ShermDOWN!!!
PRO TIP – Never trust the SeaTruthers, under any fucking circumstances
even against Cincy?
APPARENTLY NOT!
My system of betting against them every week for the past 5 years has really paid off.
found a funny:
Smoking looks cool because it makes you look like a train. Holy moly is that a locomotive coming my way? Nope it’s just Greg. Choo choo you magnificent bitch
As a Patriots fan, I should really hate the Giants. But my hatred for the Cowboys is even more deeply seated and has been nurtured for over half century, so I hope Eli can engineer the comeback and shut up all those Cowboy fans in Irving or wherever the fuck that stadium is.
Scored right as my KGO feed cut out. Still WOO
And again.
Lol seatruthers. This defense stinks now.
They got a stop! They’re fine!
Nailed It!
— Blair Walsh
Did y’all happen to see that Vikings defense today? That’s what Coach Zimmer is talking about.
Goddamn that was fun.
Face planting on a sidewalk, not so much.
In the epic battle of man vs. Sidewalk, sidewalk remains undefeated.
Aw man, and Hippo took Man and the points.
“Come on rock! Nothing beats rock!”
Seattle: Pays DangeRUSS $140MM.
Also Seattle:
https://twitter.com/ByTimBooth/status/1170819392189288448
Pat Shurmur would like to speak to that Zebra’s manager.
I’ll be back after my rec league alt-footy game.
2nd and goal from the 6-inch line, David Johnson touches the ball zero times.
Air raid!
“We didn’t draft Kyler Murray to hand-off!”
BOLTMEN!! reminding us all that the rushing game is mostly scheme and OL play.
Ha! Bengals pass/run yards is currently 260/10. They’re ahead by 3 at Seattle.
You can’t stop John Ross III, you can barely even hope to contain him
Oh, Dalton. What the hell.