Your “You Go Back, Jack, Do It Again” Sunday Afternoon Football Open Thread

Well, that was lovely! Would you care for more? TO THE GAMES!

Colts/Chargers:

No pressure, Jacoby. Perhaps it was because he was brought up in the Pats system but Brissett is a very conservative player that rarely throws downfield despite a good arm. Still, the Chargers are ripe for an upset here because of Gordon and his situation, Derwin James not being around and a weak O-line missing left tackle Okung. That’s three difference-makers subtracted from a game. Enticing a gambler even more is the fact that the Colts D unit came together in the 2nd half of the year and the line on this game has blossomed from 3 to 6.5 after a certain retirement.

Bengals/Seahawks:

When I think of superior edge defenders the name Carl Lawson doesn’t come up but his two year win rate of 20.1% is second behind only Joey Bosa. Rb Mixon is the more talented back but Chris Carson will get the better numbers by game’s end here.

Lions/Cards:

Let The Kyler Murray Era begin! (unless Arizona management falls in love with yet another qb in next year’s draft) The preseason game I eyeballed he seemed to be all over the place-like 1 good play, 1 bad, then a head-scratcher but he did end the season with a 65% passing average and a 76 qb rating. I’m guessing that the Lions aren’t going to be remotely ready for what Murray’s legs bring to the table. (table, legs? Woo!)

Giants/Boys:

Here’s the afternoon feature because America’s Turd and New York-area ratings. I’m not complaining however. I wouldn’t even mind Dallas running train on the Giants as long as it means that questions regarding Eli grow louder and speeds his inevitable demise. I WANT NEW THINGS!

Niners/Bucs:

Tampa’s secondary as a whole ranked 28th of 32 teams. Their San Fran counterpart gave up the 2nd-most passing TD’s last year. The over/under is 50. You do the math.

Let’s break that figurative huddle and get out there.

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Mr. Ayo

BLEEE’RGHs authority is being challenged. This will not go well.

King Hippo

REALLY bad call

Redshirt

The arm was hooked but I am slightly biased.

Redshirt

Time to play “What is Pass Interference?”!

Unsurprised

Anything that annoys Grumblelord

King Hippo

YAY, Petey make challenge

Unsurprised

I’m still baffled by how Ape isn’t writing for at least Deadspin.

We on Award Tour with Fitzpatrick my man
Going each and every place with the pick in their hand pic.twitter.com/4ALICssdEi

— Mike Tunison (@xmasape) September 8, 2019

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Unsurprised

Eight!

EIGHT!

One for each of the Ivies. Harvard Boy once again doing the league proud.

.

.

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King Hippo

9-29 for Kyler Murray

Mr. Ayo

Don’t think they understand the definition of raid.

WCS

Koach K’s got this!

Horatio Cornblower

Now that they’re down 25 with 16 minutes to go perhaps Shurmer will look to establish the running game and use Barkley some.

WCS

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The OL DOUBLE J is hiring every hooker in the Metroplex tonight!

Unsurprised

I wish I could repost that Dallas Orgy Party announcement

Mr. Ayo

Santa Clara DOINK!

Unsurprised

They heard that all the way in San Francisco!

Spur

Now back to beating the shit out of Eli

Spur

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Horatio Cornblower

Robert Kraft is intrigued and would like to discreetly subscribe to your newsletter.

Unsurprised

So are Florida police

Mr. Ayo

Thigh mole. 3.5/10 Woud bang.

Unsurprised

We need to do a close and thorough examination to rule out cancer. First, completely strip.

Spur

ZEKE ZEKE ZEKE

Horatio Cornblower

I have Dak and Gallup on my FF roster today. My opponent has Cooper.

It’s been a day of mixed feelings.

King Hippo

#MeToo, but Gallup on bench. Thank fuck no Cooper opposite me,

Horatio Cornblower

Could be worse; he has Desean Jackson and his 31.4 points on the bench.

Spur

Giants defense is god awful

Horatio Cornblower

“Leave Me the hell out of this”-God

Unsurprised

Evergreen

Mr. Ayo

I love you Russell.

Mr. Ayo

You too Lockett.

Mr. Ayo

Great defense there Bungles.

King Hippo

SURVIVAL!!

Horatio Cornblower

Kind of making yourself into some kind of slut here, aren’t you?

Mr. Ayo

They don’t call us the 12s for nothing.

rockingdog

your my WR 1 now that tyreek hill is out

Sharkbait

GIF THAT MANNING FACE IMMEDIATELY

Sharkbait

Me during the 4th down:

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WCS

I mean, fuck the Cowboys forever, but, that was pretty damn funny.

Spur

LOL, that Eli run looks funny as fuck in slow-mo

Horatio Cornblower

Wait, so, (and I ask this as a Cowboys fan), if the QB runs out of the pocket the defenders can just run over the receivers now?

King Hippo

ball not in air, then YES. No illegal contact. Can still be PI, though

Horatio Cornblower

Looked like a pretty clear case of PI to me, but the Giants deserve it for not giving the ball to their best player on 2 straight plays before that.

King Hippo

It’s not PI because Eli held onto the ball.

Redshirt

I just said “What the hell, Eli?” three times in one play.

Spur

TOLD YOU Vander Esch was going to pile drive Eli

Horatio Cornblower

The Giants strategy of using Barkley as little as possible intrigues me.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh my God, the Giants are so retarded.

Redshirt

Have to save him when they’re 5-7, trying finish at .500.

WCS

Damn, Elisha. That was Helmet Catch-esque.

Redshirt

Yeah, that was impressive. Many people forget that if Eli didn’t escape that sack, the helmet catch doesn’t happen.

WCS

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I guess Aaron Rodgers is the power-top in the after-hours aspect of his relationship with his agent Mr. Gabriel there.

Redshirt

In the Bengals defense, I doubt they practiced playing with the lead this week.

Mr. Ayo

I can’t believe I chose the Seahacks in all my elimination pools.

Spur

same here

King Hippo

fortunately, took the ‘Dacteds in loser, otherwise in same boat.

King Hippo

Bungles really want me to stay alive in DFO suicide pool

WCS

Bud Light Platinum needs to dump The King and bring in Silky Gerrard.

Horatio Cornblower

That would be fantastic.

Gratliff

Time to send Vinatieri to the glue factory

King Hippo

Carli Lloyd bidding war is imminent

Spur

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WCS

I guess “defense” is purely a theoretical concept for the Gints.

Horatio Cornblower

The Giants secondary looks like they just met in the parking lot before the game.

Spur

Giants really bad

King Hippo

Jeebus, Gigantes secondary

Gratliff

So it’s gonna be a two team race in the East again this year

Horatio Cornblower

Bleergh is pleased with the NY-Dallas game

Spur

I dont know guys this Bud Light Platinum is sounding good. The humor from those commercials are winning me over.

Horatio Cornblower

After the first 7 the 8th tastes pretty good.

rockingdog

LOL Jamies giving them away!

Spur

Winston always liked getting it for free

Horatio Cornblower

And without permission to take it.

WCS

Big Dick Nick has a broken collarbone. Yeah, that adds up.

King Hippo

basic particle dynamics, that hog plus gravity equals extreme joint tension

King Hippo

ShermDOWN!!!

King Hippo

PRO TIP – Never trust the SeaTruthers, under any fucking circumstances

Spur

even against Cincy?

King Hippo

APPARENTLY NOT!

Mr. Ayo

My system of betting against them every week for the past 5 years has really paid off.

rockingdog

found a funny:
Smoking looks cool because it makes you look like a train. Holy moly is that a locomotive coming my way? Nope it’s just Greg. Choo choo you magnificent bitch

Viva La Tabula Raza

As a Patriots fan, I should really hate the Giants. But my hatred for the Cowboys is even more deeply seated and has been nurtured for over half century, so I hope Eli can engineer the comeback and shut up all those Cowboy fans in Irving or wherever the fuck that stadium is.

Petronel

Scored right as my KGO feed cut out. Still WOO

Petronel

And again.

Fronkenshteen

Lol seatruthers. This defense stinks now.

Mr. Ayo

They got a stop! They’re fine!

Nailed It!

— Blair Walsh

yeah right

Did y’all happen to see that Vikings defense today? That’s what Coach Zimmer is talking about.
Goddamn that was fun.

Face planting on a sidewalk, not so much.
In the epic battle of man vs. Sidewalk, sidewalk remains undefeated.

Horatio Cornblower

Aw man, and Hippo took Man and the points.

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Come on rock! Nothing beats rock!”

Mr. Ayo

Seattle: Pays DangeRUSS $140MM.

Also Seattle:
https://twitter.com/ByTimBooth/status/1170819392189288448

Spur

Pat Shurmur would like to speak to that Zebra’s manager.

blaxabbath

I’ll be back after my rec league alt-footy game.

King Hippo

2nd and goal from the 6-inch line, David Johnson touches the ball zero times.

Spur

Air raid!

Horatio Cornblower

“We didn’t draft Kyler Murray to hand-off!”

rockingdog

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King Hippo

BOLTMEN!! reminding us all that the rushing game is mostly scheme and OL play.

Redshirt

Ha! Bengals pass/run yards is currently 260/10. They’re ahead by 3 at Seattle.

King Hippo

You can’t stop John Ross III, you can barely even hope to contain him

Redshirt

Oh, Dalton. What the hell.