Well, that was lovely! Would you care for more? TO THE GAMES!
Colts/Chargers:
No pressure, Jacoby. Perhaps it was because he was brought up in the Pats system but Brissett is a very conservative player that rarely throws downfield despite a good arm. Still, the Chargers are ripe for an upset here because of Gordon and his situation, Derwin James not being around and a weak O-line missing left tackle Okung. That’s three difference-makers subtracted from a game. Enticing a gambler even more is the fact that the Colts D unit came together in the 2nd half of the year and the line on this game has blossomed from 3 to 6.5 after a certain retirement.
Bengals/Seahawks:
When I think of superior edge defenders the name Carl Lawson doesn’t come up but his two year win rate of 20.1% is second behind only Joey Bosa. Rb Mixon is the more talented back but Chris Carson will get the better numbers by game’s end here.
Lions/Cards:
Let The Kyler Murray Era begin! (unless Arizona management falls in love with yet another qb in next year’s draft) The preseason game I eyeballed he seemed to be all over the place-like 1 good play, 1 bad, then a head-scratcher but he did end the season with a 65% passing average and a 76 qb rating. I’m guessing that the Lions aren’t going to be remotely ready for what Murray’s legs bring to the table. (table, legs? Woo!)
Giants/Boys:
Here’s the afternoon feature because America’s Turd and New York-area ratings. I’m not complaining however. I wouldn’t even mind Dallas running train on the Giants as long as it means that questions regarding Eli grow louder and speeds his inevitable demise. I WANT NEW THINGS!
Niners/Bucs:
Tampa’s secondary as a whole ranked 28th of 32 teams. Their San Fran counterpart gave up the 2nd-most passing TD’s last year. The over/under is 50. You do the math.
Let’s break that figurative huddle and get out there.
I honestly feel bad for Detroit Lions fans but I’m actively rooting against Matt Patricia and that stupid fucking pencil affectation in his ear.
Never feel bad for detroit fans, their other teams more than make up for it.
What would be funnier, Arizona winning, or Arizona not winning?
Tie
as always, THE DRAW
First and goal, David Johnson never touches it.
Arizona with a cromulent drive to win?
Too early
Come on 10:00 drive ending with a field goal. Expose the flaw in the OT rules that’s staring everyone in the face!
Not 100% sure, but think Fox sticks with this for all viewers (though RZ will click off)
I think League Rules say it may have to kick off coverage for all people watching this as Bonus Coverage at 8:15. For people who are the Home Market (who was already watching this), its broadcasted completely.
I like that with seventeen seconds remaining in a tie game, which in a sane world would be a complete toss-up, ESPN has Arizona at a 57% win percentage. Even the computer is laughing at the Lions.
Its a computer. Surely its counting the 0-16 season
Golladay and David Johnson would LOVE some OT to help out Bleached Assholes
add Kirk to that OT orgy
Pick six for the win….making a mad prediction …
Pick wrong way two…that’s my mad prediction
why we still watch – DET/AZ can turn into the Match of the Day
They’ve left Stafford way too much time.
Wait, no. They’ve left him enough time to blow this in regulation.
Lions blow a 24-6 fourth quarter lead. I see the NFL hasn’t changed a bit since I tuned out.
to the 2nd worse team in the league
LMFAO. It’s gone plaid.
I haven’t seen a Detroit collapse like this since Detroit collapsed like this 10 years ago.
Haven’t you seen a Vice documentary….annoying hipsters are bringing the city back by buying up the limited decent housing and hosting illegal raves in abandoned factories….
The Little Ceaser’s man built an arena too. It’s all up for everyone from there.
The Cardinals need to thank the shit out of University of Phoenix Online because otherwise Fitzgerald could have landed a real job…
Perfect.
If we could banner GIFs…
Lions got to Lions ..
NOTE to idiot – run it with David Johnson until he scores
Oh lions
their coach is officially too fat to walk anymore
Wait. What.
Leave to the LOLians to make Koach K look competent in crunch time.
Holy cow! Arizona scored 16 points?!
Its against Detroit. Does it really count?
I skip one week of the NFL and Tyreek Hill breaks his collarbone? Fuck yeah. I’m gonna skip all sixteen and see if I can put that woman- and child-abusing piece of shit in a coffin.
Go hiking. Enjoy the leaves changing.
He’ll reach Appalachia. Maybe he’ll find Mark Sandford on the Trail.
I think we learned earlier that this isn’t the safest route
just watching Week 17 will be super dull
IT’S STILL SIXTEEN WEEKS TO ME, DAMNIT!
/because normally I get blackout drunk for the entire week when the Raiders are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, so that week doesn’t count.
Dallas Wins
Wow. Jones is a Giants QB. He derped on his first possession. After almost throwing an int.
Jesus, Booth Review Guy. Look at the score! You’re still getting paid whether you do a review or not!
Jones got smacked by Jaylon Smith
Coach: “Eli, we’re replacing you for Jones.”
Eli: “For just the rest of this game, right?”
Coach: “… … … sure.”
if this shitty Dookie wants to toss a pick 6, it’d give my Keeper side a chance in hell
Do we call him a Drookie?
New Eli is playing!
Well done Jameis. Enjoy your retirement.
he’ll be in prison before he’s 35
And knowing this timeline, he’ll become President after his release.
Rapey Jameis, still hilarious. Not the raping, but the quartered backing.
“After reviewing the play, we want to go home. First Down, Seattle!”
Christ. They’re washing Eli’s balls like they’re a trainer at Tennessee.
Why are the Giants still play Eli? Its a blowout, he’ll get hurt and I just answered my own question.
excited to see how the 12s fuck this up
They can’t possibly out Bungle the Bungles.
Right?
Don’t doubt the Bengals.
Welp, this is all but over. At least we didn’t get blown out.
Thank you for not screwing up everyone’s suicide pools.
God bless.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xa6c3OTr6yA
Welp, Eli is in mid season form. He’s going to get that coach fired if he’s not benched soon.
NAMESAKE MENTION
How do you leave MC Escher in after that play?
Fightin’ Tomsulas, strategically offside
Giants undefeated season at risk here
Up the middle for 2! BALLS!!!
I think it’s points. But maybe they can exchange them 1 for 1?
I never thought I’d get the answer to “What if Debbie had the Internet?”
The password is Ravens vs Dolphins
Apparently the dolphins players are starting a mutiny
What took so long?
Holy hell, Hashtag Pauls have now lost 15 straight opening games. That’s CharDee MacDennis levels of awful.
https://youtu.be/QxP442T-aZ0
Make up call!
All hail BLEEE’RGH!
I was really looking forward to see another Chargers collapse.
oh well….
don’t give up yet!
There it is!