Your “You Go Back, Jack, Do It Again” Sunday Afternoon Football Open Thread

Well, that was lovely! Would you care for more? TO THE GAMES!

Colts/Chargers:

No pressure, Jacoby. Perhaps it was because he was brought up in the Pats system but Brissett is a very conservative player that rarely throws downfield despite a good arm. Still, the Chargers are ripe for an upset here because of Gordon and his situation, Derwin James not being around and a weak O-line missing left tackle Okung. That’s three difference-makers subtracted from a game. Enticing a gambler even more is the fact that the Colts D unit came together in the 2nd half of the year and the line on this game has blossomed from 3 to 6.5 after a certain retirement.

Bengals/Seahawks:

When I think of superior edge defenders the name Carl Lawson doesn’t come up but his two year win rate of 20.1% is second behind only Joey Bosa. Rb Mixon is the more talented back but Chris Carson will get the better numbers by game’s end here.

Lions/Cards:

Let The Kyler Murray Era begin! (unless Arizona management falls in love with yet another qb in next year’s draft) The preseason game I eyeballed he seemed to be all over the place-like 1 good play, 1 bad, then a head-scratcher but he did end the season with a 65% passing average and a 76 qb rating. I’m guessing that the Lions aren’t going to be remotely ready for what Murray’s legs bring to the table. (table, legs? Woo!)

Giants/Boys:

Here’s the afternoon feature because America’s Turd and New York-area ratings. I’m not complaining however. I wouldn’t even mind Dallas running train on the Giants as long as it means that questions regarding Eli grow louder and speeds his inevitable demise. I WANT NEW THINGS!

Niners/Bucs:

Tampa’s secondary as a whole ranked 28th of 32 teams. Their San Fran counterpart gave up the 2nd-most passing TD’s last year. The over/under is 50. You do the math.

Let’s break that figurative huddle and get out there.

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Brick Meathook

I honestly feel bad for Detroit Lions fans but I’m actively rooting against Matt Patricia and that stupid fucking pencil affectation in his ear.

Brocky

Never feel bad for detroit fans, their other teams more than make up for it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What would be funnier, Arizona winning, or Arizona not winning?

WCS

Tie

King Hippo

as always, THE DRAW

King Hippo

First and goal, David Johnson never touches it.

LemonJello

Arizona with a cromulent drive to win?

Brocky

Too early

Redshirt

Come on 10:00 drive ending with a field goal. Expose the flaw in the OT rules that’s staring everyone in the face!

King Hippo

Not 100% sure, but think Fox sticks with this for all viewers (though RZ will click off)

Redshirt

I think League Rules say it may have to kick off coverage for all people watching this as Bonus Coverage at 8:15. For people who are the Home Market (who was already watching this), its broadcasted completely.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like that with seventeen seconds remaining in a tie game, which in a sane world would be a complete toss-up, ESPN has Arizona at a 57% win percentage. Even the computer is laughing at the Lions.

Brocky

Its a computer. Surely its counting the 0-16 season

King Hippo

Golladay and David Johnson would LOVE some OT to help out Bleached Assholes

Spur

add Kirk to that OT orgy

WCS

comment image

JustStopDude

Pick six for the win….making a mad prediction …

Redshirt

Pick wrong way two…that’s my mad prediction

King Hippo

why we still watch – DET/AZ can turn into the Match of the Day

Mr. Ayo

They’ve left Stafford way too much time.

Wait, no. They’ve left him enough time to blow this in regulation.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Lions blow a 24-6 fourth quarter lead. I see the NFL hasn’t changed a bit since I tuned out.

Spur

to the 2nd worse team in the league

King Hippo

LMFAO. It’s gone plaid.

Mr. Ayo

I haven’t seen a Detroit collapse like this since Detroit collapsed like this 10 years ago.

JustStopDude

Haven’t you seen a Vice documentary….annoying hipsters are bringing the city back by buying up the limited decent housing and hosting illegal raves in abandoned factories….

...

The Little Ceaser’s man built an arena too. It’s all up for everyone from there.

JustStopDude

The Cardinals need to thank the shit out of University of Phoenix Online because otherwise Fitzgerald could have landed a real job…

LemonJello

comment image

WCS

Perfect.

Redshirt

If we could banner GIFs…

JustStopDude

Lions got to Lions ..

King Hippo

NOTE to idiot – run it with David Johnson until he scores

Gratliff

Oh lions

King Hippo

their coach is officially too fat to walk anymore

Unsurprised

Wait. What.

Spur

comment image

WCS

Leave to the LOLians to make Koach K look competent in crunch time.

Redshirt

Holy cow! Arizona scored 16 points?!

nomonkeyfun

Its against Detroit. Does it really count?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I skip one week of the NFL and Tyreek Hill breaks his collarbone? Fuck yeah. I’m gonna skip all sixteen and see if I can put that woman- and child-abusing piece of shit in a coffin.

Redshirt

Go hiking. Enjoy the leaves changing.

Unsurprised

He’ll reach Appalachia. Maybe he’ll find Mark Sandford on the Trail.

Gratliff

I think we learned earlier that this isn’t the safest route

King Hippo

just watching Week 17 will be super dull

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

IT’S STILL SIXTEEN WEEKS TO ME, DAMNIT!

/because normally I get blackout drunk for the entire week when the Raiders are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, so that week doesn’t count.

Spur

Dallas Wins comment image

nomonkeyfun

Wow. Jones is a Giants QB. He derped on his first possession. After almost throwing an int.

Redshirt

Jesus, Booth Review Guy. Look at the score! You’re still getting paid whether you do a review or not!

Spur

Jones got smacked by Jaylon Smith

Redshirt

Coach: “Eli, we’re replacing you for Jones.”
Eli: “For just the rest of this game, right?”
Coach: “… … … sure.”

King Hippo

if this shitty Dookie wants to toss a pick 6, it’d give my Keeper side a chance in hell

ballsofsteelandfury

Do we call him a Drookie?

Spur

New Eli is playing!

Mr. Ayo

Well done Jameis. Enjoy your retirement.

King Hippo

he’ll be in prison before he’s 35

Unsurprised

And knowing this timeline, he’ll become President after his release.

King Hippo

Rapey Jameis, still hilarious. Not the raping, but the quartered backing.

Redshirt

“After reviewing the play, we want to go home. First Down, Seattle!”

nomonkeyfun

Christ. They’re washing Eli’s balls like they’re a trainer at Tennessee.

Brick Meathook

comment image

Redshirt

Why are the Giants still play Eli? Its a blowout, he’ll get hurt and I just answered my own question.

King Hippo

excited to see how the 12s fuck this up

Mr. Ayo

They can’t possibly out Bungle the Bungles.

Right?

Redshirt

Don’t doubt the Bengals.

Redshirt

Welp, this is all but over. At least we didn’t get blown out.

Mr. Ayo

Thank you for not screwing up everyone’s suicide pools.

God bless.

Redshirt
Spur

Welp, Eli is in mid season form. He’s going to get that coach fired if he’s not benched soon.

...

NAMESAKE MENTION

nomonkeyfun

How do you leave MC Escher in after that play?

King Hippo

Fightin’ Tomsulas, strategically offside

Spur

Giants undefeated season at risk here

King Hippo

Up the middle for 2! BALLS!!!

Mr. Ayo

I think it’s points. But maybe they can exchange them 1 for 1?

Unsurprised

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...

I never thought I’d get the answer to “What if Debbie had the Internet?”

Gatoraids

The password is Ravens vs Dolphins

Spur

Apparently the dolphins players are starting a mutiny

Redshirt

What took so long?

WCS

Holy hell, Hashtag Pauls have now lost 15 straight opening games. That’s CharDee MacDennis levels of awful.

Unsurprised
Mr. Ayo

Make up call!

All hail BLEEE’RGH!

rockingdog

I was really looking forward to see another Chargers collapse.
oh well….

King Hippo

don’t give up yet!

Mr. Ayo

There it is!