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Sexy Friday – 20250606

Mr. Ayo

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, ,

TGIF! The ice ball tournament is dropping its puck now. Get your helicopter and motorcycle warmed just in case. Sadly, there are no cupcake pictures below.

Word Count Filler Time

People have said time is a construct. If so, age doesn’t matter and this list will show that’s absolutely true with the youngest and oldest to accomplish something.

Hit Record
Youngest: Age 4. Jordy with Dur dur d’être bébé in France. That translates to It’s Not Easy Being A Baby.
Oldest: Age 62. Louis Armstrong with Hello, Dolly. This seems ripe to be beaten.

Pro Hockey Player
Youngest: Age 16. Bep Guidolin for the Boston FAHKING Bruins in 1942. This was a result of WWII, of course. He would last until 1952 when his support of a player’s union kept teams from signing him, though he did continue in the minors.
Oldest: Age 52. Mr. Hockey (Gordie Howe) for the Hartford Whalers in 1980. If we include the leagues outside the NHL, this record now belongs to Jaromír Jágr who is currently playing for Rytíři Kladno in the Czech Extraliga at the age of 53.

Mayor
Youngest: Age 18. Jeffrey Dunkel for Mount Carbon, PA in 2001.
Oldest: Age 96. Dorothy Geeben for Ocean Breeze Park, FL in 2010. Another record ripe to be broken.

Murderer (Convicted Category)
Youngest: Age 13. Nathaniel Abraham in 2000.
Oldest: Age 85. Leonard Nathan Sherman in 1999. This was from shooting his sister. Those sibling rivalries never die until one them does.

Oscar Winner
Youngest: Age 10. Tatum O’Neal in Paper Moon.
Oldest: Age 80. Jessica Tandy in Driving Miss Daisy.

Pope
Youngest: Age 11. Benedict IX in 1032.
Oldest: Age 80. Adrian I in 772. Neither was taken in our Pope draft.

Swim English Channel
Youngest: Age 11. Thomas Gregory in 1988.
Oldest: Age 67. Clifford Batt in 1987.

Author (Published Category)
Youngest: Age 4. Dorothy Straight with How The Word Began in 1964.
Oldest: Age 107. Sarah Louise Delaney with On My Own at 107. This does not seem ripe to be broken.

SNL Host
Youngest: Age 7. Drew Barrymore in 1982,
Oldest: Age 80. Miskel Spillman in 1977. Don’t know her? That’s because she won a contest to host.

So since all of you totally blew your chance to at the youngest part of this, put your sights on the oldest part and good luck.

Click here to get to commenting

Sexy Time

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!

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Brick Meathook

High wind/storm landings at Amsterdam Schiphol airport:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mk0xSrji8gc

2
Mr. Ayo

Tomorrow!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ei_fUUKzZc

Last edited 11 months ago by Mr. Ayo
1
WCS

Somehow took me two decades to know this existed:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXGp4wC6Ha0

deftones doing Skynyrd is something yinz didn’t know yinz needed, but you absolutely do.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Awesome band. I saw them with Frightened Rabbit and The Twilight Sad maybe fifteen years ago? Just a great show throughout.

1
litre_cola

They are superb and nae hide their accent.

I am very much down with Fontaines DC and checked with my Irish buddy’s and confirmed not cunts.b

0
litre_cola

Prickly Pear Vodka from Blax land is absolutely delish

1
yeah right

Hey!

Home and laundry is done early and I’ve got the ballet tomorrow and..

At least I haven’t seen this performance before.

The Wahini has 2 parts one in each act of A Midsummer Nights Dream.

You just think being a grandad is all fun and games and spoiling the kids.
Because it is!

But this is the price.

How’s everyone doing?

5
Horatio Cornblower

Three beers deep and have to drive 2+ hours to watch my nephew graduate tomorrow, along with my mother and father being in the same room for the first time in roughly 8 years.

Yes, I am considering heroin, why do you ask?

3
yeah right

Got commencement for eldest granddaughter a week from today.

We’re supposed to bring cash now from my experiences.

2
BC Dick

I’d consider a sudden bout of food poisoning.

1
Mr. Ayo

5 vodkas deep and trying to figure out when this ice cocaine runs out.

3
WCS

It doesn’t.

3
BC Dick

Sounds damn good. Just got back from a work trip and I got three (3) parking tickets from the city for being in the company’s reserved lot with a company branded vehicle without a visible company parking pass.

0
TheRevanchist

Fuck yeah! That’s the sexiest goal I’ve seen all night.

0
Horatio Cornblower

Wow, the Chiefs and the Panthers?

/starts leafing through by-laws for impeachment procedures

3
TheRevanchist

Hey, I gotta be me.

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Mr. Ayo

And then you totally redeem yourself!

6
SonOfSpam

Updated

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BC Dick

If we could’ve, we would’ve. Except those beef-eating oil jockeys hicks like Litre.

1
Mr. Ayo

The sloppy play has commenced. A lucky bounce is going to decide this.

0
Mr. Ayo

Of course it’s him.

1
Horatio Cornblower

He didn’t even get a shot off. The back check screwed Skinner.

2
Horatio Cornblower

Boy with two straight OT games to open this series, whoever gets the winner is going to have a real advantage!

2
ballsofsteelandfury

STANLEY CUP COCAINE DOUBLE SHOT!!

0
Mr. Ayo

*adds a pinch of tussi to his vodka drink*

LET’S FUCKING GO!!!

2
Horatio Cornblower

/Opens another beer despite it being after midnight and being a Gremlin

“If I must, I must”

3
SonOfSpam

/opens another beer despite it being after 9:00 and being a pussy

3
Mr. Ayo

SIP COWARD! SIP!

4
SonOfSpam

(pinky is out)

1
Horatio Cornblower

West coast. Pfft!!

2
SonOfSpam

TO BE FAIR

I’m having my 3rd different IPA. Feels like that should count for being slightly less of a pussy.

1
Horatio Cornblower

I’ve had 2 8.2s and am currently coming down with a mild 6.8.

It’s possible I have a problem.

2
SonOfSpam

Yes, should’ve had a third 8.2

2
2Pack

Yesterday marked the one year date until retirement. Less a couple of months of leave to burn I’ll pretty much be done working come spring. It is time. And I am ready. A lot of, “last time I’ll have to do this” moments happening now. I have few regrets, all of them minor in the bigger picture. Ready, set, go.

12
2Pack

Oh and it’s fitting that my retirement date is D-day + 82.

3
ballsofsteelandfury

So jealous and happy for you!!

2
Horatio Cornblower

Staying in Italy after retirement or moving on?

2
2Pack

Staying here. We own our house so not much upside to moving. Plus the kids both work here now.

2
Unsurprised

Just don’t start opening one last case a week out.

3
Horatio Cornblower

Also don’t buy a boat called “Live 4 Ever”

3
Brick Meathook

Get yourself a 363 bead short-timers chain.

3
yeah right

I’m using hash marks myself.

2
2Pack

That and the cheesecake clothing removal calendar.

1
yeah right

Get after that my friend. Less than 3 years and 5 myself.

It’s a damn grind isn’t it?

2
2Pack

I have no regrets and left it all out there.

1
SonOfSpam

Welp, draft Henry #1 in your FFL next year.

https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/45466519/adam-sandler-cast-ravens-derrick-henry-runs-2k-yards

0
Horatio Cornblower

Chris Henry?

Pass.

4
WCS

Chris Henry’s Tailgate Party would be great for 2008. Oh well.

5
Horatio Cornblower

Underrated FF name.

3
yeah right

Four foot wave would have worked in this comment.

2
Mr. Ayo

BUILD THE STATUE NOW!

Well, wait till the game is over. But then, BUILD!

1
Horatio Cornblower

Seriously. He’s been out of his fucking mind.

2
Horatio Cornblower

Dear the sweet baby Jesus.

2
Mr. Ayo

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Horatio Cornblower

THIS GUY SKINNER I CALL HIM CARRIE, BECAUSE HE IS HAVING A PERIOD HE’LL NEVER FORGET!!!

6
Horatio Cornblower

Skinner’s a little too active outside of the crease for my taste.

SKINNER!!!!

2
SonOfSpam

Raise your hand if you’re UNDEFEATED in the CFL pool.

/raises hand

And unless you’re Balls or Ayo, put that hand down.

//clears mantel space for new/gently-used Fleshlight

4
Mr. Ayo

My hand was already down though.

2
SonOfSpam

Yes, in your pants. Finish your business.

2
Horatio Cornblower

I’m in that pool but have no idea how I’m doing.

Something I can guarantee will continue throughout the season.

1
SonOfSpam

You are batting .500 because you had no faith in the Frogs.

1
Horatio Cornblower

I’ve never really gotten over their performance in the early 40’s.

4
Doktor Zymm

But I AM undefeated in the CFL pool, reason being you can’t be defeated if you don’t participate

2
ballsofsteelandfury

Apparently, no one won tonight’s game??

0
SonOfSpam

No, about half of us did. Montreal beat Toronto.

0
Horatio Cornblower

Wayne Gretzky: “I don’t understand why players don’t…”

Me: “BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT WAYNE FUCKING GRETZKY, YOU PLASTIC IDIOT!!!”

4
2Pack

Lady number 3 has me under her spell tonight. Thanks Mr Ayo for bringing us back to these important matters at hand.

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3
ballsofsteelandfury

STANLEY CUP COCAINE!!!!

3
Sharkbait

MOAR OVERTIME

4
Horatio Cornblower

OH FUCK YES LET’S FUCKING GO!!!!

COCAINE, MOTORCYCLES, AND HELICOPTERS FOR EVERYONE, BARKEEP!!!!

3
Mr. Ayo

EULERS!

FIRE UP THE HELICOPTER AND MOTORCYCLE!

3
Horatio Cornblower

When the Stanley Cup goes back to Florida this guy Rodriguez won’t make it 5 minutes into the first period before ICE agents are sliding all over the rink trying to deport him.

4
ballsofsteelandfury

DA SEXY IS BACK!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

2
Jimbo

Someone put this in a teams chat at work. And no, I don’t work for a German company.

work
8
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

It could have been worse. They could have been shitting up

4
Jimbo

Cardinals are wearing “The Lou” jerseys. Isn’t that like a toilet in British.

4
Mr. Ayo

#BestLoosInBaseball

Last edited 11 months ago by Mr. Ayo
5
Horatio Cornblower

Whoever came up with the ‘City Connect’ jersey idea needs to be dragged out and shot.

Maybe just dragged through a field of cacti. And poison ivy.

3
Jimbo

I agree, all terrible. I think Padres are the worst.

Screenshot-2025-06-06-at-7.04.31 PM
2
Horatio Cornblower

Red Sox blue-and-yellows were an abomination.

comment image

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Even the Swedish Bikini Team are embarrassed by these.

4
SonOfSpam

“Here’s an idea…uniforms with every primary color EXCEPT the one in our name!”

2
Horatio Cornblower

I get the reasoning, because the colors are the same for the Boston Athletic Association, which runs the Boston Marathon, and the Sox were showing support after the bombing, but what no one stopped to consider is that the uniforms were fucking hideous.

This year they’ve gone to a green one, (for the Green Monster, you see), but I think they still bust these atrocities out every now and again. Whatever it takes to sell a few more jerseys.

2
SonOfSpam

Eh, Pride Month.

2
Gumbygirl

They are always the worst when it comes to uni’s. Except maybe that imaginary team from Tejas.

2
herodotus450

Whats worse than having a Tkhackuk on your team? Having the lesser Tckakhuk on your team.

0
scotchnaut

I can’t rec the Dan Le Batard podcast (a Florida-centric podcast that goes on and on about the Hurricanes, Fins, Jags, Rays, Heat, Marlins, etc.) enough right now. Why? Because the Panthers (a hockey team based in Florida) are successful and he and his crew are not remotely equipped to inform their audience as to what is going on and yet are obligated to do so.

/it’s fuckin’ hilarious

2
Mr. Ayo

Love that show, although sucks that Stugotz is going away.

0
Gumbygirl

I hope this protest in LA doesn’t get ugly, but good for them. Fuck ICE with Elon and Trump’s diseased dicks.

8
Horatio Cornblower

Protests have been escalating recently.

1
SonOfSpam

On one hand, I wanna see blood (not mine); on the other hand, they’ll use any excuse to implement martial law, so maybe I don’t wanna see blood.

But honestly…at some point, someone’s gonna shoot one of these kidnappers, and it’s gonna be Stand Your Ground self-defense, right?

2
Horatio Cornblower

I do think that, at some point, someone will make the extremely bad decision to exercise their 2nd Amendment rights, and then things will get very ugly. I suspect this administration would love the excuse.

5
Doktor Zymm

The one with the flashbangs?

1
Redshirt

All I’m saying is Mar-A-Lago is right there and you know that insecure son of a bitch has gold in every room of that house of ill repute.

4
Doktor Zymm

How hot would the furnace have to be to make the gold plating of Trump’s toilet clean again?

0
Redshirt

Melting Point of Gold is 1064C and Porcelain is 1700C. Get it as high as 1000C and you should be fine.

IMG_1501
1
Doktor Zymm

Go Hat!

0
WCS

comment image

5
Mr. Ayo

Haha. Eat shit Bennett.

1
Mr. Ayo

Also, holy shit what an assist by McJesus.

2
SonOfSpam

(puts on hockey-knower hat)

He appears to be good at hockey.

(work finished, goes back to watching monkeys-beating-off videos)

5
Redshirt

Forbidden Sexy Friday Mathematics?

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Doktor Zymm

Our entire government is an embarrasment, but at least the USA is still #1 at memes!

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6
Redshirt

Hear, Hear!

IMG_1499
2
Doktor Zymm

Really tempted by the deportation one

FB_IMG_1749228830185
6
scotchnaut

The game is tied-I blame Bobrobsky.

1
Mr. Ayo

Now untied. Also thanks to Playoff Bob.

1
Doktor Zymm

Dolly Parton is 79, maybe “Hello Dolly” is prophetic

3
Horatio Cornblower

Girl #1 is clearly #upforwhatever.

Girl #9 has absolutely killed before, and she will again.

3
blaxabbath

Girl #1 is a Phillipino guy.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Nice tits, Sir.

4
blaxabbath

I vote for four. She’s mischeivious.

2
blaxabbath

Could Jagr contribute to an above-.500 NHL team if it were not obvious that that man HAS NO FUTURE IN THE LEAGU?

Last edited 11 months ago by blaxabbath
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