Perusing team stats it’s remarkable how playing the Fins skews pretty much everything from ‘good’ to ‘wowzers!’. Average rushing yards, sacks, pressures, passes defended-it just goes on and on. You’d think that players on teams that have Miami on their sked towards the end of the season might have to pay out a part of their individual bonuses to the Fins, especially dudes on the Pats, Bills and Jets.
TO THE GAMES!
Titans/Falcons:
Good news for Matt, Julio and Calvin-the Tennessee secondary is giving up passes to outside receivers at a 75% clip. Yeah, that’s right, three of every four passes is successful.
Pats/Bills:
Dare we dream the dream? I’ve got faith that Josh can escape pressure from the ends with those wheels of his but that Pats secondary of Jones, McCourty and Gilmore is a crack unit. Not helping matters is that Bills wr’s have eight dropped passes already-good for third in the league. I think the Buffalo front seven can hold up their end of the bargain and force Brady to quicken his throws and he might not get much help from Edelman, who has some chest/ribs thing going on.
Chiefs/Lions:
Do you have T.J. Hockenson Buyers Remorse? It’s a real condition that might just be cured by playing from behind the entire game to K.C. Catching just one pass for more than eight yards will shatter his previous two week’s combined output.
Raiders/Colts:
A player prop to consider? How about Brissett throwing for less/more than 221.5. He tossed more than 300 last week but is a very tentative guy usually and has no T.Y. this week. What to do, what to do…
Chargers/Fins:
All (most) of L.A.’s skill guys are off today-wr Williams, rb Jackson, te’s Henry and Green among them. Is your fantasy team all banged up like mine and you’re looking for a spot starter at the flex? You could do worse than Dontrelle Inman.
Potato Skins/Giants:
These guys should be able to score at will on each other, just not on the ground. I’m throwing rook wr McLaurin in there today because Janoris Jenkins is giving up a 140 QB rating to the guy he covers.
Browns/Ravens:
When does Baker, Baker The Touchdown Maker come out of hiding? Betcha Jarvis Landry is re-thinking his open-arms approach to OBJ joining the team. He’s averaging less than 60 yards receiving per game.
Panthers/Texans:
The Carolina D is allowing a paltry 189 yards through the air so far this year. Deshaun should murderkill that number this week.
Do your blurst!
So you guys down below are saying there are no hipster firemen? Shame.
Only in Brooklyn
/Brooklyn burns to the ground
Well, shit.
Oooh! What’d burfict do?
He Vontazed a bro.
Didn’t see it, my wife decided now us the time to vacuum in front of the TV.
That is next level passive-aggressiveness.
Her OCD is kicking in, she saw some pet hair and started cleaning.
I just hope you have pets.
Yep, rabbits.
Too early. Should Keenum’s team for the next 5 years or so imho
Continuity is very important!
Giants drinking from that Jones town kookaid
“It was the wr’s fault!”
-Giants fans, probably
DWAYNE HASKINS ERA BEGINS?
Hippo, you might like the fantasy satellite channel. Lots of dudes yakking about football and very few hot takes.
“As a fireman, it’s my job to shave every day. And I have sensitive skin.”
/what?
It’s true. Beards interfere with their masks. Mustaches only.
And that.
Same reason why the armed forces are so strict with the grooming standards for non-spec ops types. It’s not just to break your will to live and/or to question authority, but also because it interferes with masks AND can actually lead to skin issues
When I was in the Navy, we could still have beards up till 1 Jan 1985. And we used these Oxygen Breathing Apparatuses. You could use the OBA with a beard, but you had to keep it neatly trimmed, no neckbeards, that would fuck up the seal around your face.
I think he means he is required to shave, may consider beards a hazard in a burning building.
It’s all fun and games in a burning building until your beard catches on fire.
You just have to save him then.
I’d have already been terminated. I haven’t shaved in nearly three months. My Rick Grimes beard started early this year.
It’s not a hazard, the other firefighters all just hate the smell of burnt hair.
I’ve noticed that when my regular fantasy teams are shit, my DFS lineups tend to be in the green. Does this happen to anyone else?
OBJ gonna spend the rest of that dude’s career explaining how easily he would have caught that
Redo Zone is showing an injured player down on hte field. Pretty much sums up these games so far.
Was listening to a guy that was saying that Danny Dimes ran a pro-style O in college with really shitty personnel and that he was already prepped when he started playing with pros.
/aaaaand he goes and imitates Josh
My opponent in my money league has Rogers and Pats D getting all his points. I dislike this.
We don’t need the Eli tribute on the field, Daniel!
I’m not going to recover from having J. Howard on my bench with 32.
So was the Eagles game just an outlier for the Falcons? Are they Actually Bad?
BFC has the Shitty Clippers D/ST, but Grumblelord’s service to Hippo’s Opium Den leads 23-5
Buffalo is Turnover Town today.
[considers moving]
A. Reid, KC
Andy Reid frantically searches for flights to Buffalo…
IT’LL NEVER BE NOT FUNNY!
[books flight to Buffalo]
– A. Reid
ALLENCEPTION 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO
Wow, Josh Allen REALLY is a Pats fan, ain’t he? Also congrats to all who still run with the Pats D in fantasy leagues 🙂
I may be dumb, but I ain’t STOOPID
THROW TO WALLER GODDAMMIT
Their QB KILLED CHRIST, you cockwallets!! – Philip R., San Diego, CA
He must take solace that the Pope is on his side.
/Tremayne
Mahomey just ridiculous
if you have him in fantasy, and aren’t 3-0? Should probably consider Seppuku
Giants inside the 5, Josh Norman in the tent. Life is good.
GO TO ENGRAM!
could use some ShepardPOINTZ
Jones needs to run a keeper
YES!
Jones needs to
run a keeperthrow exclusively to Sterling ShephardALSO FINE
That Titans wideout is a big motherfucker.
AJ Brown would appear to be a bad motherfucker.
He just robbed a safe on live TV and no one is doing anything!
Also, small guy ball boy.
Didn’t work out so well for Leroy.
had a #ThePauls feeling today
Be sure to see your doctor tomorrow.
You had diarrhea?
I would have thought constipation, all effort no result.
I’m getting tons of ads for Rio Mare Tuna in olive oil.
Kenny Stills? DED
LOOGIEDOWN
Frank Gore’s run there looked like my start in the 5K yesterday: “Hey, this feels great, I’m fast asohshitI’moldandeveryone’spassingme”
make a comeback, Humps
That’s a start.
I’m tied heavy to Parris Campbell today. A hunch.
Lol buffalo
“Well, it’s over in Buffalo…”
Buffalo mayor as Kodak declares bankruptcy in 2012.
Also today, just now.
o bills
I hate football
That Bills fan halftime wedding is looking more poorly planned with every second.
The crying that the bride will be doing won’t be the happy kind.
Why, she may have the over AND the bet the Pats 😀
For Worse or worst
“Til the fourth quarter do us part….”
“In Buffalo or in health…”
Everyone in the crowd will just start laughing at “for richer,” even the officiant.
MATTHEW SLATER ladies and pervosaurs!
I enjoy having P*ts D/ST in DFO-ball
PopeDOWN! No surprise Laserface would favour him
Marmalard would throw for 1,000 yards today if he could.
That’s 5 hours worth of hangtime
“Please God, no”
Mrs. Marmalard.
“Lee Smith, (who has 3 penalties already), is the only member of these Bills to have experienced a home win against the Patriots” and he pretty clearly seems inclined to keep it that way.
Oh Josh, you’re getting exposed.
Only thing I did that was SMRT in fantasy – Joey Slye.
been starting him SINCE WEEK ONE
I’d ask what pictures does Gostkowski has of Kraft that are so awful that he can’t be cut, but given what we know about Kraft’s hobbies I’m pretty sure we can all guess.
in retrospect, Los Gigantes were the logical survivor pick
Sports are the worst
I saw the risk in LOLfins/Shitty Clippers, still losing all my survivor/loser pools
I was so mad about this
It’s fine, there’s always France 2023
CHOSEN DOWN!
also godfuckingdamnit, Humps
why bother covering James White, Brady NEVAR throws to him. Dumb chucklefucks.
Gallmandown!
/you don’t hear that every day
started him in DFO-ball
there ya go!