Perusing team stats it’s remarkable how playing the Fins skews pretty much everything from ‘good’ to ‘wowzers!’. Average rushing yards, sacks, pressures, passes defended-it just goes on and on. You’d think that players on teams that have Miami on their sked towards the end of the season might have to pay out a part of their individual bonuses to the Fins, especially dudes on the Pats, Bills and Jets.
TO THE GAMES!
Titans/Falcons:
Good news for Matt, Julio and Calvin-the Tennessee secondary is giving up passes to outside receivers at a 75% clip. Yeah, that’s right, three of every four passes is successful.
Pats/Bills:
Dare we dream the dream? I’ve got faith that Josh can escape pressure from the ends with those wheels of his but that Pats secondary of Jones, McCourty and Gilmore is a crack unit. Not helping matters is that Bills wr’s have eight dropped passes already-good for third in the league. I think the Buffalo front seven can hold up their end of the bargain and force Brady to quicken his throws and he might not get much help from Edelman, who has some chest/ribs thing going on.
Chiefs/Lions:
Do you have T.J. Hockenson Buyers Remorse? It’s a real condition that might just be cured by playing from behind the entire game to K.C. Catching just one pass for more than eight yards will shatter his previous two week’s combined output.
Raiders/Colts:
A player prop to consider? How about Brissett throwing for less/more than 221.5. He tossed more than 300 last week but is a very tentative guy usually and has no T.Y. this week. What to do, what to do…
Chargers/Fins:
All (most) of L.A.’s skill guys are off today-wr Williams, rb Jackson, te’s Henry and Green among them. Is your fantasy team all banged up like mine and you’re looking for a spot starter at the flex? You could do worse than Dontrelle Inman.
Potato Skins/Giants:
These guys should be able to score at will on each other, just not on the ground. I’m throwing rook wr McLaurin in there today because Janoris Jenkins is giving up a 140 QB rating to the guy he covers.
Browns/Ravens:
When does Baker, Baker The Touchdown Maker come out of hiding? Betcha Jarvis Landry is re-thinking his open-arms approach to OBJ joining the team. He’s averaging less than 60 yards receiving per game.
Panthers/Texans:
The Carolina D is allowing a paltry 189 yards through the air so far this year. Deshaun should murderkill that number this week.
Do your blurst!
[looks more closesly at These Raiders]
Wait, now I’m not so sure.
KITTTTTTYYYYYY!!!!!
RAWR!
I don’t think I’ve seen NE offense play this shitty since SB LII.
Josh Allen simulator:
?itemid=5632112
Intentional grounding buffalo just lucky refs didn’t call roughing
It’s 9 PM but I finally found a “telly” with an NFL game on it. I think this is a palace or something.
Is that Grosvenor?
Empire Casino at Leicester Square
Andy Reid wants that bad Brisket if you’re done with it.
CAN SOMEONE COME AND SEE IF THESE ARE THEIR RAIDERS BECAUSE I AM PRETTY SURE THESE ARE NOT MY RAIDERS.
But if the Raiders win, then how will Gruden push his Carr off a cliff and set forth the age of the Peterman!
Raiders pull it off. Nice
Wow, Browns are pounding the shit out of Baltimore.
Ah, so the assholes on telly ARE Fouts and Eagle… that ‘splains a lot
Browns rubbing it in
JJ Watt ran at him like a cartoon strongman trying to grab Donald Duck
[rummages through Lost and Found, pulls out a set of Raiders]
Are These My Raiders?
Holy shit, a Panther did a good
A pretty weird looking and fraught good, but a good!
JJ Watt is way less annoying when I never see or hear anything from him
Bet Grumblelord gives the game ball to the guy who head shot-ed Brokeback
And pays his fine
And takes him out for dinner and stiffs him with the cheque.
/THE JOKE WORKS BECAUSE BILL BELICHICK IS AN ASSHOLE
It was a completely safe and sound fundamental play. I think first ran by King Leonidas in a pre-season game against the Persian Lions…
I wonder how often both team’s QBs have thrown a pick in the end zone in the same game.
Edit: Well never mind.
Bills gonna Bills.
Yes Fouts, because you want to be further away from the end zone against a top five defense.
o bills part deux
Another advantage of becoming a Bills fan, I already hate the Pats so I’ve got a running start on division rivalries!
Plus if you spread wide enough, you can sneak a billdo into the stands 😀
I was gonna sneak booze in with one of these https://thebeerbelly.com
Howdy. I’ve missed all the things. What’s going on?
Brady sucks now and the Bills are going to win.
What’s going on? You’re Marvin Gaye. That’s what’s going on.
He is? Well, ain’t that peculiar!?!
Buffalo tryin’ so hard
Bills going to have a honey moon at halftime next week
Buffalo medical staff asking Josh Allen to name 2 of the 4 Horsemen
“Arn and Tully”
Josh Allen” Animal and Hawk”
Bills staff “close enough”
Trent Green!
“THIS WAS NOT THE PLAY DESIGN!!”
No shit, no teams in the NFL have anything that fun in their books
Kelce is very good at being a goofy TE
That was incredible.
What’s the concussion protocol for QBs? “Am I holding up fingers?”
“Would you let Cap’n FatFuck escort your sister back home” ?
Escorts who can afford em — Mr Kraft
Harf-harf?! – Cap’n FatFuck (LEADER OF MEN!) on the concept of paying/asking for sex
Andy Reid just holds up chicken fingers, and the answer is always no because he’s eaten them
In Buffalo it’s obviously “how many dildos do you seen on the field?”
-“Yes”
-“He’s good, send him in!”
Rodney Harrison’s heart grows three sizes
Josh Allen is gonna get cleared because NFL
An extremely Belichik-era Patriots hit
trade the yards for the backup QB, this checks out
Holy shit. What a hit.
Oh shit
And back… So, we killed Josh Allen? Wow, I didn’t realise we resigned Hernandez
Allen ded
Brokeback DED
Allen is ded
She’s not making contact with the ball while reaching over the net. Loss of point.
Are the Lions… good?
ish?
Fuck Liouns still gon’ fuck up
Hey, you pick on Jenoris Jenkins 25+ times and score at will, he’s eventually gonna get one INT.
Will Snyder fire Gruden the Lesser and just give him a bus ticket to Raiderland as severance?
He would stick him on a junket bus and give him a $20 stack of chips for whatever shitty casino he owns a part interest in
Raiders QB coach really sweating it this week
I’m thinking of switching to being a Bills fan. It’s been a couple years since I’ve been able to muster any enthusiasm for the Fightin’ Snyders, the Raiders will no longer be my where-I-live team next year, Niners corporate crowd annoys me, and I was born in Rochester so I legit have a Western NY connection. Plus they seem like a fun crowd and I could spend time developing my theory that Zubaz are basically just modern Hammer pants.
Hows your back? Can it handle a folding table?
It’s good, I’ve never had any lower back problems, and my upper-back/shoulder muscles can absorb a fall from a horse, so table is probably fine. I think I pass on that score
Gentlemen, I present BY FAR the healthiest Commentist
If you’re not turned off by carrying Josh Allen’s water, sure. That could be fun.
Did Deandre Hopkins get hurt?
Is he still playing for Dallas Jr?
Oh no. I guess Jackson’s just gonna have to throw it to Mandrews over and over now
Chargers taking the spread as seriously as Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct
Did Andy Reid consult for them this week?
IT’S NEVER NOT FUNNY!
They’ve got a lot in common with Andy Reid.
First picture I’ve seen of her since I found that milk carton on the side of the road.
Why are the Ravens wearing color rush?