None of these tilts strike me as that compelling but what do I know? I was dead wrong about the Thursday Nighter. AND AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, I’LL BE WRONG AGAIN! I’m not usually that confident in my abilities but being wrong is the exception. You see, the law of averages catches up with everyone and I’ve made peace with that. The key is to surround yourself with good folks, trash the rest, and that way you limit the amount of bad decisions you make. Ta da! It really is that easy.
TO THE GAMES!
Bucs/Rams:
If you’ve got depth at the rb position you may want to fade Gurley here. I know-preposterous! But it’s apparently a thing that his usage is being monitored and the Tampa run D is legit and second only to the Pats. (because Fins and Jets)
Seahawks/Cards:
Two very bad secondaries walk into a bar… And I thought the Gmen couldn’t cover the tight end-get a load of these numbers. Arizonny has given up 131 yds, 1 TD to Hockenson, 112 and 1 TD to Andrews and 75 and 2TDs to Olsen. You will play Dissly if you can and you will play him hard!
Vikes/Bears:
“What the raging fuckballs is this start time?”, I imagine Papa Bear Halas screaming from the grave. I also imagine Vince Lombardi shouting, “Keep it down over there. I was just dreaming about beating the wife again and you interrupted!”. Those guys just do not get along. smgdh…
Jags/Broncs:
I’ve run the numbers on this one and it comes up snake eyes. Unless you’ve got some ‘stache kink going for you, there’s nothing to see here.
That’s better
This is all very boring right now and I’ve found myself getting caught up on the fashy shenanigans in San Francisco. How long until this devolves to trebuchet wars?
wait, what?
ugh SF is dumb
Since when the fuck do the refs favor the refs?
I can help Arizona check out some tight ends if they want
The Feast of BLEERGH being observed in Chicago
What the hell refs
Kyler Murray may not have fucked Ted, but he might also not be very good
I think we should all be proud of him for accomplishing as much as he has when he’s fighting against the obvious genetic disadvantages of being born to people who thought it was okay to name their kid ‘Kyler’
Gurley is a much better G-Man than the entire Giants team
ToddGurleyCakeDown!
Flacco is RIGID today, y’all
ELITE drive
Well crap, I had a plan I was going to write down before I started drinking. I’ll have to email it to myself again, because I’m not going to stop watching football and swigging blanc de blancs now just to find a ‘pen’ and ‘paper’
Woah, forgot Suggs was still around
I guess that degree from Ball So Hard University doesn’t mean much. Gotta keep working I suppose.
I would watch Zane Gonzales starring in a movie based on a Zane Grey novel
wasn’t there some “Zane diaries” type thing on Skinemax that was black soft-core porn??
Probably? Throw that into the Zanefest too!
It’s safe to assume that Zanefest will be held at Billy Zane’s house, right?
Seems reasonable, although he will be deemed inferior by the first name Zanes
I dont want to root for injuries, but I want to see Cohen under center
oh FUCK YES
He’s the emergency QB?? Ooooh!
Yuuuup!
Baby Buster. 🙁
#JustATurdOutThere
THROW IT TO ZELDA’S HUBBY
Francis Scott?
Nah. He’s busy ceaselessly beating… something.
if the Qardinals would just use David Johnson like this, they might not be so bad
Truthbiscuit officially on the shelf
“Any news about the bagels?”
-T. Cohen
He’s an elf now?
CAPPPPPTAAAAAAAIIIIINNNN DINGLEBERRY! AHOY!!!!!
Romo referencing Willie Mays? This old guy approves.
/never saw him play
I see that as usual, the Chiefs are accumulating a massive luck deficit during the regular season that will be collected (with interest) once the playoffs start.
Goddamit rapey pirates, I need those sweet, sweet QB points
L’Chaim! Cohen scores!
today, young Lenny has become a man
“Hey! I’m walking into the end zone over here!”
And the “chase daniel is better than trubisky” jokes are gone as soon as they started.
..or not
It’s not a joke when it’s true.
Would you say they got…
(•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)
Stale?
http://instantrimshot.com/index.php?sound=csi
Donks…touched….DOWN??
Wooh!
Bob’s Burgers is back tonight, Always Sunny on Thursday!
The first episode of Sunny was great
I do like the throwback Unis. So many stripes! Like Tiger Bears!
Kirk Cousins fixing to lose to Chase Daniel
Who is Daniel and why should I chase him?
played rugby at university?
Reasonable. Super pissed I missed seeing a Rugby World Cup match in Fukuoka by a day
And Truth Biscuit is going to be Wally Piped by Mr. Daniel.
I checked off Team MRSA for Loser, so good thing I did pick Fuck Liouns despite the difficulty
Chefs win.
Stafford might get another shot. Looked like one second ticked off after the incompletion
“Hail Mary Full of Grits”
NOOOOOOO, another Hail Mary
Truthbiscuit looks like a shoulder injury. Believe me, I know shoulder injuries
Shit, i missed the trubisky hit. Did it look bad, no jokes on this please
ish
‘shaken up’
The scramble attempt looked very bad yes
The fumble looked bad. The hit didn’t.
Truthbiscuit ded
El Bollo de Verdad stinks even more than Brady.
Bollo DED
I am fully prepared for the Derp Off in Chicago
Dig the helmets tbh
Fucking could have had Clowney
The inevitability sucking the soul out of the Lions fans is amazing
There should be a Venn Diagram with Matt Barkley, Nintendo Zapper, and Elmer Fudd with “Wounded Ducks” in the center.
USC quarterbacks are a breed unto themselves
The detroit lions are just hatable enough for me to not root for their underdog status
LOOK AT YOU LIONS!
/this is a kickass game.
3rd and 24? NFL BLITZ!
Matt Barkley showing the accuracy and arm strength that makes him clearly a more intelligent choice as an NFL backup than Colin Kaepernick.
You think Kaepernick should be allowed to hate America on an NFL salary? Well I can refute that with my inconsistent list of stats, salaries, and phrenology charts.
Ehh Matt Barkley the commentator or Matt Barkley the planet?
Too bad Tebow’s already got a gig.
at leest hes not uppity and stands for Murrica not spit on troops libtard