What is there to say? This game is not for the gentle of soul, nor the weak of stomach, the loose of bowels, the scurvy of teeth or the Giant of heart. I don’t think I’ve ever cheered for a truly dominant team that I knew was going to run train on a hapless opponent. Check that-back in my wee days I would sometimes (sometimes) watch the Canadian national hockey team destroy the Norwegians or somesuch. Guh. Of course I don’t recall a single detail of that. Where was I? Yeah, this one’s gonna be a disastercake. And I don’t know why we’re here-other than the fact that we’ll try to put together a cracker of a joke that might cause a total stranger several hundred miles away to unintentionally shart his sweatpants.
TO THE GAME!
Jizziants/Pats:
Let’s run this baby down, shall we?
-the two lead rb’s for the Giants are practice squaders
-Engram, Shepherd, Saquon and Gallman are out (so too are Burkhead, Dorsett and Chung)
-according to PFF, New York’s secondary is comfortably in last place in overall rankings. Opposing qb’s average 72.7% of their passes against them.
-Brady is 12-1 on Thursday Nights
-Rook qb’s are 0-12 vs. Bill Belichick at Gillette Stadium
So what I’m trying to say is, maybe kiss your kids (longer than 3.5 seconds is a no-no, and please! On the cheek for gosh darn sake!) or call your mom-whether it’s across the room or at the assisted living facility, it matters. So what if she confuses you for her actual favourite child, you’ll have given her joy, in that in her mind she wasn’t badgered by ‘the one I should have swallowed’.
Hey! The Sunday start is 9:30 EST sharp for Carolina/Tampa in Londontown. IT’S MANDATORY.
Type away…
The architect who designed obviously failed his SAN roll.
https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/126-Old-Hopewell-Rd-Wappingers-Falls-NY-12590/150884828_zpid/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yrs4bLJUA2U
https://nypost.com/2019/08/22/ex-porn-star-jenni-lee-found-living-in-las-vegas-homeless-tunnel/
Speaking of porn and coinciding with reading ZMF’s twitter, it’s still amazing the first August Ames video I saw (and one of her first) was inspired by and follows the script of the kids being asked what they want to be when they grow up from Doggystyle.
Back to beisball til Saturday
Astros Yanks is going to be really fun.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vehQABHQ-LQ
I am 57 years old and I’ve got to teach my older brothers on how not to search for unsafe porn.
This motherfucking PC is less than 2 months old and it’s got more infestations than a Kardashian.
Goddammit people!
Pornhub!
Their dumb asses are paying for this PC.
If this entire comment isn’t Balls worthy for research, then what are we doing?
* 57
* older brothers
* motherfucking
* 2 months old
* infestations
* dumb asses
This checks out.
I’m sure that tWBS can recommend ways to reach around the viruses.
I act like my porn viewing in done in the equivalent of a level 4 biohazard lab, but I’m sure that the spies are just more clever and the only thing actually saving me is that I have nothing to steal.
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIcB3htOLw4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bcH-gZJlzQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1pRZauWIAo
Is daddy’s little girl upset? lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuWJ0cNdTBU
Saying “SEC” and “SCC” out loud sound exactly the same. WEIRD.
Trump voters don’t know there’s a difference.
:belch:
Texas St. is fielding 2 or 3 quarteredbacks, not quite sure, but one of them has the first name Gresch. And one is Seamus O’Kelly.
The Balls signal
Post game tailgate engaged. Fuck waiting in this traffic
“the one I should have swallowed”
-Indeed!
(Cronos)
Always relevant
“Never had that problem.”
-Heather B.
I did.
— M. Cass
It’s the battle of the 2-3’s, LA Monroe vs. Texas St! Who are the ad geniuses who came up with this one?
Skoal. Rebel Yell whiskey, and… meth?
I’ve seen present day folks devalue terms like “genius” and G.O.A.T. Which is tragic.
But I refuse to tolerate the liberal use of ?. If it’s unrelated to horny stuff, NEVER!
I for one promise to never use… (squints) panties? Jock strap? Irresponsibly.
The mp4 works. https://thumbs.gfycat.com/ImmediateRealisticKissingbug-mobile.mp4
That new Midway movie looks pretty awful.
But, Pearl Harbor and Red Tails were so good!
How do they fuck up such an awesome war?
Fake punk rock goes great with fake Mexican food.
They look awfully happy to have beaten a crippled team with a rookie QB on a short week on the road with criminal assistance from the officials.
The P*triot Way
c’mon, you already covered. Take a knee.
Brady will probably take one knee and then run it up the middle on the next snap.
That no call on Tate? Fix.
Seems like there was never a time where I even questioned the fact that his name is “Golden.” Is that even his real name? Are there any other adjective names? Does he have a borther named Plumbum?
Alright, that was two different penalties on that play.
No, there were none, because the Patriots did(n’t) do either of them.
Welp, off to another stint in NFL re-education camp.
Enjoy Xianjiang!
NFL officiating is such horseshit.
This Julian Edelman I call him a symptom of white flight because he’s got 14 Targets.
Bannerific.
They should really let that Manning kid run a couple of plays.
couple more sacks, at least?
You shooting for a fifty burger from your defense?
I am perpetually fantasy nervous. Plus, I suck at life.
good Christ, they even gonna COVER
Forgot to post the halftime upgraded seats
Gh
I can see my house from there.
What’s all that black smoke coming out of the chimney for?
New Pope.
I want a new Pope
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOL2q8leiLw
Month of macabre continues
?itemid=15074948
Rudy does EVERYTHING to prepare for the monsters. He made the bullets, stole the bow and arrow, sharpened the stakes, EVERYTHING. The others made business cards and played with Frankenstein. The Monster Squad, nee, the world was done without Rudy.
Kids movies suck
DEATH TO THE NCAA PART ELVENTY BILLION:
https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/27814866/mary-hardin-baylor-vacate-2016-division-iii-title-violation
Meanwhile KU has strippers at Midnight Madness and Snoop Dogg wearing Adidas and no penalty at all. Lets beat up a D III school for loaning a kid a car.
and they’re pissed off at California because they want to control which schools are allowed to pay kids
Notre Dame’s literally killed two students, and was allowed to make, the BCS and Playoffs. TWICE.
I was gonna wait for sexy Friday to post this, but the game has me pissed off. I can’t find a decent host site, if someone wants to help me out
https://gfycat.com/ImmediateRealisticKissingbug
That’s amazing
I know right?
Alice In Chains? Nice work, FOX.
the Devil’s team, you get a little Satan In Chains for the ppl
Did I miss the Dropkicks doing Shipping Up to Boston? I’ve been so immobile that I don’t actually believe that could have happened.
I guess that Giants RB is going to find out what it’s like to be 3rd on the depth chart after that fumble.
Oh, right. Never mind.
Sorry dude, but your GF is going to go fuck Gordon Ramsey while you’re not looking.
Pretty sure he’ll be watching, while Ramsey repeatedly mocks and swears at him.
This kind of team gets Belicheat harder than GIFs of starving war orphans
Gives him one that a cat couldn’t scratch.
Not to be a dick, but that’s a TD.
Yep
27 FF points WOO!!!!
This is perfect Troll Tom Brady. Defense does all the work and he sneaks in for a TD from the 1.
/although this looks a lot like a TD.
I’ll try to work that into tomorrow’s call. Like just try to use each word at random times, but in that order.
Who the fuck needs Brady? Just let the NE D go balls out.
Hippo approve!
Balls too!
lol of course
Welp
Wife came out and looked at the score. “Did prettyboy eat a tomato or something?”
Now fire rubber bullets at an iPhone 11 and see how it does. For science
That’s the Hong Kong version.
How is it that the Giants are the only team in the entire league that can put pressure on Brady?
How is that possible?
Some Bene Gesserit thing they got going on. Eli Manning was the last QB that passed the trial of the Kwisatz Haderach.
That or the special “nose powder” that LT brings by before the game.
Old school dune reference
The one remake I’m actually looking forward to!
Well, Lynch’s version was unintelligible. I have the Sci Fi version made 20 years ago on DVD, but to be honest I have never got around to looking at it. I also have the Jodorowsky’s Dune documentary hanging about somewhere, but have never watched that either. What a lazy fuck I am.
Tom Brady doing a very poor Carson Wentz impression on that duck. He’s lucky he didn’t snap in half at the hips.
Yahoo! Sprots apparently thinks it’s breaking news that some team won the WNBA championship.
China: “You let who play basketball?!”