Your “But Wait! There’s More!” Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

TO THE GAMES! (yet again)

Niners/Rams:

Hey, the NFC West is getting verrrry interesting these days, isn’t it? I’d like to personally thank Shanny Jr. for making vultureback Jeff Wilson Jr. a healthy scratch last week so that Breida Filter could get a score. It’s still an ugly RBBC with Coleman back healthy and Mostert in the mix taking targets/touches away from the moneybacks. Team-wise it’s working out quite well. BUT I’M NOT INTERESTED IN THAT.

Falcons/Cards:

FIRE UP THE SCOREBOARD, there’s gonna be a shit-ton of scoring in this one as the flood gates of points are opened. Kyler has been deemed a disappointment thus far but the bar was way too high to start the season. The last three games he’s averaged 63 on the ground and has found his way into the end zone twice. He’s a fine option today if’n you have him.

Titans/Broncos:

Anyone but Delanie Walker. You can run on Denver, you can (sorta) pass on Denver but you can’t feed your tight end vs. Denver. The most anyone has gained against them is a paltry 24 yards by Waller.

Cowboys/Jets:

As noted by commenter Tabula Raza, what the bluefuck is going with this being the national tilt? I guess the Texas/NY/Joisey audience is the thing but yikes, this won’t fly. The Jets slot corner has only given up 56 yards all year but the outside fellas-Trumaine Johnson, Nate Hairston and Daryl Roberts-are allowing 68.6% completion averages to qb’s. Maybe Amari and Gallup will feast? What are your thoughts? Darnold is back and despite the jury being sorta inclined to see him as an underwhelmer, the Jets have averaged 7.6 points and 139 yards in the air without him.

Go be yourself in the comment section.

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WCS

I have to be sure to watch that Sopranos episode with the Columbus Day riot.

litre_cola

One of my fave bands retired a few years ago and now had a 2nd thought.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFb86yrodxE

Viva La Tabula Raza

Also a nice local pub here in San Antonio.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

I secretly hope the Hippo/Litre match ends in a tie. If it does, tWBS takes over first place and I can make fun of both of them.

litre_cola

There are visitors here so I am ignored. I already win TWBS!

theeWeeBabySeamus

/hippo checks medicine cabinet
//heads to Walgreens

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, assuming Julio Jones and James Conner don’t fuck up. Juliio’s trying.

Gratliff

Big day for selfish gloree boy QBs Watson and Jackson scoring on the ground instead of through the air to randomly chosen players like Deandre Hopkins and Mark ANdrews respectively.

litre_cola

Other than my imminent loss to Hippo,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4UqMyldS7Q

Viva La Tabula Raza

Skynet needs to make their Terminators look like total spazzes, like the guy from Big Bang Theory or something, instead of tough guys.

Spur

Do you want another mass shooting because that’s how you get another mass shooting

Viva La Tabula Raza

Whether I want another mass shooting or not is immaterial, since there is probably one happening right now, or one will happen tonight, or maybe tomorrow. It’s a statistical certainty.

Gratliff

One started every time you typed a comma in that sentence

King Hippo

I was assured there wud b no helicopter looking for tha murder

Spur

Dallas is going to kick its way to victory

Sharkbait

Why are the boys not throwing to a perfectly good Gallup?

King Hippo

so Litre can beat me with these goddamn checkdowns to Hooper

The Maestro

Folks, I hope you’re having a great afternoon. Today, I’m here to preach to you about the gospel of poached eggs on hot post-Thanksgiving turkey sandwiches. Oh, men. MEN. You haven’t lived until you’ve tried it. Best sandwich I’ve ever eaten, and it’s not close. The old cheddar and aioli were also highly welcome additions.

I know I’m not yeah right when it comes to my food photography skills, but oh my fuck, this may be the single best thing I’ve ever eaten.
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Sharkbait

Is it Canuck Thanksgiving already?

Brick Meathook

It’s Columbus Day weekend here, where we celebrate fucking over the natives.

litre_cola

Tis why I am in BC!

litre_cola

Suddenly BC Dick is a Cowboys fan?

Brick Meathook

Is that pitch-man in the banner pic the dead one or the one who got beat up by a hooker?

WCS

The latter.

Sharkbait

Hooker assaultee.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Technically still a “Call Girl” then.

King Hippo

Not at all sure the Tits even has first down

Spur

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King Hippo

oooooooh nice

Gratliff

Someone’s late for middle school

theeWeeBabySeamus

Definitely a “Can I see your ID first” moment.

Col. Duke LaCross

“I need to see something official that verifies that you’re eighteen, which you don’t have because you’re not.”

Sharkbait

Go to Gallup you ginger fuck!

WCS

The Jets are going to lose, aren’t they.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Much as I would like to see otherwise, you are probably correct.

Redshirt

Don’t be mad at them. Its in their blood; its all they know.

King Hippo

ALL TEH GALLUP PLS

litre_cola

I be lurking Hippo, even without Coops.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Would you two just kiss already and get it overwith.

litre_cola

He is a Toffee supporter, hence herpes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s the great thing about herpes. You can only get it once.

King Hippo

Noah Fant, FIRST ROUND DRAFT PICK, is good for one collosal fuckup per week

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t think the Cowboys are going to win the super Bowl this year.

King Hippo

Tomsulas will win the NFC at 13-3. The Owl will…not be close.

clint greasewood

Jimmy G vs Tom Terrific in the Owl.

King Hippo

yup, this is the New Prophecy. along with 19-0.

Sharkbait

My name is Sharkbait and I approve this message.

clint greasewood

Rams on the road against the 49ers in LA, win or lose someone is getting stabbed on the Coliseum grounds.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It appears I need a new TE.
Thanks a lot Will Dissly’s Achilles!!!!

Hey I might rename my team to that.

litre_cola

I recently went to Cheezies and Syrah

Horatio Cornblower

Fuck, he was my TE too.

King Hippo

Now Litre shall beat me with Matty Ice garbage points.

litre_cola

AI IS CLOSE!

King Hippo

LOL RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!

Spur

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Redshirt

Now I have the urge to play 3D Chess.

litre_cola

Yes fucking please.

King Hippo

Donks/Tits is as Donks/Tits as one could possibly imagine

Gratliff

lol what the fuck was that Arizona celebration

Redshirt

They’re out of practice. Be patient/

King Hippo

everything about this weekend has reminded me how fucking terrible I am at life. In all aspects.

litre_cola

Everton didn’t lose!

Redshirt

You life isn’t worse than mine, Hippo. Hold on to that.

Brick Meathook

I just won the lottery (again!) while I was getting my dick sucked by a supermodel.

Sharkbait

That kick was damn impressive

Spur

Go Kicker!

Gratliff

booooooooooo

King Hippo

62-yarder!!

litre_cola

NAWT IN DENVER

litre_cola

Who are the Stillers starting tonight?

King Hippo

Devlin something or other. NO CLUE who that is. And Jaylen Samuels is out, who could run QB gadget plays

Redshirt

Ben Roethisburger is busy buying a fake mustache and creating a resume for a Ren Boethisburger.

Sharkbait

So…do I need to get Cities Skylines?

Gratliff

Have faith that EA will reboot the franchise in a respectable manner

Gratliff

Sim City, I meant, which of course is required for the joke to work, but much like the last installment of Sim City, was a massive failure.

hippofant

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hippofant
hippofant

I’m not nearly as good as these guys though. I just like making my own random little cities.

Redshirt

I build them up to tear them down. One city I had so well built, I hit it with every disaster they had at the same time (flood, tornado, fire, riot, aliens, earthquake). Without me doing a thing, the city survived with 80% damage with no power or water outages.

hippofant

Unfortunately, if you want natural disasters, they’re in a paid DLC.

On the other hand, with Steam workshop support, you can just download other people’s cities and enact your homicidal tendencies on them immediately.

Redshirt

If they have Pittsburgh and Ann Arbor in there…

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King Hippo

Momma call him Clay, I’mma call him Clay

Spur

Mono cured him of his Tardness, it made him stronger. Dear God

Sharkbait

He’ll regress to the mean next week

King Hippo

#RetardStrength

King Hippo

I’m with HERDOWN!!!

Sharkbait

This….is not how I thought the Jets game would go. Mrs. Sharkbait approves of the NFC East performances today after Thursday

King Hippo

I better get a fuckton of DAK!/Gallup garbage points in the 2nd

Sharkbait

THIS!

Gratliff

Getting blown out by the 0-4 Jets? Gotta be Dallas!

Spur

jesus…this is sad.

litre_cola

Bill Cosby is misunderstood.

King Hippo

BLEERGH!!! all over the Mile High pitch

Viva La Tabula Raza

Why does hipster Bud Light King feel it’s necessary to degrade Bud Light knight and suck up to Platinum Bud Light knight?

King Hippo

because the Bud Light knight is a slut

clint greasewood

Just wait until he meets the Bud Ice Knight when the Bud Light Queen files for divorce and takes half of his kingdom.

clint greasewood

Picking up Dallas D going against a sickly Sam Darnold has backfired for me. Just like most of my fantasy moves.

Spur

Just start the season
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Gratliff

If Dallas loses, Blogging the Boys is gonna cosplay as Fortnite

Sharkbait

Jest D doing a good?

litre_cola

Where is WEASELO???

Spur

Romo having PTSD watching the hits Dak is taking

hippofant

Here’s the little farming town I’ve been working on today

https://imgur.com/ioeghmB