I’ve taken to walking the winding trails outside town this fall. It’s hard to do in the spring because the paths are so muddy and during the summer the bugs are insane. I don’t know how people do it without mosquito nets, but then those that do wear them look silly. So I’ve started to do my thing in the autumn, first time really.

You meet all kinds out here but not too often which is what I prefer. I like being alone with my thoughts. Yeah, you see birders with their binoculars, couples with a dog or two just stretching the legs, maybe a serious hiker with all the latest gear, occasionally some older folks just dawdling along. Everyone nods friendly-like, makes a short quip about the weather as they pass by. Really nice, by and large.

I didn’t know Freddie (I learned his name much later) at all. We ended up in a grocery line and he struck up a conversation and I found him to be a funny guy initially. This being a small town, I’d see him at Tim Horton’s or at a corner store now and then. He was a little too anxious to talk and was a bit twitchy and I eventually realized he chattered because he was lonely and didn’t have friends. He was that type that was good for about five minutes or so but you then realized he didn’t have an ‘off’ switch. No one wants to be around that sort.

So when I met him on the trail one day I was surprised. He was a bit on the frail side despite the fact he stood 6’1″. He stopped in his tracks, reversed his direction and walked with me. I figured him for late 50’s and told him so.

-man, I’m 41. I used to be about your weight. I ran a solid 210 back in the day.

-shit, what happened?

-Afghanistan happened

-huh?

Turns out he had a history of petty crimes and a ‘law and order’ judge, the one with a brushcut and a square jaw, offered him 18 months in jail or a career in the Canadian Armed Forces. He took the latter.

-I was 28 at the time, a bit older than the rest of my class but after I got into shape I could do run circles ’round those kids. Loved the imposed discipline, did me so much good and I was serving my country. Before I shipped off my dad told me he was proud. For the first time I could ever remember. Of course he wasn’t proud of me, he was proud of what he had produced, he was just that sort of person.

Freddie claims that he handled some substance way over there that eventually had a wasting effect on his body. He was discharged for medical reasons and the forces wiped their hands clean.

-I couldn’t hold any job. It was all back-breaking stuff for me ’cause I weren’t qualified for anything else and I just couldn’t hold up. 190, 155, 140-I couldn’t do anything about it. I’m lucky if I weigh a buck twenty now.

His gaunt features, the way his skin hung off his face told me he wasn’t lying.

I realized we hadn’t run across anyone while he chattered away and I listened. A plan began to form… I asked him if he might want to walk this trail again tomorrow. He tried but failed to keep his composure. He finally had a friend.

-Yeah? Really? Uh, sure, sure. What time?

I picked him up the next day. He lived in an awful cluster of run-down apartments above a laundromat and a barber shop. I didn’t get out of the car. Couldn’t be seen with him. We traversed the winding trail until we got to the spot I liked. There was a sharp-ish turn after coming down an incline and you could see in both directions for a fair bit. I let him get two steps ahead while he nattered on about something.

Reader, I tazed him. He convulsed. I switched out cartridges and tazed him again. Looking back, I think he swallowed his tongue. No need for the finishing touch. I always say, “Those who plan well tend to get lucky”. The last breath eventually made its way out of him, just like it does to everyone. Even me, eventually. The scratch marks that he made on his throat with his own cracked nails was just a bonus. It wasn’t perfect-I’m sure a nosy dog will discover Freddie nestled in the bushes 20 yards off the trail at some point but the fire in my head cooled. Somewhat.

TO THE GAME!

Steelers/Chargers:

Hunter Henry is back in play but as he is made of clay he will be on a limited snap count. What do we know of Devlin Hodges? He went to Samford. His nickname is “Duck”. (I shall christen him “Darkwing”) He is 210 pounds. His chance of being upright at the end of the game is about 33%. One salient fact-once Hodges goes down and Paxton Lynch after him, the emergency qb is 5’8″, 185 pound Ryan Switzer. Oh my.

Do your thing.