Your “Will There be Scoring? Oh Yeah, There’ll be Scoring” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

Man, there’s so little going on out there sports or football-wise but I did see that the on-going tankification of the Fins continues unabated. NFL.com/Ian Rapaport are yakking that Kenyan Drake is on offer. A middling rb on the last year of his rookie deal-the suitors must be tripping over each other to get to the front of the line!

Okay, if there’s nothing happening in sports, then let’s check in on some ports. Away we go!

Haifa:

It’s 24 degrees Celsius there today, which is quite pleasant if you ask me. That’s the perfect sort of weather to unload a half million tons of cargo. (I did the math, sorta) Btw, the Maccabi Haifa basketball squad is playing Maccabi Rishon on Saturday at noon thirty. Tickets can be had for one rooster and half a salt block.

Itaqui:

I need not explain to you that Itaqui is Brazil’s largest seaport-you guys aren’t dumb in the cabasa. It’s 21 and raining but the precipitation is not going to cool things off-it’s going to be 20 overnight. According to Aye caramba!, South America’s version of Yelp, the Estacao Bar is a pleasant experience-the beer is very cold and they serve a tasty picanha.

Klaipeda:

This old town in Lithuania started trading with foreign peoples all the way back in the 13th century. For a city in eastern Europe it’s relatively safe. The odds of you being conked on the head and waking up naked in a glass display case in the palace of the Emir of Qatar run as low as 13%!

TO THE GAME!

Chiefs/Broncos:

The wonk-ity ankle of Mahomes is a worry to fans of the club and a relief to the Denver D. Now that his scrambling forays are reduced, the reigning MVP is taking more chances and missing more throws. Oh, he’ll still toss multiple TD’s but he’s not as efficient. And pass he shall because the Williamses and McCoy have combined for a paltry 89 yards on the ground in the last two losses. Speaking of the run game, Lindsay is averaging 4.7 per pop and the Chiefs D gives up an average of 5.1. Is this the key to a W for them Broncos? I say ‘yes’ because it sure ain’t gonna be won on the arm of Flacco. But!-KC is down to one starting cb and some dregs so… maybe? I’m all over the map here so I’ll shut the old tourtiere-hole.

Gersh dern it. Type.

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Sharkbait

GO FOR IT!

King Hippo

oh yeah, big Stanford/Westwood Klavern matchup on ESPN

Senor Weaselo

BOO THE THINGS.

King Hippo

different channel and sport but AGREE

Spur

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litre_cola

Damn.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Did she lose her arms in an industrial accident?

Sharkbait

What the fuck was that supposed to be?

Spur

Why Vic. Why

King Hippo

try Bud Dry??

Mr. Ayo

D-O-N-K-S WHAAAA??

King Hippo

WHAT THE MOTHERFUCKING SHIT

Viva La Tabula Raza

“This will fool them, for sure!”
—Denver Special Teams coach.

Spur

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jjfozz

THIS JOE FLACCO, I CALL HIM THE WIRE, BECAUSE HE MADE BALTIMORE FAMOUS FOR ALL THE WRONG THINGS

LemonJello

BLEERGH was not satiated earlier this week? Or does their hunger reset after MNF?

WCS

BLEERGH’s appetite is never sated.

King Hippo

HAIL, brother WCS

jjfozz

Don’t ever change JOe

litre_cola

MOAR FLAGS!

hippofant

Why why are they calling holding on a DB on a run play?

Senor Weaselo

FLAGS FOR THE FLAG GOD!

Senor Weaselo

I am not sure who Yankees Twitter would rather string up between Gary Sanchez and Giancarlo Stanton at this point. Might be a coin flip.

King Hippo

Stanton has MOAR melanin

jjfozz

I grew up with rap and hip hop and I love music. The shit my kids listen to is fucking pathetic. I want to gut everyone of these “rappers” and strangle them with their entrails. A big steaming bucket of offal.

hippofant

I’ve read a few hip-hop/africana scholars write about how rap music got gentrified by white studio executives to sell to affluent white teenagers who wanted street cred and… yeah… it’s hard not to feel sad about it.

King Hippo

they barely even talk about slinging drugs and killing whitey no more

Spur

If I watch the baseball game what are my odds giuliani gets arrested by the 6th inning?

Senor Weaselo

He gets booed now. So that must hurt.

LemonJello

Not as much as it should.

jjfozz

They’re going after them because they hate seeing an Italian American be successful….(this is what my grandfather would have said.)

jjfozz

Good evening, you rowdy bunch of liquor sucking, drug guzzling, swarthy bunch of buccaneers

LemonJello

IT’S JJFOZZ!
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Spur

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Unsurprised

Is that photoshopped or full-blown CGI? Because Cassandra Peterson is still hot af

King Hippo

3rd and 16, time for a delayed draw!

King Hippo

or THAT, when Garret Holds doesn’t hold…

Spur

I do hope everyone reads this and passed it on

Our Republic Is Under Attack From the President https://nyti.ms/2MPpTB3

litre_cola

That is a good read. Thanks.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m still pessimistic, but it seems we might have reached a tipping point.

*Trump declares martial law, cancels 2020 elections, proclaims self President for Life.*

Or not.

Thanks for sharing that, despite my pessimism.

King Hippo

Garret Holds is BACK, baby!!

Spur

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hippofant

Da fuq, imgur demands logins now for 18+ pictures?

Edit: Weird. jpg link works fine. I tried the regular imgur link though and it asked for login.

King Hippo

That non-white FB, back when men were BOLTMEN!!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lorenzo_Neal

Redshirt

The only reason why Corey Dillon put up those yards for the Bengals was because Neal was his fullback.

hippofant

Yeah! That guy! Jesus his stats were amazing (I didn’t know enough about FOOTBALL back then to really evaluate his blocking).

“Neal blocked for a 1,000+ yard running back in eleven straight seasons from 1997 to 2007”

Spur

Folks

King Hippo

It takes a Hardman to beat a tough defensing unit.

King Hippo

Jeebus Tapdancing Christ, TACKLE THE 70-YEAR OLD MAN

herodotus450

Some guy named Tennyson scores to put the Devils up 3-1, not my place to wonder why.

herodotus450

Well ok it was a second assist instead, apparently.

King Hippo

Crowd LOVES when Janovich gets the ball. Because he’s a white fullback.

hippofant

Are there non-white fullbacks?

Last one I remember blocked for Ladanian Tomlinson on the Chargers. Forget his name….

King Hippo

oh yeah, that guy caught a few passes too. Had to use him one bye week many moons ago.

King Hippo

Noah Fant blocks about as well as I fuck. And as often.

King Hippo

almost like Andy anticipated ground and pound

/and yes, he would like a pound of ground

Viva La Tabula Raza

Geography/history/stamp collector nerd registers heavy with the Klaipeda reference. Won’t take up bandwidth here, but wiki-search that place, very interesting history there.

King Hippo

Started War Day today. Me gusta.

King Hippo

Vig Fangio has deffo at least ordered a few ppls killed. #Respek

King Hippo

oh, super, I see both my fantasy teams are fading Kermit. Better grab the lube…

Unsurprised

I had my third interview in three days, which is good, and things seem to be going well in general aside from the fissure I seem to have cracked open last night (It’s always fun to see blood where it doesn’t belong), but interviews ≠ job offers, let alone jobs, and it’s just exhausting. But what else is there?

King Hippo
King Hippo

Heard in the car with my kid today. “That song was WEIRD, she said.” Meaning of life, right there says me.

King Hippo

You know, Erin, I am at least significantly bigger than Brittfar

King Hippo

I would like these pre-game shows a lot better if they featured Chuck D.

hippofant

Attention all: I am applying for jobs.

It sucks.

King Hippo

In law school, I kept all my rejection letters in a drawer. I attained well over 200.

hippofant

When was that?

I hear it’s even worse now. Computers mean that law firms don’t need young clerks to run to the library any more, and independent practice is getting ever more expensive with the legal system getting slower and more convoluted.

King Hippo

1995-98. Yeah, being a starting lawyer now is akin to self-harm. My apologies.

hippofant

Oh. Not a lawyer. Computer scientist. It just rests on my conscience as an example of how our collective work and innovation have actually fucked up other people’s lives.

King Hippo

oh, it was always happening. Species evolving towards extinction.

hippofant

You mean I haven’t contributed to the demise of an entire profession and the denial of justice to average everyday citizens? Wooooooo!

Unsurprised

Literally. The number of new lawyers and especially new solos who are drinking or crushing pills and otherwise are just burning out and barely surviving is obscene even by historical standards of the profession. It’s fucked.

King Hippo

That’s why North Cakalaky makes us take a block of mental health every 2 or 3 years. I usually just read and/or gamble on my phone.

Unsurprised

I’m getting certified to teach those courses, but thanks for reassuring my suspicions that most lawyers don’t care.

Sharkbait

Good luck. I do not envy you.

hippofant

I’m already getting a few interviews. But good god, the amount of work I have to do to be like, “Hey yo, I can do what you want me to do.”

And now I have to spend a whole buncha money buying shit to make me look way cooler and richer than I actually am so that they’re impressed enough to hire me so I can make enough money to live my frugal hermit-like lifestyle.

hippofant

#latestagecapitalism

King Hippo

yep, I am a “niche” specialty guy, and I don’t have a rainmaker personality. I would just retire and go on disability if our policy was worth a fuck. Working on a nice mental breakdown instead.

Unsurprised

Same. It totally does.

herodotus450

Why are those two muppets made out of leather? Oh wait it’s Joe and Troy.

King Hippo

Daddy knows what Daddy likes – Troy A., Steersass, TX

Unsurprised

Either I’m being nostalgic and numb, or the Chiefs/Broncos games seem to be among the few that have been historically watchable for the last twenty-odd years. Anyway, as Thursday games go, and considering what dreck TNF usually inflicts on fans,
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King Hippo

that’s because the D-O-N-K-S? Maximum woke

Unsurprised

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Sharkbait

The fuck did I just watch on the TNF pre game show?

Unsurprised

You watched the TNF pregame show?

Sharkbait

It was intermission in Ice Giants vs. Ice…Jets? What have we decided the Devils are?

King Hippo

Ice Generals

King Hippo

Also love the key party pic

King Hippo

good to keep up on them ports, chuh chuh

SonOfSpam

Been seeing a lot of commercials lately for Israel tourism; I guess there’s some interesting old magic stuff there, but being near a violent Palestcide doesn’t seem appealing.

King Hippo

especially if can smell teh bodies burning

Brick Meathook

I’m seeing lots of ads for Saudi Arabia tourism.

King Hippo

watch enough snuff films…

Unsurprised

Already? I’m intrigued as to what they’re selling. It would be interesting to mention on the War Nerd fan page.

SonOfSpam

I thought my wife booked a vacation to see Mauna Loa, but apparently we’re going to Sinaloa this weekend instead. Oh well – when life hands you lemons, make margaritas!

King Hippo

throw a bunch of signs, I hear the locals LOVE THAT

SonOfSpam

We’ll probably get into an argument over lip balm; I like Burt’s Bees, but she like Chapstick. Since we’re in Mexico, I’ll just be shouting, “Chapstick, I mean ‘El Chapo’ SUCKS.” lol

litre_cola

I mean Sin is right there in the name.

Sharkbait

Fuck the Devils. That is all.

ArmedandHammered

All or specific ones? Blue, sun, personal, or a combo?

litre_cola

Don’t forget the one Jesus battles against.

ArmedandHammered

The others exist, I can’t say the same for ole Lucifer.

Sharkbait

New Jersey. The team, and the entire state I suppose.

Don T

??

herodotus450

tankification of the Fins

I knew it! We should’ve made a left turn at Berlin in 1945 and wiped them out while we had the chance.

Sharkbait

Patton DID believe in reincarnation. Maybe Herodotus is Patton?

ArmedandHammered

Do you have to believe in reincarnation to be reincarnated?

Unsurprised

Has he been shot in the ass, like Patton?

ballsofsteelandfury

Anyone have some cool Pornhub search terms for me?

Sharkbait

It’s tame, but Lithuania. It’s name dropped up top. Plus Lithuanian porn has got to be weird

SonOfSpam

“Culiacan money shot”

Senor Weaselo

The Beaties said “Bad Dragon iron sphincter.” Alternately anything but that.

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