Man, there’s so little going on out there sports or football-wise but I did see that the on-going tankification of the Fins continues unabated. NFL.com/Ian Rapaport are yakking that Kenyan Drake is on offer. A middling rb on the last year of his rookie deal-the suitors must be tripping over each other to get to the front of the line!
Okay, if there’s nothing happening in sports, then let’s check in on some ports. Away we go!
Haifa:
It’s 24 degrees Celsius there today, which is quite pleasant if you ask me. That’s the perfect sort of weather to unload a half million tons of cargo. (I did the math, sorta) Btw, the Maccabi Haifa basketball squad is playing Maccabi Rishon on Saturday at noon thirty. Tickets can be had for one rooster and half a salt block.
Itaqui:
I need not explain to you that Itaqui is Brazil’s largest seaport-you guys aren’t dumb in the cabasa. It’s 21 and raining but the precipitation is not going to cool things off-it’s going to be 20 overnight. According to Aye caramba!, South America’s version of Yelp, the Estacao Bar is a pleasant experience-the beer is very cold and they serve a tasty picanha.
Klaipeda:
This old town in Lithuania started trading with foreign peoples all the way back in the 13th century. For a city in eastern Europe it’s relatively safe. The odds of you being conked on the head and waking up naked in a glass display case in the palace of the Emir of Qatar run as low as 13%!
TO THE GAME!
Chiefs/Broncos:
The wonk-ity ankle of Mahomes is a worry to fans of the club and a relief to the Denver D. Now that his scrambling forays are reduced, the reigning MVP is taking more chances and missing more throws. Oh, he’ll still toss multiple TD’s but he’s not as efficient. And pass he shall because the Williamses and McCoy have combined for a paltry 89 yards on the ground in the last two losses. Speaking of the run game, Lindsay is averaging 4.7 per pop and the Chiefs D gives up an average of 5.1. Is this the key to a W for them Broncos? I say ‘yes’ because it sure ain’t gonna be won on the arm of Flacco. But!-KC is down to one starting cb and some dregs so… maybe? I’m all over the map here so I’ll shut the old tourtiere-hole.
Gersh dern it. Type.
Bahahahahahahaha. sry Hippo
— Blair Walsh
let’s watch some XFL
See?! This is what happens when you choose State Farm!!
That’s just fantastic work.
Mahomes hates his family now?
3/10, probably thinks Jee-tuh was a good defensive SS
I don’t like her hair.
I highly recommend the British announcers on APrime. Way more blunt.
Dislocated Kneecap for Mahomes
I’m calling it now. Bengals trade Dalton to Chiefs for a 3rd Round Pick. Dalton goes Super Saiyan Ginger and wins the Super Bowl.
I think you are hallucinating. But that’s a fun thing to do!!!
If Mahomes got back into the game, the best part would be the standing ovation by the Denver crowd
ruled out
The football people I follow on Twitter are all losing their minds right now.
It was President Cheeto all day and now Colonel Ketchup injury.
Lady Spur 2020
I like her hair.
Thank you. She lives in Canada, its an all natural look
maybe Hippo can beat DonT after all WOO!!!
??
EAT Andy Reid!
I need this bottom of the 3rd to become the Houston 620.
ACL is very commonly a walk-off-field injury. VERY.
MAYBE
[hears news that Mahomes is out]
[blows out candles in pentagram]
-Bill Belichick
In case y’all are tired of the football, Episode 2 of Temptation Island is on USA Network tonight!
you’re watching UCLA and YOU KNOW IT
Welp, my Xbox One seems to have shit the bed, and I’m already fucking pissed off. This shit show ain’t helping. Gonna go get me a bourbon and see if I can get my head together.
The Midway movie premire and that fucking Kay Jewelers commercial didn’t help either.
you noe, I have had better sportsball weeks
Broncos really regretting not going for 15 instead of 2 earlier.
Elite strip-sack for six?
E-MOTHERFUCKING-LITE!
I’m more surprised that Matt Moore is still around.
Jeeeeeeeeebbbbbbus
EDIT – meant for the torn jeans lady
Fernando Rodney is in the World Series. That one is equally as shocking.
this is just incredible
ELITE ELITE ELITE
godfuckingdamnit DONKS
MAYBE THROW NOW THAT THEY DON’T HAVE A QB TO KEEP OFF THE PITCH
Good idea. DONKS!
I hope Andy Reid gets all the fate he deserves
Dying from a wasting disease?
https://gfycat.com/@unsurprised/collections/WvcuoCw1/models-ik3K
https://gfycat.com/@unsurprised/collections/M4sJvO7Y/eats-channel-videos
https://gfycat.com/@unsurprised/collections/lUukg9Y8/yanet-garcia
https://gfycat.com/@unsurprised/collections/cjWYRN94/ariel-winter
https://gfycat.com/@unsurprised/collections/fqyiJ883/wrestling
https://gfycat.com/@unsurprised/collections/0795991334d3912346b581f6152cfc09/dance
https://gfycat.com/@unsurprised/collections/2fb68c248d45e6ad6b5e81543bcf8efc/famous
Thanks for trying to cheer us up.
GOD NO NOT THE KAY JEWELER COMMERCIALS YET YOU CUNT BAG FUCKTARD ASSWIPING DICK HOLES!
Sweet, delicious Fozz rage.
Yup that Midway remake looks like a hot kettle of shit
After seeing that trailer for Midway, I almost hope the Japanese win in this version.
The 32 Quarterbacks who started the 2019 Season, I call it a Royal Rumble because this will end with all being eliminated for the season except for one.
The one being Brady because God is dead.
So…..football season is over now.
at least he didn’t die in vain. Oh wait…
It’s like the Chiefs learned nothing from Kevin Durant.
oopsie, no, that is an ACL
Going for a walk. If I don’t return, avenge my death.
Instant replay of the 2019 Chiefs season
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vrm8TV7K4zo
They might as well not even play the AFC playoffs.
Dolphins injure Brady. Problem solved.
Andy Reid sent his injured QB in for a run .
Garbled communications. He meant a Taco Bell run.
MINA KIMES WUZ RIGHT
Um….so this isnt good.
WONKY ANKLE ALERT!
Who is the backup? Brody Coyle?
Crody Boyle
Not Andy’s son. Because he even MOAR ded.
What a light weight, I sure wasn’t one – M Hutchence
OH FUCK
And he’s ded.
He’ll remember who he is tomorrow. MAYBE.