Your Saturday Evening “Broken Clocks” Open Thread

Twitter only did two things correct yesterday.

The first was to let the readers of [DFO] know that love is both dead and alive.

If this ugly, yet obviously well-hung troll can land her, then any of us have an equal shot now that she’s wounded.

The second was to let me know about another version of “Chucky Dog” in time for both the Raiders game and Halloween.

Everything else was a cesspool of misery and election memes – both Canadian & American. At least our misery is over on Tuesday.


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Game 6: Yankees at Astros – 8:00PM | FS1 / Sportsnet
  • NHL:
    • Bruins at Leafs- 7:00PM | CBC
    • Senators at Coyotes – 7:00PM | Sportsnet360 / City
    • Flames at Kings – 10:00PM | CBC
  • NCAA:
    • Kentucky at Georgia – 6:00PM | ESPN
    • Colorado at Washington State – 7:00PM | ESPNU
    • Michigan at Penn State – 7:30PM | ABC
    • Tennessee at Alabama – 9:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
    • Boise State at BYU – 10:15PM | ESPN2
    • Nevada at Utah State – 10:15PM | ESPNU
  • CFL:
    • Blue Bombers vs. Stampeders – 7:00PM | TSN / ESPN+
  • Rugby World Cup:
    • Wales vs. France – 3:15AM | TSN / NBCSN
    • Japan vs. South Africa – 6:15AM | TSN / NBCSN
  • MLS:
    • 2019 MLS Cup Playoffs:
      • Western Conference Round One – Real Salt Lake vs. Portland – 10:00PM | TSN5

Tomorrow I’m in BeerBrother’s company box for the Hawks-Ravens game. There might not be a “Boots on the Ground”, but there will be beers in my tummy!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Spur

Boise state vs BIg Love should be the final test for Boise. I suggest y’all back east man up and watch.

Senor Weaselo

Still not capitalizing.

Horatio Cornblower

This constant first pitch swinging in a bullpen game is questionable to say the least.

Spur

Pedo State has jumped on Michigan with tricks ( & the promise of free candy)

Viva La Tabula Raza
Spur

Lord help me, am watching baseball.

Mr. Ayo

This is actually not a boring game.

Viva La Tabula Raza

SUDDEN CHANGE Longhorn turnover.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I guess Vegas hotel using Poison’s “Nothing But a Good Time” makes more sense than Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines using Iggy PoP’s ode to heroin addiction “Lust for Life” to advertise their cruises.

Horatio Cornblower

Cracked me up every time I heard it.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, it does have a catchy hook, if you don’t listen to the lyrics.

herodotus450

Ha what the fuck, wisconsin lost?

Mr. Ayo

Lovie Santa came early this year.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Looks like someone came all over his face

Spur

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Spur

Pedo State is in trouble and not with investigators they can pay off.

Redshirt

Yes, go Michigan!

In a related topic, does anyone have a spare liver they’re not using? I fear the amount of alcohol needed to root for Michigan is causing severe damage.

Horatio Cornblower

Ask Scotchnaut. He’s gotta have one laying around.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I got up last night to take a piss and my liver was already there throwing up in the toilet.

Viva La Tabula Raza

“He’s coming out in Austin here tonight.”

Good place for it, Austin is a pretty liberal and tolerant place (except for the people that currently are in charge of the state government).

Unsurprised

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Horatio Cornblower

Looks like security tossed his ass right after. A true martyr for a worthy cause.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I thought someone last night said it was a brockmire promo. Too lazy to Google.

Viva La Tabula Raza

There was a similar incident about 40 years ago, Dallas at Tampa IIRC, when some folks that had a banner and apparently a portable TV, when the camera panned to their poster, it immediately dropped to expose a backing banner that said “HOWARD SUCKS,” obviously during the Cosell era.

Spur

baba booey!

Gratliff

Twitch becoming an option for companies that don’t feel like dealing with TV leads to lots of unintentional comedy like AAA wrestling doing an “English” stream that appears to be mostly a Mexican dude reading from google translate

Viva La Tabula Raza

UT/KS game seems to be more interesting to watch than the ALCS game.

King Hippo

UT just committed THREE penalties on the same play

Senor Weaselo

Hail JV BLEERGH!

King Hippo

holy cats, they just showed UT’s offensive coordinator, and he must be AT LEAST 600 lbs

/imagine being the intern who has to wipe his ass

Spur

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King Hippo

3/10, Jeebus hand tattoo

Spur

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King Hippo

yoga pants, so very versatile

Remember Romonobyl’s great contribution – and no yoga pants shall be allowed above size 6

ballsofsteelandfury

Nice view!

Viva La Tabula Raza

I like her mountains.
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Viva La Tabula Raza

At least our misery is over on Tuesday.

South of the border here, I fear our misery is just beginning. Perhaps y’all should consider building a wall.

“This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.”

Spur

Pedo state so boring to watch.

King Hippo

they just want to bleed clock, get back to the showers

King Hippo

who do y’all think wins the bronze medal between Yanks and #BFIB?

Mr. Ayo

Only one of those are still playing, so that’s my answer.

King Hippo

yeah, we are gonna have TOTES a rest advantage.

King Hippo

I offer a FACK YOU to the Yinzers, for ensuring that every sportsball event now has team-coloured jism rags for all the yokels.

Spur

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ballsofsteelandfury

That’s fucking funny

Mr. Ayo

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ballsofsteelandfury

???

Spur

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ballsofsteelandfury

Holy smokes!

King Hippo

I don’t want to be a negative nelly, but I ain’t sure them is real.

Mr. Ayo
Spur

MVP MVP MVP

King Hippo

Ukraine, or Czech Republic?

Horatio Cornblower

Car trunk, or locked up in false basement?

King Hippo

wait, what time is it again?

ballsofsteelandfury

Oh, I’m pretty sure those are real. They hang right.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I don’t know about that. They look kinda like they might be a little flapjacky when unleashed, headed for the armpits when prone.

Gratliff

4-1 Stars. Dallas scores on all 2 of its shots in the third period.

Senor Weaselo

Wow.

Horatio Cornblower

Drinking one of these thanks to my apparently-slutty beer exchange partner BFC
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who sent you the glass? I sure as shit ain’t that nice?

Gratliff

Flyers have a 36-13 lead on shots on goal. Currently losing 3-1. Hockey was a mistake.

Sharkbait

I feel you. I’ve never been more excited for a Rangers team that is going to miss the playoffs by 10 points.

Senor Weaselo

But Kaapo?

Sharkbait

Hence the excitement

Senor Weaselo

Well, bases loaded, two outs, seems like another opportunity for the Yanks to squander. (And yup.)

King Hippo

This is gonna be a 6-hr game

Horatio Cornblower

I’m all for letting Didi go next year.

Gratliff

Welp. Flyers are bad again. They had a good 2 game run.

Sharkbait

I forget who it was that was posting about Cities Skylines the other day, but theyve convinced me to pull the trigger

ArmedandHammered

I think it was Hippofant

Horatio Cornblower

Joe Buck mentions that Gleyber Torres is 22, everyone drink!
/Everyone dies by the end of the game

Unsurprised

I saw both Penn State and Baylor trending on Twitter. I hope it’s because they burned to the ground, but God wouldn’t be so kind.

Anyway,

Bernie has the hottest fan base. Here are some of the types of people I saw there:

-Nerds with hickies

-Hippies

-Fashion students wearing their designs

-An old man in an Antifada tee shirt with an iced coffee in the back pocket of his jeans

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Gratliff

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Horatio, don’t get jealous but I’m shipping beer to another man

King Hippo

WHORE

Horatio Cornblower

It’s like I don’t even know you any more.
/I’ve been seeing Snow on the side

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Don’t tell him, but this is for another Coloradan

Senor Weaselo

Breaking news: Gary Sanchez actually did a good.

Horatio Cornblower

Average now up to a scintillating .112

Redshirt

According to CBS UNC lost with a safety in the 6th OT.

King Hippo

after 4 OT, they do dueling 2-point conversions. Amazingly, ZERO points scored by either shitty team during OTs 3, 4, and 5

Horatio Cornblower

I look forward to AJ Hinch making fun of the Astros short left-field porch.

Gratliff

Flyers really excel at getting into the crease, hitting the puck a whole bunch while the goalie scrambles, and not scoring

Senor Weaselo

Well, fuck.

Mr. Ayo

3 runs isn’t that much with the juic….

Oh, right.

Gratliff

Castle Rock sure gets weird later on. Suppose it’s to be expected of a Stephen King product.

Horatio Cornblower

John Smoltz alternating between talking about how the Astros have seen a lot of the Yankee bullpen, a topic he has flogged to death over the last three games, to now pondering what the heartbeat of each manager is and I’m now wondering if I can justify not watching an elimination game because Jesus Christ, Smoltz.

Senor Weaselo

Between Buck and Smoltz, it’s pretty brutal.

King Hippo

and now Yuli

King Hippo

Wake Forest is currently running train on the Semenholes. You have to REALLY hurt FOAR Jameis, ya know??

Horatio Cornblower

Yankees are going with the Chad Green as the “opener”, then right to their exhausted bullpen in an elimination game.
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King Hippo

should have challenged Dirt 500s to a dance-off instead

yeah right

Or a spelling bee.

King Hippo

Impressive just how many uninteresting, non-competitive JV NFL fixtures are in play. And the Paedos are winning.

Mr. Ayo

The Memorial Manginos are putting on a good show so far.

King Hippo

Steer Fuckers South are cockteases when it comes to upsets, though

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Late afternoon steak poop? Late afternoon steak poop.

King Hippo

what of teh shame vomiting?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not needed at this juncture

King Hippo

That’s what YOU think, Mister Man! – Karen C., parts unknown

King Hippo

Today was…great only in the early morning. But HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Fuck U*NC, losing in 6OT has to leave a mark. At least the Shitty Wolves won’t have to beat them to keep out of ACC title game.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

The replay official for Oregon Washington is named Jack Wood.

Giggle as much as you see fit.

Redshirt

He’s an expert at watching videos for two minutes until he is satisfied.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Redshirt

I’m going to have to root FOR Michigan?!?!?!

I need the strongest thing anyone has. This is a Level-10 Emergency!

ArmedandHammered

Remember, this IS the darkest timeline.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

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WCS

Off to see The Office: The Musical

Perhaps a BotG if I actually remember this time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I know the words, just not this particular combination.

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King Hippo

goddamnit, I don’t have the time nor energy to masturbate tonight

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

I don’t know…. Five steps to make a decision?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

at least.

scotchnaut

Oregano battling back!

scotchnaut

They get the TD but they left a lot of thyme on the clock.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Anise seed what you did there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

They need to be more dynamic and stay out of their basil defense.

yeah right

They need a long sustained chive right now.

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