Your Sunday Night Football Open Thread

I looked down at my battered cardboard suitcase and smiled. My larger-than-average pocketknife (his name is ‘Buck’) was nestled inside his sheath which was wrapped inside some underclothes. I could do better than this but it’s more important to blend in. Mother had passed in ’26 and left me a surprising amount of money ($15,000) that I put into that roaring stock market. I doubled my money and then tripled that afterwards. I listened to the nay-sayers and pulled most of my money out in the summer of ’29 and now it’s 1932 and I’m sitting real pretty. No need for a job but what to do?

Well, first things first. I headed to the dining car at the front of the train and bought a half loaf of bread, a slab of ham and a pat of butter and went back to my seat. I’d heard about these ‘Hoovervilles’ popping up all over the US and I couldn’t turn down the opportunity. The train from Toronto to DC should take almost two days but I’ve got plenty of time to do what needs to be done.

-Joshua! Don’t bother that man!

The voice sounded distant and it broke my reverie. A boy with sallow cheeks and sunken eyeballs was staring at my meal on the seat beside me.

iripped off a big piece of bread and ham and passed it to him. He smiled but didn’t say a word.

-You didn’t have to do that, mister. Joshua can be such a nuisance sometimes.

-It’s nothing at all ma’am. It’s more than I can eat anyhow.

The woman in the plain dress and bonnet thanked me. She must be from the country. Why she was headed to the States, who knows.

The train finally pulled into Union Station. I gathered my things and took a taxi to The Mayflower Hotel. My thought was that if it was good enough for Coolidge’s inaugural ball, it’s good enough for me. The room was comfortable and the smell of freshly-cut flowers filled the air.

The next day I headed out to the Anacostia Flats where approximately 43,000 folks had assembled a community, the pathetic hovels consisting of bits of brick, wood, sheet metal and whatever else kept the rain out and the despair in. The plan was to pretend to be a reporter, to say that I was going to report their story in a sympathetic manner. They should be paid their war bonus now, in ’32 and not have wait another thirteen years.

I scouted the periphery, seeing veterans of WW1 and their wives, children and various hangers-on milling about. After all, what was there to do? Late in the afternoon my eyes fell upon a one-armed man that looked promising from a distance. I identified myself as a reporter from The Milwaukee Caller.

-That’s one of them Communist papers ain’t it?

-No it’s not really like that. I just want to hear your side of the story. All I read is that this place is filled with radical agitators that want to overthrow the government.

-Hah! That’s rich. What’s it’s filled with is men and women and little ones that have fallen on hard times and just want to get back up again.

He led me to his shambling hovel and I’m glad he missed my sharp intake of breath when I realized he was living alone. Things were falling into place.

-I was with the First Division-we were called The Big Red One.

-You saw some action?

-Not nearly as much as the Frenchies we fought beside but more than enough.

He poured some coffee from a battered and bruised urn. It was watery and acrid-tasting at the same time. He saw my face as I sipped.

-The water has been through these coffee grinds a few times-best that I can do.

-Tell me about-I gestured to his arm-how you lost it.

-They say you don’t hear the shell that puts you under but I heard mine. Got hit with a ton of shrapnel-last thing I saw was the bone sticking out my arm. Woke up in hospital with just the left one. I came back and all I could get was a janitor job. The principal figured out I couldn’t keep up even though I came in on Saturdays and even Sundays after church.

-You still go? To church?

-Not anymore now. Our military chaplain kept telling us that God had a plan but from what I saw there was nothing, no plan, just men dying in horrible ways every damn day. After I lost my job I made my way here, hoping that something can come of our demands.

-My heart jumped as he brought his old rifle out from under his bed. He still had the bayonet attached.

-Don’t worry, it’s not loaded. But I’m bringing it to the march tomorrow.

-I tried to keep calm.

-Can I see it?

-Sure. He handed it over.

-Do you think maybe with the bayonet on, it might rile some folks? There’s talk of some army guys might be watching you march.

-Yeah, I guess you’re right.

-I can take it off for you if you like.

-Sure. He bent away from me at the waist to grab a pamphlet-

-Have you read-

-The knife went into his side and he flailed a bit. I turned him and sunk it deep above his pelvis and ripped up to his rib cage. Parts of him were coming out and he tried to hold it in for a bit and then his eyes rolled back into his head. Bubbling saliva came out of the corners of his mouth as he began his passing.

-I slipped out of Hooverville under cover of the night and made my way back to the hotel using as many side streets as I could. There was no need but old habits are good habits.

-I slept almost the entire way back home to Canada.

TO THE GAME!

Chiefs/Packers:

Oh, this could have been a glorious shootout and might still be if Moore can be 65% as effective as The Mahomes. Tyreek has been phenomenal on very few opportunities the past two weeks. On 8 catches he’s got 3 TD’s and 154 yards receiving.

Do your thing.

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Mr. Ayo

Who says baseball is boring?

h
ttps://i.imgur.com/y7zrTJP.jpg

Brocky

Reminds me of the girl flashing when the caps won the cup

Horatio Cornblower

Exactly what I thought.

I do appreciate the coordinated bright yellow shirts. Clearly planned ahead.

Brocky

One of the most annoying things packers fans do is how insistent they are in saying that Rodgers hasn’t had a. Average to good offensive line for the majority of his career.

No one else seems to do as many mental gymnastics to try to put people on as high a pedestal as possible

Doktor Zymm

People do that a lot, it’s just not always football players.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

And ALL other football fans do that with their favorite players.

Brocky will do plenty of mental gymnastics to justify his Packer hatred, and quite frankly I like that and hope he never changes. It’s just good inter-divisional HATE.

Brocky

No idea what you’re talking about
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hehehehe…..

Gratliff

To be fair, at one point, there was an Aaron Rodgers sack tracker. I’m convinced he actually died 10 years ago.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Sack tracker.”

hehe….

ballsofsteelandfury

Balls search term?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Tea party.

Brick Meathook

It’s time for ANDY REID CLOCK MANAGEMENT!

hippofant

It’s always time for Andy Reid clock management according to Andy Reid clock management.

Gatoraids

Andy Reid confused as to the thought of the other team running the ball with. Lead in the fourth

WCS

I’m going to preemptively apologize for tomorrow night’s game. I don’t know if Wakezilla agrees with me, but, I imagine he does.

King Hippo

Will still cherish every moment. Has to be better than my Donks hosting KC?

Gatoraids

The nfl version of the aristocrats dolphins vs Steelers followed by dolphins vs Jets… So is that all ya got

King Hippo

revised predicion – 34-24

Mr. Ayo

31-24. They’re just going to bleed the clock.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Every month.

Spur

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Game Time Decision

Hasn’t done leg day in 5 years

WCS

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herodotus450

Did you guys know there’s no conclusive evidence connecting saturated fats with elevated levels of serum cholesterol?
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Gratliff

The people who told us about sun block were the same people who told us, when I was a kid, that eggs were good. So I ate a lot of eggs. Ten years later they said they were bad. I went, “Well, I just ate the eggs!” So I stopped eating eggs, and ten years later they said they were good again! Well, then I ate twice as many, and then they said they were bad. Well, now I’m really fucked! Then they said they’re good, they’re bad, they’re good, the whites are good, th-the yellows – make up your mind! It’s breakfast I’ve gotta eat!

Doktor Zymm

Fun story, in some people (including me it turns out) strenuous exercise is associated with a spike in HDL levels within 18 hrs. My last physical, my doc is all ‘OMG THEY CAN’T DO A QUICK NUMBER BECAUSE YOUR NUMBERS ARE SO HIGH’. I mention I’ve had really high HDL measurements before, she’s all ‘hrmmm’ . I get a call later in the week that my numbers are fine, it’s HDL. I do less than 10 minutes of follow up research, discover it’s a known effect of doing blood tests immediately after the gym.

herodotus450

Don’t go to the gym, got it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Huuummmmmm…. so, the fats made in cheaply in bulk in factories is bad for you , but natural fats in moderation are actually good for you; WHO WOULD HAVE THUNKED THAT?!?

Spur

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King Hippo

Nothing makes a middle-aged white guy harder than a deferential black person that calls him “sir.”

Horatio Cornblower

I’m a middle-aged white guy and I have to say that’s doing nothing for me.

Mr. Ayo

Try it in the bedroom with your wife.

Doktor Zymm

Eh, I don’t mind calling a guy ‘sir’ but I won’t do blackface

herodotus450

“(Crosses Zymm out of little black book)”
-Ted Danson

King Hippo

(of the Collinsworth ilk)

hippofant

Collinsworth is 60 now. Is that still middle-aged?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I can’t afford that. White sub hookers are a lot cheaper. Tall thin doms are the best though.

Game Time Decision

Last possession wins?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Looks like we might get barnburner. Or that other word y’all use here, having to do with baked goods with a tropical bent.

Doktor Zymm

Mango cupcakes?

King Hippo

anything mango is AWESOME

yeah right

Pomegranate jelly is the greatest jelly.

King Hippo

where does one find this?

yeah right

My grandmommie made it and nobody else that I’ve ever seen and now I think I’ve got to make some for Sunday Gravy. Goddamnit I’ve never made jelly but now I feel compelled.

Doktor Zymm

This Jones fellow, quite good at the footballing

King Hippo

Good game continues to be good.

Doktor Zymm

The only difference between knuckle pushups and regular pushups is that knuckle pushups both look more badass and are better for your wrists and elbows

Viva La Tabula Raza

I gotta say that the Allstate Mayhem guy, who also got kilt by John Wick, and apparently was in some HBO series I never saw, is one of my favorite TV ad actors at present.

Horatio Cornblower

Oz, and holy fuck is that a dark trip.

King Hippo

yeah, good show but a REALLY hard watch

Viva La Tabula Raza

Dark as Requiem for a Dream? If so, I will pass,

Horatio Cornblower

I would say worse, but it would be a photo finish.

Mr. Ayo

He was also in that Denis Leary 9/11 firefighter show. (Rescue Me)

BugEyedBoo

Also in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. My wife is still pissed that they cancelled that show after two seasons.

Downfield Matriculator

And he was Det. Agnew on Battle Creek, which was not great but deserved more than one season. He was awesome as the cynical guy in that.

Gratliff

Ryan O’Reilly, cop brother in Rescue Me, pedophile pager salesman boyfriend in 30 Rock. All great characters. Dean Winters is fantastic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpP5FLr0LY8

King Hippo

I am already too tired for OT. So there will surely be OT.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Have some kawfee.

theeWeeBabySeamus

DAMMIT!!!
OK, so if Connor goes for 40 tomorrow…..I’m gooooooood.

Spur

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Spur

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Horatio Cornblower

That is some fantastic baby weight.

Redshirt

I don’t know who Chris Cillizza is but he deserves a hug and a calm voice repeating “Its not your fault”, because this guy listens and try to make sense of Trump’s speeches. People have become supervillains over far less.

https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/27/politics/donald-trump-baghdadi-death-isis/index.html

hippofant

Daniel Dale’s live-tweeting of Trump’s speeches got him bumped from the Toronto Star up to the Washington Post.

Wakezilla

Oh no. Cillizza is a troll and only deserves bad things.

He once wrote an article about health care being bad and used sad emoji emoticons to represent people living

King Hippo

total epitome of “Beltway mentality”

Horatio Cornblower

Exactly. Cilliza is a piece of shit. If he got run over by a bus the only tragedy would be the people who were late for work as a result.

Brocky

My dad can’t stand neither joe buck or collinsworth.

We’re watching big trouble in little China. Never seen it all at once, just random parts together

Spur

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Viva La Tabula Raza

1980s John Carpenter is Peak John Carpenter. Escape From New York, The Thing, Big Trouble, and They Live are all fucking phenomenal.

Spur

The Thing is a masterpiece

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Brocky

Month of macabre continues…… good lead in if I say myself

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Brocky

I also think prince of darkness is underrated. That being said, trouble in China just feels like it can’t decide if its scary, cool, or funny, and kinda falls short on all 3 fronts

theeWeeBabySeamus

Is that the one with Sam Neill?

Brocky

Nope. That’s into the mouth of madness. Prince of darkness is the one in the church basement with the doctor from halloween. Crazy hobo played by alicea cooper

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ah. Don’t think I’ve seen that one.

Brocky

Its not his best directing work, but the theme is carpenter’s best beside work since the Halloween theme

https://youtu.be/CTVFlMy5kdw

Gatoraids

Wearing a big trouble t-shirt now with a Kabuki Russell on it

Gratliff

What the fuck? Steelers-Dolphins tomorrow? What did we do to deserve this fate?

Mr. Ayo

Um, scroll down?

Redshirt

We touched overselves at night.

Spur

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Spur

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Viva La Tabula Raza

As a football fan with no skin in the game tonight, I think this has actually been a pretty entertaining match thus far.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Indeed.

King Hippo

yup

Horatio Cornblower

Trump showed up at the Nationals game on the day he announced that we got the head of ISIS, no doubt assuming he’d be welcomed as a hero.

https://twitter.com/i/status/1188624504110682112

He was wrong

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Some mid manager = Bin Laden you Obummercommie!!

Viva La Tabula Raza

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Redshirt

It would be nice, but he screwed himself (other than everything else he did) spent his verbal masturbation session saying he was a coward who died a coward’s death. The hero does not kill the coward.

Horatio Cornblower

Especially when the “hero” couldn’t go to war due to bone spurs.

Spur

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Doktor Zymm

This is my fav tonight 🙂

Gratliff

That seems…unhealthy?

Game Time Decision

Google show me the opposite of a hernia

Spur

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Spur

Fuck him

Viva La Tabula Raza

Dat wuz crazee.

Mr. Ayo

Wow!

Gratliff

oh that was some bullshit Brett Favre gunslinger luck horseshit

Doktor Zymm

Yep, and I knew to look up for it since my feed is so delayed! Hurrah!

ballsofsteelandfury

“Police business is a hell of a problem. It’s a good deal like politics. It asks for the highest type of men and there’s nothing in it to attract the highest type of men. ”

– Raymond Chandler, “The Lady in the Lake”

Just finished reading that book. Chandler is awesome.

Brick Meathook

“She reached into her bag and slid a photograph across the desk, a five-by-three glazed still.
It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. She was wearing street clothes that looked black and white, and a hat to match and she was a little haughty, but not too much. Whatever you needed, wherever you happened to be–she had it. About thirty years old.
I poured a fast drink and burned my throat getting it down. ‘Take it away,’ I said. ‘I’ll start jumping.'”

-Raymond Chandler, Farewell My Lovely

Brocky

Rodgers knows they can’t touch him.

Makes him so sad

Viva La Tabula Raza

So, is his Orange Majesty still at the ballgame, or did he go home to watch Tucker or Hannity or whoever the fuck?

Redshirt

I’m starting a diet tomorrow. I don’t want to, but I’m down to my last pair of jeans I can fit into and I am NOT spending money going up a size!

Doktor Zymm

Are you in a situation where robes, scrubs or towels are not an option?

Game Time Decision

Good for you to start.

Brocky

I’m on week 2 of cutting fast food and chips out of mine. Keep strong brother

King Hippo

I’m back on the juice diet. I refuse to buy another suit, and what if someone dies before I can lose 15 pounds?

Being cheap comes in handy.

Gratliff

At one point, I had dropped almost 80 pounds and I spent a solid 80% of my time bitching about the cost of replacing my wardrobe instead of actually enjoying the weight loss

Redshirt

I had the same way. In a weight loss competition at work, I went down to 150 and my pants were at least two sizes too big.

Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Ooh, SOMEONE waxes

Brocky

As an aside, holy shit is watchmen weird

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Good; I’ll start watching.

Horatio Cornblower

Kind of had to be given the source material.

I’m enjoying it so far.

Spur

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Horatio Cornblower

The balls and strikes calls in this game are bordering on Little League World Series quality.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Scotchy, no!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Game Time Decision

Failed flea flicker. Hahaha

Game Time Decision

Shady coughs it up

Brocky

If its illegal throw the fucking flag

Viva La Tabula Raza

SUDDEN CHANGE!

Brocky

Oh for fucks sake

Doktor Zymm

Based on this comment, I’m on at least a 15 second delay

Brick Meathook

Does anybody watch these shit NBC shows? They look horrible.

Doktor Zymm

Do you know how many horrible people we have in a national audience? MANY

Viva La Tabula Raza

It’s like Orcs or Morlocks are in the majority.

Game Time Decision

Most network shows fall under this question for me.

Spur
Spur

Rodgers excepts a teabag if you’re going to put him on his bac