(Caption for picture above:  “The Jets!?  The fucking Jets!?”)

When I wrote the season preview, which I have shamelessly cut-and-pasted into this post, Zeke Elliott was holding out in Mexico.  I predicted, correctly that he’d be signed, rich, and playing by Week 1 and by God he was.  I also predicted that the Cowboys were likely to go 11-5 and win the NFC East and let’s just say the jury, unlike mine from last week, is still out on that one.

So what’s the Dallas outlook at the bye?

Pre-season, the Dak camp was making noise about demanding $40 million a year when his contract came due.

“I want(ed) a contract this big!”

The first three games of the season it looked like they were underselling Dak.  He went through his opponents (New York Football Giants, Washington Redacteds, Miami Lolphins),as if they were nothing more than an imported chopped ham, with perhaps some water added.  Unfortunately for Dak, and the Cowboys, that’s pretty much what those first three opponents were.  What they were not were very good NFL teams.  Two of them aren’t even trying for anything other than the 1st overall pick.

The next three games were against the Saints, the Packers, and, Jesus help us all, the goddamn Jets.  The Saints have a very good defense, probably the best Dallas has seen yet, and they shut the Cowboys down.  Dallas kept things close, because their own defense has been good as well, but most importantly because Brees had a thumb owie and didn’t play.  Also the Cowboys elected to throw a couple of last minute bombs for TDs rather than trying a 69, (nice), yard FG.  While desperate and unlikely to succeed, the Cowboys kicker might actually have been able to make that, and he certainly had a better chance then Dak did of hitting for the TD.  Which he did not.  12-10 Saints, (in a game that was more entertaining to watch than the score would imply), and so much for the dream of the undefeated season happening anywhere other than New England.

The next game was against the Packers and the Cowboys outplayed Green Bay on both sides of the ball for a half.  Unfortunately, as the word “half” implies but which Dallas apparently didn’t pick up on, there are two of them in every game and Dallas just did not show up at all in the first one.  The final score, 34-24 Packers, doesn’t do justice to how ineptly Dallas played in the first half, and probably had more than a little to do with Green Bay coasting through the last 30 minutes.

And then they played the Jets and somehow managed to lose 24-22.  Darnold was back, true, but that doesn’t account for the Jets defense throttling the Cowboys offense (that offense missing both starting tackles probably had more to do with that), and a missed FG really hurt, (although that same kicker hit from 50 and 62, and 32, earlier), but this game probably took a bit off Dak’s demand.  This game created chaos in Dallas and started more than the usual rumors that Jason Garret was going to be fired.  Which he almost certainly should be.

The Cowboys then bounced back the next week with the next best thing to a bye week, playing another NFC East team.  You may recall from the season preview that I referred to the NFC East as a dumpster fire, and to date this season has done nothing to indicate I was wrong.  The Giants had to bench Eli Manning and while the new kid showed some early flashes the latest returns indicate that he needs more work and that the Giants, overall, remain very bad.  The Redacteds have already fired Gruden The Lesser and benched their own Week One QB in favoUr of a woefully unprepared Dwayne Haskins, with the result that Washington seems to have a good chance at choosing another QB with the first pick in next year’s draft.

That leaves the Philadelphia Eagles.  I’d thought they’d be more competitive this year but they seemed determine to be the most courteous visitors to Dallas since JFK doffed his hat, (with some help), back in ’63.  The Eagles fumbled away their first two possessions, resulting in a quick 14-0 Dallas lead that was never really in danger the rest of the way.  This game probably saved Garrett’s job, which isn’t necessarily a good thing, as if the Eagles had come in and beat Dallas I don’t think Garrett, at 3-4, survived the bye week.

Instead the Cowboys get through their first sets of games at 4-3.  They should probably be 5-2, as the Jets are simply not a team that Dallas should be losing to.  The offense has been inconsistent; sometimes they look unstoppable and sometimes, (Saints, Jets), they look like they just met in the parking lot before the game.  The offensive line is already dealing with injuries to both tackles and while they were back for Philadelphia, that’s probably not a good sign.  The defense, other than that extended nap in the first half against Green Bay, has been very good, keeping their opponents below 24 points in 6 games.  This offense should be able to put up 25 points against the vast majority of NFL defenses, so whatever issues Dallas is having, for once, are probably not due to the defense.

The Cowboys return next week against the Giants, which is as close as you’ll see to getting two straight bye weeks.  Then they move on to the Vikings, and that’s a game with some meaning.  Dallas, on paper, is the better team, but if they can’t be more consistent on offense, or take a half off on defense, the Vikings are good enough to make them pay for it.  It should be a good game and will tell us a lot about where Dallas is going the rest of the way.  If they win that game I think they’re 11-5 at the end of the season, well atop the NFC East, and maybe, just maybe, if they’re relatively healthy, and if they can remember that football games traditionally have two halves, they could make some noise in the play-offs and get to the Superb Owl.  If they lose I think it’s more likely that they’re destined to do nothing more than go 9-7, (still win the NFC East, however, because Jesus that’s an awful set of teams), and get absolutely shit on in their first play-off game.

For the record I’ll say 10-6, 1-1 in the play-offs, and Garrett moves on the the Ivy League head coaching position he’s so obviously well-qualified for.