[looks at late slate offerings] Oof! This slate is a bit of a skinny one, isn’t it? Ah, we’ll make the best of it regardless.
TO THE GAMES!
Cards/Niners:
What is going on with David Johnson? He’s run for all of 4 yards in the month of November and looked bad doing it. I heard Greg Cosell say on the radio that he seems to have gained weight and looks more like a tight end these days. He’s off the injury report but I can’t see him getting many touches in this ‘running back committee’ that has recently been announced. Does Kliff Notes just not like the guy? Is there some lingering injury issue that isn’t being made public? I’m sure something will come out at least by the end of the season but for now I think Drake is the way to go because San Franny can be run on.
Bengals/Raiders:
Poor Ryan Findley is up against it, what with trying to play behind this O-line that allows more ‘pressured’ plays than clean pocket ones. Things get a little better vs. a Raiders team that have let Rodgers, Watson and Stafford spank them into oblivion. Josh Jacobs makes defenders miss. And miss. And miss again. His 43 forced missed tackles is the highest ever seen over a ten week period since the stat first started being recorded.
Pats/Eagles:
Do you think that New England will put J.C. Jackson on Ertz, take him out of the game and force Wentz to go to the flubbers that are Nelson Oglethorpe and that Whiteside guy for yards downfield? I think so. Maybe the play here is Dallas Goedart if he gets some run at a wideout spot. Well, if rook rb Sanders wanted the spotlight he’s got it today. Hey, Jay Ajai and his reconstructed knees are back in town again! Philly fans are out looking for blood. Well, since that is their default position, perhaps I should be more specific.They want the Eagles medical staff’s blood because Howard has somehow come out of the bye week more injured than when he entered it.
Do your thing.
Please let Agholor catch the desperation TD
Or, Tony, you could just pop it out to the defense…
the old double Hail Mary drill
I’m beginning to question the value of a University of North Dakota education
Jesus, you can’t let that ball hit the ground.
Again
C’mon man, you can’t blame him for that one.
and Agholor is dead
Agholor drop, DRINK
And done.
The Circle of Agholor is complete!
His knee might be complete too. Completely wrecked.
Oh man, Wentz just sucks so much.
kick the FG!!
I could see wentz getting that camo sleeve tattooed on
He’s throwing like they did it at half-time
throw a pickerception, DFO ball matters MOAR
HOSHIT NINERS!
That SF fumble recovery gave me a defensive TD that may give me a FF win. Second week in a row that SF has done that for me.
As a Dallas fan I am conflicted.
Bungle for Burrow continues!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJhAyg2LTEk
BLOW FOR JOE
I like that moment when the ball flew over Kyler Murray’s head, and as he sorta goes to go get it, he looked back at the Olineman who did it and was like, “You serious, bro?”
OT looming in PHI?
Wentz will fuck this up.
Probably with a dumb-ass throw like that one.
They’ll go for 2
This is usually the time of night where I’m thinking “ah fuck, gotta go to work tomorrow” and start checking the schedule, only I took tomorrow off, so instead I’m gonna have some cake and then start drinking.
I’ve got too much going on at the orifice tomorrow to bow out, but I’m pretty sure I will be calling in sick this coming Friday.
Me too, but I’m currently sitting on 6 weeks of unused vacation time and it’s not like they’re going to pay me for it so fuck it, I’m taking it.
Yeah, I’ve got 80 hours I’ve got to use or lose by New Years.
Don’t be shy man, they’re not gonna give it your heirs.
I’ll use it all up after I have my foot surgery on 10 December.
Raiders just punted from the opponent’s 33-yard line.
Fucking touchback? Jesus H. Christ all it got them was 13 fucking yards. Should have at least taken a delay of game penalty to get backed up five yards.
Yep, those sound like Rikki’s Raiders.
Paging Jon Bois?
Homemade curly fries, dammit.
(Yeah, you heard me)
Derp then underp!
Here comes another fine offensive thrust from the Eagles.
Pffffffft.
And there it goes.
Pelvic thrust?
DUFF MAN AGREES OH YEAH
No, not the Time Warp. An Eagle Offensive Thrust.
Foles wouldn’t need to thrust just kinda leans in
Go for it you pussies!
Move over Dave Shula and the 1993 Bengals. You are no longer the only Bengals team to start 0-10 and lose 10 games in a row in a season.
Whomever they pick number one, that both of his Achilles will spontaneously combust walking out to shake Lord Ginger’s hand.
THEY CAN STILL COME BACK!
YOU GOTTA BELIEVE REDSHIRT!
Oops never mind.
Edelman’s gonna get popped every single time he gets the ball
That’s a shame.
WOO!
Dolphins ruined our season, our draft pick and my fantasy season by fucking sending drake to Arizona
Janeane Redeemed!!
why are they acting like Tomsulas should be thinking FG?
Edelman just broke a DB’s spine.
Stephen Miller was confused who to root for on that play.
The fellow Hebrew, obvs.
Double hammerlock is totally legit!
Fuck fuck fuck that looked bad
Auden Tate? Yup. At least he was able to move his feet.
Maddox got ahead of Edelman and had a pick and Edelman basically combined a horse collar tackle with a sleeper hold
Yeah. Ow.
forget about personal foul, they didm’t even call the blatant OPI
pretty dirty play
I’m not sure it was dirty, but if Edelman goes over the middle I’m not going to take issue with any Eagle that thought it was
Let Edelman pass it again.
Give up a 20 yard completion on 3rd and 19? THAT’S MY RAIDERS!
Kill our best WR? THAT’S YOUR RAIDERS!
WARMING UP IN THE CINCINNATI BULLPEN
14 – Dalton (R)
Cursed image. Ken Shamrock looking less and less human with age.
He’s melted into Sly Stallone.
Are you telling me that a lifetime of getting kicked in the head, combined with massive steroid abuse, isn’t good for you?
THere’s a pancrase fight between him and Bas Ruten where it’s like they put Bas up against one of the X-men. Even juiced to the gills, what he was doing looked impossible.
Bengals O-Line is trying to get Finley killed.
NC State did a good jerb preparing him for that
DO NOT BESMIRCH THE GOOD NAME OF FOO FIGHTERS ASSOCIATING THEM WITH TOM BRADY YOU PHILISTINES
he would nae be my first call for “Monkey Wrench”
Is there some reason why the 49ers-Cards announcers keep calling him Kevin Peterson? Did I miss something???
Agholor dropped a pass? Someone loan me some pearls to clutch.
If he’s so bad why do they keep him?
this, but with more sincerity
oh, Janeane…
this weekend has really been a good microcosm of my life
Time for McCourty pick 6.
Lol @ Carr celebrating faking his own offensive line offsides.
CIN, if you want to fuck up my bets, at least let Jacobs fucking score
This is the correct comment
am getting a drink. All thee late games are fun
What the fuck was that, McDaniel?