My Titans preview was an unhinged mash note to Marcus Mariota. I stand by it. Emotional stability is not a personal goal.

The good news are that Tennessee is 5-5, which ain’t insurmountable in the AFC playoff race, and Mariota enters Week 12 healthy. And rested AF.

[shakes head, lights cig]

It was Week 6 in Denver, Titans score zero in the 1st half. Ryan Tannehill starts the second half and he’s been running the offense ever since. From that moment, my weekly seethings about TEN took me to Seneca: “time discloses the truth” (which is irrefutable, unless you live under Daylight Savings Time). I watched the games. Tannnehill’s been an obvious improvement, despite the raw stats:

Via profootballreference.com

Tannehill has been great: a daring but accurate passer, and a tough runner. In Week 10, he bowled over a DB against the Chefs for a two-point conversion. One more thing: I’m skipping  the eating-my-words stuff because self-flagellation is Jesuit school / attention-whoring shit.

Instead, here’s yer Titans 2019 Whipping Boy: head coach Mike Vrabel. Vrabel thinks he’s congenial, but authoritative—Na-hah! Lame’Os only get to have ONE of those qualities. Last year, Tennessee was tops in the league with only 5.1 penalties per game. This year? A full two more per game (7.1; via teamrankings.com). I declare OVAH the new-coach leeway.

Vrabel wants to appear tough; turns out, he’s only hardheaded. Week 4 in Atlanta, 4th quarter. 4th and 1,  TEN at the ATL 12 yard line. Titans were up by 14, so a FG makes it a 17-point lead, with 13 minutes left in the game–it’s a thoroughly sound decision. But, my friends, that day the brain trust’s testosterone was bubblin’. TEN goes for it, Derrick Henry loses two yards.

At a press conference after the Week 6 butt whuppin’ at Denver (16-ZERO), Vrabel said leadership is not based on production, and pointed to RB Dion Lewis. Lewis is a fine blocker, but if football reasons were a factor, he’d get the same amount of touches as a leper in a Champagne Room. On Week 9, Lewis was the featured back in the first half turnovers-and-three-and-out-a-rama at Carolina. (And don’t give me the “That’s on the Offensive Coordinator” shit; Vrabel and Dion are ex-Pats—brothers in perfidy!) In the second half, TEN remembered it had DERRICK FREEKIN HENRY and he destroyed the Panthers D. Listen coach, you can’t outsmart opponents with dumb decisions. If you wanna best an opponent with unexpected tactics, you gotta establish first that you’re above stupid decisions. It’s a very low bar, and is yet to be reached.

The week before, against the Bucs,

-TEN was up 27-23
-It’s 4th and 2 at the Tampa 30
-3:45 left in the game.

Vrabel put the offense on the field, to draw the MRSAs offside. Didn’t work; time out. Field goal unit comes in, sigh, it’s a fake. The holder, Brett Kern (punter and ???SPOILER ALERT Team MVP???), takes the snap, rushes, and is moided by a LB at the line of scrimmage. (Kern survived.)

Coach: if you wanna implement “the element of surprise” into yer strategery, first establish youse can’t make THE stupidest decision. Or maybe just don’t waste a timeout. Christ.

Yeah, OK. I do wish Vrabel well, but I hear he favors dip. For your own good, Mike: switch to gum.

By contrast, Dean Pees is doing magnificently as Defensive Coordinator. Tough defensive stands at the end won Tennessee games against FC Chargers (Week 7) and the Bucs (Week 8). It’s a pretty stacked unit, too. The secondary is solid, and blitzes often. CB Logan Ryan was hitting QBs and having a legit All Pro season, until the Chefs game in Week 10. But CB Malcolm Butler, who was having a great year, is out for the season due to injury. He’s been missed. Safeties Byard and Vaccaro are yooge assets.

On the D-line, Da’Quan Jones has been beastly, and rookie first-rounder Jeffery Simmons started playing on Week 7. Simmons was rehabbing from a torn ACL and has made great plays, although the chatter is that he gets winded often. Also, Jurrell Casey was out the last two games with a shoulder injury, but should return on Week 12. Things are looking up, woo.

The linebackers may be the best unit of the defense. Second-year Rashaan Evans and Harold Landry are fast and vicious, Wesley Woodyard still makes game-saving plays, and 3rd-year Jayon Brown (still the best NFL player no one’s heard of), is the class of the lot. Brown has missed recent games with a groin injury, but should be back.

Per Titans tradition, the D may still concede the occasional first-possession TD, but can ably clamp down offenses. It helps A LOT that Brett Kern is magnificent.

Via FAUX

But it SUCKS that the Titans offense gives Kern so, many, opportunities, to hone his craft. The Titans O leads the NFL in negative plays. (Via memory of, two Sundays ago, screaming Wow, increíble, no lo puedo creeeEEEERRRR at the TV when they showed the stat). It’s been that way the whole season, regardless of QB, because bead curtains would be an improvement over the offensive line. It’s not a cliché, it’s truth. (Ever thought about sprinting through bead curtains? Huh? Yeah, didn’t think so.) By contrast, Tennessee’s OL is LAST in sacks allowed, the very bottom of a sorry, sorry cellar:

Via teamrankings.com

Free agent G Rodger Saffold has struggled (he admitted as much after the seemingly annual Ugly Loss to the FUCKING Bills). But Saffold pulling right is a pretty sight, ‘cause it’s likely  a nice rushing play’s in progress.

My favorite development of the NFL season is: Derrick Henry, unquestionable stud. I’m no Dr. Chao, but Henry must’ve had a CJ1.2k-ectomy in the preseason—the shuffling of feet behind the line of scrimmage is gone! Henry just finds a hole and tries to run through bodies. And if he gets to demolish a guy,

Via giphy.com

Love, LOVE El Tractorcito. Henry also has been going for stoicism instead of TD celebrations, which I don’t really wanna comment on, lest I rile my inner 80-year-old. But I’ll say this: the abundance of celebrations, especially the contrived ones, has made me lose interest in the frivolity. ??‍♂️

The Titan WRs don’t celebrate much because they gotta score first—but are quality players nonetheless. Rookie AJ Brown is legit; Tajae Sharpe makes a big catch every game and is a good mid-range threat. Adam Humphries is tough and sure handed, and Corey Davis [deferred for further study / brooding ?].

By my guesstimate, Titan receivers get around 20 targets per game, because TEN quarterbacks give mad love to the TEs. Speaking of whom, Jonnu Smith has better hands this year. And good news: Delanie Walker is coming back for the stretch run after injuring [the bad news] the same 34 year-old ankle that put him out for the year in 2018.

For the last six games, the offense has to improve. It’s probable; the playcalling can’t get worse. Titans fans burn in effigy rookie OC Adam Smith, rightly, but Smith is not dumb.*

* Assessment based on faith, not optimism.

TEN’s offense produces A LOT of three-and-outs, but many have been caused by two events: T Taylor Lewan’s 4-game PED suspension, and T Taylor Lewan’s play. Two games in a row, Lewan singlehandedly killed one drive with back-to-back penalties. Some  involved shithousing which, for Lewan’s reputation, is an apt digestif to the suspension. Lewan does confront his failings and expressly owns up to—you know what? I don’t wanna hear it. Just skip to the “Action” part of accountability, dammit. Shame on me for being unreasonably high on Lewan. A lot.

In sum, the spoils of Titan fandom have been: Derrick Henry, the defense, and…

Via Reddit u/TerpsMakeMeDrink

…crisp punting. That’s it, those three things. Hell, even the kicking’s been off! In his career, K Ryan Succop has been automatic from 40 yards or less. But he got injured before Week 1, and TEN had to employ Cairos and Parkeys, with the expected results.

[Related: count me as LOVING the 33-yard XP and the (IMHO) generalized yips it has wrought on NFL kickers. And scorigamies! And going for 2 out of “Pft. Why not!”]

Succop came back weeks ago, and he, too, has been drinking from the Well of Shan’klor. (Yes, I favor the Vulgate spelling.) For the Titans aspirations this year, an unreliable kicker might be the last nail on the coffin, as necrophiles say.

Resignation aside, there is comfort in possibility. First, the Titans exit the Week 11 bye only one game off the division lead.

Via Reddit u/WileECoyoteGenius

Second, TEN gets a chance to succeed without outside help, with four division games left (two against Houston in Weeks 15 & 17). TEN plays the Raiders too, who are jockeying for a Wildcard. Then comes the dreaming: a visit from the Saints in Week 16. Listen: if TEN goes 3-1 and ALSO beat the Saints, TEN earned a playoff trip. Or at least the Week 17 flex of TEN@HOU that will make everybody groan, except AFC South fans and other nihilists.

Meanwhile, Marcus Mariota is all but done in Tennessee. Gotta say: it feels like a kick to my soul’s groin. I do regret, in my preview, pulling the “Philistine” card on all who didn’t think Mariota was Virtue and Grit personified. I blame my weakness for putting trite crap in post titles, and really did not mean to insult. Rest assured, dear reader, that my respect for you is infinite *cough ESIMAL *cough.

Mariota’s been exemplary in many ways, but his play dropped off, and very noticeably. When good, Mariota is thrilling and unique. When bad,  Mariota holds onto the ball forever, misses short throws, and gets into sacks: the opposite of the red zone savant he was between 2016-17. Maybe the nerve injury last year changed him, I dunno. Nor do I think that we’ll ever know for sure what happened, because Marcus is as discreet as they come.

Not me, though. Get bent Vrabel! ??

Banner pic by Wesley Hitt / Getty Images (via titansized.com)