Just don’t tell me your league has their final on week 17 because that’s plain silly.
TO THE GAMES!
Pats/Cincy:
As per the usual, New England has pattycakes on their sked down the stretch. (we can pretend that the Bills will give them a tussle in Patsland but, no) This will be the 10th straight year that they get a bye thru the first round of the playoffs.
Bucs/Lions:
There have been 9 wr’s that are ranked in the top 25 in fantasy that have played the Lions. As a group they average 25 points in those games. So yeah, Golloday. On tudder side Jameis is good to go vs. a Lions D that has given up a minimum of 2 passing scores in every single game this year.
Bears/Packers:
Green Bay gives up all kinds of scores to rb’s so that’s good news to David Montgomery who has been given every oppo but just. can’t. get. it. going. Poor Chicago fans-Truth Biscuit has turned things around just enough so that the front office won’t go looking for another qb in the offseason. And that means at least one more year of below average play at the qb spot while the team has a dominant D. Suckers.
Potato Skins/Eagles:
Rook McLaurin has the highest target share of any wr corps in the NFL. Sure it’s the league’s lousiest but he should do well vs. a Philly secondary that is looking almost as bad as the Bucs.
Fins/Giants:
Who cares? Actually, I do because I’m chasing last week’s Darius Slayton points. Fifth place in one (not anymore) money league will be mine!
Broncs/Chiefs:
I guess it was during the bye week that it was decided that Lindsay should get the loaf of bread. Since then he’s out-touched Freeman 72-32. You wouldn’t characterize the Chiefs D as ‘good’ but they defend the outside receivers better than anyone else in the league. Still, if you’ve got Sutton you have to play him, right?
Texans/Titans:
There were worries that rb Henry wouldn’t be able to go after he missed practices midweek but it turns out that the Titans are flirting with this ‘load management’ thingy that’s all the rage in NBAland. And who deserves a break more than Henry?
Seahawks/Panthers:
With Penny out this week, Carson can fumble to his heart’s content and not worry about being pulled. Who does he think he is, Daniel Jones? Btw, the Panthers run D is giving up an average of 5.34 yards per rush. As Bill The Cat would say, “GAK!”.
Good luck to you if you’ve made the semis. I’ve got a semi for you.
Holiday Party has been successfully navigated. Only saw 3 issues that will have the office gossip going. I swear HR puts on these parties for job security.
One of the senior sales reps (who i swear was a lesbian) was playing ass grab with a junior customer service rep.
I am very hyped for a 6-10 Slurs team under Meyer giving people hope followed immediately by 4-12 and a resignation
Morning Folks
Morning!
Mourning!
JV Wood Bengals derped quite nicely.
https://www.cbssports.com/college-basketball/news/watch-cincinnati-turns-baffling-halfcourt-heave-into-stunning-loss-at-home-to-colgate/
God as my witness, I thought a turkey could fly
LOL
Some Galaxy Brain shit…
I’m sorry, but I’ve got the ultimate proof why it’s not a -gate…
If he’d gone out with the excuse of “Record… The Bungles?! You realize they’re the Bungles,right? A team that is so shitty, the Browns kept on tripping on their own prolapsed cunts and they still stumbled ass-backwards into winning against them…” , then I’d have agreed that something was afoot, BUT no.
He just did the normal “They’re a formidable opponent with great players”-routine as always, ergo – PATS BY A BILLION 😀 (or a 2-0 after a first quarter safety)
Jamin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMU2NwaaXEA
I’ve spent 90% of my Disney+ viewing on trailers for 90’s Disney and Marvel cartoon openings
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y63i2NR9-LE
What…the…fuck…am…I…watching…on…FOX?
If it isn’t someone in a red hat saying something nice about a minority group without the phrase “the blacks” then I’m not going to be surprised.
So, the P*ts
Footy has never made me feel so old as today with Manures kids and now the prepubescent sub for the Gunners
SOKRATIS MENTION!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfduUFF_i1A
/obligatory
penno to SPAL!!!
/VAR checking it because FML
stands, 1-nil HT lead and HAIL GAMBLOR!!!!
“Promising start here to the second half by the Gunners…”
In that we’re nearly nine minutes in and they haven’t given up 2 more goals, yes, yes it is.
Looks like Chefs-Horsies will be slightly Hoth-like today.
Bought Mrs. Cola an AJ Green jersey but in true Bengals fashion it came waaay too small.
almost enough to get me to a sports bar, but me head is killing me
No satellite dish on your underground bunker?
nae, am the last weirdo cable subscriber
/RedZone will do
Just pirate the streams like a normal person, jeeeez…..
There exists a scenario where the Eagles can lose to Dallas next week and still win the NFC East, and that’s the level of chaos I’m rooting for right now
or you can root for the Clapper snapping and truck-bombing his last game 😀
YOU FIRE ME?! YOU FIRE ME?! WELL, I ATOMIZE YOU! MWAHA*clap*clap*clap*BOOM*
Garrett has made $30 million over the last 6 years being continuously employed in a job that he clearly isn’t qualified for. He isn’t truck bombing anything; he’s clapping his hands over his money pool and cackling like a loon.
Well, Dallas is going to screw up that hope, because there’s no way that flaming train of animal waste is going to beat Philly in Philly. Or LA today. Or possibly win again before next September.
I support this plan, as Dallas has a Point Differential of +67 and Philly is -4.
More songs about photo bugs. Original thread too far down for me to hunt.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XedDyR0opow
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGuPfCD9kdk
The race for the 1st Overall Pick just became red hot as the 2nd place prize has left the building.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/ncaafb/chase-young-plans-to-return-to-ohio-state-not-enter-2020-nfl-draft/ar-AAK8GY7?ocid=spartanntp
Joe Burrow is gonna move to Nashville and open a recording studio if he gets drafted by any Ohio team.
http://www.clashmusic.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_feature/public/legacy/files/jack_white_11.jpg?itok=ZIdgzw5h
This is gonna go over the opposite of gangbusters at a certain Giants fan site I visit.
This also screws over Cincinnati. If Cincy falls to #2, now the NY Giants can trade the #1 to another QB-needy team for a King’s ransom, leaving Cincy empty handed.
Poor Redshirt. Poor, poor Redshirt, thinking any amount and/or type of draft pick could do anything for the Bungles.
Its my delusion and I’ll deluse if I want to!
How can the Chiefs screw up getting to the game twice in two weeks?
https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nfl/sammy-watkins-lesean-mccoy-among-chiefs-players-who-are-late-arriving-at-arrowhead-update-they-made-it/ar-AAK98EO?ocid=spartanntp
It snows there regularily, so how many people live there to fuck up traffic?
Just watched the first half of Arsenal’s “game” and am seriously questioning what reason there is to watch the second half. I’ve seen better defense than that from the French in 1940.
Also the kids finally got up so I think we’re off to get a Xmas tree.
This year I think we’ll go with a nice elm.
The 1st paragraph sounds like you are a Mighty Whitey fan.
Because of you I root for them to not get relegated from whatever lesser division they currently occupy.
We are dire. In a playoff spot but Scott Parker may be fired. His tactics are deplorable.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnijc9wNpV4
Apparently, I posted this 6 years ago, and it’s very funny to me now.
Eli was 18/31 for 156 and 5 INTs against Seattle, but would win the last 2 games of the season to prolong the pain.
How many babies would Steve Smith punch to get out of western Mizzou?
Fuck it, time of death – ~DeBOOM’s second goal… I’m switching to watch Phil “JEEEEEEEEEM? ” Simms and the gang in studio…
You really are a masochist, eh?
/speaking of, does the wife agree that 1-1 was a fair result today, or does she have that typical condescending attitude all United supporters ‘ave to Everton? 😀
Edit; Ah, I misunderstood what she meant- MANURE had to score twice for Everton to hope for a bloody Draw…
She is right. Me thinks could have been 2-2 Manures kids played the last 20 tough.
eh, DCL out-worked De Gea to create that OG, and United’s goal was kind of fluky. FAIR FOOKIN RESULT.
My turn-
Drake, Slayton or A.J. Brown?
SLAYER bruh
AJ brown
Jesus that’s tough. Brown has the highest ceiling with Henry balky(?), Drake has the safest floor, since it SEEMS like he has total control of teh AZ backfield, but Slayton has MIA at home and is the apple of eli’s eye. I’d go Brown since Fuller V is back for HOU and TEN might be playing from behind.
Since we’re all openly flouting the “nobody cares about your fantasy team” maxim, my playoff matchup is currently projected to be within .05 points. Darnold and Bell already went so I’ll be puckered most of the day.
Darnold is on a fantasy team?
2 QB league. Also he’s been very good lately as long as you don’t need him to win IRL
BroomGASM in Northern Ontario??
He damn good.
2 of Slayton (wind), Gallup (Dak! injury, though he will play), Sutton (snow)? Leaning Gallup in both leagues, spilitting the Slayton/Sutton baby.
Gallup all day if we’re sure Ramsey will shadow Amari. Does Lock have snow game experience? Not sure where he played colleged ball.
Mizzou…so maybe? I am just wary to bench Sutton completely and have it fuck me. I did go BloodSugarFitzMagic over Lock.
Feel goodlier story: Raheem Mustard or Devante Parker?
Parker having a great season with that shitpile is impressive.
Raheem Mustard in the conservatory with the candlestick.
They’re both gonna score but Mustard will get more touches and maybe a second score.
Oh I meant season story. Parker was as good as labeled a bust, and Mustard slugged it out on special teams for years, and came out on top of a committee which formed the most violently efficient running game in the league. Also, the Will Lutz story just keeps getting better. I think he’s second only to J. Tucker, who is the reason Lutz isn’t a Raven today.
Ahhh.
rolling with both, just hope parker doesnt retrigger protocol
“In a word: Cold”
Also, fuck are you doing, Donks guy?
He’s high and/or on mushrooms
The Broom with the gorgeous assist.
Yah, ’twas a beauty … also just for a clarification – there’s no mercy rule in football (as part of the latest rule updates), right? … It’s a matter of booze choice, lol 😀
Oh Arsenal. Terrible at the back.
SHAMBOLIC!!!
lol Steve Smith’s face when they cut to him just getting buried in snow. This is not the retirement he was looking for.
Non ppr Ekeler v Laird…
Oof. Has anyone watched Laird play?
I have Jacobs and MCCaf but this is my flex.
I am not risking Jacobs. Playing Laird over him. He could get 2 carries.
EKELER, emphatically. PPR is all that saves Laird, Ekeler can score every time he touches the ball.
I need Ekeler to score 30 again, so prob bench him
I have a visceral hatred for the Mahomes diamond commercial
Just got to the pub and already 1 nil
The Broom for Scotchy!
Have to wait 20 mins for a beer because I live in a nanny province.
Canadia Jeebus!
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Heh… our suckage… is second to none 😀 0-1 Kevin DaBOOM
Gooners React Reasonably
PLEASE let us have Ancelotti
Meh, I’m resigned my self to the headline stating that somehow and some way Hue “3-36 in CLE” Jackson made the jump to proper footy coachin’ … and he’s our new guy XD
I’d pay to see that, him or Marvin Lewis
Thoughts on Patrick Laird?
Put another way: Patrick Laird, Devonta Freeperson, Lats Murray, Zach Pascal, Deebo
Pick 2 for FLEX
Also, anyone touching Lockett with a 10 foot pole today?
Deebo! for sure. I am rolling with Laird in DFO-ball because I don’t trust what OAK s gonna do (if Jacobs was scratched, I’d play TheAndre Washington over Laird, though)
Would you prefer Zach Pascal if Hilton doesn’t go?
to Deebo, no. To Laird…possibly. Flip a coin.
Pascal fucked me earlier in the season, so I may be biased!
Me too. He had a weird 3 week swoon weeks 10-12. He’s been solid the last 2, but when your floor is zero….
Yup. That’s where I’m at.
It’s Laird.
Lamar! is younger than Joe Burrows? I did not know that.
Fantasy Football Question:
Should I start WR A.J. Brown (vs. Houston) or Tyler Lockett (vs. Carolina)?
Holy cats that’s a tough one. Wilson has really latched on to Metcalf since Tyler came back from injury though. A.J. by a flip of the coin?
Lockett hasn’t done shit since the injury. Benched him since week 10
If Paul Brown Stadium isn’t playing this every time the Patriots take the field or make the play, then what are we doing here?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHo43B6nu60
or this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kVY3EWg8fI
Was expecting The Police
Low hanging fruit? Sure.. but fuck it, if I can’t horribly murder you and stage it to look as a string of grizzly industrial/home accidents for disrespecting Mah Pahts, then I might as well join you 😀
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMOGaugKpzs
Here, let another P*ts fan pile on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZTInlXMHl4
I feel a more direct approach is warranted:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jg2oR91_r5I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IH65hmao9CQ
Got a Mostert vs deedee Westbrook Dilemma I like Mostert but the coach did come out saying he had no choice but to play him as lead back this Wednesday which means instead he’ll morph into David Johnson and get 5 carries 7 yds
I’d take the chance with Mustard because young Shanahan seems to ride the hot hand, Breida doesn’t get goal line carries and Coleman is an afterthought at the moment. There should be plenty of carries available vs. the Falcons.
Yeah thats the way im rolling now with DEEEEDEEEEE coming of a injury and chance he gets double covered whole time with Chark out.
Afternoon ya loons… How’re you this fine (checks liquor cabinet) single malt day?
Well, been up since 430 as Decilitre deemed it wakeup time. Considering going to the pub for City Gunners if only to have 2 hours without a 2 year old.
I’m considering getting drunk for that game too, but that’s because of Arsenal.
I’m already drankin’ ’cause of that game 😀 It also doesn’t help that my wife’s cheerfully reminding me how much we suck against “inferior” (as if anyone’s inferior to this squad) opponents, so against a good team XD
Gotta admire the balls on any ManUre fan shit-talking another team this season.
She’s hawt, the mother of my children and extra hawt when she laughs maniacally in my face 😀 … also, we’re palming off the kids to the in-laws next door for tonight ,lol
I’m in a league with playoffs in week 17. Each playoff round is 2 weeks(aggregate of the weeks) It’s also 10 people, ppr and idp with a stupid deep bench. Scores of 200+ are not uncommon. Yes it’s stupid
What I like about my 2 leagues (21 years and counting) is that we’ve gotten rid of defenses, kickers and D guys. We’ve tried everything over the years and as a group decided that points derived from those variables are so often bullshit that it detracts from the contests. Perhaps it’s changed but we found with kickers especially there were only about 5 or so that consistently delivered x amount of points each year and the rest of them were like playing scratch-off tickets.
Sounds a like the League of Extraordinary Sillsanity from a few years ago. Points for 1st downs? Yup. Negative points for missed FGs? Yup.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hw0cR8euig0
That was a lot of work for a single joke.
She is sexy though.
Growing up poor, yeah, I’ve done this IRL
I’m currently in a 31 point hole (he had Lamar Jackson) and I’m forecast to lose by almost fifty points. I do not belong in this semifinal.
So apparently Marcus Peters got fined for drinking a beer with fans after his game-sealing interception.
“It was a Bud Light Lime? You’re on your own here, Peters.”
-NFLPA, upon hearing the news
“I’ll stand by ye.” – Gronk
So you film your upcoming opponent: “We have to do a full investigation and let the process play out.”
But you celebrate with your fans: “Bring out the gallows!”
No Fun League
HIPPOOOOOOOOOO GOLLLLLLLLL
De Gea hurt his hammy. Hipp haz chance?
Devante Parker is cleared to play and PFF shows that he has a monstrous advantage over cb Sam Beal.
This week has been a patchwork job for me. Juju, Chark, Penny out. One more win and I am in the money. Starting Garapopopopolo ove A-Aron. Picked up Slayton and the white rb from Miami…. Dire.
Team Laird! The last donut in the box.
Ummm Hippo, your starting formation is, interesting?
You missed a bananacakes game in Italy… but enough about my bet failing when the team WAS UP 3-0.
Let’s get to the Wakezilla Hippo derby.
Apologies for the delay. Doing nothing got in the way.