Just don’t tell me your league has their final on week 17 because that’s plain silly.
TO THE GAMES!
Pats/Cincy:
As per the usual, New England has pattycakes on their sked down the stretch. (we can pretend that the Bills will give them a tussle in Patsland but, no) This will be the 10th straight year that they get a bye thru the first round of the playoffs.
Bucs/Lions:
There have been 9 wr’s that are ranked in the top 25 in fantasy that have played the Lions. As a group they average 25 points in those games. So yeah, Golloday. On tudder side Jameis is good to go vs. a Lions D that has given up a minimum of 2 passing scores in every single game this year.
Bears/Packers:
Green Bay gives up all kinds of scores to rb’s so that’s good news to David Montgomery who has been given every oppo but just. can’t. get. it. going. Poor Chicago fans-Truth Biscuit has turned things around just enough so that the front office won’t go looking for another qb in the offseason. And that means at least one more year of below average play at the qb spot while the team has a dominant D. Suckers.
Potato Skins/Eagles:
Rook McLaurin has the highest target share of any wr corps in the NFL. Sure it’s the league’s lousiest but he should do well vs. a Philly secondary that is looking almost as bad as the Bucs.
Fins/Giants:
Who cares? Actually, I do because I’m chasing last week’s Darius Slayton points. Fifth place in one (not anymore) money league will be mine!
Broncs/Chiefs:
I guess it was during the bye week that it was decided that Lindsay should get the loaf of bread. Since then he’s out-touched Freeman 72-32. You wouldn’t characterize the Chiefs D as ‘good’ but they defend the outside receivers better than anyone else in the league. Still, if you’ve got Sutton you have to play him, right?
Texans/Titans:
There were worries that rb Henry wouldn’t be able to go after he missed practices midweek but it turns out that the Titans are flirting with this ‘load management’ thingy that’s all the rage in NBAland. And who deserves a break more than Henry?
Seahawks/Panthers:
With Penny out this week, Carson can fumble to his heart’s content and not worry about being pulled. Who does he think he is, Daniel Jones? Btw, the Panthers run D is giving up an average of 5.34 yards per rush. As Bill The Cat would say, “GAK!”.
Good luck to you if you’ve made the semis. I’ve got a semi for you.
Please one last Eli safety for the Manning face
Andy Reid always wanted to taste Tauntaun
Tonton would hollow Reid out for warmth
And I thought he smelled bad from the outside
Please one last Eli sacet
Here forth I propose we ditch the Bungles and they be named WKRP.
Oh, thank God. We didn’t get the first down.
Zac Taylor’s exceptionally bad play calling trumps Bengals competence any day of the week!
GOLLDARNTATEDOWN, btw.
The Eagles absolutely annihilated Washington to start the year. Now, they’re made up of 80% of Washington’s practice squad.
Whip that Eagle Ass Peterson.. AD!
Eagles win or fantasy win. There definitely won’t be both.
Oh, dear God. Why does it have to be our day?!
Mrs. Cola is expecting the collapse.
If this lasts into the 2nd half or if the Giants don’t start scoring some points, I may have to try to convince Dalton to treat this like a playoff game.
And jinx them?
Tittyboy running for his life.
I wonder how much we can really learn about Drew Lock’s development today, considering the weather conditions
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lc5vDa36CAw
Little Sebastian?
Actually, it’s Redshirt.
NO! dont rob the fatman TD. Merc earned that TD
oh tits
oh fish
Oh Mylanta
Oh say can you see…
Josh Gordon never ceases to amaze
FEELGOODDOWN starring DeVante Parker.
Oh, good. The Giants are losing. This is lovely.
“Another very impressive drive, filled with penalties on both sides.”
Words have meanings, people.
The Eagles’ “Yellow Flag” offense is rather effective
Helmet to the ass is still leading with the helmet, and that’s what I’ll be referring to anal as from now on
Shouldn’t that be a PhillySanchez?
Prom Night After-Party
Derrick Henry is officially “Gimpy”. Less burst than week-old Skittles, tough like a month-old Starburst.
Fitz with 13 yard gain straight up the middle.
Wentz on the TB13 program with that bad roughing call
I have Scary Terry on my bench this week. What a fool I am.
He scored? [begins long maniacal laugh]
Eagles claws are good at picking at trash but not catching footballs
Another ad for the Kennedy Center Honors. I wonder who wins at marksmanship.
The CIA
Apparently a dying LBJ said he thought the Cubans got him. Which in no way clears the CIA!
Back. And to teh left!!
/also I wonder if anyone ever played Talking Heads “Take Me To the River” for Teddy?
Vince Mancini once noted in his review of the movie about it that there’s a hypothesis that makes more sense of the situation if he had just lent her his car and she was driving herself in an unfamiliar car on an unfamiliar island. But that would be just as scandalous at the time. But this is funnier.
black and to the left
I’ll take Paul Robeson for $600, Alex
Rapey Jameis has 2 bills in Q1. Flus his usual fucktarded pickerception.
https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/footage-of-patriots-filming-bengals-released-shows-tense-press-box-confrontation-between-the-two-sides/
Congratulations on the Bengals Punt Defense team for being named Patriots Advanced Scouts.
Lockett has 54 yards already but Metcalf gets the 6 spot.
IMPROBABLE TEAM WKRP LEAD
I’m enjoying the Hell out of how the P*ts are just imploding like a black hole.
is all that can still get me hard, honestly
AWWWHHSSS IS A WHITE HOLE. NO DAHKIES HEAAHH
Ertz, he die
Clean hit.
really love how much Iggle and Non-Gendered Cowperson sort hate one another so deeply
He ain’t lyin
Robots cleaning my dishes, cleaning my floors, and cleaning my clothes, yet here I am wiping my ass like a sucker.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LC5Dr9lV6ro
Do they give happy poopy time?
/On phone
https://youtu.be/Sq72B2tSc3U
Time to invest in a bidet. I know I should.
Giants run-stopping lb Ogletree gets juked out by…37 year old Fitzmagic.
GO BEATIE GO!!
Former OSU RB throws TD on Eagles
Imagine if the WKRP crew pulled this one out…
As God is my witness, I thought Bengals could fly…
Succop 8-18 on field goals? That’s gonna be a problem if they make the playoffs.
Uh, CBS. When showing footage of the only bridge in the area with a metal grate surface that creates a distinctive sound when driving over, maybe show audio of the footage?
Eagles have exactly one offensive threat and Washington going to do nothing to hinder that
I saw they still had a LB on Ertz. Fucking insane.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen the Giants put a corner on a te. This explains a few things.
hey mitch titties
throw it to allen robinson dude….
New England Assistant Defensive Coach Tony “Duke” Evers: “They don’t know its a damn show, they thinks its a damn fight! Finish these bums and lets go home.”
Will any Eagle not named Ertz or Sanders get a catch this week?
I can see a football getting lodged in a face mask. That would count as a catch.
Early Doink! action in Carolina.
Can’t believe I can’t get the Giants game on regular tv. I always get the Giants game. Okay, I understand why they’re not playing the Giants game.
’cause such a travesty of epic proportions must be relegated to premium cable or a post-watershed slot?
Back when I used to stream everything due to not being willing to pay for it, I always enjoyed anything that started with post-watershed production notices, because it was like a separate mystery to work on
People watching for shits and giggles have feelings too, ya know.
Patriots don’t seem extra pissed at Cincinnati. Doesn’t matter because Cincy’s defense can’t stop shit.
this here Bungles’ D, I call it expired Imodium…
Anyone else having issues for ESPN FFL website?
TD – New England.. .And all you raycess fahks happy? a white RB did it 😀
Just imagining a stadium full of Pats fans doing the Kuhn chant
An impressively dramatic pick
Dude that was a sweeeeet jump
KITCARSONDOWN!!!!
LOL
does denver have a shot at winning this?
Where there’s a will, there’s a nay
Don’t even think of being injured, Carson!