Your “Can They Actually Do It?” Saturday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

I did everything right. I was smart about it. I had Cookie Monster as a starter and grabbed the handcuff Mattison in case things went awry. So both go down  and I put in a waiver claim for Boone but my opponent in the final had priority and he got him. Damn it! (It’s probably karmic payback for me grabbing Kenyan Drake when I never planned to play him because I noticed that the fella that had David Johnson needed him badly) So the waiver wire left me with “Come Mr. Perriman, Tally Me Bananas” and he pairs up with Jameis, McLaurin, Hill, Singletary, Henry, Hooper and McCaffrey. And I can’t even watch the games because stupid obligations. Everything sucks balls.

TO THE GAME!

Bills/Pats:

The first time around in Buffalo it was a one score loss courtesy of qb Allen’s three intercepts. All the talk was about the way New England’s D was destroying all the patsies they were skedded against. What was ignored and has become increasingly obvious is that the O is critically flawed. I’ll call it here-the Pats will lose before their supposed visit to Baltimore in the AFC title game. Brady’s increasingly noodle-ly appendage means that receivers must be in the exact spot where the play requires them to be otherwise the play is dead. And those receivers just can’t get separation and there’s not a home run hitter in the bunch. Look for New England to get sneaky with their blitzing in order to confuse the youngster Allen. (He’s the 6th ranked qb in fantasy, btw-who’da thunk that?) Singletary wasn’t around last time and could make the difference-we shall see.

Have at it, squirrels and boys!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
158 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Brocky

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s never gonna fit in his ear.

Unsurprised

Animals don’t act out of caprice. I’m just curious what it plans to use it for.

herodotus450

When Jonas Gray, James White, and Legarret Blount fumbled they all got benched and cut. Rex Burkhead fumbles and nothing happens, why is he treated differently? …because he’s essential in the passing game too, unlike those guys. Why, what reason were you thinking of?

Sharkbait

South Boston doesn’t see anything wrong with this

herodotus450

Thinner talent pool: nfl quarteredbacks or nfl broadcasting teams?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes?

herodotus450

Kurt Warner looking like he bought his sweater at a grocery store.

Horatio Cornblower

Just finished my Xmas shopping and among the gifts I got for my kids were gift certificates to a tattoo parlor for both of them, and a bottle of gin for my son, just in case you were wondering how the movie ‘Horatio Cornblower: Parent’ ended.

Go Bills

theeWeeBabySeamus

What did you buy foar me?

herodotus450

A tramp stamp that says “Thank you daddy” isn’t going to have the effect that you want.

Unsurprised

So everyone already gets the family discount on admission to the strip club?

Mr. Ayo

Was the gin in a plastic bottle?

Don T

Does the paper bag double as wrapping paper?

theeWeeBabySeamus

So when the Ravens not only don’t cover the spread on Sunday (-10 road favs), but also upchuck in Cleveland and drop the game straight up? How angry should I be?

Gratliff

Imagine voluntarily being a Mets fan
https://twitter.com/Mets/status/1208102374197338113

Unsurprised

That’s wilder than any dril tweet

Senor Weaselo

What. The fuck.

herodotus450

Pats mad about an unusual formation?

King Hippo

NAWT FAYUH, they didn’t practice that on OW-AH film!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehehe

Gratliff

Wasn’t on the scouting tape. Very uncouth.

King Hippo

give Brokeback credit, he made a patient, catchable pass to the fatty

Sharkbait

Laaaaaaaame

Downfield Matriculator

Tackle eligible, baby!

Petronel

FATGUYDOWN

Spur

Fatman TD!

Mr. Ayo

FATDOWN!!!

Gratliff

FAT MAN TUDDY

Unsurprised

New neighbors have a yipping dog. I may have to kill someone.

King Hippo

then the dog will have ALL THE FRESH MEAT and will quit yipping

Unsurprised

The dog will become meat.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nawt teh dog’s fault. Kill the neighbors, adopt and train the dog.

Brocky

One of the first things me and my dad did when we inherited my grandma’s shih tzus was quell that behavior real quick. It’s the owner not the dog.

Sharkbait

Unsubscribe.

King Hippo

CHANGE, SUDDEN

Gratliff

Holly shit Bills done an actual thing

King Hippo

BUF just should have let it run into the half.

King Hippo

ahem…

Mr. Ayo

NOT SO FAST!!!

King Hippo

some great LB play

King Hippo

CLEARLY, Liberty’s punter must be some kind of apostate.

King Hippo

goddamn Bills having to be themselves today

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Jingle Balls.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Sharkbait

TAWMY throwing blocks

Petronel

And he looked so proud of himself afterward

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

that MAGA spirit ,, amirite??

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Then there is a whole genre of Christmas horror.

comment image

Sharkbait

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Frost_(1997_film)

Shannon Elizabeth clearly needed the paycheck to be in this movie.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

“A Christmas Lapdance.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Christmas elf gang-bang.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“The twelve cocks of Christmas.”

King Hippo

#TooManyCocks

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“A Nicole Aniston Christmas.”

King Hippo

Moose be bringin’ it

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So “A Very Merry Anal Only Christmas.”

BC Dick

Stuffing santa’s sack down the chimney

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Busty elf santa porn.”

Mr. Ayo

Well now I’m just curious. BRB.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“An anal Christmas.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Brett Rossi gives her ass for Christmas.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Christmas tentacle porn.”

King Hippo

there’s the Balls Bat Signal

yeah right

After some confusion on the date, I’m sitting in the theater for The Nutcracker. Let the hallucinations begin!

AND they spelled middle granddaughters name wrong in the program. Bastards.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Christmas gape porn.”

Sharkbait

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Don T

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Okay, just a brief look and Balls’ ‘Santa porn’ search might have to be narrowed down a bit.

comment image

Sharkbait

Fuck you Rex.

Col. Duke LaCross

Eat shit Gritback!

Gratliff

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

CIRCLE THEM WAGONS

Mr. Ayo

And that’s the last we’ll see of Burkhead

herodotus450

A very grumbly voice mail was just left for a mister S. Naut.

herodotus450

(Kurt Warner walks into the booth)
Tirico, trying to act calm: “So uh, did your wife come with you?”

Mr. Ayo

Well, I finished first. But I stuck around until she did too.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I can’t stop snickering about Tirico bangin’ Warner’s wife.

herodotus450

Is Tirico drunk or is it correct that Belichick has been a head coach for 45 years?

Mr. Ayo

He started coaching in 1975 so I vote drunk.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Milf head.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*Not in the serial killer way.

Sharkbait

I’m drinking heavily in preparation for this game…

Mr. Ayo

That’s definitely why I’ve been drinking since I woke up.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m sure Balls has already done it, but we should see the results of “Santa porn” and “Elf Porn.”

comment image

King Hippo

Especially if Santa is the top ,, amirite??

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

rockingdog

LOLcomment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

rockingdog

Last Fantasy Football question:
Should I start at WR Allen Robinson (vs. KC Chiefs) or Tyler Lockett (vs. ARI Cardinals)?

Mr. Ayo

Lockett

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OH, THAT’S JUST FUCKING GREAT.

comment image