Did you like the earlier offerings? They tried their very best ya know. Well, except for those that didn’t. Some just don’t have the talent to compete, ya know.
TO THE GAMES!
Lions/Broncos:
Detroit seems to have given up the ghost or maybe just David Blough. Remember that first half of the Thanksgiving game? Blough’s mom will-forever. Oh honey, you were so special! Here’s an extra slice of chocolate cake. [Blough throws paper birthday hat to the floor] Goddamn it, maw! I’m forty-seven years old! Oh no son, you’re forty-seven years young. /Fin I’m guessing Denver in a semi-romp.
Raiders/Chargers:
If you lived life on a hedge or were just a damn fool you’d throw Rivers into your lineup (I know!), your justification being that the Raiders give up the 3rd most fantasy points to wideouts. But you’re not a fool and that 5th place finish means everything to you.
Cowboys/Eagles:
Can I have a Philly win here so that Gratliff can have a boner and also because chaos? I do love to see two under-performing teams bring the NFC East to new lows and Dallas not being able to separate itself from the detritus of the rest of the division despite having a stranglehold on ‘best talent’. Congrats if you have Ertz-the coaching staff took a mere 11 weeks to figure out that the wr corps was garbage fire plus. Amari owners should pray that he’ll be covered by Jalen Mills who has given up an *average* of 20 yards per reception the last 4 weeks.
Cards/Seahawks:
Just put Arizona to bed by throwing to any and all tight ends. Across the season they average more than one TD given up per game to that spot.
Go Comments Go! YAY!!! [jumps up and down]
FUCK YOU DALLAS.
Signature lose.
Checking back in, the fuck is Seattle doing?
Pissing down their leg
Getting Discount Double-Checked by discount Aaron Rodgers.
fucking up their timeout usage
https://twitter.com/RussoMichael15/status/955477857110773761
please let this be the end of Garrett
Naw. Garrett should be the anchor around the Cowboys’ neck as long as Jerry or his descendants own the Cowboys. Even if that means skeletor Garrett is still throwing away the game by putting in the robo-kicker for 145-yard field goals when down by a mega-touchdown in the 5th quarter in 2194.
Doesn’t matter. As long as JJ thinks he’s a competent GM nothing’s going to change.
Miles Sanders both won and lost some FF matchups there.
EAGLEA
“A signature win for Carson Wentz…”
I mean, no, it’s a signature loss for Dallas; Wentz didn’t do anything other than just not fuck up and Dallas took it from there.
I still can’t believe that the 4th and 8 call was a deep throw to the corner of the end zone from a QB with a bad shoulder to the receiver who just dropped a ball that was in his hands.
This is me every week this season
Mmm, yes, indeed. The element of surprise is lost on the plebes.
You just gotta believe hard enough.
CLEAR EYES FULL HEART CAN’T LOSE
WHY WOULD YOU THROW
Doug Pedersen!!
yeah, it worked, but agree was Bananacakes
Jim Schwartz just looks like an asshole.
Jeebus Tapdancing Christ, SeaTruthers
Jet fuel can’t tackle!
That’s clearly defensive PI and Dallas should be declared the winner of this game.
This is a reasonable and unbiased opinion based only on the facts.
/That’s not PI
c’mon booth review DPI + riot
“Where did all these Saints fans come from?”
It wasn’t PI, but my god that would have been awesome if they said that it was.
oh, agreed. I just want anarchy.
the amount of blood and piss would be staggering.
SAD JERRAHL
Garrett looks mildly upset
Well that ended better than I predicted.
God, was that ever a hell of a nap. I blinked and two hours went by like nothing happened. Crazy.
Dallas owned the division for 15 weeks
Rented, more like it.
Is 1917 just an endless series of a dude running away? That would be neat, actually
I think there’s some plot-setting dialogue early on, but from what I understand, yes, the rest of the movie is just him running away from some things and towards others.
“Let me see that script…” — Tom Cruise
it just looks badass.
This prevent D is not working Doug.
methinks I want 19-15, Iggles run back the 2-point attempt, but Non-Gendereds get the onside kick recovery
Christ, when he does hit the receivers in stride they can’t hang on to it anyway. IT WAS IN YOUR GODDAMN HANDS, GALLUP!!!
And a straight drop by Gallup. What a fucking shitshow
again, ONE OF THESE TEAMS WILL HOST A PLAYOFF GAME
Against the HOX. So they could win too.!
And will unfortunately go 8-8.
“What a fucking shitshow”
And Hippo said it would be hard to put this game into words.
Dammit DAK, that was a tuddy.
Gallup all like HOLD MAH BEER
/just kidding, he already dropped it
Jesus, Dak is costing himself a lot of money tonight.
Dak Discount
Discount Double Dak
Seriously, does DAL have more than 2 or 3 first downs all goddamned half? A turnover is all that kills you now.
Wentz fumbles are always soon fun
One queries why Dougie doesn’t just burn some clock and punt.
/queries intensify
shhh
He can probably do whatever he wants; the Dallas offense is in deep hibernation this week. Half the line’s hurt, Cooper is obviously hurt, and Dak can’t raise his arm.
Other than an inability to tackle, line up onsides, throw or catch the ball, this Cowboys team shows real promise.
almost impossible to put into words just how shitty this game is
Damn, can that kicker throw a football?
I’m beginning to think Kellen Moore isn’t all that bright.
Just last week he learned that Oreida was derived from the the two states’ abbreviations.
So did I.
I just learned it now.
I’m glad I’m not alone here.
Openly judging the people I talk football with now
Qardinals under Brett Hundley moving the ball better than SeaTruthers under Russell Wilson. MAKES SENSE.
Raiders alive in the playoff hunt in Week 17? THESE ARE DEFINITELY NOT MY RAIDERS.
any scenario were they could play a playoff game in Oakland?
No. 6 seed is their ceiling.
Short of a plane crash and the #7 seed gets advanced into the bracket, I don’t think so, no.
Prescott has the accuracy of me playing darts last night.
They’re not even close on the long balls and I can’t figure out why they keep doing it
Jesus christ to give up that play
Fat corrupt fuck
Jerry Jones and Chris Christie? Fuck it, go Eagles.
they should just send Los Gigantes to the tournament, under the condition that Elisha plays.
Johnny Walker blue and whores from across the river brah!
I respect the lack of fucks you have to give to be a jersey politician and not cheer for either the Eagles or Giants
55-yard FG up 11, with the other side unable to throw the ball? JEEBUS
So fuckin stupid Douggie.
Literally, no one wants to win this division.
Not even close
Eagles and Cowboys trading off team-defining derps to start the game
I’m pretty sure that Dallas is still going to the play-offs because they’re not going to lose to Washington in Dallas, I’m just not sure I want them to because I see no reason to be at all emotionally invested in the play-offs.
Although that clearly isn’t going to be a problem after the first week anyway.
they have to win AND Iggles lose to NYG, right?
No, for the Eagles to get in they need to win out and Dallas has to lose both games.
At least that’s what Joe Buck told me earlier. I honestly have no idea.
Eagles win both games, they’re in. Eagles win and lose next week, Cowboys get in with a win.
Ah, then Dallas is done. They’re not coming back tonight, and the Eagles aren’t losing to the Giants next week.
Saves me some tension anyway.
DAL wins tiebreak, but they’d be a win behind unless PHI loses. But they TOTALLY could lose to NYG.
Why are the hox running it with their top two RBs out and Charmslinger under center?
Burn this coaching staff to the ground.
Tripping on Philly? That shit got called against Dallas when they played the Massholes
*screen screen screen screen*
Wentz wants to turn it over here
Apparently the only way the Raiders can stop this Chargers’ drive is by sacrificing a player to Cedars-Sinai Spine Center.
Philly score here and that’s game.
With all this. Dallas can still win next week and win the Division.