Your Divisional Round NFC Playoff Game Open Thread

Over in the AFC it’s a foregone conclusion that the Ravens and Chiefs are gonna butt heads next week and that the games played this weekend are just a formality. NOT SO IN THE NFC, brother! Or sister. It’s none of my business as to which sibling you choose to identify as-you do you. Or someone else-WITH CONSENT!

TO THE GAME!

Vikes/Niners:

-Cousins didn’t blow chunks last week! The score aside, that was the biggest upset.

-That damn Adam Thielen ratted someone out earlier this week and is now questionable with stitches. I’m sure he’ll play but are we gonna have another “Bloody Sock” game? Will he become a right-wing nutbar after retirement? It’s too early to tell but some of the signs are there.

-Kyle Rudolf was the overtime hero last week but he’ll have some trouble versus a San Fran D that gave up but one score to the tight end position all year.

-Increasing the level of Vikes woe is the matter of lb Kwon Alexander returning from IR. Opponents pass success rate climbed to 49% while he was out. When he’s on the field that stat dips to 38%.

-Kwon and fellow lb Fred Warner defend the middle of the field very well which will force Cousins to pass to the outside which is not a strength of his. So as per usual, it’ll be up to rb Cook to pull the O out of the frying pan and into the win column.

-Before last week Minny’s record against winning teams was 1-4.

-Prediction Time! A nearly fully healthy, rested and motivated San Franny D will be the difference-Niners win 26-17.

Go at it below.

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King Hippo

Just figured out one of the reasons I did the Tomsulas. Their tackling form is near-perfect.

Mr. Ayo

So we’ve been told.
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Mr. Ayo

Well, that’s not where this was supposed to go. Thanks freezer vodka!

King Hippo

Freezer Vodka is a bitch czarina

King Hippo

Janeane >>> Dingleberry

Old School Zero
Old School Zero

ARE WE NOT MEN
WE ARE DEEBO

hippofant

Jimmy Garoppolo pancaked Anthony Barr.

I’m… trying to find a joke to make but I just can’t.

BC Dick

Haven’t seen a guido do that on TV since Rocky Marciano?

litre_cola

Xavier Rhodes did something good?

Mr. Ayo

Let the record show he did NOT do something good.

hippofant

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BC Dick

Hey, that’s mean. Guy was an All-Pro a couple years ago. And I don’t think he’s even punched a woman like she was a grown-ass man once. That’s automatic Walter award stuff right there.

Mr. Ayo

SUDDEN CHANGE!

Old School Zero

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Old School Zero

INSURMOUNTABLE TIE

litre_cola

As someone who has Minnesota +7.5 and the under, I can Diggs it.

BC Dick

Are you getting your jokes from football pool names now? Get Decilitre’s Seahawks shirt starched for tomorrow.

King Hippo

That’s Zimmer knowing he has a Dingleberry.

Spur

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hippofant

The middle of the field is consistently where the QB is, you don’t say Cris.

BC Dick

One day the 20 yard lateral shotgun snap will be respected and feared across the league.

King Hippo

Kittle also an above-average free safety, it would seem.

BC Dick

Better than Gronk’s attempt at safety.

Spur

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LemonJello

Double tap. If its worth shooting, its worth shooting more than once.

BC Dick

Over/under on her “missing” husbands?

Mr. Ayo

I don’t think she misses them BC

Mr. Ayo

QUACK!

Spur

It feels late in the day already but its only 2pm

litre_cola

Yeah, should probably get on the red wine. Thanks for the heads up.

BC Dick

Have you been drinking since 8 am too?

Mr. Ayo

One of us!

Spur

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BC Dick

Yes, that’s what it will take to get the part in my movie.

Spur

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ArmedandHammered

Worth it, at least for a slap, but the restraining order and law suit, not so much.

Mistborn Impossible

    COUSINS!!!

Spur

Game on.

Mr. Ayo

Can you Digg that?

Unsurprised

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Mistborn Impossible

Did he say “Hot Boys University?”

Spur

Did he leave an address? – C Sims.

Unsurprised

Wow. 18.3K hits for this one
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Mr. Ayo

Yeah, definitely deserves more.

Spur

I can hear Gratliff scream on each reply of this.

BC Dick

A sign of the frailty in football now. That’s such a minor nothing regular play but because he’s a QB it’s treated like some sort of vicious illegal thing. If your guy can’t take that shot he’ll be out of the league in 2 years. A football Eric Lindros. Which is a shame but not the fault of clowney. Stevens was a dirtbag though. He aimed to injure. That hit was not malicious.

Mistborn Impossible

AFAIK it’s only considered a vicious illegal thing by Eagles homers

BC Dick

Yeah. I get what they’re seeing though. The head dip. But that’s slow motion and when you’re making a tackle at full speed (on a runner, in the parlance of our times, which he was) you can’t help but drop your head sometimes when you’re trying to get low. It is what you’re coached to do in any situation because the low man wins 9/10 times.

King Hippo

it actually looked to me like he was trying to turn sideways so as not to land “with full body weight”

BC Dick

Ah. Never even thought of that. But they have to think of that so makes good sense.

Spur

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Gratliff

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hippofant

Was that like 5 for 5? ooof.

Mistborn Impossible

It’s Matt Damon in disguise!

King Hippo

Your move, Dingleberry

Spur

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Spur

That was easy.

King Hippo

really good throw by Janeane

Mr. Ayo

DONKS, WOO!

litre_cola

Cousins has a great offensive line, good receivers, stud rb yet this.

Spur

This a nice color contrast with these teams unis. Really makes me happy i have this TV.

Unsurprised

I miss summer
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Mr. Ayo

Was she a good cook?

Unsurprised

Who cares?

Spur

A Fog horn in Santa Clara?

King Hippo

Am I the only one watching the end of Inter/Atalanta (I hear you caaaaalin’) until kickoff?

/yeah, I thought so

Spur

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Mistborn Impossible

He’s making the same mistake most dudes do. Lick the clit, not the hole!

Spur

Aaron Rodgers is an Asshole and AWS has the proof.

Spur

I had my doubts but Dr Thunder can easily replace Dr Pepper.

King Hippo

The former sounds like a male stripper name.

King Hippo

Crypt Keeper Dungy has SKOL because Jeebus

Spur

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rockingdog

Found a funny:
Him: we’re being attacked by a UFO

Me: are they human?

Him: no they’re-

Me [clenches fist]: then they are dancer

Horatio Cornblower

Stumbled on ‘Unforgiven’; while Clint Eastwood has become everyone least favoUrite uncle who wants to share his political beliefs with you on Thanksgiving, I will never not stop to watch this movie.

King Hippo

Deserve’s got nothin’ to do with it.”

/near-perfect cinematic line, and delivered flawlessly

yeah right

I would say good luck to you Niners fans but that wouldn’t be sincere.

SKOL motherfuckers!

Spur

Hot day in Santa Clara. I think the Viks are going to be a problem.

Gratliff

Can’t wait for the post-game video when dejected Vikings fans are being taunted by relocated Eagles fans for some reason

rockingdog

Gotta cheer for da 9ers.

Spur

Folks

LemonJello

Sup?
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Gratliff

This AGDQ run is the craziest shit I’ve seen. Someone’s taken an SNES and modified it to connect to the internet. They’ve taken a Zelda 3 cart and modified it both to randomize all the treasure chests in the game, and make it so people on Twitch can spend bits to randomly fuck with the player mid-game by summoning chicken attacks and killing him and inverting buttons and whatnot. 2 hours in, they’ve raised $24k just in people fucking with his run. Link’s also a Pokemon right now.
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Senor Weaselo

All the chests give the Helix Fossil.

Mistborn Impossible

First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the hairy chest

Senor Weaselo

*checks* Yeah, that’s me all right. More the legs though. I might actually be Mr. Tumnus.

Horatio Cornblower

A ‘The Lion, The Witch, & The Wardrobe’ reference?

Take all my money.

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