“No Bullets Spent” Lesser Footy Morning

With world events what they have been this week, I find it particularly appropriate to feature Spoon:

What a delightful band, with amazing longevity.  I hope they are Evertonians, but unlikely.

Arsenal are away to Crystal Palace to kick things off (7:30, NBCSN).  Uncle Woy has at least temporarily taken Cenk Tosun off the Everton wage bill.  Thank fuck for small miracles.  Please Jeebus, let him score so they exercise their purchase option.  Vile shite, Cenk.

Burnley at Chelski (10:00, NBCSN) is your featured match in the main window, because…Ugly American player?  Who wants to see this dire match.  Hippo’s Toffee’s are home to Brighton in a must-win fixture (GAMBLOR devotees take note, expect a response to that woeful showing at Anfield), or even United/Norwich or Wolves/Barcodes.  All on Gold, all promise at least some degree of interest.

Spotlight dance is a real cracker, Redshite away to Mourinho’s Spurs (12:30, NBC).  I have a vague sense that The Formerly Special One can finally put a 2019-20 loss on stupid pisshead Jurgen Klopp.  The longer this unbeaten streak goes, the testier I gets.  It’s also one of those matchups where Tottenham clearly need the win MOAR.

Moose Hornets/Cherries (9:00) and City away to Villa (11:30) are your NBCSN Sunday Funday duo.  I mean, it’s worth having on in the background.  I wouldn’t be fighting through a post-apocalyptic hellscape to get to a teevee box or nuthin.

European Leagues slowly get back into the swing, with a hefty Serie A slate on Sunday, Copa Lana Del Rey all weekend in Spain, and all French divisions back at it.  The party is still missing the Germans, but they will eventually show up.  With beer.

Y’all be good.  The last full NFL weekend awaits.