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Your “Wow, That Sand Is Hot” Monday Evening Open Thread

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Our month long aimless trek in the proverbial desert with little or no BeerGuyRob  to kick around is almost over.  It was difficult, admittedly.  You don’t know what you got ’til it’s gone.  We’ve missed the ol’ boy and are glad he got some life done and some much needed R&R.  If anyone ever deserved the time, it was him.

Oh look, here he comes now…

I keed, I keed.

But in all seriousness Rob will be back in the saddle beginning tomorrow night.  I think we’re all happy about that.  And don’t think I don’t already know I blew my chance at the perfect timing for a good dognapping.

 

DAMMIT!!!!!!!

Anywhooooo…

So let’s muddle through tonight, and then tomorrow we return to quality entertainment type stuff courtesy of the Great White North professional.

Maybe he’ll even teach us some stuff.  That’s always a bonus.  The nerd in me always likes the booklernin’ stuff.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TJ0O_dUNaI

–

Sports To Dry You Out 2Nite

NBA

Nada.  Zilch.  Zero.  Still resting up from all of the intense defense played last night I guess.

NHL

  • Washington @ Vegas – 6:00pmEST – TV: NBCS

Full Schedule

NCAA BB

  • Xavier @ St. John’s – 6:30pmEST – TV: FS1
  • NC Central @ NC A&T – 7:00pmEST – TV: ESPNU
  • U*NC @ Notre Dame – 7:00pmEST – TV: ESPN
  • Bucknell @ Holy Cross – 7:00pmEST – TV: CBSSN
  • Jackson State @ Prairie View – 9:00pmEST – TV: ESPNU
  • Iowa State @ (3)Kansas – 9:00pmEST – TV: ESPN

Full Schedule

NCAAW BB

  • West Virginia @ Tejas – 8:30pmEST – TV: FS1
  • Oregon State @ UCLA – 9:00pmEST – TV: ESPN2

–

OK, I Need Some Water

Which way was I going again?

Ahhhhhh….much better.

It always pays to stay hydrated.

–

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yeah right

Now that I’m a granddaddy there are granddaddy rules.

First rule is you must read.
That rule is non negotiable.

The second rule is you must treat everyone with the respect and dignity that they deserve, based on the respect and dignity that they proffer to you.

The last rule is you have to let music in your life, because a life without music is a life devoid of love.

4
JerBear50

Sounds like they’ll end up just fine.

1
Brick Meathook

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3
rockingdog

Found a funny:
what if… what if dogs love us so much because they know we’re made of bones

2
Unsurprised

Or maybe not.
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5
Col. Duke LaCross

“It’s ‘Soulfinger’ by the Bar-Kays!”

4
ballsofsteelandfury

Love that movie!

4
Unsurprised

I wish it was summer
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3
SonOfSpam

Serious condition, but Newman’s injuries are apparently not life-threatening (direct from NASCAR).

All joking aside, that’s a relief. Because now we can get back to joking.

2
herodotus450

My thoughts and prayers workd!

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY NEWMAN I CALL HIM THE ANTI-KOBE CAUSE HE WENT FOR A RIDE IN A HELICOPTER AND WAS ALIVE AT THE END OF IT.

8
Brick Meathook

They say they can salvage the engine and one of the wheels. This is the power of the one true God.

3
Unsurprised

What? I thought we agreed on total body prosthesis. Now, lose the wheel, okay?

0
WCS

Holy shit, I had no idea. I quit NASCAR when they introduced the “playoff” system, and Jimmie Johnson won like 57 titles in a row. I was actually watching the 500 until the rain delay, changed the channel, and just forgot about it. Wow, what a wreck.

0
Senor Weaselo

Paul still reigns supreme!

0
litre_cola

Just got home from the bar. Daydrinkin needs to be topped off with a bowl and a 4 finger Irish….whisky

5
Unsurprised

A four-finger Irish something else might also be pretty cool.

1
Gratliff

I’ve had Always Sunny replaying as background noise lately and am surprised how many episodes I thought were newer weren’t filmed in HD. Currently on the revolutionary war episode, which immediately followed the Charlie mailroom/one flew over the cuckoo’s nest episode. Peak Always Sunny was OP’d as fuck.

1
Unsurprised

Ugh. The gif looks awful. You have to watch it in video form.

https://giant.gfycat.com/NaiveUnfinishedGreatdane.mp4

0
Mr. Ayo

OMG

0
ballsofsteelandfury

¡Jesús!

0
ballsofsteelandfury

From what I’m reading, Ryan Newman is alive, but in critical condition in the hospital.

At least that’s something.

0
WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-S-eeInJVk

1
Brick Meathook

Yes, but how is his car?

3
theeWeeBabySeamus

It’ll buff right out.

1
Mr. Ayo

Definitely.
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1
Brick Meathook

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1
Mr. Ayo

The new compact NASCAR!

2
Brick Meathook

They say they can get the driver out in 3 to 5 days.

2
Mr. Ayo

Better than FedEx ground

4
SonOfSpam

Ice Rams dumped Toffoli to the Ice Liouns (Canadia division). Glad we got something for him, but sad to see the breakup happening, even if it’s probably overdue.

Still, two Cups in the last decade probably prohibits any complaints.

2
Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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1
Brick Meathook

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SonOfSpam

The hat hides a very large dildo called Hardest Abe.

5
Gratliff

Relevant

#Florida, @StPetePolls:
(Change from last month)

Bloomberg 27% (+10)
Biden 26% (-15)
Buttigieg 11% (+5)
Sanders 10% (+1)
Klobuchar 9% (+4)
Warren 5% (-2)

(Conducted Feb 12-13)

— Political Polls (@PpollingNumbers) February 14, 2020

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Bloomberg is getting the nomination and can beat Trump. I don’t see a downside.

0
Gratliff

Can’t think of a single downside to a moderate Republican billionaire winning the Dem primary and dragging the overton window so far to the right that we can’t even remember what a social safety net is as we’re being processed by the new Soylent system that feeds the future wage slaves

3
Gratliff

For more specific billionaire concerns: https://www.doorfliesopen.com/2019/11/14/eagles-at-the-bye-the-gang-sticks-to-sports/

0
Brick Meathook

If you’re so fucking unhappy then just vote for me already and quit whining. My Presidency will make you miss Trump.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Moderate Republican billionaire is better than corrupt millionaire that only cares about himself and doesn’t mind destroying democracy to get richer.

0
Gratliff

So the difference between the two is the decimal place in their fortune

0
SonOfSpam

Well, I’d say Bloomberg is a run-of-the-mill asshole billionaire. But Trump’s a different cat. So between the two, obviously we vote Bloomberg. But you’re correct in that the best thing is to have neither be in charge.

1
Gratliff

I firmly believe Bloomberg would be the nail in the coffin. Adding a more PR-friendly spin to the same agenda and attaching the Democrat label to it while allowing for Bloomberg’s more ghoulish political agenda. He literally campaigned to have term limits extended and immediately campaigned to have them restored after he won. His ambitions have already been exposed and he’s dogged by the exact same allegations we here at DFO routinely attack Trump for. He blamed regulation for the housing crisis and fought attempts to stop racist policing practices. He’s the antithesis of most of the beliefs I see espoused here.

2
SonOfSpam

You ain’t wrong. To clarify, for me he’s better than Bernie and Tulsi and that’s it. I really don’t think he has much of a chance to win the nomination. Worst case, if he does, I’ll vote for him without a second thought.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Completely agree.

1
Unsurprised

Bloomberg will keep doing everything Trump has done, but more effectively. He’s the perfect Democrat.

1
Unsurprised

Like Obama after W

0
Brick Meathook

Trump hasn’t done anything.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

I think it’s more than that. Billionaires work outside governments. Millionaires need them.

Besides, Bloomberg was mayor of New York and it’s still standing.

0
Senor Weaselo

Buying the Dem primary, ppl forget that.

1
Brick Meathook

Until now I would have bet money that Trump would get re-elected. But now I think Bloomberg can beat him. I’d bet, but I only have Canadian money now and I can only buy Labatt 50 with it.

2
Unsurprised

Trump is going to humiliate the shit out of Bloomberg and it’s going to be fucking hilarious watching Bloomberg kill the Democratic Party in his failure.

0
Brick Meathook

Bloomberg can easily humiliate Trump and Trump is scared of it.

3
Unsurprised

The U.S. will officially cease to maintain any pretense in being democratic, but I mean … That ship sailed a long time ago.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There are plenty of downsides…but I won’t hesitate to volunteer for Bloomberg if he gets the nomination.

1
Gratliff

Missing those halcyon days of talking about whether or not Warren was actually progressive back when this primary started 10 years or so ago

1
Unsurprised

Okay

0
Brick Meathook

RTD said he was volunteering for MY campaign but I guess he only says that when he wants a free handjob. I call unfair.

3
Mr. Ayo

lol U*NC

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m gonna be so disappointed if my new neighbor who I’m convinced is Olivia Munn and using a fake name turns out to not be.

1
SonOfSpam

You should be more worried about leaving those pants over the back of the chair in your bedroom. They’re gonna get creased wrong.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[looks around wildly]

[relaxes]

Eh, the things you’ve seen have probably left you more frightened than I need to be.

2
SonOfSpam

Got that right. PLEASE MANSCAPE.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Is she dating anyone?

Note that this applies whether or not she actually is Olivia Munn.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No idea. We only met her briefly. Next time I see her I’ll ask for number, though (for HOA purposes, you see).

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Adrianne Palicki was awesome in John Wick.
comment image/revision/latest/top-crop/width/300/height/300?cb=20160316153424

2
ballsofsteelandfury

I’m a sucker for the black eyeliner on both the top and bottom.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, I guess it’s okay.
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1
SonOfSpam

Careful. Might have rabies.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s the Dr. Mrs. Deadly’s cousin’s birthday tomorrow, which means I have to practice making Dachshunds tonight. The bottle of Aleve has already been placed by my bedside.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The recipe, for those who have forgotten.

0
SonOfSpam

You gonna make em…doggy style?

1
ballsofsteelandfury

One more thing to note: Hugh Grant was tremendous in The Gentlemen. He played the fuck out of his fun character.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

I forgot the Belcher kids were in a porn store once…

0
herodotus450

Since their seems to be some confusion, here’s the text of the 22nd amendment
Section 1
No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice, and no person who has held the office of President, or acted as President, for more than two years of a term to which some other person was elected President shall be elected to the office of President more than once. But this Article shall not apply to any person holding the office of President when this Article was proposed by Congress, and shall not prevent any person who may be holding the office of President, or acting as President, during the term within which this Article becomes operative from holding the office of President or acting as President during the remainder of such term.
Section 2
This article shall be inoperative unless it shall have been ratified as an amendment to the Constitution by the legislatures of three-fourths of the several States within seven years from the date of its submission to the States by the Congress.
Narrator voice: It did not clear anything up.

1
Redshirt

Yeah, I checked 25 too. We’re screwed.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What on earth is there confusion about?

EDIT: Oh, I see down below. Never mind.

0
Redshirt

While we’re busy waiting for word on if Newman’s been sent to that Great Speedway in the Sky, I just want to announce that there is a new Mighty Ducks movie where the Ducks are the bad guys and a silly version of Thundercats.

The Ducks are now the Hawks and we have Thundercats GO!

So it looks like we can’t go a goddamn week without our precious childhood memories suffering yet another violation.

1
SonOfSpam

They had the black screen in front of Newman’s car on the track, like when a racehorse breaks down and they have to euthanize him. I’m not saying that’s what’s happening, just saying hold your tickets until the race is official.

2
Horatio Cornblower

Should have euthanized Theissman after LT shattered his leg. Poor old guy can’t even hold his pee in now.

2
herodotus450

Did god punish Nascar for hosting trump????!!>?

0
LemonJello

More than he has already?

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Something tells me Newman is not alright. Gordon was practically choking back a tear there…

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Ooh, I just came up with a brilliant idea after watching a Bloomberg political ad:

Vice President Obama!

2
SonOfSpam

Barack or Michelle? Because one of them would make people apoplectic-er than the other.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

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0
Redshirt

He may not eligible to be Vice President. If he is, he would be ineligible to serve as either Acting President or President.

That Spamson’s idea is kosher.

1
SonOfSpam

NAWT TRUE. He can’t be elected President again, but he can be chosen as VP and then take over.

Again, I love the trolling part of that idea.

1
Redshirt

Heh heh, you must be mistaken.

Spoiler

SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!

If Trump gets wind on this, he’ll pull a Putin and we’ll never get rid of him!!!

4
ballsofsteelandfury

Hee hee hee!

0
SonOfSpam

Yes. My apologies. It was a boaking accident.

1
Gratliff

The Bloomberg campaign is a psyop conditioning people to be okay with Trump by threatening them with something worse

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I got a call from the Bloomberg folks this evening.

0
SonOfSpam

Luckily, my number’s on the Jew-not-call list.

2
SonOfSpam

See what happens when you invite Trump to things?

3
Horatio Cornblower

That guy would fuck up an orgasm.

Or at least pay $130,000 to cover one up.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Bob’s Burgers episode on now!

0
Serious_Sauce

Hello all. Litre’s buddy moar of an ice football enthusiast but I share a last name with NASCAR Daytona guy so I have that going for me.

6
yeah right

Welcome!

1
litre_cola

Wine guy dont trust him. He did order rye though

1
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

What is your position on pants?

2
Serious_Sauce

Ain’t no party like a no pants party…

4
ballsofsteelandfury

Good answer.

Let him in.

2
SonOfSpam

Welcome, Mr. Trickle.

3
Redshirt

Way to celebrate when someone may be dead for all we know.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Beginning to think this might be real bad, but you’d think the track officials would have sent word to tone it down if Newman was really hurt or dead.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Looks like Denny Hamlin has won the Daytona 500 with a crazy last lap. Ryan Newman ended the race upside down!

0
Mr. Ayo

Wild finish. Hope Newman is okay.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Not sure, but a NASCAR driver might be dead.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Tis but a scratch!

0
Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, everyone’s celebrating a bit too much for him to be dead. Hell of a wreck.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

The Gentlemen was a very fun Guy Ritchie joint! Also, the movie theater with the in-seat service was exceptional. I love drinking alcohol while I watch a movie on a big screen.

3
theeWeeBabySeamus

Last time I did one of those was in Florida. I was hammered and the former tWLS kept feeding me popcorn and chicken. She didn’t hate me yet.

I felt like royalty.

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?????

1
ballsofsteelandfury

It really does feel like you’re royalty.

“Lemme summon the hot and shapely butler… A cocktail, please! Oh, and bring some beignets about 45 minutes into the movie. Thank you!”

1
BC Dick

Slightly more classy than smuggling beer cans in the lady’s purse.

1
yeah right

It was incredibly fun. That man has a style and an eye for style. Definitely worth a trip to the cinema.

1
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I like pleasure spiked with pain
And music is my aeroplane.
It’s my aeroplane.

2
rockingdog

red Hot chilli peppers
thats my jam

1
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