Well, my two weeks of Spring Break is almost over. There is a plan to have us “report to work” on Monday, but as of now no one knows what that will look like. We do know there won’t be any students, and we are expected to retrieve our materials in order to attempt to teach our classes from home.

That sounds fine if you work in a normal program, but my students are primarily attendance-challenged, so “work from home” will probably equal them ignoring my emails & playing more Fortnite or other such thing. (I do not play video games.)

Nonetheless, much like Fozz’s late-night rant from yesterday predicted for him, I spent the day in hell cleaning & deciding what to toss & what to surreptitiously hide. At least now I have a semi-clean office in which to cloister every day.


Today’s internet good dog is Peanut, a mutt who loves mudd & obviously hates his owner.

https://twitter.com/Wendywoo_g/status/1243070958077972480

Good boy.


Tonight’s … entertainment?:

  • The Great British Baking Show – 8:00 PM | PBS
    • A tennis cake based on a Victorian recipe; and two types of cream horns.
      • Also: How to be precise with mokatines; and construct a choux pastry, Religieuse à l’Ancienne.
    • This should get you ready for tomorrow’s “Sunday Gravy”.
  • 48 Hours – 10:00 PM | CBS
    • 48 Hours investigates whether Lizzie Borden really hack her parents to death. A surprising answer and an inside look at the haunting crime scene.

In case you were curious, here’s what a Religieuse à l’Ancienne should look like,

and here’s what it looks like if you try & make one from Tim Hortons’ product.

See you tomorrow.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Viva La Tabula Raza

So I am watching The Petrol Age on Amazon Prime. It’s pretty interesting, and not a bunch of loud-mouthed assholes hollering.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

That’s the “old” Bunker Hill in downtown Los Angeles.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Balls, you would like this. The footage above is a rear-projection element shot by a Hollywood studio on Bunker Hill before they tore it all down. Some other landmarks remain. I made a matching film once, I’ll see if I can find it and post it.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve seen this video before! Yes, I love this stuff! I’d love to see what you put together!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Game Time Decision

Its still plugged in.
Darwin entry coming up

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

GFI; he’s fine…… except for his balls.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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you ever start posting gifs and listening to podcasts and forget something?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

I can’t tell if Under Siege is a Good Movie That Sucks, or A Bad Movie That’s Great.

Either way, Tommy Lee Jones, Gary Busey, and Colm Meany make perfectly charismatic bad guys. They’re so much fun to watch. Plus, Miss July.

litre_cola

With that cast it is a bad movie that is great

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s a train wreck of fucked up people in a very stupid movie.
So I agree with you; it is great in a way only Hollywood could do.

*Not Jones and Meany.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Joan, sweet Joan..

Gratliff
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

I think that’s Ida Lupino

Mr. Ayo

I think Ida not care.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, she was around 19 in the photo.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Game Time Decision

Photographic evidence that ladies fart

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, also worth mentioning is that I transplanted two of my mj seedlings into some space I cleared out in the spinach patch and three more into small pots. I need to find a home for the one last one so I can start re-using the starter pots for probably pepper plants.

litre_cola

Mrs Cola just caught me eating floor chips. Chips that fell out of the bag when I lustily grabbed the bag from the cupboard.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Floor chips are my favorite kind of chips!” – my dog

litre_cola

“#metoo” – Oxipug R.I.P.

Brick Meathook

Lead paint chips: delicious but deadly

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I added an extra plot to the garden – not sure where I’m going to get the soil to fill it with, but I’ll make do. I am also going to try to grow potatoes in a bucket. Today I spent some time talking with my neighbor and musing out loud about how I would go about building my own still, should it come to that. I’d probably fill it with broken glass, if you can believe that.

I am going to get hammered tonight.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Regarding your 2nd paragraph: Beetcha 2 it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hey man, it’s not a race.

[hurriedly pours self another Cuba Libré]

Gratliff

2 episodes in, this is what I understand to be the four types of big cat owners:
1) Homeless-exploiting militant magician
2) Victim-grooming cult leader magician
3) Fake-sanctuary-operating volunteer exploiter
4) Retired caricature of a 70’s drug lord (this is the good one)

litre_cola

I am 5 episodes in. Strap the fuck in.

clint greasewood

Every time they introduce a character it gets worse.

Gratliff

Woman: “He should shut down his zoo.”
Man: “Fuck you, I don’t have to. I’ll fucking kill you.”
Woman: “He’s insane. I want to rescue his animals.”
Man: “She lies to her workers and tricks them into becoming volunteers.”
Woman: “I find if I lie to my workers, I don’t have to pay them. It’s a good system.”
Other Man: “I have 3 wives who can’t leave the property without me.”
Other Other Man: “I had one of my guys cut the head off a federal informant. This is Frisbee the leopard. *nuzzles*”

Brick Meathook
Horatio Cornblower

Drinking one of these thanks to a friend who recently went to NV
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Solid taste, possibly greatest name ever for a beer.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, Season 3 of Ozark came out last night and I need to spend the next 10 hours watching it.

Gratliff

Things are suddenly looking up for Knicks fans.

Horatio Cornblower

Does Dolan have Covid-10?

Gratliff

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Senor Weaselo

As a matter of fact yes.

clint greasewood

The coronavirus has been banned from MSG

Gratliff

The Rona was told it couldn’t use the employee entrance and is getting its revenge

Gratliff

These are all guys who are Ted Nugent if Ted Nugent would kill Ted Nugent on sight for killing a deer. The insanity definitely ramps up early in episode 2.

Viva La Tabula Raza

The first 8 track tape I ever bought was Ted Nugent. Stranglehold, baby. That motherfucker really is like a dog in heat. Fuck him with a barbed-wire encrusted Stratocaster.

BugEyedBoo

I thought Ted Nugent was the shit, back when I was 16. Significantly less of a fan now. Still have the hearing loss from being right in front of a speaker tower at his concert though.

Viva La Tabula Raza

He’s like the Tom Cruise, Tim Allen, and Dave Mustaine of my life. Very disappointed.

herodotus450

In tryiing times like these you just gotta get back to basics
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0KXV0gB0dw

Viva La Tabula Raza

Until you posted this, I forgot that I used to have this LP, and that this was an actual band, and I thought this was a really rocking tune. (video doesn’t seem to want to get on the internet. look up Bread and Mother Freedom).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWLtrq92nx
50-odd-years-ago me was kind of a dumbass, even more than modern up to date internet me.

Viva La Tabula Raza

This seems to work better.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRNe04kw3Cg

Gratliff
theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, I just LOST $1000 fake dollars to people I don’t fucking know. I’d rather give it to you assholes.
OPEN A GODDAMNED TABLE.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Just won a tourney and got $3k back.
Wooooo!!!!!!

WCS
Gratliff

vis-a-vis reyes tigres, why do these big cat owners also do magic? That shit should get them on the FBI’s short list.

herodotus450

“Tell me about it…”
-Siegfried

herodotus450
theeWeeBabySeamus

Fine, I’ll just go give my 2.5 Million chips to strangers because you guys obviously don’t want them.

ballsofsteelandfury

Someone needs to put up the Hippo Signal for a new table.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I CAN WIN TOURNAMENTS EVEN WHEN WCS AND MYSELF AREN’T CHEATING.

Yes we used to do that. That’ll getcha killt in Vegas.

WCS

Hey, “cheating” is a harsh word. I prefer, “enhanced cooperation.”

Also, I can’t get the damned program to run on wifey’s CPU.

theeWeeBabySeamus

See? I knew she hated me.

Mr. Ayo

SOB!

theeWeeBabySeamus

FWIW, we never cheated against our friends. Only other people.

Mr. Ayo

Nice try, Pete Rose.

Mr. Ayo

Yeah, I’m just going to play VR poker now. My 2.9MM can wait for another time.

herodotus450

I only give up my chips if there’s a sexy lady hiding behind some obfuscating tiles.

Gratliff

your coronavirus name is your name + died of coronavirus

— blaine capatch (@blainecapatch) March 29, 2020

Gratliff

Went with this one instead of the one below it with a 48 year old Mt. Sinai nurse’s last text to his sister. Getting to the point where we should probably start publicly shaming people who aren’t taking it seriously when they’re fucking about in stores and shit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Game Time Decision

See they went live action for Kung Fu Panda 3. And lasers. Lots of lasers

litre_cola

Gettin pretty drunk. Day 14 inside. At least it isn’t toilet gin like in prison.

Viva La Tabula Raza

At least not yet.

herodotus450

Just updating the DFO Wiki: Moose has a sympathetic foot fetish and Mr. Ayo hates Achewood. Anything else?
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theeWeeBabySeamus

i’m firmly against body odor.

herodotus450

Ok, removing tWBS from the list of “candidates to repopulate 1600s France.”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehehe

Mr. Ayo

This is a perfect example. WTF is this? What’s funny about this? What’s the actual point of this?

ballsofsteelandfury

Making a motorcycle jump over Everest is funny, I think.

Mr. Ayo

Live funny look at Mr. Ayo’s screen:
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ballsofsteelandfury

THAT is funny!

herodotus450

Friends spying on each other: check
Old ass spyware computer technology: check
Talking animals: check
Virtually jumping a motorcyle over Mt Everest: check
Setting the Mt Everest pic as the desktop background, instead of just maximizing the window: check
Handwritten post-it note showing who’s monitor we’re looking at, juxtaposed with the inscrutable technological feat of computers plus the exponentially more unbelievable idea of remote monitoring someone else’s computer: check
What exactly was the point of setting up this remote monitoring? Are they just fucking with “Ray,” or are they trying to protect him from Nigerian scammers, or is it just some good old fashioned fun?: check
Mt. Everest is ~30,000 feet above sea level, no modern fuel injected, much less carbeurated, engine, could operate at such heights.
Is the person we’re watching an idiot?
With a modern computer at one’s finger tips, is this the type of entertainment to be had? Could “Ray” not have had more fun playing an actual motorcycle “video game”?
etc.

Mr. Ayo

NERD!!!

Brick Meathook

I’ve always been sure that Ayo is fucking with us. Here at Day Nine of my voluntary quarantine, I get it. I’m watching different Kommenters crack up in their own ways, and you can see me. Huzzah!

theeWeeBabySeamus

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BC Dick

We’re all gonna get laid!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Or beat off, at least…

Viva La Tabula Raza

I just could never get over the way Journey fucked over Aynsley Dunbar, so fuck Journey. Google it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Have we abandoned Poker again?

Mr. Ayo

We just have a lack of leadership keeping the tables open.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve got a freeview of Starz this weekend anyway.
I GOT MOVIES!!!!!

Mr. Ayo

Dude, pornhub premium is free this weekend. We all have movies.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I don’t watch porn anymore. Errrrrr, I mean I never did if my mother asks.

SOMEBODY OPEN A POKER TABLING THINGY!!!!!!

litre_cola

I would play in an hour

Gratliff

Hearing a lot of buzz about the Tiger King thing on Netflix. Anyone watched it yet?

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Col. Duke LaCross

Buckle up buddy. It’s six-plus hours of batshit craziness.

Gratliff

3 minutes in and John Kasich is on my screen. Smashing that thumbs down button.

Col. Duke LaCross

That’s his only appearance!

Mr. Ayo

Feels like everyone but me (and you) have watched it.

Game Time Decision

Just figured out what it was a few hours ago

litre_cola

Episode 4 tonight. Fucking ridiculous. Ep 1 is slow and ep 2 hooks you.

clint greasewood

Just Lurking
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herodotus450

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Col. Duke LaCross

Former Bearistocrat Anthony Adams is a national treasure.

rockingdog

last funny:
Wolves have no clue what we’re going through.

herodotus450

Did someone say quarantine spanking?
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Brocky

Welcome to another edition of good idea bad idea:

Good idea: i suggest to my dad I stay at the old house we’re trying to sell, its empty, and there’d be less chance of us infecting one another.

Bad idea: house has limited amenities, and I don’t mind the lack of wifi because I have unlimited data, except there’s shitty cell service

rockingdog

Found a funny:
my first grader is out of preprepared lesson plans so today he’s going to learn all about The Fifth Element

ballsofsteelandfury

Better than Caligula!

Viva La Tabula Raza

I like that Caligula guy’s style, Will emulate!!
—@realdonaldtrump

Viva La Tabula Raza

Moolti-pass.comment image

litre_cola

Yesss. This made me giggle.

herodotus450

The Great Salt Lake Causeway AKA Natures Maxipad
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Col. Duke LaCross

The road to Antelope Island where there aren’t any antelopes, but a giant buffalo herd.

Mr. Ayo

BTDT. Antelope island is awesome

Col. Duke LaCross

Going to start running the trails out there as soon as it warms up.

Mr. Ayo

Smart. I just biked out there.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I flew over this on a flight from Sacramento to Denver last summer. Veddy Interesting.comment image

herodotus450

If celebrity deathmatch were still around, and as nostalgically good as I remember, I’d like to see Ben Folds vs. Ben Gibbard. THE BATTLE OF THE BENS.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Big Ben Folds would just “clock” Gibbard in the head with a Brick.

ballsofsteelandfury

Is Mr. Meathook agreeable to this?

rockingdog

Wow.
All the traffic cameras in London:
http://www.tfljamcams.net/

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s amazing! At least that shit’s public!

scotchnaut

Random Thought:

No one in Bert Kreischer’s audience would get the reference if he sang “I Wanna Be Your Dog”.

ballsofsteelandfury

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scotchnaut

#selfisolationspanking is trending…

Mr. Ayo

That’s a proper tushy

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m sure you saw this one coming.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jB_QM73Slk

Viva La Tabula Raza

The structural engineer on my technical team is from La Grange, TX. She is the smartest human being I have ever met. Today I turned her and her husband on to the ZZ Top documentary I pimped here yesterday. Waiting for reaction, I think it will go well. A hau hau hau. A hm hm hm.

rockingdog

Looks like governor Raimondo finally made the call.
Stay at Home Order for all of Rhode Island.

LemonJello

That’ll keep tens of people safe…

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL…I need another turkey.

herodotus450

Churches everywhere are apparently still holding large gatherings, which makes sense considering how much they love to fuck the young and defenseless.

scotchnaut

Say what you want about churches having large gatherings, hastening the End Times is really good for business.

Viva La Tabula Raza

They’ve been waiting for this forever.

scotchnaut

“Forever = Two Thousand Years.”

-Christian Math

Viva La Tabula Raza

Also, “Forever=Eternity in Heaven, Where The Only Black People Will Be Those Singing In The Choir”

Unsurprised

Damn it. You already won this year’s tournament

herodotus450

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scotchnaut

Stress drinking has me teetering between functional and dysfunctional alcoholic. I’ll let Iggy take it from here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sSKH0iXWo8

litre_cola

I hear you. Wine and I are best mates again.

Game Time Decision

Again….still

ballsofsteelandfury

I would eat the shit out of the Religieuses à l’Ancienne.

Les deux.

Mr. Ayo

You’d the shit out of anything shaped like an ass.

ballsofsteelandfury

This is true.

ballsofsteelandfury

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Mr. Ayo

I’d eat that!

Redshirt

If anyone is concerned about their 401(k)s or Portfolios dropping any further, I may have a found a market that isn’t quite as flacid.

https://www.cincinnati.com/story/entertainment/2020/03/27/pure-romance-sex-toy-sales-skyrockets-after-stay-at-home-orders-business-closures/2925815001/

WCS

LOSERS INVESTMENT CLUB ASSEMBLE!

Viva La Tabula Raza

My cousin is an attorney as well as an aficionado of murder crimes, especially historical ones. One time when I was up visiting, she had to go down to Fall River city hall for some lawyering-related reason or other, I was just hanging around the house, so she took me along. I asked her to drive by the USS Massachusetts, which she did, and then she just drove me on over to Lizzie Borden’s house to show me that. She didn’t even have to look at a map.

BaldingSpiritually

The lighter the dog color the more they love to get dirty.

Source: Have two golden retrievers with one being English creme and the other normal. Guess which one likes mud more

Game Time Decision

You