It’s not so much boredom as the tedious repetition of daily events that is starting to get to me during this current march towards the apocalypse.
So we decided to break up the boredom a little by leaving the dogs at home & reverting to the 1970s childhood nightmare known as “The Sunday Drive”.
Using Google as our guide, we eventually found our way to a purveyor of the alcoholic arts. The Fraser Valley Cider Company
is a lovely spot about 45 minutes from the house, in one of the few remaining rural farming areas of the Lower Mainland. While their tasting room is closed due to the pandemic, we were still able to order a few bottles to get us through until Monday.
Such are the sacrifices one has to make.
Tonight’s … entertainment?:
- eMLS Tournament Special – 7:00 PM | FS1
- Week one featuring LA Galaxy, LAFC, Chicago Fire, and FC Cincinnati in an EA SPORTS FIFA 20 tournament.
- The Simpsons – 8:00 PM | FOX / City
- When Maggie reunites with baby Hudson from Playdate with Destiny, Marge won’t let her play with her new baby crush because of his annoying mother, leading Maggie into a depressive spiral.
- Meanwhile, Cletus comes across quite a bit of money and becomes a helium tycoon, so Mr. Burns wants Homer to help him obtain it.
- Spy Wars with Damian Lewis – 8:00 PM | SMITH
- ESCAPE FROM TEHRAN – If you haven’t seen “Argo”, or are Canadian & read about Ken Taylor, then this is the story for you.
- Bob’s Burgers – 9:00 PM | FOX / City
- Tina goes to see Josh perform in a tap show, and suspects sabotage when he’s injured on stage.
- Bond Marathon – Sundance
- 6:00PM – Goldfinger
- 8:30PM – For Your Eyes Only
- 11:30PM – The Spy Who Loved Me
Finally, I’d be remiss if I forgot it twice:
Hey! Are you going stir crazy being cooped up at home?
Why not tell us how you’re doing. We are currently taking contributions for our “Cabin Fever” posts, and would appreciate some Commentist input. Just send you thoughts/ramblings/treatise to [email protected] and we will make sure to include it in a future post.
Just think of it – you, posted for real on the internet, just like a Deadspin author. And just like Deadspin, you aren’t getting paid. But unlike Deadspin, we will allow comments.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXxUt3E_3gI
RIP John Prine, and Kasey Musgraves is awesome
Thanks.
This is pretty good:
https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/john-prine-last-days-beautiful-life-tribute-family-friends-bonnie-raitt-981646/?utm_source=pocket-newtab
My mom called me up the other day and said, I hope jokingly, that “Goldfinger” is now a documentary.
– the Americans are so fixated on the Russians they don’t worry about anyone else
– the Chinese concoct a scheme to ruin the US economy
– to accomplish their plan, they intend to spray something deadly & kill thousands of people.
Just curious; what is her main source to consume all these hawt takes?
The senior’s home I may be moving her out of soon if this shit keeps up.
Holy shit.
Like I said, “hope jokingly”. They just cancelled Coachella, so I really don’t want to have to visit that valley now.
Dude, I’ll help load the truck
I have an SUV; I can carry a bunch of stuff.
What does she think about Connery raping Honor Blackman?
Whoa, that’s one I hadn’t heard before.
I think covid was made in a Wuhan meth lab
How do you think they put in all those hours at the Apple factory.
Justin Trudeau, the diplomat as he is, offered his sincerest condolences and support for the victims of today’s shooting.
All the victim’s families get a one year grace period to wear blackface and grieve.
Plus, to cope with the pain, some of his mom’s Xanax.
Was she selling on the side? That’s a good place to network.
Somebody’s already made a shirt for sale.
?v=1587348698
So during the ’80s…..
Just another barnstorming team, officer.
Well, I never burned it.
[rubs gums, sniffs, talks in circles until 6:00 am, is horny as hell, but unable to do anything about it.]
Speaking of drinking shitloads of high-octane beer on a Sunday night…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6R0Udhja44
Oh, shit, ‘Jupiter Ascending’ was a documentary!
Having the final fire of the season along with a glass of scotch. If I’m going to be a prisoner in my own home, I’d better at least do it right.
It should get into the nineties next week. Such a strange place, this Los Angeles.
I’m about to start fire season.
Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil, and Dr. Oprah discussing stay-at-home orders
An entire season’s worth of Quotables humor in a single comment. Well done.
https://youtu.be/YVUBTyGhQUo
I hope Dr. Oz [parody] and [parody] and [parodies] in a slow and agonizing manner
https://www.detroitnews.com/story/news/local/detroit-city/2020/04/19/5-year-old-first-michigan-child-dies-coronavirus/5163094002/
I’ll just say it: I hope Dr. Oz dies in a slow and horrible manner in a part of the world that hasn’t even heard of morphine.
I hope he gets shot by Zed.
I am down with that.
I decided to proceed with a third beer, which has led to the extremely questionable decision to open a fourth.
My meeting tomorrow is gonna be awesome.
From now on, setting this as my zoom background and pointing my camera at the ceiling
Pretty sure Jordan is about have a liver failure.
Those are some damn yellow eyes.
I’ll take that bet!
-M. Jordan
No don’t! Oh, shit, I’m dead!
-M. Jordan’s dad
SAVE OUR SONICS!
Gonna miss them guys.
We allow comments?
We allow people the facade of believing their comments matter.
Remembering the halcyon days of PHP message boards, whose millions upon millions of posts were slowly wiped off the internet, and now wiped even from archive.org, so that nothing done on the internet before 2005 really happened.
I’m all in on listening to MJ dunk all over Jerry Krause for another 10 hours.
Traveling Cocaine Circus
I want a documentary on that team
a.k.a. the 1986 Mets?
Put that shit on a T-shirt and retire
Sidney Moncreif! memories…
Jerry Krause is still the miserable piece of shit I remember him as
The Last Dance is on. You know, the documentary about Donna Summer!
I swear someone just texted me about it and I thought they meant the Scorcese doc about The Band.
Undeadspin is back this week! Will give me something to do at work besides drink.
I learned today that cutting your own hair with electric clippers is harder than I thought it would be. I now look like John Candy’s character from Stripes, during boot camp, only a little less husky.
But are you a lean, mean, fighting machine?
No.
I survived my first attempt late last week. Key for me was not to get too ambitious with the setting: I just went from “really needs a haircut” to “probably should get one soon.” I have a superstitious notion that if I cut it too short, it’ll never grow back and I’ll be even balder than I already am.
I could not find mine.
I’m trying to hold out. I’ll see if I give up and go for it soon.
I’ll be doing it on Tuesday or so. The trick is extreme patience.
I’m gonna use this as an excuse to grow my hair as long as I did back in the 70s. Gonna wave that freak flag!
I can’t stand having long hair anymore, 20 years ago it was down to the small of my back as I was growing it due to my girlfriend wanting me to have long hair. The day we broke up I got a crew cut.
3rd beer has been poured, and happy to report it’s a mild 8.8 ABV.
Westworld is about to make even less sense than usual
I love Louise Brooks! That reminds me, I need to see what the silent movie is tonight on TCM
I knew you’d make the right decision!
Me: ‘Let’s turn on Westworld!’
Guy On Westworld: ‘There are no permanent memories, because all of our memories are in the present’
Me:
Nice!
Funny because it’s true
Maybe Alex Jones can donate his cures instead of using some libtard’s ventilator.
Huh – Canada snapped first. At least 13 dead.
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/rcmp-weapon-lockdown-portapique-1.5537598
“The US snapped in preparation for this long ago. Don’t say we weren’t prepared for snapping. We can do snapping”
-Charles Whitman
Guess I jinxed it the other night when I noted no mass shootings in quite some time…
That’s just north of Halifax. I went to Dalhousie for one (1) day, because I found out after I moved in to my private dorm I got by virtue of being a foreign student that my mother hadn’t actually done what she was supposed to do as far as financial aid and lied to me about it until literally the day I flew up. So I got to fly back to the states the next day because fuck me, I guess. So anyway, 8 days later, 9/11 happened. I missed an entire year of college. Few weeks later, I was employed for one (1) day at a Wawa because I blew my knee out the night after getting hired, and it was about 6 months before I could stand on it for more than hour at a time. Spent most of the 01-02 school calendar year in a dark depression with constant suicidal ideation while my mom was laid off and my dad who was still on his only sober stretch of my entire life constantly explained to me why his children all being fundamentally broken wasn’t actually because of his life-shattering behavior as a drunk. He’d actually quit because the day after Thanksgiving 2000, I ran away when I was supposed to be staying at my grandmother’s and took a greyhound from Wilmington, DE, to Texas. Was sleeping on a floor in Jackson, MS, when Bush was awarded his stolen election. That floor actually belonged to the person I was planning to go to Dalhousie with, so there’s that thread. I contacted my mom a month later and told her I’d come back on the condition that he’d be gone. They were still living together when he died 12 years later. Anyway, his sobriety lasted until my first (1st) day of community college in the fall of ’02. I stayed at home through my first degree to act as a shield between him and my siblings because I couldn’t trust my mother, with only a few incidents involving police and neighbors breaking into my house to pull me off him.
Anyway, was either gonna reference Dal or Trailer Park Boys, and can’t just toss Dal out there without proper context.
Damn man.
Considering all that, I guess I won’t whine about how tough it was to get financial assistance for my UTex college career.
Whoa, shit. My family had a lot of shit to deal with, but they were always standup people that really tried their best. I can’t quite put my brain there; while I understand, I don’t understand. at all.
You are quite the man dealing with all that.
Of course, the trade-off is that you come out of that environment a wild animal and land in someone else’s life like some sort of trauma grenade. Then, you grow up and mellow out and wonder how life ever ended up boring (it’s a good thing!).
Manhattan or rye and lemon? I’m also off tomorrow, so both is very much in play. WEVE GAWT THA GREATEST HOLIDAYS EVAH!
Rye & lemon.
Done and done
You running the Marathon? Shouldn’t be too crowded.
BOTH
Thanks to our old buddy Snow I just accidentally had an 11.5% for my second beer, and I have to “work from home” tomorrow, including a conference with my “supervisor” about “productivity” so I guess my “question” is, 3rd beer, or no?
“accidentally” ………. “work from home” …….. “supervisor” ……… “productivity” ……..“question” …….
Kevin Martin really putting it all together in the ‘09 Brier final on TSN.
Jesus Christ Brazil. What the fuck are you fucktards thinking? MBGA?
Well, you know who loves him some Trump.
Read an article in the Times today about Bolosaro’s* determination to level the Amazon and all the indigenous folks in it, and I am now openly rooting for Covid-19 to just fuck shit up.
*probably spelled his name wrong, but fucker is not worth looking up.
Oh he is a scumbag of merit.
Your mustache sucks so bad I’m going to shoot it off.
“Why does the monster always show up when I’m about to shower??
And I’m still wearing my heels for some reason.”
I had to ax the question.
Okay, shoot.
Have not used an escalator for quite some time.
My wife has done that to me and it is awesome.
That speaks well for the shape of your wife’s behind.
Made you go to the mall?
http://pickwicktelethon.com/?linkNum=1&campaignID=376042&patronID=1136716385&memberID=e66526dc5a6a93705974fdc60eb40f11
Mike Polk Jr is doing a oneline show to raise donations if anyone needs some Cleveland based humor.
Humor besides the Browns organization I mean.
Never forget.
So, watching this “Lost L.A.” PBS series make me want to go back and re-read all of James Ellroy’s stuff.
Bouncing Betty will blow your balls off!!
Just ask that detective……
“Shoooooooooooooot heeeeeeeeeem……shooooooot heeeeeeem.”
-Ted the Cat
Umm I will have a dime bag and some funions.
“We’ll have to order the Funions.”
From Weekend Update:
“Mitch McConnell, seen here calmly watching an orphanage burn…”
“Spread the tallow around, for a consistent flame”
Wash your hands too.
He thinks he’s people!
Smarter than a lot of them, apparently.
Anyway, happy Monday.
Let’s do the wave.
Alex Jones’ dad?
Any guesses who the NFL troublemakers were in 1974? Hint: it was the black guys.
So you are saying that things have not changed much.
They have not.
Still made me look, an average team with some good players.
https://www.pro-football-reference.com/teams/den/1974.htm
The WR screen.
They forgot one of the Ford Foundation’s most shameful scandals: funded numerous commie PBS programs!
Childless couples: Nah, we’re good, thanks.
JOE NAMATH’S OWN STORY:
“Yer cute, I wanna kish you.”
Not in 1971 or so.
Needs a haircut first.
And a shave by Farrah Fawcett.
Well at least this time you don’t have to feel bad for all those people stuck inside watching Game 7 of the World Series. Or Game 7 of the NBA Finals. Or any other sporting event of any other kind whatsoever [breaks down in tears]
One good thing about the virus is that it bankrupted the New XFL like a live birth abortion. Suck dirty stump water through a pygmy blowgun, McMahon!
Sad thing is this one had potential. However, seeing how he is treating his WWE employees, Vinny Mac can eat pond scum.
Agreed; the rich or wealthy guys will be fine by fucking over the employees.
Man, the story of Dodger Stadium and Chavez Ravine still pisses me off.
Shit. Compared to that, Mike Brown’s deal with/screwing over Hamilton County to get Paul Brown Stadium sounds almost benevolent.
/ found a funny
“The COVID-19 numbers are starting to flatten. We can start removing the social restrictions” = “The parachute is slowing our decent. We can start removing it now.”
I wish it was just these fuckers.
That would be so schadenfreudy. Unfortunately, there’s gonna be a lot of collateral damage.
Including the healthcare system. They should sign the form I posted (stole) in last night’s thread.
New rule: Everyone who want to stay inside gets 30-days worth of food, water, books, premium cable and high speed internet.
Everyone else who wants to restart the economy can laissez-faire their hearts out. However if they get COVID-19, they cannot go to the hospital. Any attempt to enter a hospital (for reasons of COVID-19) or someone sheltering-in-place will result in summary execution.
Any objections?
Please see above. I’ll go get it.
Here it is:
Problem is they can infect people. You seperate them for 30 days, that allows Natural Selection to thin the gene pool and we can relaunch Homo sapiens a little bit better.
As has been mentioned here.
I’m looking for it now. But, as always, I have a feeling your ideas will be intriguing to me and I’ll be wishing to subscribe to your newsletter.
I think the author is okay with you giving it to them for signature. From 10′ feet away, of course.
Not a problem. I’ve changed my official signature to a paintball marker shot. I can sign any official document from 50 yards. 75 with no wind.
No; THOSE people need to sign it. I’m *sure* they would.
8.5″x11″ or card size is fine.
Your Honor, I had an objection but I seem to have misplaced it in my “Don’t Give A Fuck” folder, so I’ll just respond with a ‘meh’ to ensure a complete record.
When my current supply of craft beer starts to run low, I think I’ll order in some good craft cider. I think the only reason I don’t drink it more often is that I have this tendency to think of it as expensive, but I probably spend more on an evening of wine drinking than an evening of cider, and it’s not like I’m drinking grand cru burgundy or anything.
There are a few craft cider places here that make great stuff that is not so sickeningly sweet like the commercial stuff. Dry, subtle, smooth.
https://stemciders.com/taproom/
http://csquaredciders.com/
Haven’t tried those. My favorites so far are Reverend Nat’s out of Oregon, and Tin City Cider from Paso Robles, CA.
Yeah, the mass-produced ones are generally too sweet for my taste. I don’t mind an off-dry one if it’s done for a particular reason.
Cider is fantastic, but it’s unlike beer in that you really can’t knock back like six ciders. Two or three is tops for me before the sweetness gets to be too much.
That’s the thing about good craft cider; most of it is not sweet, it is dry. If you are drinking sweet cider, it is on the low end that they are adding sugar to cover the poor craft.
Oh, I’ve had some very nice dry ciders. But I’m still tapped out at three.
Well maybe you need to train harder!
DATE BATE!
She don’t know shit from Shinola.
She does know good …casting.
I’m getting sleepy.